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Sress Fractures

3:54:00 PM Posted In , , Edit This 0 Comments »
That's what I feel like inside...like I've got many tiny little stress fractures that are weakening me over time and making things more difficult to manage. Gavin's therapist wants me to meet with Nick and Pam next week so that I can give them an idea of what life with Gavin is like. She said she gave them a snapshot, however, they still habor the dillusion that Gavin does not have Aspergers, OCD, or PTSD...that I'm making everything up to keep them apart. It all sounds so very Romeo and Juliet-esq doesn't it? The therapist assured them that Gavin's doctors are the best of the best in the area and that if I had been able to bulldoze one of them, I would not have been able to fool them all (2 therapists, 2 pediatricians, 1 pediatric-neurologist, 1 pediatric developmental-neurologist (apparently they are different), 2 teachers, 1 principal and soon an entire Autism team - in case you're curious and keeping track). So now I have to meet with them. The idea of which makes me more panicy than I can say. I have to do it for court. I have to do it for Gavin. I just wish the whole idea didn't give me panic attacks and huge migraines.

How many of me?

5:22:00 PM Posted In Edit This 0 Comments »

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Exhaustion

11:55:00 AM Posted In , , , , Edit This 0 Comments »
I'm laying in bed. Trying to get some work done while the baby sleeps next to me. I'm absolutely exhausted. Partly because my migraine and tummy meds are kicking in and they make me sleepy. But mostly because the stress of life is seriously getting to me.

Gavin had his bi-weekly supervised visit last night with Nick and Pam. He's been seeing mice who he says are trying to eat him alive lately after the visits. Last night wasn't any different. He got dressed for school this morning while standing on his lower bunk so the mice couldn't eat his feet. :( Gavin also came home with two interesting pieces of information:

1.) Nick and Pam told him last night that "the lady judge said you get to spend the night at grandma's house soon". (That never happened. It's up to Gavin's new shrink (appointed by the courts) to make a determination as to what is in Gavin's best interests. But she said that they wouldn't get anything more than what they have until Nick starts taking things seriously (ie. completes his case plan and gets sober) and Pam stops making excuses for Nick. It will be a cold day before any of that ever happens.)

2.) Gavin had a karate promotion this morning. He apparently told them about it. Pam said she couldn't make it because she has to work. Nick promised to be there, which is a problem for many reasons. A.) He legally isn't allowed to see Gavin except at the church every other Sunday. B.) We all know that he wasn't going to show up. But he promised Gavin. And of course, he broke that promise.

Gavin has a difficult time making sense of the world in general to begin with - he doesn't need them making the waters muddier for him. I don't understand how they can be so heartless. I don't understand how they can play mind games with an Autistic 7 year boy. I just want to brain him.

Nick didn't show up, of course. Gavin's shrink said if he did we were to tell him to leave and have the police remove him if necessary. I was kind of wishing he would show up so that Gavin wouldn't be let down with yet another empty promise.

On a happier note, Gavin's promotion went off without a hitch. He received his orange belt and broke a 1 inch thick pine board with his bare hand!!!! :) It was SO COOL to see! Rob and I couldn't stop smiling. Rob took like 50 pictures and some video. I meant to take some pictures but forgot my camera. Not that Elliott Richard let me hand him over to his Grandmas for more than 5 seconds at a time. lol

Gavin is still at school and so far they haven't called and asked me to come and pick him up - his teacher and I agreed that if he had too difficult a time today after the lies yesterday and the let down today that she would call me and I could just come and pick him up. So I guess he's doing okay - at least I hope he is.

Asperger's

1:51:00 PM Posted In , , Edit This 0 Comments »
I don't know who reads this journal. I don't think anyone does. Oh well, better for me I suppose. I belong to an Asperger's group because of Gavin, my 7 year old son...I don't post because I don't know what to say. I'm unsure how to start. Some of the members have Asperger's and others live with/love someone with Asperger's (a high functioning form of Autism).

Gavin is so anxious that he's seeing things and pulling his hair out. His Risperdal doesn't seem to be helping. I feel lost. Like I have no one to turn to for support. I can't even imagine how Gavin must feel. We had to shave his head. Our house is constantly filled with drama.

I have the worst migraine I've ever had from dealing with the daily drama. My pain meds have my thoughts all scattered and broken. I probably don't make ANY sense right now. *sigh* Never mind...

Stroke...stroke...stroke...

8:14:00 PM Posted In , Edit This 0 Comments »
One little word so many different meanings. Guys on the rowing teams call it out as they...well stroke. ;) lol However, I don't get to use it in a positive manner. My grandmother had surgery on Tuesday, March 6th. She had a few of her vertebrae fused together in an attempt to stop her crippling back pain. She was doing well until today about lunch time. The doctors and nurses were checking on her and she told them that she couldn't feel her left arm and leg. Then when they asked her to move them, she couldn't. She was preparing to be released and transferred to rehab tomorrow morning. Now she is camped out in the Stroke Ward for the foresee-able future. They are still running tests trying to figure out the extent of everything.

Ah...true love...

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