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Some Mothers Get Something More

6:53:00 PM Posted In , , Edit This 2 Comments »

Some Mothers Get Babies With Something More
Written by: Lori Borgman
Columnist and Speaker

Expectant mothers waiting for a newborn's arrival say they don't care what sex the baby is. They just want to have ten fingers and ten toes.

Mothers lie.

Every mother wants so much more. She wants perfectly healthy baby with a round head, rosebud lips, button nose, beautiful eyes and satin skin. She wants a baby so gorgeous that people will pity the Gerber baby for being flat-out ugly. She wants a baby that will roll over, sit up and take those first steps right on schedule (according to the baby development chart on page 57, column two). Every mother wants a baby that can see, hear, run, jump and fire neurons by the billions. She wants a kid that can smack the ball out of the park and do toe points that are the envy of the entire
ballet class. Call it greed if you want, but a mother wants what a mother wants.

Some mothers get babies with something more. Maybe you're one who got a baby with a condition you couldn't pronounce, a spine that didn't fuse, a missing chromosome or a palate that didn't close. The doctor's words took your breath away. It was just like the time at recess in the fourth grade when you didn't see the kick ball coming, and it knocked the wind right out of you.

Some of you left the hospital with a healthy bundle, then, months, even years later, took him in for a routine visit, or scheduled him for a checkup, and crashed head first into a brick wall as you bore the brunt of devastating news. It didn't seem possible. That didn't run in your family. Could this really be happening in your lifetime?

There's no such thing as a perfect body. Everybody will bear something at some time or another. maybe the affliction will be apparent to curious eyes, or maybe it will be unseen, quietly treated with trips to the doctor, therapy or surgery. Mothers of children with disabilities live the limitations with them.

Frankly, I don't know how you do it. Sometimes you mothers scare me. How you lift that kid in and out of the wheelchair twenty times a day. How you monitor tests, track medications, and serve as the gatekeeper to a hundred specialists yammering in your ear. I wonder how you endure the clich├ęs and the platitudes, the well-intentioned souls explaining how God is at work when you've occasionally questioned if God is on strike. I even wonder how you endure schmaltzy columns like this one-saluting you, painting you as hero and saint, when you know you're ordinary. You snap, you bark, you bite. You didn't volunteer for this, you didn't jump up and down
in the motherhood line yelling, "Choose me, God. Choose me? I've got what it
takes."

You're a woman who doesn't have time to step back and put things in perspective, so let me do it for you.

From where I sit, you're way ahead of the pack. You've developed the strength of the draft horse while holding onto the delicacy of a daffodil. You have a heart that melts like chocolate in a glove box in July, counter-balanced against the stubbornness of an Ozark mule. You are the mother, advocate and protector of a child with a disability. You're a neighbor, a friend, a woman I pass at church and my sister-in-law.

You're a wonder.



**********************
I borrowed this from Susie's blog. She borrowed it from someone else. Quite frankly, I don't care where it came from. I'm just content to have found it. I cried the first time I read it. Then I read it to Rob and I cried again. I've always felt that there weren't words to do justice to how it feels to be a mother of a child "with something more". Apparently there are words to do it justice. I simply hadn't found them yet.

2 Comments:

Nicole said...

I love the sincerity with a touch of humor. It's soooo true. I second, "YOUR A WONDER!"

Kari said...

This is a great post!! Thank you for posting it!! I do not feel like a hero or a saint at all but I am thankful for the kids and the job that has been put in front of me..(even though some days I struggle) Both of my child have issues...very different from one another.

My oldest was born with spina bifda occulta..we are blessed that he can walk(he had to have one major surgery) and is only missing l3 and l4 vertabrea..and other then a big scar on his back and the muscles in his legs being too tight and PT he is doing great..Then my daughter has a seizure disorder that is not controlled with meds yet and also has a sensory intergration disorder..so we are still struggling with her quite a bit till we can get her seizures more controlled!!

But with all of that said..I would not trade it for the world...(some days if you asked I might loan them to you for awhile..but I promise I always ask for them to come back...hehe)

Thanks again for this post it is great!!!

Hope you are doing well!! I am praying for you and your family!!

Ah...true love...

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