My Breastfeeding Badges of Honor

The People That You Meet

11:28:00 AM Posted In , Edit This 2 Comments »
So I'm swiping a line from Mr. Rogers here. The people that you meet each day...this blog's for you. (Now I'm swiping from Bud Weiser. Lol)

Dear random neighbor,

While I appreciate your zest for life and love of family, it truly is un-necessary for you to stand in the middle of the road to discuss such personal matters as: baby-momma payments (otherwise known as child support), who the new baby-momma is (and whether it's considered 'cheating' if you are just booty-calls etc.). It definitely is not advisable to proclaim how strong you are and what a wonderful job you are doing in not "pulliing yo baby-momma out-tha-car for a beat down" just moments before you reach *into the open driver's side window* to smack your baby-momma. Not smart. Remember, avoiding angry neighbors and calls to the police is just like real estate. It's all about location, location, location.

Dear many not-so-random neighbors,

With the discovery of the automobile eventually came to invention of the horn. It's a fabulous liitle invention. Always available while driving to share your emotions when words just aren't enough. Or when words *are* enough but you really don't need them repeated (remember the situation in daycare that just got cleaned up from last month? Yeah, that's my point...)That's why we were given the horn. To replace the "eff you's" with "beep beep's". However, it is a gross misuse of "The Power of the Horn" to use it as a doorbell.

Yes, I realize that you are "busy" and very likely lost in your own head going over and over a list of everything that needs to done. But honestly, would it kill you to pull up (which you do anyhow), place the car in park (again, which you likely do anyway), and then rather than continuing with the current method (which includes leaning on your horn at all hours of the day and night until *someone* responds) you could deviate and be considerate of the rest of the block. Rather than honking us all into insanity or simply a blinding-sleep-deprived rage, you could get out and go up to the door and knock or ring the actual doorbell. Just as effective in the long run with only slightly more effort involved. Of course, if the sole purpose of using the horn is to save you from having to actually *move* (Gasp! The horrors!) then you aren't likely to knock on the door. So how about you pick up your cell phone and only disturb ONE household; as opposed to the whole block? Just a thought...

Dear dog-lovers in our neighborhood,

Just to clear a few things up that may have confused you:

No, I do not think your unleashed, unregistered, and likely very dangerous (beit by breeding or by training or both) Pit Bull is cute/sweet/well-trained (insert various adjectives here). Your dog terrifies me and I do not want to make friends with him/her. As such, you allowing said pooch to roam the neighborhood does not give me warm fuzzies. It gives me great pause and reason to call the dog warden in order to protect myself, my family and my neighbors. So save us all the time, hassels, and heart palipations and get a leash or leave Fluffy in the house.

Yes, dogs will bark. And yes, smaller dogs will usually bark more than most. (Gotta love that "Little Man Syndrome".) Admittedly, at first it did not bother me. Then I realized that it did not bother you either. Ever. I also later realized that your dogs spend nearly all day, everyday out in the fenced in yard. So rather than barking a few times a day, we now have it all day, everyday. Thank you for that. My life is now complete.

I think I'm done now. (lol)

PS This blog was meant as a tongue-in-cheek sort of vent. And odds are if you know about this blog and have read this one; it does NOT apply to YOU. :)


Nicole said...


MarcsMom said...

I would love to print that out and send to some of my lovely neighbors...You have such a way with words! hope things are going as somewhat normal as they can. Everything is same here .loveeeeeeeeeeeee summer vacation!!! hahahahahah. ttys

Ah...true love...

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