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How are we suppossed to know what to do???

5:03:00 PM Edit This 2 Comments »
Gavin came home this morning and we found out that Grandma W caught him sneaking Lego's when he knew he was not allowed. He keeps claiming that he "Forgets". This is so frustrating because it appears that Gavin has become a liar.

We have known for a while now that Gavin has major problems but how do we know when he is lying. How can you tell when your autistic/bipolar child is lying to you or honestly unable to remember. It's so hard for Lizze and I because with everything he has going on, memory loss isn't out of the question. We struggle because it seems like he can remember the things that are important to him (but that isn't always the case either).
It sometimes seems that some of the repeditivness is compulsive on his part (again which is VERY possible). For example, if we tell him "No Lego's" he will throw a fit and then ask again 5 minutes later, but it's like he's asking for the first time all over again. So we may have heard him ask 5 times but each time he asks he thinks he is asking for the first time. We have had this happen over and over again for days at a time. Does that make sense?
The other side of the coin is that he may be minipulating us (because he has become EXTREMELY minipulative). He will ask the same question 10 different ways to try to get what he wants and then freak out each time we tell him NO.

It gets to the point where we have to ignore him completely, which feels terrible. I know I can only take so much. The doctors don't seem to have anything to offer as far as what to do. All we are told is he has to held accountable for his actions. The problem is how can you punish a child for something they may have no control over and how do you tell the difference?


Anonymous said...

I have a question . . .why don't you get rid of the lego's?? they seem to cause so much grief. I'm sure it will just be something else next, but start with this.

Kari said...

My daughter has a seizure disorder and also has sensory intergration and we deal with some of the same problems as far as knowing when she is having an episode or just being a 5yr old trying to get her way...
It is very hard to tell the difference...we are working on a system right now though and it seems to be working (for now..that could change tomorrow) and I do not know if our system would work for you all but try givng Gavin a time limit as to when he can have the legos again...we show her on a piece of paper what the clock in the living room will say when she can have whatever it is she is wanting and if she comes back 5 minutes later without a clue (and you can usually tell by repeating yourself with the clock on the paper..whether she remembes then it is a fit if she does not she says ok and off she goes, and you know she will be back soon asking again and again)then we know it is a episode...and that is what we do...and we answer the same way over and over every few minutes till it is passes...and with her sometimes it turns into a full fledge seizure so we have to be very careful and watchful...
Good luck to you all and know that you are thought of often...

Ah...true love...

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