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One of my many truths

10:50:00 PM Posted In , Edit This 4 Comments »
I didn't write this. I found it on a website (blog?).

The Making of a Wife Beater

First, I will wine and dine her
Then I fill her head with fairytale dreams
All the while, telling how gorgeous she is

Just a few more moves
and I will be all set

Now it time,
to build her confidence skyscraper high, with lies
Mmm, this is a major key;
To make them fall below their foundation

Not quite finished
How can one forget these fun tools
Get her pregnant
and make her totally reliant on my money

Wooohoo, the fun begin

First a few curse words,
kneaded with some demeaning gestures
Next tighten her wallet a little more,
then start blaming her for everything
and slow down the intimacy

She’s almost ready for her first slap

I need to yell louder
and tear apart her core viciously

Its time to push her over
She’s all primed

Smack, crackle and punch
Wow, what a cool way to start my day
Now, its time to say I am so sorry over and over
and hold her tight, while I beg for forgiveness

Hey, I can’t have friends and family know
She needs to lie for me
After all, it all her fault
Once she does this, I win

Here’s my favorite part:
It’s so easy to beat on someone that loves you unconditionally
Because they have nothing left and no place to stay
And the fatherly bonus is,
my little son tommy will know how to keep his woman in place
Now you know why, I always wear a shit-eaten grin

Edward K. Deputy

I am not posting this to be enflamatory, no matter what you may think. I am posting it because it made me think. It made me sad because it's true. This is how my years as an adult began. I've often been asked "why". Why I married him. Why I stuck around as long as I did (the longest 8-9 months of my life). Just why. All I can say is, this is why. I didn't see it coming and then once it was there, once reality set in I thought I could change me. I thought I could change him. I thought I could fix it all and give Gavin what he deserves - two parents who love him. So for those of you lucky enough to never have been in this type of a relationship, this is how it begins. This is the anatomy of an abusive relationship and a wife beater...


Julie said...

thank God you found the love for yourself and for Gavin to get out of that situation when you did...and thank God for your wonderful hubby Rob :)

Irish Gram said...

I applaud you for leaving when you did. I stayed for 15 years and 4 kids before I got strong enough to leave. Not a day goes by even now, more than 25 years later, that I do not say a prayer of gratitude for the life I live now.

New Writer said...

I have a friend who finally left an abusive marriage, and I fear for my sister now. I don't think it's even intentional, that they create this enticing, evolving trap. It's just how they learned to behave as children. We need to help little Tommy.

Also, my friend said, which has helped me so much in understanding my sister, that you lose yourself. Your entire life becomes about helping/pleasing the abuser. There's just not the objectivity inside that trap to see it for what it is.

Huge kudos to you for breaking out of it. My friend is so greatful, that she volunteers on the HelpLine each week, and her goal is to start a scholarship for abused women. (After her divorce there were tough years while she leaned on her parents and went to college.)

Lola said...

You know I never told you this, but I still remember the email you sent out to the "loop" telling everyone you two had gotten married. Of course, given the history I was unsure of my feelings for it, but there was part of me that was jealous. We were in the same boat. Not married with babies on the way (or at that point, newly arrived). We both wanted to give our kids "everything". We wanted them to have mommy & daddy TOGETHER. And here you had that. But that feeling didn't last long b/c I really started to worry since you weren't answering emails or IMs - at that point we didn't have phone numbers for each other. Tom thought I was nuts but I knew in my gut things weren't right. I wished so much for a way to help you. That wish came true they day you left .. and again the day you met Rob.

Ah...true love...

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