My Breastfeeding Badges of Honor


10:02:00 AM Posted In , , Edit This 0 Comments »
If you've ever watched South Park you may have seen the episode with the boys at the county fair when Kyle declares "Shenanigans!" because a game is rigged. That's what I'm doing. I'm hereby declaring SHENANIGANS!!!!

I've heard it said before that we do not have to like the cards we are dealt but we have to play them to the best of our ability. To this I declare SHENANIGANS!

As a direct result of my SHENANIGANS declaration this is what I would like to see happen: I want a redo, re-deal, mulligan on life. I do not want a new husband or children or family for that matter. I want a fair, flippin' shake. I want the scales balanced, rather than so obviously tipped against us. Because seriously we can't seem to catch a break to save our lives. Let's look at the evidence (with the actual odds where available):

Exhibit 1: I was in an abusive relationship/marriage (I use that term loosely here.) before Rob. I left on Valentine's Day 2001. Before I left I was promised that IF I left I would be lied about and generally drug through the legal system as it was attempted to take Gavin from me. I left believing that our legal system would see through this ruse. I was wrong. We've spent this last 7 years fighting against this very situation.

Exhibit 2: Our house has been struck by lightning no less than 3 times the past 5 years. Seriously, what are the odds on that? (General odds of being struck once: 1 in 700,000)

Exhibit 3: Unexplained preterm labor resulting in a preterm baby times 2. (General odds: 1 in 10)

I know there are more, however, I'm just too upset at the moment to think of them. I'm just so frustrated with life at the moment. For those of you who remember, we've been van shopping for a while now. A month or so ago, we found a van that meet all of our needs. The problem is that fighting Exhibit 1 has obviously taken it's toll on us and getting financing is an issue. So unfortunately that van was not meant to be.

So Rob and I kept an eye out after that but didn't actively look because financially we are still in the same spot. Well, yesterday the perfect van was placed literally right in front of me. I was taking Gavin to OT and speech and there it was driving right in front of me with an add written on the window. I took down the number (something I never ever do) and passed it on to Rob. He called and the van is perfect! It's exactly what we need. It's right in our price range. It's a private sale as opposed to a dealership. I tried not to get excited. I really tried. I failed. I got excited. I dared to hope. I felt so certain that it was meant to be. I was wrong. We were yet again unable to obtain the financing and so yet again I've got the rug yanked out from under me.

And so I declare SHENANIGANS! I want to catch a break. I want to stop feeling as if the deck is stacked against us. Please?


Ah...true love...

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