My Breastfeeding Badges of Honor

Cracking....

6:48:00 PM Posted In , Edit This 3 Comments »
Today has been particularly rough for me. I feel like I am starting to crack. I am trying to take care of everyone and it's overwhelming to say the least.

Lizze has a new full time job and that is keeping Tiny in the oven as long as possible.... She was the glue that held us all together. Now that she is effectivly out of the picture for the next few monthes I have some big shoes to fill.

I am chasing after Elliott Richard all day long. He is into absolutely everything.. Lizze keeps trying to help which stresses me out even more because she shouldn't be. Gavin is, well, Gavin. In a perfect world Gavin alone would be overwhelming. I am trying to run a business so we can financially survive and stay on top of everything else. Business could be going better. We are in the time of year where the house's are just starting to go up again...Things will get busier this summer but I will have to sub all the punch out work out because Lizze will need me at home.

I am trying to focus my limited efforts on the computer repair and video processing side of our business because I can do that out of my home office. My Microsoft projects should start becoming available again in the coming months. I have been working for them for almost 10 years now and really enjoy it. My favorite is the Microsoft Office Accounting phase. I am really good at that and have recieved many awards for my work on that project. ***links removed to protect the family from crazies*** But over the past few years I haven't had as much time to dedicate to them as I would have liked. I have a feeling time will become harder to come by in the near future....

I just lost my medic card today. It expired on March 29, 2008. I have tried not to think about that because it is really depressing. Working as a medic was the only thing I had left from my career as a fire/medic. For those new here, I had an accident about 7 years ago while on a call. I destroyed my back and found out that I have degenerative disc through out my spine (not a good thing). I have been in constant pain since the accident. I have become used to it so I don't always notice it. However, it is always there, slowly eating away at me. I still managed to work as a medic for a few years after to take care of Lizze and Gavin but with everything we had going on it became to much. Next to being a husband and father it was the best job I'd ever had.
I have continued to keep my card up to date hoping maybe someday I would be able to use it but it is to expensive to renew this time around. I just can't justify spending $500 on something I may never use again.... I am really sad because it feels like a part of me has died...

I am really struggling to hold everything together...I can't remember anything anymore. The worst part of my day is having to give Lizze her injections. She is terrifed of needles and here I am injecting her twice a day. Her arms are all bruised up and I hate the fact that I did that to her. I know it's important but it doesn't make it any easier. She starts and ends her day with an injection. I really admire her strength and courage because she faces one of her biggest fears twice a day... She even tries to make me feel better about giving them to her.. Amazing, isn't she...

Elliott has his 2 year check up in the morning and guess what, he is getting several shots plus a finger prick to test for lead. I am not looking forward to that.

Gavin is going to Lizze's mother's for awhile. Between our parents they are going to carry the Gavin load for some time. This break is so crucial because the stress in the house is simply unbelievable. It's not in Gavin's best intrest to be here right now, nor is it in ours to have him here. So a big thanks go out to our parents.

I am done for now becasue my head is pounding and Lizze is due for her heprin injection at 8:00 pm. I have to get Elliott down and then I have dishes and laundry to do...

Please continue to pray for Lizze that she can make it through the next 115 days with as few complications and health risks as possible. Also for Tiny, Gavin and Elliott...
Sorry, if this didn't make sense but my head hurts and it pretty much made sense to me as I was typing. I am not meaning to complain about my responsiblity I just sometimes get ovrwhelmed like I seem to be today......Venting seems to help.....
Thanks 4 listening......

1:07:00 PM Edit This 3 Comments »
Cupcakes! Yum. That is all. :)

11:02:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Laptop is taking a dive. Rob is trying to revive it. That's why i'm mia most of today. No worries. :) <Lizze :)>

Bed Rest ~ Day 20 Recap of Day 19

7:48:00 AM Posted In , , , Edit This 1 Comment »
Okay so I promised updates last night but those just didn't happen. Sorry about that.

Everything is okay. About as good as can be expected at this point. I didn't sleep very well last night - combination of crazy dreams (that I can hardly remember and don't have a clue as to how I should describe them) and Elliott Richard not sleeping well because he kept kicking his blankets off. Now we're just snuggling and watching "The Upside Down Show". (I hate this show.)

Last night went pretty well. We still don't know what's going on but I was treated LOADS better this time around. The longest wait we had (besides lab work being processed) was for Transport to come and pick me up. The Transport chick was a little...odd. I think she was trying to lighten the mood and make me feel more comfortable with stories of women who had waited in the ER waiting area so long they were "clamping their legs together to keep the baby in". Not something a pregnant mother in preterm labor, with a history of preterm labor, really wants to hear but oh well. lol

The nurse whose tag line last week was "We'll be with you in a few minutes" was working again last night. She didn't help us. She actually didn't even look at us beyond the initial glance. I was registered and weighed. Once in my room, I had no sooner gotten in the gown and situated in bed before my nurse came in and introduced her self. She finished the whole registration process and hooked me up to the monitors and left. Only to return within five minutes with the doctor! *shock* Both my nurse and my resident were really, really nice. He checked me (still high and firm) and ordered some tests (blood work and all that good fun stuff). Rob and I hung out (hence the crappy picture of me in the previous post) for a while. The nurse brought me some ginger ale to drink (yum) and even said Rob could get me food (double yum)! :) So he went and got me one of the hamburgers the hospital makes. (I don't know why but I love these hamburgers!) Not long after my delicious hamburger the doctor came in and said he felt it was just "normal pregnancy stretching" and that most of my tests were normal. One of the tests was being held up in the lab and they didn't want to make me wait because it could take quite a while for it to come back. They took Rob's cell phone number and were going to call with the results no matter what they were. But Rob told the nurse we could go the "no news is good news" route, meaning she would only call if there was something wrong. (We haven't heard anything so all must be right with the world.)

I don't agree with that because by now I know what "normal pregnancy stretching" feels like. These cramps were directly tied to the backache. I only had the backache with the cramps...never one without the other. Granted they weren't timable or anything but they were regular and painful. All that matters though is that the cramps and backache weren't accomplishing anything in terms of dilation and whatnot. So I'll just stay down (surprise surprise) and talk to Dr. D about it at my appointment this week.

Once we were home, Rob set up my new Bed Rest Haven. And then Dad G brought Elliott Richard home with FOOD! (Yum) Once the living room was all rearranged, Elliott Richard was in bed and our tummies were full...I was too pooped to post. lol

I've got pictures to post but I need to upload them first. So they're coming...just give me a few. :)

20 down ~ 115 to go

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