My Breastfeeding Badges of Honor

The Great Address Book Purge

8:47:00 PM Posted In , , Edit This 0 Comments »
Ok, so Rob gave me this great new phone that's way more than I will ever need. However, he feels better for having given me a really cool phone and I can check my email and instant message from whatever. The problem is that I have needed to enter my contacts for the past...oh let's just say month now. I'm finally getting to doing that. Not because I want to but because I'm tired of getting text messages and not knowing who they are from. Plus, I'm on bed rest and I feel that I should at least accomplish a few "real life" things while I'm laying here.

Anyway, as I'm going through my contacts in Outlook I'm noticing duplicates galore. As well as, email addresses with no names and whatnot. So...I'm cleaning out my contacts. If I disappear from your MSN Messenger list, I'm sorry. If you no longer get emails from me, well, that's not really indicative of anything since I don't really email anyone very much. But you get the idea. I'm not deleting on a personal level. It's strictly a matter of time and space. (Do you have any idea how long it takes to scroll through all those email addresses with no names when I'm just looking for someone's phone number?! It's insane.)

Some Mothers Get Something More

6:53:00 PM Posted In , , Edit This 2 Comments »

Some Mothers Get Babies With Something More
Written by: Lori Borgman
Columnist and Speaker

Expectant mothers waiting for a newborn's arrival say they don't care what sex the baby is. They just want to have ten fingers and ten toes.

Mothers lie.

Every mother wants so much more. She wants perfectly healthy baby with a round head, rosebud lips, button nose, beautiful eyes and satin skin. She wants a baby so gorgeous that people will pity the Gerber baby for being flat-out ugly. She wants a baby that will roll over, sit up and take those first steps right on schedule (according to the baby development chart on page 57, column two). Every mother wants a baby that can see, hear, run, jump and fire neurons by the billions. She wants a kid that can smack the ball out of the park and do toe points that are the envy of the entire
ballet class. Call it greed if you want, but a mother wants what a mother wants.

Some mothers get babies with something more. Maybe you're one who got a baby with a condition you couldn't pronounce, a spine that didn't fuse, a missing chromosome or a palate that didn't close. The doctor's words took your breath away. It was just like the time at recess in the fourth grade when you didn't see the kick ball coming, and it knocked the wind right out of you.

Some of you left the hospital with a healthy bundle, then, months, even years later, took him in for a routine visit, or scheduled him for a checkup, and crashed head first into a brick wall as you bore the brunt of devastating news. It didn't seem possible. That didn't run in your family. Could this really be happening in your lifetime?

There's no such thing as a perfect body. Everybody will bear something at some time or another. maybe the affliction will be apparent to curious eyes, or maybe it will be unseen, quietly treated with trips to the doctor, therapy or surgery. Mothers of children with disabilities live the limitations with them.

Frankly, I don't know how you do it. Sometimes you mothers scare me. How you lift that kid in and out of the wheelchair twenty times a day. How you monitor tests, track medications, and serve as the gatekeeper to a hundred specialists yammering in your ear. I wonder how you endure the clich├ęs and the platitudes, the well-intentioned souls explaining how God is at work when you've occasionally questioned if God is on strike. I even wonder how you endure schmaltzy columns like this one-saluting you, painting you as hero and saint, when you know you're ordinary. You snap, you bark, you bite. You didn't volunteer for this, you didn't jump up and down
in the motherhood line yelling, "Choose me, God. Choose me? I've got what it

You're a woman who doesn't have time to step back and put things in perspective, so let me do it for you.

From where I sit, you're way ahead of the pack. You've developed the strength of the draft horse while holding onto the delicacy of a daffodil. You have a heart that melts like chocolate in a glove box in July, counter-balanced against the stubbornness of an Ozark mule. You are the mother, advocate and protector of a child with a disability. You're a neighbor, a friend, a woman I pass at church and my sister-in-law.

You're a wonder.

I borrowed this from Susie's blog. She borrowed it from someone else. Quite frankly, I don't care where it came from. I'm just content to have found it. I cried the first time I read it. Then I read it to Rob and I cried again. I've always felt that there weren't words to do justice to how it feels to be a mother of a child "with something more". Apparently there are words to do it justice. I simply hadn't found them yet.

Bed Rest ~ Day 74

8:24:00 AM Posted In , , , Edit This 0 Comments »
I am thrilled to report that I actually got more than a 45 minute stretch of sleep last night! Wooooo Whooooo!!!!!! Rob and I made it to bed at about midnight. And it helped that I had just taken my medications for my back right before we went to bed. I vaguely remember Elliott Richard waking up at one point screaming his head off. Rather than wait for me to drag my pregnant butt out of bed (which is getting more and more difficult everyday) he hopped out of bed and ran over to Rob. Then he climbed over Rob into bed between us and we all fell asleep. We just woke up about a half hour ago. I'm by no means "caught up". (And yes, I know that you can never trully "catch up" on sleep but you get the idea.) But it was nice to get some sleep. Although I'm now more exhausted that I was yesterday because my body has had that taste of sleep and realizes how much it's been missing.

I had a crazy dream too. Rob, the boys and I went on a little mini vacation somewhere. When we got home we discovered that our house had been broken into. Rob started making the phone calls (police etc) while I went and took an inventory of what was missing. Here's the odd part, nothing was missing. Whoever had broken into the house had played with Elliott's toys and gone through his clothes - making a huge mess - but they hadn't taken anything. I'm thinking it has some subconscience meaning having to do with Elliott Richard and Tiny. It was just interesting.

I don't have any big plans for today. Just laying in bed. Staying down as much as possible, which honestly isn't nearly as much as I'm supposed to be down. I've been awake a whole 45 minutes and my back is already throbbing. And could it possibly be any colder this morning?! Ick!

74 down ~ 61 to go

Ah...true love...

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