My Breastfeeding Badges of Honor

It's the little things.......

10:47:00 PM Posted In Edit This 2 Comments »
Some of you may remember I gave up my prized xbox 360 Elite (which was my only outlet) in order to replace our video camera. It was really the only thing I had left I hadn't sold off. I hung on to it as long as I could but I decided I would rather have the ability to record and document our lives (which I love to do) then play video games.
Well I used my fathers day gift (Best Buy gift card) to get Call of Duty 4 for my PC (which is actually pretty high because of my video editing and computer repair work I do for people out of my home office).

I had mistakenly assumed that I could use my wireless 360 controller for this game (like you can with most new games). Turns out you can't and that really sucked. I have never been able to use a mouse and keyboard to play a game like this. I used to play my xbox Live friends in Call of Duty 4 for the 360 all the time after the kids went down at night.

After a day or 2 of really being mad at myself for not checking the controller info out before getting something I cannot return, I decided to try the mouse and keyboard because I LOVE this game. Not that anyone cares but I am actually getting pretty good at it now. Once I beat the single player game I may try online.

This is the only good news I have to post. It's stupid but it's all I got at this point. It's the little things.......

Just call me Sha'Nay'Nay

8:56:00 PM Posted In , , , , Edit This 0 Comments »
Sha'Nay'Nay is my alter ego. She's the name I go by when I've had enough of my life and I want to be someone else for a while. That's the name I answer to when I can't stand the sound of Mom, Mommy, Mama, Lizze etc. Although no one calls me that anyway so I honestly don't know why I bother.

I've been trying to formulate a blog in my head all day. Nothing sounds good. Nothing does justice to life. And I don't want to sound like "Wendy Whiner" as my Daddy used to call me. Mostly, I just don't really know where to start.

My stomach is killing me. I can say with complete sincerity that I have rarely had pain like this in my life. And I've injured myself quite a bit between 8 years of gymnastics and being a typical hyperactive kid growing up. At least with all of my various injuries, the pain peaked and then began to subside at some point. There is no peak. There is no subsiding. It's just a plateau of intense pain at this point. My stomach/diaphragm muscle is so exhausted from the pain of it all that I can physically feel tremors in it.

You know, rarely in my life have I ever been speechless. I just love to talk. I usually have an opinion on just about everything. But now...I've got nothing. That's how overwhelmed and far gone I am at this point with everything. Rob met with Pattie tonight. He's told me what was discussed. I don't remember it. I'm sure he'll tell you what he can later.

I was a complete slacker today. I didn't make any cards. I didn't update Tiny's pregnancy journals and calendars. I played solitaire on my phone. Watched a lot of pointless television. Napped off and on. And now I'm going to take half of my night-time medications and then I'll take the other half later. Who knows, perhaps I'll have something insightful to babble about once they kick in. Seems to be how it works out every other night. *sigh*

Drama. Drama. Drama.

12:29:00 AM Posted In , , Edit This 4 Comments »
My nightime medications are slowly starting to kick in, which means I'm becoming "chatty cathy". (lol) I debated between discussing the neighborhood drama of late and discussing what my current favorite shows are. I'm going with neighborhood drama for $200. (haha)

Let's see...where to start. We have an issue in our neighborhood with the teenie-bopper boys who like to imagine they tough guys. The one kid's mother seems to almost be afraid of her son. Her daughter seems to believe her younger brother is a "good kid who don't cause no trouble". Apparently she missed him getting hunted down by the cops for fire starting the other day. I'm sure the cops must have misunderstood him. (sarcasm)

Well, lately the teenie-boppers have acquired a basketball hoop (the details of the acquition are shady and hazy and still remain unclear) and begun playing basketball in the street. Now while this isn't necessarily an issue, it becomes an issue because Team Teenie-Bopper doesn't like to play by the same street rules we all followed growing up. *We* had fear of the massive vehicles plowing down the street. *We* respected the fact that they could (and just might) flatten us into asphault pancakes. Team Teenie-Bopper has decided that *we* should fear and respect *them* so long as they are playing basketball. The scene from "Wayne's World" of 'game on' and 'game off' for traffic, doesn't happen here. If we ask them not move with either civilized words or a beep of the horn, we are rewarded with a few colorful choice words or certain fingers being flashed our way. Then they continue to play. Leaving us with the choice to try and drive around them or wait for them to allow us through or just plowing through and ending up on the 6 o'clock news. And they know they we would never go for option 3.

We've called the cops. They made them move the hoop. Only to have it back in the street 20 minutes after the cops have left. We've tried to talk nicely to the older sister, which led to a verbal argument between the sister and my other neighbor (who is very cool). My neighbor called Teenie-Bopper's mom at work and told her that we (the neighborhood) are not going to put up with his behavior anymore. His mom said she's asked her kids to behave or the will get evicted but they don't feel there is anything wrong with their actions.

When did parents become so terrified of their own children? Granted, there are times when Rob and I are terrified of Gavin; however, this is a completely different situation. Gavin's anger and almost un-natural strength when he's enraged make him terrifying. We don't fear him lashing out in general. We fear him actually harming himself or one of us in a blind rage. She seems to fear TB because his behavior is so out of control and she knows she helped create that, that now she doesn't know how to undo it. So she fears him. (Did that make sense?)

It's sort of sad though. Because she lost control of her kids, they will likely lose their home. Only the kids are too self-centered and self-destrctive to care. It's just sad. But at the same time, we live here too and it's only right that we should be able to drive the streets without having to worry about running someone down.

I don't remember being told that being a grown up was going to be about making sure your neighbor's kids are raised properly as well as raising your own children. I don't recall any clause to that effect when I signed on to this parenting gig 9 years ago. *sigh*

I'm not looking for perfection here. I'm looking for responsibility. I'm looking for decent parenting skills. I'm looking for some humanity. Is any of that really so much to ask for? Or are my expectations simply set to high? I mean, I get the whole "boys will be boys" or "just leave them alone, they're kids" mentality. However, at the same time, the kids need to have a basic understanding of respect. Respect for others. Respect for self. It's one thing to ride your bike down the biggest hill in your neighborhood at 12noon. It's something entirely different to ride your bike down that same hill at midnight while screaming at the top of your lungs, ya know? Or like while treasure hunting...the *only way* to get to that "uncharted plot of island" was through three or four different neighbors yards. You could get there. You could even cross through those yards to do it but that didn't mean you had to trample Mrs. Smith's prize roses to get there, you know?

Simple respect. Respect for every little thing. For other people, whether you like them or not. Whether you agree with their lifestyles or beliefs.

I just can't help but wonder when things went from respect based living, to gimme-gimme-mine -mine-mine based living snd how do we get back to the way things usued to be.

Ah...true love...

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