My Breastfeeding Badges of Honor

To my wife.......

2:24:00 AM Edit This 2 Comments »

Lizze,

I have been trying to figure out how to reach out and find you. I know you are going through something very profound. I can't and won't pretend to understand how you feel and where you are. I know you feel so many different emotions and I can see all the pain and fear in your eyes even though you try to hide it from the rest of the world. I wish there was something I could do to help carry this burdon. I feel absolutely helpless. I know how hard it is for you to trust anyone anymore and rightfully so. You have lost a great deal or rather a great deal has been taken from you. Over the years you have learned not to trust anyone. You have been forced to put a wall in order to survive.

I have found over the years that I am paying a price for what others have done. I was hurt because I thought that after 10 years and everything we have been through I shouldn't have to prove myself.. I'm sorry it took me so long to understand...But I get it now...

Lizze, I only saw the doors you still had closed and I missed all the ones you have opened for me. I'm so sorry I didn't see it sooner but I see it now...

I am writing this because if I try to say this it will never come out right. Sometimes speaking isn't enough. You know I prefer to talk but I think this is a better way for now.

I love you so much. I want to thank you for opening all the doors you have. I understand how hard that is to do. You once told me you have let me in farther then anyone else. At the time I didn't think it was enough.. I want you to know that I didn't understand then. I'm truly honored to be where I am even if there are still some closed doors.

I need you to understand that I am here and I believe in you. I know sometimes you are feeling your way through the dark but you aren't alone. I will be here even I just sit outside the door patiently waiting until your ready open it for me.. I think I will quit while I'm ahead.

I have been listening to this song for a while now and I think it says most of what I have been trying to say....I think it fits us pretty well... Especially the refrain....It's 4am now so I am hoping this will make sense....

I love you,

Rob

video



I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done

And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear


Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

Slower slower
We don't have time for that
All I want is to find an easier way
To get out of our little heads

Have heart my dear
We're bound to be afraid
Even if it's just for a few days
Making up for all this mess

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Six Word Saturday

8:52:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Insanity has found me again. Fuck!

Seriously, I've always had some strange "talent" for attracting crazy and insanity. Usually more crazy than insanity. Mostly stalkers. Some abusive exs. This time I've managed to get both insanity AND stalker. Clearly I haven't lost my touch. Yay, me. (That was sarcasm, btw. In case you're new to the blog.) Oh, and the best part? He's my cousin who I haven't seen or heard from in about 5years. Yeah...nice,huh?

Lizze
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Patiently

2:49:00 PM Posted In , , Edit This 0 Comments »

Maggie Sue, patiently awaiting the return of her one, true love; who just so happens to be my husband.
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Goofing off with a Terrorist

7:16:00 PM Posted In , , , , Edit This 0 Comments »

A good Terrorist is cute and unassuming. This one is all cleaned up and ready for bed.

Terrorists are leary of letting go and having fun, especially when there will be proof of it later. Like pictures for example.

Slow to trust at first, the spirit of the 3 year old finally won out over the Terrorist. :)

Just Elliott Richard and I goofing off a bit...letting off a bit of steam before bed. Sometimes it's great having a tiny 3 year old Terrorist in the house. Of course, there are still plenty of moments when I'd like to ship him off - like just now when his playing with the "tiny ball" (trackball on my blackberry Ruby - yes, I named her but she's a post all by herself) while I was typing this post which placed an entire sentence worth of letters scattered about the rest of the post. *sigh* Ah well, the fun definitely out weighes the other stuff. (lol)

Gotta run! My Terrorist is frantically waving "The Cat in the Hat" with an angry pout on his face. This could get ugly...

Lizze
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Ah...true love...

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