Cheerio Confessions

2010-09-04T08:43:00.001-04:00

Test

Moving on...

2010-03-28T11:35:00.000-04:00

Well, the time has come my friends, I'm moving my blog over to Wordpress. I will leave this blog up for another month or so before I officially shut it down. There are a few things I want to say though.

I hope that you will follow me over to Daily Mommy Survival but I understand if you don't. I just needed to move on. The plan when I began this blog was very different from what it has become. Just as what my blog is now is very different from what it morphed into after it's creation. It's just become time for me to move on and rename things. The content is the same family oriented content it's always been. Everything is really similar with a revamp and a new name at a new home. I just needed a blog that felt as if it included a little more me in the title and address since my blog truly is from my point-of-view about my daily survival in this crazy thing called life. =)

I thank each and everyone of you for being a friend and follower of Cheerio Confessions.

Bold Faced Liar Creative Writer Award

2010-03-17T11:01:00.000-04:00

My beautiful friend LaTree has blessed me with the ~~Bold Faced Liar~~ "Creative Writer" Blogger Award.

HERE ARE THE RULES OF THE AWARD

1.Thank the person who gave this to you. (Check!)

2. Copy the logo and place it on your blog. (Double check!)

3. Link to the person who nominated you. (Check!)

4. Tell us up to six outrageous lies about yourself, and at least one outrageous truth. (Outrageous truth? Okee doke...Check!)

5. Allow your readers to guess which one or more are true. (Please leave a comment! I'm curious to see who knows me the best.)

6. Nominate seven "Creative Writers" who might have fun coming up with outrageous lies. (Hhhhhhh....who should I pick?)

7. Post links to the seven blogs you nominate. (Check!)

8. Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know you nominated them. (Not a problem.)

Now let's see who can tell the difference between my Outrageous Lies and Outrageous Truths. =)

~*~ I didn't meet my sister until I was 25 years old.
~*~ I still haven't met my oldest sister.
~*~ I was once pulled over for driving 91mph in a 65mph zone.
~*~ I love the smell of "stinky baby feet", which belong to small children birth to 24 months.
~*~ Speaking of 65, I used to be able to type 65wpm.
~*~ My favorite candy treat is chocolate covered ants.
~*~ I search for freebies when I get really stressed out.
~*~ The act of writing is relaxing for me - even if it agrivates my arthritis in my hands.

Now that we've had some fun with Outrageous Lies and Truths, I am pleased to bestow this Creative award upon the following bloggers:

1. Merrilee at Liars and Frogs
2. Amanda at Morelli Chaos
3. Masto Mama at Masto Mama Chronicles
4. Ellyn at Profoundly Seth
5. Jennifer at BPD in OKC
6. Nikky at Pleasantly Chaotic
7. Susan at Adventures in Surrogacy

And now, having finished all of my duties that came with this award I am going to go and work on the massive post I have that will catch y'all up on what's been going on in the Cheerio household for the past month or so. =)

Failure to Launch

2010-02-07T22:26:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I had grand dreams of participating in February's Nablopomo. I had every intention of posting every day. Truly I did. It just wasn't meant to be.

For starters, Dr. T doubled my dose of Lyrica in an attempt to stop the raging fibro flares I was suffering through in their tracks. He was also hoping to prevent any future flares. So far, it seems to be helping, which means it's also knocking me out shortly after 9am, 3pm and 9pm for about 3 hours or so every day. Eventually, this will taper off until then posting is rather difficult because I have real life "Mommy" things to try and get done in those few short hours before my next dose. Blogging, unfortunately, just seems to fall to the side with all of the sleeping and Mommy-scrambling.

Had I known ahead of time that I would be doubling my dose I wouldn't have tried to take on Nablopomo this month. Oh well, lesson learned I suppose. Besides, there's always March, right? (lol)

The Bathroom Meme ~ Stolen from Jennifer at BPD in OKC

2010-02-03T17:02:00.001-05:00

1. What do you read when you are sitting on the toilet?
Whichever book I'm on in whichever series I'm stuck on and re-reading repeatedly.

2. Do you pee in the shower?
Uh...ew!

3. Do you always wash your hands after you use the toilet?
Yes, I do.

4. Do you allow someone to come into the bathroom while you are using the toilet?
Cleo is usually in there with me. Sometimes Elliott Richard or Emmett John will be in there with me, although Elliott Richard won't be permitted with me for much longer. Then Rob is in there with me when we're getting ready for bed at night. Yeah, after 3 kids you kind of lose your sense of privacy. (lol)

5. Do you clean your shower in the nude?
Nooooo...???

6. When you use the toilet at someone else's house do you go through their medicine cabinet and/or their bathroom cabinets and drawers?
No, I think about it but I'm always terrified that they will hear me opening the cabinet or drawers. So I leave them alone.

7. For the Men...Have you ever left the toilet seat up on purpose to irritate the woman in your life?
Last I checked, I was a woman so this doesn't apply to me.

8. For the Women...Have you ever fallen into the toilet because someone left the toilet seat up?
Yes, I have. The worst was when I was pregnant with Mr. Emmett John and I fell in at 3am. I was a seriously angry pregnant woman!

9. Do you courtesy flush?
Butt, of course. (lol) Ha ha ha, I made a funny.

10. Do you light a match or a candle or spray an air freshner when you are finished pooping?
Yes, I doo. (lol) That one was a total typo but still a funny one. =)

11. Have you ever fallen asleep on the toilet?
Again, I think I may have dozed off while pregnant with Mr. Emmett John.

12. What is the strangest thing you have ever flushed down the toilet?
I'd have to say tampons off the top of my head. There's just something about tampons that seems a little...odd to me. I don't know why. I know their purpose, obviously, since I use them monthly and all. They still strike me as odd and kind of freak me out. (lol)

I stole this from Jennifer over at BPD in OKC. I would say if you want to play along head over there and steal it from her but that's silly. Instead, I'll link you to the blog that she got it from Monday Mayhem. So head over there. Copy the questions. Answer them. And add yourself to Mr. Linky. =)

Enjoy! =)

3/28

Fibro Hell

2010-02-02T23:37:00.004-05:00

I've been on my Lyrica for quite a few months now with pretty good results. So I was hopeful. I was hopeful that we had a dose right off the bat that was going to work. I was hopeful that my days of sobbing and crying wishing for death because of a fibro flare were behind me. I was hopeful that maybe when I saw Dr. T later this month he would give me the OK to begin physical therapy, something he won't permit me to do until we have my pain under control for a while with medications. My hopes have been dashed.

For the past few weeks now I've been having a few minor flares here and there. Nothing major by any stretch of the imagination. Certainly nothing I needed extra medications to manage. I just needed to take things a little slower on those days. No big deal. Then there was this past week. I have felt as if I've been run over by a train of teamsters, beaten to a pulp by the best boxers known to mankind, set a flame and left a flame for no other reason than to watch me burn and finally my very badly abused and battered shell is taken and repeatedly crammed into a a very small space (like a coffee mug, or a play dough container, ice cream container etc).

I've been taking my medications but I don't think it's helping at this point. I think the ever colder temperatures and the added stress of Mr. Emmett John's hearing tests and possible hearing loss is just shoving me over the edge; past a point where the Lyrica at my current dose can help me.

Hopefully, Dr. T's office will call me back from the message I left yesterday and let me know what they think and want to try. Because I can't take many more days of collapsing onto the floor in tears and sobs while I ugly cry because I'm in so much pain.

2/28

February Nablopomo

2010-02-01T21:40:00.001-05:00

I have decided that for the month of February I will be partcipating in Nablopomo, National Blog Posting Month. It started out as only November was for Nablopomo but now, well, now any month can be a Nablopomo Month. =) Now I don't how long or insightful all of these posts will be but I'm definitely going to see if I can't post once a day for the whole month. (lol)

Here goes nothing... (1/28)

Oops!

2010-01-27T18:40:00.000-05:00

Things are looking a little crazy at the moment. The blog is in a bit of upheaval. Please excuse it all. It occured to me the other day as I was organizing my files that my photos of Rob and the boys were outdated. Well Elliott Richard's and Emmett John's were from Christmas time but honestly they were just placeholders until I could find some that I truely liked. You're all probably wondering who the heck "Henry James" is...I need to post about him. It's coming. With a few other posts I'm working on. For now, just know that things that appear off kilter but I'm working it. =)

What IS the language of Emmett John?!

2010-01-23T21:14:00.000-05:00

I took Mr. Emmett John to his Audiologist appointment on the 20th, whatever day that was. I can't remember anymore. You'd think I would remember that day. I feel like I should. I feel as if it should be etched into my brain forever:

Wednesday, January 20th, 2010 @ 3:00pm: Emmett John's world officially closed off forever.

Emmett doesn't like to have his ears messed with. Even to have them checked by Dr. H for a run of the mill ear infection I have to hold his hands down with one hand while I hold his head against my chest with the other hand. He hates it. So when she tried to put the little things in his ears to see if his eardrums even moved, forget it. The different and smaller little things to actually test whether or not he can hear sounds, not a snowballs chance. In stead she tried a rather crude method.

Emmett John sat on my lap with a little round tub of rubber beads to play with. The Audiologist Assistant (?) sat across from us to watch Emmett's face for startle reflexes and various reactions. The Audiologist left the walk-in-freezer...er sound-proof room and went on the other side of the little window. Then she began calling out to Emmett John through the speakers. She started at a whisper and increased her volume until she finished up screaming. He didn't flinch. He didn't move, startle. Nothing.

It took literally everything I had in me - everything good and bad and indifferent - to not react and accidentally tip him off.

Then when he wasn't responding at all. It took all those things not to tip him off and not to fall apart.

I was beyond devstated. My baby couldn't hear her. She moved on to the beeps because A) she has to and B) sometimes it seems as if he can hear loud, high-pitched cell phone ringtones. She began at a whisper and slowly increased the volume with the lower tones. Nothing doing. Then she switched to the high pitched tones. Again with the whisper slowly increasing the volume. Nothing doing. At one point she turned these monkey noise making toys on that sat in boxes above the speakers. He reacted to those and we all went wild. Then she said she wasn't comfortable marking that he reacted to the noise because he could have seen the lights out of the corners of his eyes.

My heart broke again.

In the end, she said that if Dr. H had not already been recommending the ABR she would insist upon it. His OAE had not shown any clear results expect that she felt comfortable saying that he is at least suffering from moderate hearing loss. She said that he cannot hear at 45 decibles, which is human voice. She then went on to explain that there is a very slim chance that he can hear at 65 decibles and above, which is a screaming human voice. However, she is absolutely comfortable saying that "he cannot hear at 45 decibles and suffers from at least moderate hearing loss".

I've been working on teaching myself basic American Sign Language with a website so that I can try and communicate with him in some way. He has to have something. I can't imagine what it must be like to not be able to hear anyone. Not be able to convey your needs to anyone. It's no wonder he's been walking about pinching and hitting and all out screaming for ages now. Rob and I spoke to Dr. H on Wednesday at Gavin's 10 year check-up and we also feel certain that nearly all the appointments where I drug Emmett John in to the office saying "He's fussy, won't sleep, just screams and pulls at his ears." he was pulling at his ears because he was likely losing his hearing and we didn't know it. If only I had followed my mother's instincts all those months ago! I wonder what may have turned out differently.

Anyhow I can't do anything about it now. What I can do, what I am doing is learning ASL so that I can communicate with Emmett John, at least until he picks it up as well. I'm not very good and I don't know very many signs. Emmett John seems tickled pink that he can understand though. He signed his first word the other night, Daddy, which was HUGE! I'm teaching Rob what I learn as I go along. I try and teach Gavin and Elliott Richard, too. Gavin wants to learn as much as I have to teach him. Elliott Richard flat out refuses to learn. He just keeps yelling at Emmett John in stead.

It seems that every time we start to find some semblance of normal around here...I don't know why we try.

We can't get in for his ABR test until March. Dr. H tried to convey to the lady that he would like Emmett John's case expedited. She got snippy and told him that the 25 children ahead of Emmett John would like their cases expedited as well but it doesn't work that way. Emmett John will just have to wait. Dr. H then asked that Emmett John be put on a cancelation list and she tried to make it sound all horrible - like I would decline because of short notice or something. Clearly she doesn't know me - well, obviously but you get my point. So now I have to wait for her to get off her high horse and call me with an appointment because she wouldn't make it with Dr. H's office because "that's not how I do things!" ARGH! Like things aren't complicated enough? I need a chick on a power trip?!

This whole situation is just making me sick. My fibro meds aren't nearly as effective any more. I'm having migraines all the time. It's just crazy. And because I'm the ASL one in the house right now, Emmett John is my shaddow. Never mind Henry, my new dog, whom you know nothing about, thinks that being supportive translates to being under foot where ever I go. Elliott Richard wakes up at 3am lately. Heck, even Emmett John has been waking up at 3am for some God awful reason! I don't know why he does it because unlike Elliott Richard, he's clearly not bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and ready to go. He's just a great big fuss pot looking to make my life a living Hell - totally uncool.

My Mom is actually worried that I'm going to snap under all of the stress I'm under right now. I'm not sure if I should feel flattered that she cares so much. Shocked because she's managed to see through my facade so quickly when I've known other far longer and they're still in the dark. Or offened because she seems to think me so fragile. (lol)

Oh well, that's all we know on the Emmett John front. I didn't intend for it to be so long. Sorry about that. Oh, and by the way, if I ever refer to him as MJ it's just a carry over from signing. We've found that MJ is easier for everyone to sign (especially quickly for some of us) than EJ. So just make a mental note: MJ = Emmett John. =)

Speaking the Language of Mr. Emmett John ~ Round 2

2010-01-19T17:11:00.000-05:00

I don't know where to begin.

Yesterday I took Mr. Emmett John for his 18 month well-baby check-up with Dr. H. Tomorrow I will take him to the Audiologist to have his hearing tested. Physically, he's doing well. He isn't sick. Motor skills are right on track. He's still channeling Jack-Jack, which is absolutely exhausting. I honestly don't know how he does it. One minute he's right next to you then he's gone and there are 6 of him everywhere! On the bright side, his constant movement doesn't seem to be having any effect on his growth...

The Stats

Head Circ: 48.8cm (75%)

Length: 35.25in (98%)

Weight: 26lb 1oz (41%)

I spoke with Dr. H about my growing concerns about Emmett John's lack of language. He doesn't talk, period. He babbles, which basically means he makes the noises that don't pertain to anything. For Emmett John, MaMa doesn't hold any signifigance for him towards me. Neither does DaDa, BaBa or any of the rest of them. He just says them.

He doesn't seem to hear us either. Our house is set up in a circle - front room (living room), hallway, kitchen, dinning room - all in a circle. The other night Emmett John was sitting on the couch in the front room and I snuck around so I was about 2 feet behind him then I clapped. I clapped so hard my hands instantly turned red and I moved Emmett John's hair. He didn't even move. He didn't startle, flinch or anything else. We call out to him from across the room and he doesn't respond. Loud noises, quiet noises...it doesn't matter because he doesn't seem to hear any of them. The only ones that he sometimes seems to hear are high pitched cell phones.

I mentioned his complete lack of a startle reflex to Dr. H when Emmett John was about 5 months old. At the time though, he had so many other things going on that we needed to figure out that it was lost in the shuffle. Plus his hearing test at the hospital when he was born so Dr. H felt that the "wait and see" approach was probably best. I allowed myself to be poo-pooed into silence and ignored my mother's instinct. Here we are 13 months later.

Tomorrow we are going to the Audiologist for his first hearing test, the OAE. It's the regular hearing test to see if he can hear at all. After that Dr. H has referred him to the local children's hospital for the sedation hearing test, the ABR. He is also referring us to Help Me Grow for early intervention. Help Me Grow will help us to get started with Speech Therapy, Sign Language classes so that we can communicate until we find out what is going on and even there after. He's also referring us to Gavin's Developmental Neurologist so that he can be evaluated for Autism.

Dr. H said that Autism is on the bottom of his possibilities list; however, with the family history via Gavin and the significant speech delay he wants to be sure that all of the bases are covered. That way if he does happen to be Autistic we have early intervention in place, whereas Gavin was unable to benefit from those services. I agree with Dr. H, I don't think that he's Autistic. I think he's deaf. However, I will feel better knowing. Especially if the hearing tests come out a-okay.

I'm not going to lie here guys, I'm terrified for my baby.

What's 1 more?

2010-01-13T12:27:00.000-05:00

Gavin has been a complete and total champ today. I wish I knew more about hearts. How they work. What a heart echo is *supposed* to look like. What a 12 lead EKG is *supposed* to look like. I wish I knew more about Marfan Syndrome. Does he really need another "Syndrome" on top of everything else?!?! How is that even fair?!?! I did some reading about Marfan Syndrome the other night. I stopped after reading that until recently the average life expectancy for a patient with Marfan's Syndrome was 32 years old. I wanted to run away when we told the nurse about the *Deme's genetic aortic dissections and the first thing she said was, "Ah, undiagnosed Marfan's Syndrome." *And she wrote it in his chart!!!* I don't want it in his chart! I don't want him to have another syndrome! So far today he's had an EKG and an Echocardiogram. I couldn't tell anything about about either test while they happened so everything looked bad and very horrible to me. So I stopped watching.
Elizabeth Gorski

"My heart's having a meltdown." (Also titled PLEASE PRAY!)

2010-01-13T09:54:00.000-05:00

We are on our way to the pediatric cardiologist with Gavin. We've recently learned that his biological paternal grandfather and his biological paternal aunt both passed away of dissecting aortic anueisms (sorry about the spelling and lack of links I'm on the road), which is genetic. Gavin's heart is already special because its flipped and I forget what's that called at the moment. So now we're on our way to pediatric cardiologist - who got us in today during a phone call Monday morning if that gives you any indication how serious this potentially could be.

Please pray.

PS The title is how Gavin describes his heart pain. I thought it was given the seriousness of the situation. I wanted to remember it.
Elizabeth Gorski

Tuesday Toot

2010-01-12T22:19:00.001-05:00

Two of Gavin's major doctor appointments down.

Of course, that's not saying anything about the rest of the month. Let's just not go there right now, shall we?

I'm done.

2010-01-12T14:42:00.000-05:00

I'm done being sick.
I'm done being the downfall of our household.
I'm done being the reason nothing gets done.
I'm done being the reason everything falls apart.
I'm done being treated disrespectfully.
I'm done listening to how my illness(s) are the reason nothing gets done.
I'm done getting yelled at for over-doing it.
I'm done getting yelled at for not helping.
I'm done being treated like a second class citizen in my own home.
I'm done.

How much is "too much"?

2010-01-12T14:40:00.000-05:00

I have always been a journal-er. I've had a diary since I was 8 years old. I'm not one to necessarily write every single day. There have been times when I have gone for weeks and even months without writing. The more my children seem to mulitply and the older they get, the more this holds true. I've said it before and I'll likely say it again, I prefer my pen and paper journals to the blog. I love the fact that the blog reaches people. Whereas my journals simply sit unread. At the same time I love that my journals sit unread. I love that they are written in my handwriting, which will help serve as a window into my thoughts should my boys ever decide to read them. I also love that no one reads my pen and paper journals. I can write whatever is going on and not have to worry about grammar or spelling or hurting feelings or being misunderstood. It's my space. Plain and simple. So my question is this: How much is too much?

There are some things going on at the moment. Some of you are aware of them. Most of you are not. (Thank you to those of you who have been a huge help during all of it.) If I am being honest with myself, part of me wants to blog about these things. Part of me does not.

Have you seen THIS boy?

2009-12-28T07:49:00.002-05:00

Well, what about THIS one?

Can you tell the difference between these two boys? =)

Here...allow me to help you.

The gorgeous little boy (Good observation there Jessica!) in the top two pictures is a happy diaper-wearing 3 year old.

The gorgeous little boy in the bottom two pictures (Despite the horrible quality of the pics.) is a happy potty trained, underpants wearing "Little Boy" 3 year old.

(The "Little Boy" is very important because it was apparently our tripping point on potty training.)

Six Word Saturday #12

2009-12-26T23:34:00.000-05:00

Remember when "things" were much easier?

Well, Christmas has officially come and gone. There are now...what, 364 days to Christmas 2010. Or something like that. Thank God! No offense to Jesus or Mary or anything but I'm telling you what...every year the Holidays get more difficult to survive.

I had everything planned out this year. I was going to start preparing just after Halloween so that I wasn't running around like a chicken with my head cut off come Christmas Eve. It didn't work. I didn't get any of the gifts made that I wanted to. I didn't get the kids all figured out etc so I could help them create their gifts for everyone. My Mom was the only one who's gift was completely finished in time to give to her. And I was running around up until 30 seconds before she came in the door to get that wrapped etc.

But it's not just the prep work. Or the decorating, which I can't even manage to find a way to get done anymore. It's all of it. It all seems so complicated. Now don't get me wrong here, I'm not a Scrooge by any means. I just noticed this is all.

Take toys for example. You have the gifts that Gavin and Elliott Richard received, which were taped in and twist-tied in. Am I the only one who thinks this is complete and total overkill? But I digress...their gifts are protected with the strength that I thought only Fort Knox could offer. Then you have Mr. Emmett John's gifts. Most of his gifts were what I affectionately call "Old School" toys. He received the pull behind telephone, the shape block sorter and the little "bed bug bopper". None of those were taped or twist-tied. You opened the box and pulled them out. End of story.

Heck even if you compare video games! When I was a kid, the Nintendo was the "in thing". Everyone either had one, knew someone who did and/or wanted one so badly they could almost taste it. True, by today's standards the graphics are horrid. However, the controls were easy and straight forward. Up was up. Down was down. You get the idea. Nothing was overly complicated. Now there are 3 different major systems with beautiful graphics in their own right. Each specializes in a different type of game genre. And each seems to have their own unique way of making the controls complicated.

Sorry to be all doom and gloom, I'm just over-whelmed from all the running and buying and wrapping and the going and visiting and whatnot. I still think it holds true though - things have gotten far to complicated over the years. At times, I really do feel that it's almost complicated simply for the sake of being complicated. But that's just me. =)

Aside from taped and twist-tied to death new toys (more pictures to come tomorrow), the Cheerios are doing well. We are exhausted and well-fed. We had a blast with family. And now we are all attempting to recover. Except the boys seem perfectly content to stay hyper and completely bouncing-off-the-walls. (lol) Our Christmas was beautiful and everything a Christmas should be. And we hope that you and yours had a very Merry Christmas!

Cheerio Family Christmas 2009

2009-12-26T23:00:00.000-05:00

Christmas Morning 9:00 am

After Gavin and Elliott Richard work us up for presents, we got ready and went to Grandma and PaPa's for Christmas Breakfast. Here's some of the family hanging out, drinking coffee and chilling while breakfast is finished up. (FYI we ate 45 eggs!!!!! OMG)

And of course, what is any picture montage without group picture of my Baby Boys - Daddy (not a Baby Boy), Elliott Richard and Emmett John. Emmett John had lost his patience for waiting for the 45 eggs by this point. (lol)

Presents!

After we after a huge breakfast prepared by PaPa and Aunt Kate, which was absolutely delicious! Then the guys did the dishes so Grandma wouldn't because she had to be at work at Noon. Once we were fed and cleaned up, it was time for presents!!!! =) lol

I took this picture of the bow on Jenna's gift because it was just the most adorable bow I have ever seen! Grandma made it herself too. And she says I'm creative. Pfth.

Family...ah who am I kidding...MORE PRESENTS! =)

Here's Mr. Gavin opening one of his gifts. He's always so serious. =) But even with very little sleep and so much going, he did really well.

Family Time

Elliott Richard loves this Pokemon game that Grandma and PaPa got him. There are little marbles and Pokemon cards. You shoot the marbles and they hit these triggers which causes the cards to *pop* up. Anyway, he adores it and Grandma was brave enough to play a few rounds the "Elliott way". Gavin was just kind of chilling and watching.

Relaxing

Here's Aunt Jenn kicking back and reading her gift, The Postcard Secret book. (Or whatever it's called...I'm too tired to go looking for it.)

Passing Out

After breakfast we all went our own ways for a bit, then we met back up at Aunt Carol & Uncle Rick's house for lunch/dinner (so what is that called? Linner?). It was huge and delicious - turkey, cheesey potatoes, brocolli cheddar rice casserole, salad, stuffing, ham and a whole bunch more. It was so, so, SO good! Some of us wished we could pass out afterwards with full bellies surrounded by family. Then there were a few of us, *cough* Kate *cough*, who did. (lol)

Christmas 2009 at Home in photos

2009-12-26T20:54:00.000-05:00

Just a quick Christmas 2009 at Home recap in photos...okay, sadly these are the only photos I took with my cell phone. The rest are on my camera and I haven't had the chance to pull them over yet. Thoes will come tomorrow. =)

Elliott Richard and Emmett John just after we decorated the tree.

(If you look carefully you can see that we only used candy canes to decorate this year. That way if they fell off and broke there wasn't any harm done; we could just eat the carnage. =) Also if you look again, you'll notice that the candy canes only cover the top half because I was trying (in vain) to keep Emmett John from stealing candy canes.)

Our sad little yellow "golden star" on top of our tree.

Elliott Richard kept asking so sweetly for a "golden star" to put on the top of our tree. Unfortunately, the ecomony being in the lovely state that it is we just couldn't get one this year. So I made one...sort of. I made this one, which isn't gold and it fell apart the day after I took this picture because the glue gave way. No matter. For a day or so, I was able to give Elliott Richard the star he wanted. =)

Tuesday Toot

2009-12-15T15:48:00.000-05:00

My Christmas shopping is finished.

Okay, at least as far as the Boys are concerned. I might have a few things for others left to pick up. But the main things are done. Now the gifts that need created by the Boys, yeah, let's not go there shall we? (lol)

Speaking the language of Emmett John

2009-12-15T09:34:00.004-05:00

I can't believe Emmett John is 17 months old now. Time is going by way too fast for me. Geez, in 11 days he'll be 18 months old. I can't believe everything that has changed with him. Everything he's been up to.

His nickname has taken some interesting and unexpected turns. What used to be small and cutsie and bug based, is no more. (lol) Although I'm not sure why I'm so surprised. If you remember I went through the evolution of my Boys nicknames a while ago and it's crazy what happens. Mr. Emmett John now goes by either Jack-Jack or Indy, which is short for Indiana Jones because he tends to get into/find dangerous and troublesome situations. Jack-Jack is from the Disney/Pixsar movie "The Incredibles". And just for the record, dangerous and troublesome are entirely accurate descriptions.

(Okay, so while I absolutely adore my layout but it isn't exactly the widest layout ever in existance. If you really need to have the "volume control". Or the option for "full screen". Or the entire *waves hands frantically in the air* RIGHT SIDE OF THE CLIP! Then fine! Just double clip the movie or click RIGHT HERE to watch it on YouTube. If you really want to be that way.)

Anyway, moving right along. (lol)

Since I've brought up his dangerous and troublesome activities, I feel I should let you in on his new "Kid Tricks". Which aren't nearly as dangerous as the actual Jack-Jack, by the way. Let's see...what our Jack-Jack's been up to lately? He runs and sometimes I swear there are more than one of him (hense the "Jack-Jack" nickname) because one second he's climbing the back of the couch - like the flat back, not the cushion to back. But then as soon as he's there, he's on the stairs and then *BOOM* as up the stairs and down again. Then *BOOM* he's pushing Elliott Richard on a push toy. It all seems to happen within seconds and I swear there are more than one of him and they all move at super-human speeds!

He loves to play "tag". He'll play with just about anyone. With Maggie Sue. With Elliott Richard. With Rob or I. The catch is that most of the time we aren't playing. In fact, Maggie usually doesn;t even realize that she's playing tag. (lol) Basically, he chases her from the living room to the dinning room. Once there he "sqees" and runs away! Maggie hears him "sqee" and assumes something must be wrong, so she follows in hot persuit. And so goes the game of "tag" according to Emmett John.

The other "kid trick" he does that I just love, is when he point to you and runs. Every once in a while he will stand up and look around trying to decide who he wants to be held by. Once he decides, he'll point both index fingers at them "horns of a bull" style and run as fast as he can at that person with a huge grin on his face. I just love it. (lol)

I know I'm a horrible slacker mother right now. I'm not keeping up with what the kids are doing. For the most part, Emmett John is right on track. For the most part. There is just that one little thing. That one nagging little bit. Well, okay maybe it's a big bit. I can't decide.

He doesn't talk.

My gut. My mother's intuition. My inner-me. The inner-mommy. They all say that this is a Big, Huge, Waving, Warning, Look-at-Me Red Flag. Then I have well-meaning family members who tell me that Uncle Rick didn't say his first word until he was 2 and 1/2 years old. Uncle Rick is a wonderful, very intelligent man. He's one of my favorite uncles. Heck, he's Elliott Richard's Godfather so clearly he isn't a slouch in my book. And no disrespect to Grandma Gene but Uncle Rick isn't my Emmett John. I wasn't her. I don't know what her inner-mommy was telling her. I only know what my inner-mommy is telling me.

Problem is that even Dr. H is on the "everything will eventually be okay" train. First, he said "if he doesn't talk by 15 months then we'll worry". But Emmett John technically talked by 15 months. He said 2 different words. He said "cookie" maybe 5 times and "cracker" 1 time. He's never said those words again. He understands when we talk to him. He doesn't talk back. You can see he's clearly frustrated. Our faces bear the marks of his frustration. He's a pincher. Yesterday, he and Elliott Richard were standing at the baby gated enterance to the kitchen talking to me while I made snack. Well, Elliott Richard was talking. Emmett John wanted to talk. You could literally see it in his face but he couldn't get it out. Finally, he became so frustrated with the whole situation that he screamed and reached out and pinched Elliott Richard's face all in one swift move. It breaks my heart!

Now don't get me wrong he communicates some. He babbles. He makes what I call "pitch noises", which is where he does like the Tim Allen in "Home Improvement" guy "Arrrooo" thing at different pitches. So it isn't that he's mute because he isn't. He just doesn't speak in words or sentences. We've also heard that it could be because he's the youngest, perhaps we are speaking for him so he doesn't need to speak. We don't and he does. At times Elliott Richard will say, "Emmett John says..." and finish the sentence with some silly little 3 year old hilarity but very rarely to we actually speak for him.

In an attempt to communicate with him, some how I've been trying to teach him Baby American Sign Language. I only know a few words right now. But it's a start. I'm hoping that it will help Emmett John once he learns the signs for himself and he is finally able to tell us what he needs or wants. He "said/signed" his first word yesterday though, which was a pretty big deal around here. He signed "Daddy" to Rob. Then I asked him if he wanted to "sleep with Daddy" or "movie with Mommy" and he went with me. He went to the living room. Now when we sign to him, we say verbally what we are signing so he puts 2 and 2 together. In my experience, and it may just be wishful thinking, he seems to understand the conversations better this way. Only time will tell, I suppose.

I just hope he is able to finally find a way to communicate so he isn't frustrated any longer. It is one of the saddest things in the world to see your baby struggle that way. Knowing he has something to say. Seeing that he is trying so hard to say that and getting so stuck that he ends up striking out in anger when he can't. Something has to change for him very soon before this mama gets angry and starts to lay the smack down.

If Comments could talk, what would they ask Santa for Christmas?

2009-12-14T16:29:00.000-05:00

Wow. I'm not sure if I should feel flattered or irritated. Given my present state of mind, I feel irritated. Although deep down, I really feel flattered. (So take that you comment bots!) Anywho, I've had a few comments lately to this effect:

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Thursday, December 10, 2009 12:22:00 PM EST

And since I just received another one I'm going to have to do something. I just need to decide what that something is.

Any advice? (From someone other than the spammers.)

I Don't Wednesday ~ #6 KetZchup

2009-12-09T17:06:00.005-05:00

Its been a while since I've posted (sorry about that) but I felt like posting an "I Don't - Wednesday" today...and away we go!

I Don't Wednesday #6: KetZchup

I Don't ... Know why I haven't posted in so long.

I've started ketZchup posts but they are all so long and unfinished and the longer it takes me to finish them - the more behind I become. I hate being behind like this. So they are still waiting to be finished.

I Don't ... Know why I don't just start from the here and now.

You know...Say, screw the postS waiting to be finished and move on. To Hell with those damn wanna-be posts!

I Don't ... Know why I just wrote that "I Don't" because I do know.

I Don't ... move on because for starters, I'm suffering from some serious OCD. Secondly, someday I will publish this blog. Someday it will be added to the other journals I have that chronicle my life. And to cut those things out would be to remove large sections of my life.
As it is, I'm already not blogging HUGE, GINORMOUS parts of my life over the past 3 to 6 months because it has been made quite clear to me that if I chronicle those happenings:

A) I would be using MY BLOG against others. You know, because that's why I started it. Revenge. Spite. Viva la Revolution! And all that jazz. *insert eye roll here*
B) I would be hiding behind MY BLOG even though the thoughts, feelings, expressions, etc that are/have been/would be covered (if I were to cover said taboo topics) have already been shared privately (via emails and a very few phone calls) with the parties involved. So I'm not hiding behind anything. But whatever.
C) I would be discussing other people's lives and that isn't right. Nor is it fair.
Now I have not had a single complaint about my blog from people - except for a few loons who felt that I was being unkind to my dead-beat-dad exhusband once upon a time. So I stand corrected - by myself - that I have had a few complaints over that past 2 years or so. That being said, in case it has escaped anyone, I tend to discuss other people's lives on a pretty regular basis - when I can find time to blog that is. I discuss my own and those of my family (ie Rob, husband; Gavin, 9 year old son; Elliott Richard, 3 year old son; Emmett John, 17 month old son; Maggie Sue, nanny-dog; Cleo, cat). I discuss my sister, Trisha, my Mom, Mary. (See Mom, I'm posting again. lol) I discuss quite a few people. Yet no one else is screaming unfair. But don't worry ... I think I have come up with a way to discuss what I want without further pissing anyone else off. Hhhhhhmmmm........I'll have to think about that some more.

Anyway, I digress.

I Don't ... Believe how quickly the month of December is flying by!

I had it all planned out so that the boys could do our usual traditions - make ornaments, make Christmas gifts for Grandma & PaPa and now for Grandma Mary (who they are beyong super excited to include to the traditions this year!) etc. Plus there are Godparents to consider. Then while I get the gifts together for the 3 boys. I'm also putting together a group gift for the boys. Plus a few surprises. I've had it all figured out, planned out and ready to go on paper since mid-October.

I was so sure I had it all figured out. Then I forgot to take my Lyrica for 1 flipping day! Which has thrown me off by like 3 days! So I'm back to not being able to drive again; so unhelpful right now!

I Don't ... Know how to care for Gavin effectively all the time.

Sometimes its a breeze. Sometimes I see the damage others have done to him before the legal system finally got a clue. Before I finally got a clue. Sometimes that damage is more than I can deal with and I know that they knew what they were doing - whether they deny it now or not. Sometimes I wish for the chance to interrogate them about it, with the chance to only get honest answers and then smack them all silly in the end. Sometimes I wish for a winning Lotto ticket, too. None of those things is going to happen.

I Don't ... Know how to raise Gavin his way.

Elliott Richard his way. Emmett John his way. Without making any of them feel singled out. Without damaging any of them.

I Don't ... Know how to survive anymore.

Surviving is usually the only thing I know to do. It comes naturally. After a lifetime of various rings of my own personal hell. Surviving is as natural to me as breathing. Lately, I can't seem to remember how.

To my wife.......

2009-11-22T02:24:00.006-05:00

Lizze,

I have been trying to figure out how to reach out and find you. I know you are going through something very profound. I can't and won't pretend to understand how you feel and where you are. I know you feel so many different emotions and I can see all the pain and fear in your eyes even though you try to hide it from the rest of the world. I wish there was something I could do to help carry this burdon. I feel absolutely helpless. I know how hard it is for you to trust anyone anymore and rightfully so. You have lost a great deal or rather a great deal has been taken from you. Over the years you have learned not to trust anyone. You have been forced to put a wall in order to survive.

I have found over the years that I am paying a price for what others have done. I was hurt because I thought that after 10 years and everything we have been through I shouldn't have to prove myself.. I'm sorry it took me so long to understand...But I get it now...

Lizze, I only saw the doors you still had closed and I missed all the ones you have opened for me. I'm so sorry I didn't see it sooner but I see it now...

I am writing this because if I try to say this it will never come out right. Sometimes speaking isn't enough. You know I prefer to talk but I think this is a better way for now.

I love you so much. I want to thank you for opening all the doors you have. I understand how hard that is to do. You once told me you have let me in farther then anyone else. At the time I didn't think it was enough.. I want you to know that I didn't understand then. I'm truly honored to be where I am even if there are still some closed doors.

I need you to understand that I am here and I believe in you. I know sometimes you are feeling your way through the dark but you aren't alone. I will be here even I just sit outside the door patiently waiting until your ready open it for me.. I think I will quit while I'm ahead.

I have been listening to this song for a while now and I think it says most of what I have been trying to say....I think it fits us pretty well... Especially the refrain....It's 4am now so I am hoping this will make sense....

I love you,

Rob

I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done

And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

Slower slower
We don't have time for that
All I want is to find an easier way
To get out of our little heads

Have heart my dear
We're bound to be afraid
Even if it's just for a few days
Making up for all this mess

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Six Word Saturday

2009-11-21T08:52:00.000-05:00

Insanity has found me again. Fuck!

Seriously, I've always had some strange "talent" for attracting crazy and insanity. Usually more crazy than insanity. Mostly stalkers. Some abusive exs. This time I've managed to get both insanity AND stalker. Clearly I haven't lost my touch. Yay, me. (That was sarcasm, btw. In case you're new to the blog.) Oh, and the best part? He's my cousin who I haven't seen or heard from in about 5years. Yeah...nice,huh?

Lizze
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Patiently

2009-11-20T14:49:00.001-05:00

Maggie Sue, patiently awaiting the return of her one, true love; who just so happens to be my husband.

Goofing off with a Terrorist

2009-11-18T19:16:00.002-05:00

A good Terrorist is cute and unassuming. This one is all cleaned up and ready for bed.

Terrorists are leary of letting go and having fun, especially when there will be proof of it later. Like pictures for example.

Slow to trust at first, the spirit of the 3 year old finally won out over the Terrorist. :)

Just Elliott Richard and I goofing off a bit...letting off a bit of steam before bed. Sometimes it's great having a tiny 3 year old Terrorist in the house. Of course, there are still plenty of moments when I'd like to ship him off - like just now when his playing with the "tiny ball" (trackball on my blackberry Ruby - yes, I named her but she's a post all by herself) while I was typing this post which placed an entire sentence worth of letters scattered about the rest of the post. *sigh* Ah well, the fun definitely out weighes the other stuff. (lol)

Gotta run! My Terrorist is frantically waving "The Cat in the Hat" with an angry pout on his face. This could get ugly...

Lizze
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Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Please forgive me

2009-10-30T13:38:00.003-04:00

I have been putting a "water mark" via Photobucket on my photos - both new and old. I am trying to keep these from taking too much away from the pictures themselves; however, at the same time I am trying to make it so that the pictures cannot be copied from my blog and printed out for personal use.

Again, I'm sorry for the generic nature of my "water mark". I will see what I can do to make it more professional and less intrusive in the future. For now, I have to work with what I have.

Thank you for the understanding! :)

Tuesday Toot

2009-10-27T20:32:00.003-04:00

Today, I survived 24 hours Savella-free; which led to me spending the day feeling like I had been set on fire.

Tonight, I start my Lyrica. I pray that it's a "wonder drug" like Dr. T hopes it will be.

Six Word Saturday #11

2009-10-24T00:00:00.007-04:00

Gavin celebrated 1st Gotcha Day Anniversary!

Saturday 9 #6 ~ Jealousy

2009-10-24T00:00:00.006-04:00

Saturday 9: Hey Jealousy

1. Tell us a story when you got jealous. I hate to disappoint you but I'm not the jealous type. Just ask Rob; it drives him crazy.

2. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? My past and the effects it has on me. I hate feeling like a different person, or less than a person, or an incomplete person because of what I've been through and what I've survived. I wish I'd never been through anything at all. I wish there had never been any trauma to survive.

3. Who do you mess with the most? My hubby, Rob. My sista, Trisha. - for fun
Myself, the head games I play with myself are by far the cruelest.

4. Do you have any special talents? What are they? Some say I'm a good writer. Others say I'm an okay artist. Pretty much anything creative seems to be my "thing". If you ask me, I guess my "talent" is surviving. Most shrinks agree that not a lot of people could survive my life.

5. If you could have a secret fling that no one would ever find out about, would you? Nope. It's wrong but if that isn't reason enough for you...See #3.

6. What's the furthest you've been from home? Florida and Texas.

7. How many Saturday 9 player's blogs do you typically visit? I try to visit each and every one of them - unless the link is broken. I only comment when the mood strikes me though.

8. Some great bloggers lose their "mojo" and quit blogging. Could you see that happening to you? I go through phases. Sometimes I blog multiple times a day and it still doesn't feel like enough. Other times it feels like too much to blog once a month or when something major happens. So I just roll with the punches and go where the wind takes me. That way I don't get completely burnt out and give it up altogether because blogging is important to me. I blog to keep a record of our lives for my boys since I can't really write very much anymore.

9. What's the biggest mistake you've made so far this year? Honestly, I've made too many to listen them all. Let's go with...not keeping appointments when I should have. Not speaking up when I should have. Not pushing for what my sons needed. Not taking better care of myself. Yeah, that'll do.

Small Talk Six #4 ~ 6 things (good or bad) that you credit your mother-in-law for

2009-10-24T00:00:00.005-04:00

Today's Small Talk Six is:

6 Things (Good or Bad) That You Credit Your Mother-In-Law For

1.) Rob. Does he have flaws? Absolutely. So do I. But he is a wonderful man, husband and father due in no small part to how she and Dad G raised him.

2.) A large chunk of what little sanity I have left. She's watched the boys for free - more often than not on a moments notice - so that I could go see my therapists over the last decade. Thanks to her whatever sanity I have left is due to her generosity.

3.) A lot of the inspiration and motivation I have to create my greeting cards. When the mood does strike, it's mostly thanks to her and Rob that I am able to do anything about it. A lot of my supplies were her's at one point. My magazines and such came from her as well. She's always been very supportive without being pushy of my creativity.

4.) The health and in part, the existance of Elliott Richard and Emmett John. Not because of Rob. When I was pregnant with both boys, she helped take care of Gavin and then both Gavin and Elliott Richard. She helped take care of me. She helped in so many ways that without her it would have been so much more difficult to have made it to the end.

5.) Two words: free babysitting. Yup, it's the one thing that no all grandparents do and/or believe in. But Grandma G loves it and helps out with it whenever she can. It's a Godsend and has helped us out of a jam - especially at the last minute - more times than I can count.

6.) Love, compassion and understanding. She gets me, which isn't something a whole lot of people can say. She knows that I like my privacy. She can tell when I'm having a bad fibro day better than just about anyone. She remember what foods I like, which I don't. My favorite drinks. It's like I've been her daughter forever; not just 8 and 1/2 years. She is one of the best people I've ever had the honor to know and I love her.

(Between you and me World Wide Web, I may have been robbed the first time around, but I won the Mother-in-Law Lottery this time!)

If you would like to join in the fun of the Small Talk Six just head on over to Momdot.com and grab the topic and the graphic. Enjoy! :)

Friday Fill-In #5

2009-10-23T15:35:00.004-04:00

And...here we go!

1. The crickets sing, me to sleep on chilly fall nights.

2. Be true to yourself wherever you are, in whatever you say and whatever you do.

3. I want to get far away from the insanity and drama that seems to find me.

4. Every day of Fall, I wake up in pain; someone please, tell me this was a ~~dream~~ nightmare.

5. But as for me I choose Edward, Twilight and OME.

6. As for me, I come from a place few have been to and no one understands.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to hanging out with Rob and Trisha, tomorrow my plans include sleep and recovery and Sunday, I want to take the boys trick or treating!

I Don't Wednesday #5 Food

2009-10-21T00:00:00.002-04:00

I Don't Wednesday #5: Foods I Don't Eat

I don't ... eat liver and onions. I know I tried it once and it didn't taste horrible. It's just the idea more than anything else. Ick.

I don't ... eat peanut butter. A peanut butter and jelly sandwich will cross my lips only very rarely. I do eat Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, especially during the holidays because they always taste better then. But peanut butter is gross. There is just something about it...the smell, the texture. No thanks.

I don't ... eat Burger King. I don't know what it is about their food but I don't like it. It smells good from a distance. The closer I get; the worse it smells. I just won't eat it.

I don't ... eat cookie dough ice cream. Cookie dough alone? Yes. Ice cream of just about any other flavor (within reason)? Yes. That particular flavor? No. It spells complete sugar overload for me. I can't stomach it. I'm getting queazy just thinking about it.

I don't ... eat spaghetti with sauce. When I was pregnant with Elliott Richard, pasta with sauce was one of (if not the big) my food aversions and it just carried over. Now I struggle to be in the house when Rob makes it for dinner for everyone else. It just turns my stomach. I used to be able to eat at least pasta prepared different ways without the red sauce; not anymore. I can't even eat that since my pregnancy with Emmett John.

I don't ... eat chicken noodle soup. Campbell's chicken noodle soup is okay. But honestly, even that is pushing it. Rob loves chicken noodle soup, especially homemade chicken noodle soup. So he makes it quite a bit and when he makes it; he makes a lot of it. But I just can't eat it.

Ketchup

2009-10-18T00:30:00.003-04:00

As soon as I can figure out how to make the graphic I want with the very limited graphic programs at my disposal, I will have these really cute graphics to go with a new thing I'm adding to the blog. It will be the "Ketchup" where I catch you up on whatever the topic is. Haha Isn't that cute? I thought it was. I just can't get the graphics I want made, which is frustrating me. However, I realized that I haven't posted an actual update in weeks so I guess I'll have to get started without my cute little graphics. :(

But that will have to wait until tomorrow because it's 12:36 am now and I need to go to sleep...soon. First, I need to finish some blog rounds. Nighty night all.

2009-10-17T15:11:00.005-04:00

Saturday 9: Inside Job

1. When you were young, what did you want to be when you grew up? It would have been better - at least in my case - to phrase this question as "When you were young, what didn't you want to be when you grew up" but since it wasn't worded that way; I'll answer it the way it was worded. I wanted to be a piano teacher, a doctor, a lawyer, a writer. There were actually very few things I didn't want to be. Oh and of course, a mother - that was the first one I can remember wanting to be.

2. Did you ever pursue that career? A mother, yes. Piano teacher, nope. I quit piano lessons after 1 year. Doctor and laywer, nope. Although just recently I was able to add freelance writer to my list of yes, which is very cool for me. :)

3. If you are not in that field, what changed? I opted to go the motherhood route first, which made studying the other fields more difficult. Not impossible true but definitely more difficult; plus with everything else I had going on with my first marriage and then seperation etc. Yeah, there really wasn't time.

4. What is your current job? Mother of three. Wife of one. Freelance writer. Greeting card creator when it's needed.

5. What's the best part of what you do? Mother of three: Watching my boys grow into individuals - each with their own likes and dislikes and wonderfully unique personalities. Wife of one: Knowing that I will get to spend the rest of my life with someone that I can grow old with and love. Someone who loves and respects me, for me. He doesn't try to control or abuse me. He simply loves me for who I am, not who he expects me to be. Freelance writer: Writing is a huge part of who I am. It's a part of my soul. It's been a desire of mine to be a writer for as long as I can remember. Greeting card creator: I get to be creative.

6. Do you have plans to do something else down the road? If something else presents itself along the road that looks appealing or that I have always wanted to do; I'll look into it. You never know. For now, I'm happy with my careers/jobs.

7. How did you get your present job? If you are a stay at home mom, how long did you need to plan that move? I'm a stay-at-home/work-at-home mom. I became at stay-at-home mom in 2003 after I lost my student worker job when I left college. It made more sense for me to stay home with Gavin than to work because I would be working just to pay for child care so I could work. I've been a stay-at-home mom ever since. I became a work-at-home mom first when I started making greeting cards in 2006. Then I added to it with my freelance writing job at Examiner.com this summer.

8. Did your parents influence your choices of jobs over the years? Nope, not in the least. Even when I was looking for my first job at 15-16 years old, my high school boyfriend Jay drove me to pick up applications and to interviews. They drove me to work once I had the jobs but I chose the places to apply and whatnot. I pretty much marched to my own drummer.

9. What advice would you give your children on careers? I want my boys to do whatever makes them happy. If working at the Circle K makes them happy and allows them to make enough to live off of, then more power to them. If they would like to go to college and become something else; that is obviously fantastic too. I will support them (emotionally) either way. Financially, I'm only supporting them for so long. I'm not the First National Bank of Mom here, ya know? ;) lol

Six Word Saturday #10

2009-10-17T14:49:00.004-04:00

I love Fall. It hates me.

Small Talk Six #3 ~ 6 of your favorite sweet treats in the whole world

2009-10-17T00:00:00.004-04:00

Today's Small Talk Six is:

6 of Your Favorite Sweet Treats in the Whole World

1.) Cheesecake. Hands down. I mean honestly do I need to remind you of this post, or this one or this one or even this one here? Because I will. If that's what it takes. I'm just saying.

2.) Chocolate. I am the original choco-holic. When I was about 13 or 14 years old I had a therapist that decided/determined in a very unscientific manner that I was allergic to chocolate. I decided that she was a quack and refused to go back. Like giving up chocolate was a viable option. HA!

3.) Chocolate Peanut Butter Ice Cream. I'm still trying to understand how some of you have not yet had this wonderful dessert. It's just not right I tell you.

4.) Southern Sweet Tea. It's like standard sweet tea on steroids. So just like much of the South it's bigger and bolder. The tea is darker. The sweet is sweeter. It's great.

5.) Danish Puff. How I went through the first 20 years of my life without knowing the wonder that is Danish Puff...well, it just isn't right. Every Holiday Season Dad G makes Danish Puff. I think it's a Slovak tradition made of sugar and spice and wonderful fluffy things. Once they are all mixed together it's light and airy and amazing. Every year I try and convince him that I need 1 or 2 or 10 just me but he just laughs and hands me 1 to share (*sigh*) with my family.

6.) Cake. I'm not picky on this one. Ice cream cake. Wedding cake. Birthday cake. Chocolate cake. Devil's food cake. Cake is cake and all cake is good. Dang it, now I want cake. Hhhhhhmmmm...how to convince Rob that I need cake?

If you would like to join in the fun of the Small Talk Six just head on over to Momdot.com and grab the topic and the graphic. Enjoy! :)

Thursday 13 ~ 13 Things for the Future I'm Hoping For

2009-10-15T20:00:00.001-04:00

1.) I'm hoping for a day in the future ... when my daily and/or weekly dose of drama will be limited to "Mom, he won't share that toy!" or one of my neighbors getting drunk and running her mouth.

2.) I'm hoping for a day in the future ... when Emmett John will not be a medical mystery. He will not have any specialists and will only need to see Dr. H for well baby visits and the occasional sick visits.

3.) I'm hoping for a day in the future ... when I can write what I want, when I want on my blog and not worry about who is reading it.

4.) I'm hoping for a day in the future ... when I can pay my balance off to John (my attorney) and not have someone (who shall remain nameless - we all know who though) file something else. At which point, my balance will return again because John has to prepare to fight, again. It gets old.

5.) I'm hoping for a day in the future ... when Elliott Richard will decided that he no longer "likes to be pee-pee soaped" and he wants to use the potty. Then we will only have Mr. Emmett John to put in diapers. And we will also be able to put Elliott Richard into pre-school, which I know he would love.

6.) I'm hoping for a day in the future ... when Dr. T is able to find a medication or combination of medications that works to not only keep the pain from getting worse but also lessen it to some extent. That would be amazing.

7.) I'm hoping for a day in the future ... when the boys could spend the night away from home - some with their Aunt Trisha and Uncle John and some with their Grandma and Pa-Pa G - so that Rob and I can get away from home for a weekend. We haven't been away from home (hospital/NICU stays so do not count) since our first wedding anniversary, which was Thursday September 3, 2004 if your curious.

8.) I'm hoping for a day in the future ... when I am secure enough in myself as an artist and a woman that I can sit and loose myself in my art and not be weighed down by thoughts of "It's not good enough" or "It's not perfect" or "Crap! It's all crap"...you get the general idea. I want to just get lost in my art and not care what anyone thinks; including myself.

9.) I'm hoping for a day in the future ... when I don't need a therapist anymore. A day when I've put all the horrific pieces of the puzzle that is my life back together. The pieces I've carried with me for the past 20+ years. The pieces I've fought to hide out of shame for things I didn't do. The pieces I only see in nightmarish flashbacks when I sleep. Someday I'll have them all put together and I won't be haunted anymore.

10.) I'm hoping for a day in the future ... when Rob and I have managed to survive the Terrorist 3's. I'm also hoping for that same day in the future ... when all three boys have also managed to survive the Terrorist 3's. (Whoever dubbed them the "Terrible 3's" was clearly either on crack, had never raised a child of their own or had been blessed with one of those rare children that didn't become a Terrorist between the ages of 2 and 1/2 and oh say 9 - since Gavin is still a Terrorist at times and I don't know when it will wear off.)

11.) I'm hoping for a day in the future ... when we are able to set up a routine and get into a groove and the slightest little thing doesn't throw everything out of whack.

12.) I'm hoping for a day in the future ... when my boys will grow up to be men. They will be happy and healthy doing whatever it is that they chose in life. I don't care their preference in partner or job. I don't care where they live, although I'd like it to be somewhat close to where ever we are. I just want them happy and healthy - in all ways. (Since obviously #10 needs tohappen first in order for this one to take place. lol)

13.) I'm hoping for a day in the future ... when I'm spending far less time dreaming of the future and planning for it and a whole lot more time actually living in it.

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***Edited to say*** Okay, so I meant to finish this before it auto-posted at 8:00 pm on Thursday. Obviously, that didn't happen. lol Sorry about that. So now it is 9-ish am on Saturday - just a few days late - and I'm finishing it because the idea of a partially finished post on my blog is driving me crazy. lol

I Don't Wednesday #4 Regrets

2009-10-14T13:05:00.005-04:00

I Don't Wednesday #4: Regrets

I don't ... regret leaving my ex-husband. If I hadn't left, I wouldn't have met Rob. Rob wouldn't have led to his family and I honestly could not have asked/prayed/wished for better in-laws - parents or siblings. They are amazing. Rob also helped me to create two beautiful boys. So really, what more could I ask for there? Oh yeah, Rob is pretty great too. ;) lol

I don't ... regret looking for Mom (aka Mary) starting when I was 16 years old. I don't ... regret finding her when I was 20 years old even though it didn't turn out how I had hoped. I don't ... regret looking for Trisha on MySpace on a whim 3 years ago even though that didn't turn out how I had hoped either. Because it's all turning out how I had hoped in the end, which is how it should be.

I don't ... regret standing up for myself or my family when it was the right thing to do. Even when it wasn't the popular thing to do.

I don't ... regret wearing my heart on my sleeve even though most would say it's "weakness". At least people have always known where I was coming from and where I stood.

I don't ... regret getting married by the mayor of North Cheerioville rather than having a big wedding that we couldn't afford and would have needed loans to pay for. Besides now I get to take the next 3 years to plan my dream wedding and make sure I can make it as cheap as possible. :)

I don't ... regret starting my family before everything else. That was the path I chose for my life and I stand by that decision.

2009-10-14T00:05:00.002-04:00

I finished some personal things and closed the proverbial door on others.

Honest Scrap

2009-10-12T08:23:00.007-04:00

Jessica loves me! She really loves me!

Okay, maybe that's a slight exggeration but she did give me the Honest Scrap award for my blog. :) Something I'm super excited about by the way. :)

Jessica is from Mental Vomit, a blog which I simply adore! She and I have quite a bit in common but I won't go into the how's and why's, just trust that we do. Anywho, she has bestowed this wonderful award upon me and now I must abide by the rules of the award...and away we go!

*Say thank you and give a link to the presenter of the award {Check}
*Share “10 Honest Things” about myself
*Present the award to 10 other bloggers whose blogs I find brilliant in content and/or design or to those who have encouraged me
*Be sure to tell the 10 bloggers chosen that you are giving them the Honest Scrap award and provide the guidelines for them

Share "10 Honest Things" about myself, hhhhmmmm. I was planning to use something similar to this for my Thursday 13 this week. Oh well, let's see what I can come up with.

1.) I have been secretly coveting this award for as long as I've had a blog. I try to be very honest on my blog, without hurting others whenever possible. So I was seriously thrilled when Jessica gave it to me. (Yeah,I'm a dork, I know.)

2.) I have gotten so used to having migraines that it takes me an average of two weeks to figure out that I have a sinus infection and not just a particularly nasty migraine headache. Like now. Oy.

3.) I have been in therapy off and on for the past 15 years (since I was 14 years old) and I'm only just now finding out some of the serious reasons I should have started in the first place.

4.) When I was 9 or 10 years old, I wanted to have 6 kids. I wanted them all to be girls. I had all of their names picked out - most of which I had stolen from my favorite television shows at the time. (So think of all the popular tween shows from like 1989 and 1990 and you've got a pretty good idea of the names I had picked out.) Oh yeah, and I wanted sextuplets because I figured having them all at once had to be easier than one at a time to me. (Like I said, I was 9 or 10 years old. I knew nothing! lol)

5.) During my childhood, tween years, and teen years I was abused and misused by various different male individuals (and one female). None of them were ever held responsible - for various different reasons, all which were out of my control and had nothing to do with me "not wanting to". Is it any wonder why I've been in therapy since I was 14 years old?!

6.) When I have had enough...or I'm overwhelmed with a situation etc I begin to twirl my hair at the crown of my head (something my neice - who happens to look a lot like me when I was her age also does) or pick at my fingernails.

7.) I have two collections of angels. One set is made of various Christmas themed angels. The other set is a set of collectors Josef birthday angels. My Granny gave me both. I got a Christmas angel every Christmas and a birthday angel every birthday.

8.) You can tell how bad my migraine and/or fibro is on any given day by which of my pets are following me around the house. If Cleo is following me around; it's pretty bad. If both, Cleo and Maggie are following me; then it's really bad.

9.) I wish I were neat and organized but my brain literally doesn't work that way. I've tried to force it; but I just don't know how to make it think and work that way.

10.) I have struggled with the first 9 for like the last hour and a half. But I give up on #10. Sorry; however, some of 1-9 are very deep and detailed scrap so that should make up for the lack of a #10. lol And since this is my blog and my 10 Honest Scraps, I say it does. So there! (How's that for maturity for ya? Yes, I'll be sure to bring that up with Mollie (my therapist) next week. :p lol)

Now I need to present the award to 10 fellow bloggers. In no particular order:

Ellyn at Profoundly Seth
Amber and Dee Dee at Our Micro Preemies
Dragon's Lair Designs
Cate at Show My Face
Cynthia K at Crumbs in the Minivan
The Masto Mama Chronicles
Trisha at Minivan Mayhem - The Postlewait Papers
Julie at Julie Olsen's Journey
Nikky at Pleasantly Chaotic
Latree at Dandelion

And now that I've followed all the rules that come with this award, I'm off to...find something else to do. Watch television with Rob. Blog. Post some pictures to the blog. Who knows.

Just an FYI: I started this post at like 8:30am on Monday 10/12/2009. I wasn't able to finish it thanks in part to children, sinus infections/migraines, chores, and life until 11:00pm Monday 10/12/2009. It is now 1:51pm Tuesday 10/13/2009 and I am editing it because I was rushed to finish it by the previous stated time for the previous stated reasons. Now I am happy with the finished product. I think...

Small Talk Six #2 ~ 6 unconventional things you think people should celebrate by throwing a party

2009-10-10T00:00:00.007-04:00

Today's Small Talk Six is:

6 Unconventional Things You Think People Should Celebrate by Throwing a Party

1.) Divorce ~ All divorcees should have a party to celebrate the end of their lives together just as they had the beginning. It may sound heartless of me but I think it would bring a lot of closure if they did. Nothing wild and crazy, mind you (unless that's what they want), just something quiet and tasteful. Just the girls.

2.) Death ~ When I pass away I want my family to have a party, not a wake, to celebrate my life and what I meant to them. I want them to mourn me in their own way, in their own time. But when they come together, just before or just after my funeral, I want them to celebrate my life. Celebrate everything I survived. Everything I accomplished. The beautiful children I raised and the family I helped to create. My life.

3.) Gotcha Days ~ Gotcha Days are the days that Adoptive Parents got their Adoptive Children; hense the name "GOTcha Day". They should celebrate those days because they are special; it is the day when that child was chosen for those parents. When I was a child my adoptive family celebrated my Gotcha Day every year. Now that Gavin has a Gotcha Day, the Day that Rob's Adoption of him was final, we will celebrate it. I don't know if other Adoptive Families celebrate this but I think they should. It helps to remind the Adoptive child that while they may have joined the family through different means, they are just as special and loved as the Biological children. Sometimes Adoptive Parents seem to forget that.

4.) Sobriety ~ Sobriety is a challenge to achieve and once achieved it's a challenge to maintain. I think that some people celebrate this day on some level. I think they all should. Just like a Gotcha Day or a birthday, every year on the date with a big party. Without the alcohol, of course, having alcohol at the party is just silly. But it should definitely be a HUGE shindig, every single year.

5.) Midnight Video Game Releases ~ Whether some people want to admit it or not, video games are no longer "just for nerds". They are a huge part of everyday culture. As such, the truly popular games are released at midnight (much like the newest Harry Potter or Twilight movies) with big gaming tournaments in the stores leading up to midnight. I think it's only right that the gamers should then get together for an all-nighter filled with pizza, pop, chips, cookies, cake and candy...oh and the game, of course.

6.) Natural Demise of Abuser/Attacker (natural meaning not caused by you) ~ If you have never been the victim and subsequent survivor of domestic violence, rape, assault etc then you probably won't understand this one. You also probably think I'm sick, twisted and morbid; which truthfully I am on occassion but this isn't one of those. All of the anti-anxiety medications and therapy in the world can only get you so far. A dog, alarm system and Civil Protection Order can only protect you so much. Even taking a self defense class, a few times, can only help to a certain point. The nightmares still come. Your life is still changed and tainted. Deep in your brain there still remains that one certainty, that when the abuser, the rapist, the attacker is dead...so is the threat. On that day, you will party. Maybe not with cake and balloons. Maybe just with the first good nights sleep without having to have the dog, alarm and medications. Either way, you will celebrate.

If you would like to join in the fun of the Small Talk Six just head on over to Momdot.com and grab the topic and the graphic. Enjoy! :)

Saturday 9 #4 ~ Lie to Me

2009-10-10T00:00:00.006-04:00

Saturday 9: Lie to Me

1. Can you tell when someone is lying to you? With some people, I can. With others, I can't. It depends on: the person, the lie, and how well I know. Also how much I care whether or not I'm being lied to. Sometimes I just don't care.

2. Tell us about one of your flaws. Do you live with it or try to correct it? I tend to get tunnel vision and become very obsessed about things. Sometimes I live with it and sometimes I try and correct it. It all just depends on what I am obsessed with and why.

3. When was the last time you laughed hard and what struck you as funny? As sad as this sounds, I don't remember.

4. Tell us about a time when you should have tried harder. In high school. I should have gotten better grades and gone to college right out of high school.

5. If you won the lottery, what would you buy first? I will pay off all of our bills first - house, new car, utilities, credit cards - all of it, paid off.

6. What movie do you know every word to? Chicago & Twilight

7. What was the best thing that happened to you this week? Gavin had another amazing week. Rob was super understanding, compassionate and caring.

8. What was the worst thing that happened to you this week? More drama.

9. What do you think is the biggest difference between men and women? The ability to create children vs birth them. There are times I think we don't give men the credit they deserve. But then I change my mind because I'm a woman and I can. ;) lol

Six Word Saturday #9

2009-10-10T00:00:00.000-04:00

Human contact overload. Wanted: deserted island!

Google it...

2009-10-09T18:16:00.006-04:00

I haven't done a Google it in what feels like forever. So, I figured, "Hey, I'm in a blogging mood. Emmett John is sitting on Rob and watching the penguins. The boys are upstairs playing. Why not?!" Any away we go!

7 Oct 11:06:50 PM www.google.ca i believe that faith has brought us here...cheerios commercial ~ I can't believe that people are still looking up this commercial. Okay, honestly I'm more surprised by the fact that people are still watching commercials. I figured everyone was recording television to skip the commercials by now.
7 Oct 05:11:37 AM www.google.co.in i love my baby and cant live without him ~ Me too. Isn't it great? :)
3 Oct 10:09:11 PM www.google.com 4 year old boy refuses to potty train attachment parenting ~ I hadn't considered this but now I'm starting to wonder...maybe this is Elliott Richard's problem.
2 Oct 02:00:22 AM www.google.com things i can't live without ~ I just covered this not too long ago as my Thursday 13! Go check it out.
1 Oct 08:24:27 PM blogsearch.google.com vincent d'onofrio ~ Oh how I *heart* him! And oh how y'all have devastated me by informing me of his leaving the show. I won't watch it once he's gone. I refuse. What's his face just isn't that good at "crazy". I'm sorry but he's not. Vincent fans know what I mean. And now because it's my blog and I can....
30 Sep 01:51:49 AM www.google.com micropreemie autism high functioning ~ Hhhhhhmmmmmm...interesting. I don't know if there's a connection but I'd be interested in doing my own search to find out.
29 Sep 02:02:55 PM www.google.com have you ever had a cheerio ~ I've seen one. Have you? Just in case you haven't check out my badge at the top right of my blog...the background is a whole bunch of them.
24 Sep 12:26:14 PM www.google.com johnemmett.blogpot.com ~ I was curious so I checked this blog out. It was a temporary blog. There are no posts. And the profile is empty. Bummer.
21 Sep 06:53:04 PM www.google.pl masochistic torture ~ And again we find ourselves discussing Mr. Emmett John's future with our fine military. Assuming, of course, that there is a United States of America and a military to speak of once he's of age. Who knows...we may be American Socialist Nation by then. But we won't go there just now.
18 Sep 06:19:29 PM www.google.com cant live with them... cant live without them... but for more than 2 weeks!!! even years!!! ~ I assume the "cant live without them" part brought you to my blog. Although I'm not entirely sure what this person was searching for. Men maybe? ;) lol
17 Sep 06:23:06 PM www.google.ae i remember when we were asking each other ~ What?! "I remember when we were asking each other" WHAT?!?! What were you asking each other?! Why do these people torture me like this?! I'm curious by nature and these searches...oy! It's killing me! lol
16 Sep 02:04:11 PM www.google.se cheerio governor ~ There's a Cheerio Governor?! Wow. I mean we have a Cheerio Mayor here in Cheerioville but we don't have a Governor because those are for a state as a whole. But that's cool.
13 Sep 06:35:11 PM www.google.com length of first cheerios commercial ~ Another interesting search. I wonder if this was for curiosity sake or for a report or project or something.

Friday Fill-In #4

2009-10-09T14:21:00.004-04:00

And...here we go!

1. Sweet dreams and sleep tight; don't let the bed bugs bite .

2. Three hugs and three kisses from three beautiful boys especially for me.

3. Silliness is our "brand of Herion" here in the Cheerio household. (Sorry, I couldn't help the Twilight referrence. lol)

4. There will be one more Ninja, Pikachu and a yet unknown stalking the night this Halloween.

5. Outstanding or not everyday that Gavin tries his best and doesn't threaten or assault someone is a huge success in my book.

6. A weekend to myself - no drama, no attention, no contact, no nothing - just me, Cleo (my cat) and Maggie Sue is what I want right now!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to surviving as best I can, tomorrow my plans include sleeping as much as possible and Sunday, I want to sleep some more! Although in a perfect world, I would get #6.

I Don't Wednesday #3 Things I Just Don't Understand

2009-10-07T16:08:00.005-04:00

I don't ... understand some people. I don't ... understand how they can believe something so strongly one week and then when that clearly didn't work out well for them they change gears so completely. How does that work?

I don't ... understand how people claim to "know" what I am going to do next. And even though it hasn't happened, they still claim to "know" that it will. How do they know my mind better than I?

I don't ... understand when doing what is best for my family became the wrong thing to do. I knew that it wouldn't be the popular decision. I knew I would be making people unhappy. However, it was the same decision across the board for all. Yet, I was only judged by one. I don't ... understand.

I don't ... understand the new policy for "Health Care 'reform'". It just reads like a foreign language to me. Almost as if Obama doesn't want the American public to understand it.

I don't ... understand how Obama-Mamas trust most of what comes out of Obama's mouth. I'm aware this makes me unpopular in alot of crowds but it's how I feel.

I don't ... understand why all of my articles that I write lately keep coming out like high school term papers - overly-serious, pretensious crap.

I don't ... understand why the FDA keeps approving medications for fibromyalgia when they really doesn't work very well.

I don't ... understand why I'm so drawn to these "Lockdown", "Lockup" jail shows on National Geographic and MSNBC channels on television. Something about them simply fascinates me. I don't ... understand why.

Bye bye bye!

2009-10-06T14:39:00.002-04:00

Not for good, mind you...just for the next week or so. Our internet is out and they can't get out to fix it for a week or so (wha wha what?!)...which leaves me high and dry without my internet.

That means...

No blogging of any real length. *sob*
No new articles on my Examiner.com page. *double sob*
No OME. *triple sob*

I forget what life before internet was like!?!?

Thursday Thirteen ~ 13 Shows I'll Always Love

2009-10-01T11:59:00.004-04:00

1.) Buffy the Vampire Slayer ~ Yes, it's old school. Yes, it's slightly cheesey - especially now. But I love it! I have been known to record it from start to finish and watch it - repeatedly. Back when it was still on television. There is just something about this show that speaks to me on some level and I can't get enough of it. I currently own the first season on DVD. I would love to own all of the seasons so that I could sit down with a few gallons of sweet tea, some popcorn and chocolate and watch them all. All of the seasons, back to back all in a row.

2.) The Office ~ I admit when The Office first began, I hated it. I was offended by Michael Scott. There are still times when I will cover my eyes because I am offended by Michael Scott and can't bear to watch him say or do whatever it is that's about to happen. lol But even I couldn't avoid the pull of Jim and Pam and everyone else for long.

3.) Law & Order ~ I remember hearing the theme song to L&O when I was kid at my Granny's house but I couldn't understand that appeal. As an adult, I understand the appeal. I haven't seen anything near all the episodes but of the repeats that I've seen, I have absolutely no problem watching them, repeatedly. If only recording them all didn't fill-up my DVR box so quickly.

4.) Law & Order: Special Victims Unit ~ I started watching this series in the 2nd season. It was love at first sight. Even with my history, I love it. In fact, I firmly believe that it's my history that allows L&O: SVU and I to have such a strong bond because in SVU I can see the justice take place that I'm likely never to receive myself.

5.) Law & Order: Criminal Intent ~ Vincent D'Onofrio, enough said.

6.) NCIS ~ The plotlines are amazing. The cast chemistry completely draws me in. Plus my nearest and dearest, Nikky, watches it with her hubby Chris so we get to discuss it. You know, in between diapers and doctors appointments and other misc parenting things. lol

7.) Good Eats ~ I've said it once, I'll said it again...I *heart* Alton Brown. I considered naming Emmett John, Alton but figured people would struggle with it. Plus I didn't think Rob would agree. I just love how he makes cooking everything from the simplest meals to the most complicated things sound so easy that I actually feel like I could make them. (I'm still convinced I could make omelets and creps, if I took the time to try. LMAO)

8.) Reba ~ I stumbled upon this show completely by accident a while ago. Now I'm in love. When I can't find anything else on that I like, there's usually an episode of Reba on. I love Reba anyway because I'm a big country music fan but to see her acting rather than singing is such a lovely change. Then when she sings in the show, acting as if she isn't a professional singer in real life, I just love it. Plus it's just a good family show and you can't go wrong with that these days.

9.) Friends ~ I've always loved this show. Even back when it was popular, way back when. Then when Gavin and I were living in "Hell" with...well, in "another lifetime" we used to sit and watch reruns after dinner but before bedtime. We would sit and watch and rock for an hour and it amazed me because Gavin wasn't even a year old but we was always so calm and quiet for the entire hour. It's one of the few happy memories I have from that time. Plus the episodes are always good for a good laugh when nothing is on.

10.) Judging Amy ~ This is another one I don't remember how I got started on it but much like Buffy, I could record it and watch it from beginning to end over and over again without any problems. When we became involved with Child Protective Services a few years ago, I actually said that I only had one request for our Social Worker...I wanted her to be just like Maxine Gray from Judging Amy. I just knew if our Social Worker was compassionate and tenacious in all the right ways; we would be okay. Janice was and we were. In the end, Judging Amy was what helped to renew my faith in the Juvinile Justice System time and time again.

11.) Blues Clues ~ Okay, admitedly I won't love this show because it's a show I personally enjoy. I will always love this show because my boys love and enjoy this show, at least for now. So by playing this show I can usually assure myself a half hour, maybe more, of peace and quiet. Some days peace and quiet is worth everything in the world, which makes this the most very important show in the world.

12.) Intervention ~ This is one of those reality shows that keeps me honest. It keeps me on my toes. Because of my fibromyalgia and migraine headaches I'm on quite a few different heavy duty medications and watching this show reminds me of what could very well happen to me at any given moment if I don't stay on my toes.

13.) The Real World ~ My original reality television show. The one that got me started. I remember way back when I found it on MTV, which I wasn't supposed to be watching at the time (my big act of teenage rebellion) and I fell in love. I didn't know then what reality television was but I thought the idea was pure genius. I still love the all day Real World Marathons. Granted, I prefer the older seasons to the new ones but I'll take what I can get.

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How much is TOO much?

2009-09-20T09:26:00.002-04:00

Every once in a while I find myself pondering, "How much is too much?" What things just should not be shared on a blog? Does such a limit exist? Or is it merely a self-imposed limit used to try and keep the peace and help maintain relationships? If it is self-imposed is there a "right time" to remove it? Do others have a say in it's removal even if they aren't an active part of the blog itself?

Some seriously major things have been going on in my life lately. I was asked not to say anything about these goings on; however, that request was made before. Before I was disowned and my family was threatened. This is now.

Now I just have to figure out "How much is too much?" before I post the details. Problem is that I can't just post part of it because it won't make much sense. So now I have to decide what to do.

Any thoughts?

Look what I made

2009-09-14T16:23:00.003-04:00

All by myself!

I am so tickled that I have taught myself how to create HTML blog buttons! Now I have one for my blog. One for my Examiner.com Articles page. And one to link you to the OME sisterhood. I always thought these were super difficult to create and perhaps the really fancy ones are; but my easy ones are so much fun and easy to make! :)

YIPPEE!

I also have a bunch of stuff to update you about. After I finish my second article and get some other work done first. :)

Gavin's 7 Rules

2009-09-09T21:24:00.001-04:00

Gavin's 7 Rules

1.) No internet. Especially YouTube as it is grossly inappropriate for anyone under the age of 18 in my opinion. But basically, no internet at all. He cannot even watch you on the internet because he doesn’t understand the difference.

2.) No video games. This includes computer, internet, console (Wii, PS2, PS1 etc.), handheld (Game boy, DS, PSP etc.) or $5 cheapie hand-held games. If it's digital and a game, the answer is No. This also includes watching others play video games. He cannot even handle being a spectator.

3.) No fighting. This includes martial arts battles, sword fighting, toy guns and weapons of any kind. This also includes imaginary Pokemon battles. He is unable to set or follow limits in these situations and therefore cannot be involved in these situations.

4.) No shopping or presents unless Rob & I approve it in advance. This includes window shopping online, window shopping in the stores or catalogs.

5.) No play dates. This includes cousins, play lands at fast food establishments, parks etc. Gavin CANNOT interact with most other kids (for their own safety as well as Gavin’s).

6.) Be on time. If you say you will be here to pick him up or drop him off at 1:00pm then be here at 1:00pm not hours later.

7.) When in doubt as to if something falls under a rule, ASK FIRST! It only takes a simple phone call to double check that you have the correct information, which will prevent major issues later on. As much as we all love Gavin, he isn't the best source for information so please, please, please always ask first.

Big News

2009-09-08T22:41:00.001-04:00

I will give more details about my big news tomorrow, once my laptop is recovered after it's death by battery drain earlier this evening. (Oops! Lol) I will say this though...I've managed to accomplish one of my life-long goals - to become a freelance writer! At this point, I've only written and had one article published but I have many, many more swirling around in my head. If you have a second, please check out my first article...

http://www.examiner.com/x-22824-Cleveland-StayatHome-Moms-Examiner

YIPPEE!!! :)

Quickie update

2009-09-07T19:30:00.007-04:00

I've got pretty awesome news but I don't want to share it yet because it's not quite final.

Emmett John is having his surgery to have his tubes placed on Thursday, Sept 10th.

I have to schedule to have an EMG on my lower body to try and determine why I'm having bi-lateral leg pain and numbness. Insurance wouldn't pay for the MRI but they'll pay for the torture. Jerks. Bright side, I can take 2 Xanax before the EMG, which will help since I'm beyond phobic when it comes to needles.

Gavin's first day of school is tomorrow. So we opted to stay home and lay low today. Nice and calm day.

I'm trying to get my new organizer all set up and filled in, which is taking much longer than it should because Mr. Emmett John keeps trying to help me. lol I figure once I get that done...His surgery (15 minutes) and recovery (about 12-24 hours at home) done...And my test done...I'll be back to my blogging self. Or maybe before that, who knows. ;) lol

Please pray that his surgery goes off without a hitch.

I remember.......

2009-09-03T01:24:00.001-04:00

I just wanted to spend a few minutes with you and tell the world how I feel about you....

We have been together for 9 long years and been married for 6 short ones. I know that "long years" sounds bad but we have been through one trauma after another, year after year. Most couples wouldn't survive half of what you and I have been through together. There is just something about us that defies logic and statistics. We always joke that no one would have ever put us together because we are like oil and water.

I wanted to take this time to tell you in written words (I know how important written words are to you) how much you mean to me. These are my most treasured memories.... So far.

I remember the first time I met you (you know the first time I'm talking about) and I learned about some of what you had been through.

I remember I felt so sorry for you because no one deserves to be treated like that.

I remember after knowing you for only a brief moment, I felt proud of you because I realized you were NOT a victim.

I remember the first time I saw you at the park.

I remember our first kiss was at dusk standing in your Aunt Paula's porch.

I remember our first movie was Space Cowboy's.

I remember the first time we ate together was at M & H.

I remember the first time I met Gavin was at the park because we wanted to date for a little while before I met him.

I remember Gavin spilling his lemonade all over me that day.

I remember the fear I saw in your eyes as that happened because you thought I would be upset and walk away.

I remember us daring each other to say "I love you" because we were both to scared to be the first one to say it.

I remember parking the car in Rosemary's driveway and talking for hours and hours about nothing just to be together.

I remember you nursing me back to health both physically and emotionally after I destroyed my back on a call and decided to end my career as a Fire/Medic.

I remember your Grandma M taking me ( I was terrified of her at the time) to Burger King and telling me it was my turn to take care of you now.

I remember the worst day of your life and the pain in your eyes when you learned she passed away.

I remember that seeing you in so much pain was the first time my heart had ever truly been broken.

I remember asking you to marry me as we were walking to my car after I picked you up from school that sunny afternoon (if anyone is wondering she said yes).

I remember you being there for me on the worst day of my life, when I Grandma B passed away.

I remember our wedding day in North Cheerioville and dinner at Papa Bears after because we didn't want nor could we afford anything fancy and just wanted to be married.

I remember our honey moon at the cabin and you wearing your hooded jacket (looking like Kenny from South Park) in 90 F weather because you were hiding from the bugs.

I remember cutting it short and spending the next few days in the hospital because we both caught some freak virus.

I remember the day we found out you were pregnant with Elliott Richard and all the water you had to drink because I made you take like 6 tests just to be sure.

I remember the first time I heard his heart beat and yours together at the same time, amazing.

I remember witnessing Elliott Richard's birth and being so full of emotion and truly feeling what love was for the first time.

I remember standing there and looking at you in amazement because you created this perfect, tiny little child.

I remember a few minutes later begging God to take my life and spare our sweet Elliott Richard after he was born premature, both his lungs ruptured and we almost lost him.

I remember that was the longest 14 days of my life.

I remember we both felt so helpless not being able to touch him and seeing him in so much pain every day.

I remember being so afraid to leave to get food or sleep because we didn't want him to be alone if God was going to take him.

I remember that even though you had spent 6 months on bed rest and weeks in labor you were my rock and I was a complete mess.

I remember the first time you held him in the NICU, you looked so beautiful and at peace for the first time in a long while.

I remember learning you were pregnant with Emmett John and how excited we were.

I remember how much you taught me about courage and selflessness during the 8 months of bed rest leading the birth of our youngest miracle.

I remember having to be told over and over again how perfect he was when he was born because we were so scared something was going to happen.

I remember watching you hold Emmet John for the first time while I stood in awe of what you had just accomplished.

I remember the day we went to court and I finally after 8 years got to adopt Gavin.

I remember all the joy and pain that comes along with raising Gavin together.

I remember how fiercely you protected him and always do.

Now there are some things I would like you to remember.

Please remember the first time I saw you I knew you were the one. My soul mate. My penguin...

Please remember that you the strongest most beautiful woman I have ever met and I am truly honored to be your husband.

Please remember that I am completely and hopelessly in love with you.

Please remember that not a day goes by that I don't know how lucky I am to have you in my life.

Please remember that I am eternally grateful for ALL that you do for us even though you don't think it's enough.

Please remember that you are the glue that holds this family together.

Please remember that I will always, always be here for you...

Please remember that I would do ANYTHING to take your pain away.

Please remember that I am so sorry that I can't.

Please remember that I will forever be grateful that you read my email.

Please remember that I am also grateful you didn't listen to your cousin when she warned you about me saying I was a "Mac Daddy". Yes I am talking about you Sam :)

It seems like only yesterday and at the same time it feels like forever ago that we said I do. Does that even make sense? It's like time revolves around us.
Actually, time is meaningless for us because soul mates were created to be together no matter how long it takes to find each other, so time is irrelevant. I believe soul mates are like a circle with no beginning and no end. I know you are my soul mate.

I can't remember or imagine us not being together. That being said..... I have a question I have been meaning to ask you....

Scroll down.......For dramatic effect..

Keep scrolling.....

Keep scrolling....

Your almost there.....

Ok here goes nothing......

Lizze I have loved you from the first day we met. Every day I find myself looking forward to spending the next day with you. You are the most amazing mother and the best wife I could have ever hoped for. You are truly so much more then I deserve...

Scroll down.......

(Rob is getting really nervous)

Keep scrolling....

(Rob takes a deep breath and gets down on one knee)

Elizabeth Ann Cheerio (name has been changed to protect the Cheerio family),

Will you do me the honor of marrying me......... again?

This time I want to take our time and do it right. I want to pick a church we are both comfortable and happy with. I want to be married in front of God and our family including those we have gained since the first time :)

I want us to have a new start. I want this to be when we finally put everything behind us and move forward together as a family. What do you say?

I will anxiously await your answer......

Your Loving Husband,

Rob

Thursday 13 ~ Reasons I Married Rob

2009-09-03T00:00:00.003-04:00

Thursday 13 ~ Reasons I Married Rob & Why I Love Him Still

1.) As corny and cheesey as I'm sure this will sound, it felt right. Granted, this was long before Twilight but he was my Edward. Once we met, I was drawn to him. Perhaps that's part of the reason why the Twilight series holds such a strong appeal for me. ;)

2.) The first time Rob and Gavin met, we went to the park. Keep in mind, this was before the "switch was flipped" and things with Gavin changed. Then we went to dinner at one of my favorite local places. While waiting for our food, Gavin dumped his cup of lemonade in Rob's khaki short wearing lap. It looked like Rob had peed himself. I was sure I would never see Rob again. Rob says that's the moment he fell in love with me.

3.) After the "switch was flipped" and things with the divorce became more difficult, I gave Rob the chance to leave. I offered him an "out". No hard feelings. I would understand. He stayed. Most men would have run. True love stays.

4.) He supports me. No matter what. Even when I don't support myself or my own dreams, there's Rob cheering me on.

5.) He finds the things in me endearing that most would try and quash. Like my love of office supplies. Or my obsession with books and the written word. Or the "battle" we have over which is better, technology or the books and the written word. Like the 100's of pens I have around the house. Or the journals and notebooks. My crazy taste in music and movies. Or how I will watch the same movie or read the same series (ahem, Twilight) repeatedly. He loves these things about me.

6.) I knew from his baby pictures that he was going to make some cute babies! ;)

7.) He's never once laughed at my phobias, ever. He holds my hand and strokes my hair when I have to get shots (needles). He takes care of me when MRI's are needed (small places). He's always there. He never laughs, no matter how silly they may seem to him.

8.) He gave up the fire department for us. I never asked him to do that. I never would have. That was his. His before we came along. And his for as long as he wanted it, I never hinted. Never thought. I knew that was his first love when we started dating and I was okay with that. When he quit; I knew how deep his commitment went.

9.) When my Granny died on Saturday, May 11th 2002, he took care of me for a week. He didn't push. He just loved me. If I hadn't had him and Gavin then, I wouldn't have made it through. He was there and that meant the world to me.

10.) When my world shattered that first weekend Gavin spent with them and I laid in his bed and cried. Paralyzed. Totally unable to move for two days. He slept on couch cushions upstairs so I didn't have to move before I was ready. He didn't push me then either. He was there. And I survived that too. With him.

11.) Every terrifying moment of my pregnancies with Elliott Richard and Emmett John, he was there. He gave me my shots; so I wouldn't have to give them to myself. He stood up for me. He cared for me. He slept on chairs when beds weren't available. He held my hand. He brought me food. He cried with me. Even when he had to go home to feed a dog or take a shower; he never left my side because he would call. From the road. As soon as he got home. Before he left.

12.) The worse my fibromyalgia becomes, the more they find wrong, the worse my health gets the more things falls upon Rob. More chores. More kids things. More "Mommy duties". I sleep more. I take more hot baths. I take more meds. I cry more. My life gets more difficult. His life gets more difficult. Still he doesn't leave. Still he loves me. Still he picks up the slack and keeps on chugging. He takes Gavin to his appointments. He takes me to mine. He naps when/if he can. And we all just keep moving forward. As one family. One unit. One marriage with 3 beautiful children.

13.) Look at my beautiful man over there ~~~~~~>

How can you not fall in love with that beautiful soul?!

If you would like to join in on the fun of Thursday 13 follow the links below.

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Happy 6th Anniversary my Wonderful Husband!

I love you so much! I truly couldn't do it without you!

Tuesday Toot #11 ~ September Comment Challenge

2009-09-01T13:25:00.005-04:00

For my Tuesday Toot this week, I have joined the September Comment Challenge!

The challenge is to leave 500 comments between now, Tuesday, September 1st and Wednesday, September 31st. Which honestly sounds next to impossible but really super fun! :)

If you would like to join in the next to impossible, super fun...head on over to The September Comment Challege. Grab the button. Sign up. And join the fun. :)

In case you are curious, I have left a whole 8 comments so far today. But I still have to finish reading my Saturday 9's (yes, I'm that far behind) and my Tuesday Toots. So I should have plenty of comments (which I would have left anyway, I'm not leaving comments just for the sake of this challenge) left by the end of the day. (Assuming I can stay away from OME long enough. lol)

Six Word Saturday #8

2009-08-29T20:59:00.004-04:00

OME Sorority for all Twilight women!

If you are a woman (25 years +) and love Twilight stop by OME and check it out! The ladies are great. The boards are great. The moderators are great. (Of course, I could be biased because I'm both a lady on the board and one of the moderators. :) lol) We have a blast. But don't take my word for it, come and check it out for yourself. ;)

Saturday 9 ~ #3 Waiting

2009-08-29T20:51:00.004-04:00

Saturday 9: The Waiting

1. Have you ever stayed online for a very long time waiting for someone? Yes, I have and now I'm married to him. :)

2. How do you eat oreos? However I want because I can. Usually I take them apart and lick the icing until it's gone. Then I eat the naked halves. Sometimes I just eat the cookie.

3. Are you cocky? Not usually but I guess I can be. Depends on my mood?

4. Did you have an imaginary friend as a kid? I had two - Michael and Jennifer. They lived in a hole in the ceiling. I don't know why but they did.

5. What t.v. station do you watch the most? Whichever has my reality television show on at the moment, usually CBS, VH1, or History, Food Network, Nat Geo.

6. Have you ever seen the ocean? In pictures. In movies. On TV. Do those count?

7. Have you ever been hospitalized? More times than I care to remember. Just for fun let's see if I can...Time #1 ~ 2 weeks old for some crazy 106 degree fever illness thing. Time #2 ~ Childbirth of Gavin in January 2000. Time #3 ~ Preterm labor with Elliott Richard. Time #4 ~ DVT and preterm labor with Elliott Richard. Time #5 ~ Childbirth of Elliott Richard. Time #6 ~ Childbirth of Emmett John.

8. What's your favorite brand of rootbeer? Woody's - it's made locally at an ice cream stand.

9. Could you live without a computer? No! How else would I check my email, write my posts, keep up with my blogs, and keep up with my moderator duties at OME?!?!?! What kind of crazy question is this? Honestly.

If you think you would like to join in the fun of the Saturday 9 then swing on by Crazy Sam's blog and join the fun! :)

Friday Fill Ins #2

2009-08-29T06:31:00.005-04:00

Okay, so admitedly my Friday Fill In is a day late and a dollar short but it's better late than never, right? ;) Besides, I've been busy.

1. He was a vision of everything I'd ever wanted in man but there way no way he was the one for me.

2. September 3rd although the first day of school is a very close second is what I look forward to most this time of year.

3. My best friend in love and a forever kind of way is Rob; in a sisterly way is Trisha; in the "dog is man's best friend" way is Maggie Sue.

4. It's truly always best to be honest with (you) me because I'm one of those people where whatever my imagination comes up with really and truly will be much, much worse than the truth.

5. Appearances can be deceiving but I'm still one of those people who usually finds myself stuck to my first impressions.

6. The last person I gave a hug to was Rob and Emmett John (group hug).

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to wroking on the OME Twilight Sorority Message Boards, tomorrow my plans include hiding inside from the weather and trying to survive the flare it brings with it while blog surfing and working/surfing on the OME boards; hopefully taking Elliott Richard to the NICU Reunion and Sunday, I want to sleep in, take a nap, not have a flare, maybe wash some laundry, surf the web...SSDD!

If the Friday Fill In looks like something that you would like to participate in, just hop on over to Janet's Blog: Friday Fill Ins and get started! :)

Have a great weekend!

Thursday 13 ~ Things I Can't Live Without

2009-08-27T00:00:00.002-04:00

Thursday 13 ~ Things I Cannot Live Without (in no particular order ~ really)

1.) Blank Composition Notebooks ~ I need these to keep my thoughts organized. Computers are great and all but I need these to brain storm and whatnot. I can't do that properly with a computer.

2.) Pens ~ Pens, pens glorious pens. Pens of all colors, shapes and sizes. I collect them. I love them. They just so happen to go hand in hand with #1. Funny how that works, huh?

3.) My cell phone ~ But not for the reasons you may be thinking. Sure I love to talk, mainly to Rob and Trisha. However, it also has a camera in it and it's the easiest thing to grab to catch those fun, silly, adorable moments with my boys, my man, my sister, my dog.

4.) My Zune ~ I admit I didn't want it at first. When Rob bought it for me, I was not happy. Sure, it's blue, my favorite color. Now that I have it and I've learned to use it (and it's only taken me like forever) I can't live without it. I listen to it in the tub, when I write, when I just need some "me time".

5.) My laptop ~ Okay, so it's not "mine" per se but for now, it is. And for now, I can't live without it. I couldn't blog without it. I couldn't keep up with Twilight web sites without it (yes, I'm that obsessed). I've made some great new friends all over the world (Hi Latree!) with my baby and that just wouldn't have been possible without her.

6.) Rob ~ Yes, he's my husband. Yes, our marriage is seriously stressed 99.9% of the time. Lately though, things have taken a pleasant turn for the better. Stress or not stress, things are looking up. Stress or no stress, I couldn't do this without him. I need him by my side. He is truly my better half. My in-laws did a fabulous job raising him and I don't want to go through life without him.

7.) Trisha ~ My big sister. I love her. I looked for her for 10 years. It took MySpace to help me find her. (lol) We are alot alike. Then again, we are totally different. Logically, I know that I spent most of my life without Trisha in it; however, emotionally I feel like she's always been there. Kind of like when you have your children, I can't remember life before I had a sister.

8.) My boys ~ All of my life all I've ever wanted was to be a mother. I always thought I wouldn't be fulfilled until I had a daughter. Then I had Mr. Emmett John. Now I know that I wasn't meant to have a daughter and I'm more than okay with that. I am the mother of three wonderful, adorable boys and I wouldn't have it any other way.

9.) Books ~ I love to read. If couldn't do anything else for amusement for the rest of my life, I would want to read. Hands down. Well, read and write...you know what, never mind...I do love books but I can't pick any one thing over another. I'm too selfish. ;)

10.) Reality television ~ Some people say that reality television is the downfall of mankind. It kills brain cells. Blah. Blah. Blah. Yahooie kablooie. Whatever. I say that reality television is the single greatest television invention in a really long time. It is perfect. It's fun and mindless and just...ah...perfect.

11.) Chocolate ~ Chocolate is the perfect food. Honestly, anyone who can find something wrong with chocolate needs to have their head examined because you clearly have deeper underlying issues. Unless of course you are allergic to chocolate, in which case, you have my deepest sympathies and you are, of course, exempt from my prior assessment.

12.) My Blog ~ I've made it very clear at numerous different points in my blog that I prefer the pen and paper journal to the internet blog. However, being the mother of three small boys does not allow the time for a pen and paper journal. Also my arthritis in my hands is preventing me from writing as often and as much as I would like, which makes the blogging much easier than the pen and paper journal. My blog keeps me sane. It makes me happy. I just love it.

13.) Sleep ~ I love to sleep. I miss sleep. With three small boys, sleep is something that is often difficult to come by. (Says the mother with a coughing 3 year old on her lap at 12:15am while she scrambles to try and finish this blog that was supposed to have posted 15 minutes ago. ;) lol)

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Thank You, Governor Strickland.

2009-08-25T08:37:00.003-04:00

So, one week ago today I posted a blog about my missing/expired driver's license. Well, as it turns out Rob didn't remember getting a card in the mail about my license because they hadn't sent one. How do I know this, you might ask? Because I just got it in the mail yesterday!

Yup, you read that right.

Wonderful, fantastic always on top of things Governor Strickland and his fantastic staff sent me my notice last week that my license had expired last month. However, his card did make sure to mention that I could drive with an expired license before they would make me take the exam again. (Gee, thanks.)

On the bright side, if he gets rid of charter schools as quickly as he sends out the expired license notices; Gavin's school isn't in any danger at all. ;)

Small Talk Six #1 ~ 6 Things You'll Miss (Or Not) About Summer

2009-08-22T09:29:00.005-04:00

Today's Small Talk Six is:

6 Things You'll Miss (or Won't Miss) About Summer!

1.) I will not miss the heat. I don't do well in extreme heat.

2.) I will not miss the neighborhood hoodrats. I can't wait for them to go back to school.

3.) I will miss having my afternoons free without having to make sure I'm at Gavin's school by 3:00pm.

4.) I will miss not having to worry about when we wake up in the morning and being ready right away.

5.) I will not miss the bugs and the tourists and my street filled with cars from neighbors having parties/BBQ's.

6.) I will miss having the ability to get up and go as a family whenever we want.

If you would like to join in the fun of the Small Talk Six just head on over to Momdot.com and grab the topic and the graphic. Enjoy! :)

Six Word Saturday #7

2009-08-22T09:01:00.000-04:00

Can't wait for my new daytimer!

:) It should be here by Friday, hopefully. :) I can't wait! I can't wait! :)

If you would like to partake in the fun of Six Word Saturday, then head on over to Cate's Blog. Grab the button. Put your info in Mr. Linky. And join along. :)

Saturday 9 ~ #2 I Ran

2009-08-22T00:00:00.002-04:00

Saturday 9: I Ran
1. When's the last time you ran? I haven't ran in years. Although I used to run all the time when I was stressed out.

2. Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them? The really well loved pairs do.

3. What are you dreading right now? The new school year. I'm terrified that Gavin won't make it to the end.

4. Do you like Mexican food? I love Mexican food!

5. Favorite ice cream? Chocolate peanut butter

6. When was your last doctor's visit? Wednesday 8/19/2009 with Dr. T

7. Do you get the full 8 hours of sleep a night? Maybe in some alternate universe but not in this one.

8. How many pets do you have? 2 ~ 1 dog, Miss Maggie Sue & 1 cat, Miss Cleo (not the washed up psychic) unless you count the numerous fish and a turtle then I have more than 2

9. "First Loves Are Never Over;" is this true for you? Yes and no. I believe that first loves always hold a special place in our hearts but I don't believe that they "are never over". My first love is definitely over. A part of me will always love him but I'll never be in love with him again. I only have love for my Robby now.

If you would like to join in the fun of the Saturday 9, head on over to Samantha's Blog and jump right on in!

Friday Fill Ins #1

2009-08-21T16:00:00.004-04:00

1. I remember, I remember this one time at church camp.

2. Dear God, I want you to know that I could use a little help down here.

3. Is that my 1 yr old climbing over the back of the couch!!???

4. I'm trying to resist the temptation of cheesecake calling to me from the bakery.

5. I'm saving a hug just for you!

6. If I made a birthday list sanity would definitely be on it!!!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to going to Wal*Mart with my sister, tomorrow my plans include waking up pain-free (God-willing) and Sunday, I want to work on the laundry or take a nap...probably take a nap!

If you would like to play along with the Friday Fill In please head on over to Janet's Blog and check things out! Enjoy!

2009-08-19T00:00:00.000-04:00

Come one! Come all!

It's that time again!

I Don't Wednesday!

It's not the things you do.

It's the things you Don't Do.

Now's the time to share. :)

I Don't... rely on technology as much as Rob wishes I would. (I'm not a technophob, obviously since I'm blogging but I prefer the tried-and-true pen and paper methods to technology.)

I Don't... have beautiful penmenship and that drives me crazy.

I Don't... have many friends who aren't my family.

I Don't... know what to expect from my pain management appointment this morning.

I Don't... know if I should watch the show on the Octomom on Channel 8 tonight.

Welp, those are my I Don't Wednesdays for the week. If you would like to join in the fun, hop on over to Jenna's Journey to grab the code for the button and play along. :)

Tuesday Toot #10 ~ License Oopsie

2009-08-18T19:39:00.004-04:00

Yeah, so my Tuesday Toot for this week looks a little something like this:

(Except, you know, I'm not a guy. And my hair is a little bit longer. And I wear glasses, only I didn't wear them in my picture. But you get the general idea.)

I thought I had lost my driver's license, which I had. Turns out, that not only had I lost it but it expired a month ago today! Can we say, "Oopsie!" I just didn't know that it had expired until I went on line and checked my driving record (because I'm nosey like that). Imagine my surprise when it pops up with this little tid bit:

Your Ohio driver abstract spans the previous three-year period.
License Status as of 08/18/2009: EXPIRED (Wha-wha-what?!?!?!)
ENDORSEMENTS: NONE
RESTRICTIONS: NONE
***END OF DRIVER RECORDS***

So now my day has gone from needing to get my license reprinted before my 8:00am appointment with pain management tomorrow morning; to needing to get my license renewed before my appointment. Good thing I caught this too because after 6 months you have to retake the test. Have I ever mentioned how many times it took me to pass the test in the first place?! Let's just say the test and I...we don't get along so well. I'm a really good driver but I have test taking anxiety.

Yes, so that is my Tuesday Toot.

I went to the Social Security Office to get a statement that I am legal with a Social Security Number and everything. (Because yes, if you must know, I have lost my Social Security Card somewhere within my house too.) Then off to the BMV. Fun times.

Let's not even ask about the picture, okay? ;) (lol)

If you enjoyed my Tuesday Toot and would care to join in the fun, head on over to The Mommy Community and jump right in. The water is fine and we are all having a blast! :)

Not Me Monday

2009-08-17T00:00:00.002-04:00

It's bright and early Monday morning. That can only mean one thing...Not Me Monday! :) This week... I did not catch Mr. Emmett John by his right arm and leg before he fell off the couch because he was crawling off the couch and I was trying to get over writer's block/coma. (Nope, not me.) I also did not ignore the very same Mr. Emmett John when he threw his dry cereal on the floor before eating it. I also did not think "as long as he's eating it some how, some way that's truly all that matters at this point". (Nope, that would be germy and slightly irresponsible of me.) I did not both cringe and cheer as Emmett John gets better at walking because that means that he's getting older and more grown up. (Nope, not me because as the mother of 3 I know full well that babies become toddlers and eventually big kids, teenagers and adults.) I did not eat almost an entire bag of Pepperidge Farms Milano Cookies in a single sitting while rereading Twilight. And finally, I did not spend an entire day searching the internet for just the refillable daytimer for my needs. Then once I found the momAgenda All-in-One Folio; I definitely do not stop the webpage every few days just to gaze at until I'm able to order it. (That would be silly, right?) If you would like to join in the fun of Not Me Monday head on over tosee MckMama at My Charming Kids to grab the details and join the fun! :)

The Story of Elliott Richard ~ The NICU

2009-08-16T19:32:00.003-04:00

Ah the joys of the NICU. I left off with the breastpump, the liquid gold lifeline to Elliott Richard and my complete and utter lack of control. I was devasted. Plain and simple.

I had worked so hard and for so long to ensure that this very thing did not happen and look where he ended up?! In the stupid, flippin' NICU. It was unbelievable and completely inexcusable in my book. I truly didn't know what to do.

Once Elliott was in the NICU it became more and more apparent just how bad things really were. He had a pneumothorax (collapsed lung) on the left side from trying to breathe but not being able to. No sooner did they get his left side diagnosed and his ride side collapsed. He had IV's going every which way. As soon as they had one placed - in his foot or a hand or his head (it took ages for the bald spots to grow back) it would blow and they would have to place another one. He had heart monitors. Feeding tubes because they weren't feeding him orally yet. Then he was on a CPAP. Then a nasal canula. Then when they figured out he had two collapsed lungs and pneumonia; they intubated and sedated him.

For the first 4 or 5 days we couldn't even touch him. I would pump religiously every 2-3 hours; to the point where they had too much milk for him. Then I would walk it down to the NICU no matter what time of day it was. I would hand it to his nurse at the time. Then I would sit.

I would watch him monitors and learn the beeps, which ones were okay. Which ones were cause for concern. Which ones brought everyone running. I would sit. I would listen. I would watch him sleep. I couldn't hold him. I couldn't touch him. I couldn't do a single thing my instincts were screaming at me to do. And there were moments when I thought it would kill me.

They kept me in the hospital as long as possible. They were even able to move me to a larger room and get a second bed so that Rob could stay at the hospital with me. We had a huge black lab, Hermione, at the time and Rob would let her out at night. Sleep at the hospital and go to the NICU in the middle of the night with me. The get up and go home to take care of her first thing in the morning before coming back to be with Elliott Richard and I at the hospital again.

Gavin was staying with my parents. My mom would take him to school in the morning. Rob would pick him up from school in the afternoon and hang out with him until my mom got off work. Then she would meet him for the exchange and he would head right back to my side at the hospital.

Once I was discharged from the hospital they gave me a room for free to stay in while Elliott Richard was still in the NICU. At first, it was in the Post Partum Ward so it was right down the hall from the NICU. Then they moved me to the Peds Unit, which was on another floor and through what felt like a maze of hallways to reach. I hated that room. It hurt to walk to. It took forever. And the Peds Unit is a petri-dish of illness! Why would you put the mother of a preemie there?!?!?!? I was infuriated!

Over time, I felt this horrible weight. This guilt because I would talk to the other mothers. I would watch them celebrate as their babies made it to 3lb or 4lb or 5lb. Here I sat with my 7lb monster baby. In the end though, we really weren't all that different. None of us wanted to be there. We all wanted the same ending; to leave with our happy, healthy babies safely sleeping in our arms.

The days wore on. I know there was a point when Rob and I were cleared to enter the NICU and we walked back to find they performing a medical procedure on Elliott Richard. I was mortified.

At one point the doctors and nurses were explaining to us how serious things were. They couldn't get him breathing on his own. They couldn't seem to wean him off the vent. They didn't know what was wrong, exactly. They were trying everything but were running out of ideas and if they didn't come up with something soon they were going to ask our permission to send him to top notch Children's Hospital 2 hours away.

During this time we were also offered the "support of clergy", which in hindsight I understand. At the time though, it felt to me that they were giving up. It felt like everyone was saying, "Well, you better call a priest and have him baptized because he isn't going to make it out of here." That felt like giving up to me. I refused, rather rudely if I remember correctly. How dare they give up on my baby!

I remember Rob and I asking why they hadn't given him surfactant if it would help him to breathe on his own without the ventilator. They said it was too late, he was too old, it wouldn't help. Finally, after days of on again, off again with the ventilator they decided to give the surfactant a try. He was still intubated but they were working towards weaning him off it.

After the move to the Peds Unit room, Rob "made" me go home. I say "made" because I didn't want to go. I would have slept in a chair next to Elliott Richard's isolet if they would have let me. I was terrified to leave. Terrified they would call and tell us to hurry back and we would be too late. Terrified they would call and say we were already too late. Simply terrified to be here while he was there. I hated it. I hated Rob for a while too. Not a rational response, true. But allow me to remind you that I was 1-10 days post-partum during this time. Rational responses don't usually happen a whole lot during that time anyway.

That's when Elliott took matters into his own hands.

I was visiting him and stroking his hand because he was sedated while he was intubated so this was permitted. His nurse stopped by his isolet and said that she was on her way to grab his next dose of sedation because he was due for it. I just nodded and kept on watching him. Well, he woke up - wide awake - and extubated himself. Even though he was restrained, he just reached up and *pop* it was out and he was breathing on his own. I was dumbfounded and just sort of stood there with my mouth open attracting flies. ;) When the nurse came back I told her what he had done and she mirrored my expression and said, "Oh my." After she spoke with the Neonatologist, he said that they could leave him extubated and see how he did. He was never intubated again after that.

From that point on, things went that way for Elliott. He decided he was done with his IV and *pop*. This was not long after he extubated himself so went with the same idea of "Let's see how he does. Maybe he knows more about how he's doing than we do." Then went the feeding tube.

It was towards the end of his stay. All he really had left to do was gain weight and learn to nurse or take so many oz per feeding. Well since I wanted to nurse exclusively that made it kind of hard to do the whole "take so many oz per feeding". Rob wanted me to give him bottles of pumped milk just so we could get him out of the hospital sooner, which I understand now. But then it just pissed me off. If I was going to nurse exclusively once we got home didn't it make more sense to make sure he was going to get the hang of it now while we are at the hospital and are going to be aware if his weight drops or something?! I didn't want him to stay in the hospital but at the same time I didn't want to give him bottles to get him home to start nurse exclusively and have everything come undone. It was the topic of a great many debates and battles between Rob and I during those last few days. In the end, he was nursing well. He didn't want the bottle once he figured out the nursing. And he was gaining small amounts of weight so they let us go home anyway. :)

All told Elliott Richard spent 10 days in the NICU. Those were some of the longest 10 days of my life.

Life...Ever Changing

2009-08-16T03:49:00.000-04:00

Everyday in the Cheerio household brings about a new sort of "normal". I use that term loosely of course. Our lives are in a constant state of flux. Mostly because of Gavin, not that I'm saying everything is his fault because it isn't. It's just that a majority of the time our lives revolve around Gavin and his needs. Some days the flux is caused because of me and my needs. However, mostly, our lives revolve around Gavin. His moods. His needs. His whims. His fits of anger. His fits, period. His appointments. Him, in general.

I feel like as soon as we get one thing under control here. One thing stablized. Everything else hits a huge wave and smashes into a million pieces. Then we are left clinging to that one thing we managed to stablize while we scramble to gather the other million pieces and try to put them back together. Only it feels as if we are trying to put them back together, in the dark, without glue, without directions and honestly, without any real idea of what they were in the first place. All the while that one stablized thing, whatever it was, is slipping away so slowly that we don't notice until it's gone.

Six Word Saturday #6

2009-08-15T16:07:00.005-04:00

Writer's Block? Writer's Coma? Going CRAZY!

Heard my inspiration! Then lost it!

Frustrated

2009-08-14T19:08:00.004-04:00

I'm still trying to write about 5 other posts at the moment about various topics ranging from myself to Gavin to other things I can't remember at the moment. However, I've been side-tracked and it's frustrating me! There is a blog I frequent that I simply adore. Sarah at To define is to limit (a title which I also adore) has a graphic on her blog, which she gave me permission to borrow a while ago I just haven't gotten around to swiping it yet. This is what it looks like:

In case you are unable to read it, it says:

"I write for the same reason I breathe...because if I didn't, I would die."

Now I know this may not make complete sense to some of you. To others you are likely shaking your heads, saying, "Yeah, that about sums her up." Trust me what I tell you, this is me. I love to write. I live to write. Writing is who I am. Or at least it was, before I had three children.

Now writing is a dormant part of my soul. Every so often, it twitches. Like a heart that is attempting to regain it's rhythm. Sometimes I get this nagging, in the farthest recesses of my mind and imagination. Begging me to let it out, to write it and set it free.

This isn't a spontaneous occurance. It doesn't just happen. At least, not to me, anyway. It takes a spark. Something to awaken it from it's long dormant state. To nudge it and jolt it out of the coma I forced it into 9+ years ago. For whatever reason, Twilight appears to have been that.

I felt the twitch. Although I can't quite remember when. I think it was somewhere between Books 3 and 4 but I can't be sure. The twitch came. The nagging followed. Now I'm scrambling.

I'm dying to write. I literally feel as if my soul is shriveling up from within. But theywon'thelpme! The twitch. The nagging. Aren'thelpingme! I don't know where to start. I don't know what to write. I don't know if you've noticed or not, but my grammar SUCKS! Which is funny and ironic because grammar is a huge pet peeve of mine, but again I digress.

So here I sit. Frustrated to the point of wanting to scream and pull my hair out by the roots. None of my friends or family are really writers, so no help there. I'm trying music. Nothing.

Am.

Frustrated.

So if I'm not around for a while. If I'm not here. I'm not blogging. I'm not commenting. This is why. I've been trying to ease my frustration with blogging and it's not working. So now, I'm off to find something else.

Plus, I just needed to vent. ARGH!

(***Update*** And now I've swiped the image and it's posted to the blog. Both in this post and above my picture to the right. You were worried. I know. Rest peacefully now. ;) lol)

I Don't Wednesday!

2009-08-12T09:36:00.004-04:00

Since I finished the Twilight Series I have been blog surfing something fierce, which is not a good thing. Except for the fact that my fibromyalgia is so bad at the moment that I'm basically on bed rest again so I have plenty of time to read blogs. But I digress. (You're shocked, I know. lol) As I've been blog surfing today I found what is apparently a rather popular blog entitled, Jenna's Journey Blog. Every Wednesday, as her infant son Brayden allows, she does a meme that she calls "I Don't Wednesday". It's kind of like MckMama's "Not Me Monday" only you list the things that you don't do rather than the things you did but wish you hadn't. Since I'm in such a blogging mood lately but I'm struggling with the blogs I really want to write, I figured, "Hey, it's Wednesday. It's my blog. So, why not." :)

And away we go! :)

I don't... fold, sort and put my laundry away as soon as I take it out of the dryer. (Rob wishes I would though. lol)

I don't... wear dresses or skirts. (Again, Rob wishes I would though.)

I don't... drink milk. (Ick.)

I don't... tolerate ignorance well. (Or much at all, if we're being completely honest about it.)

I don't... want to hear anymore about Obama, his "health plan", the people it will "help" (never mind those it's screwing), his popularity rating, his Presidency thus far or any combination thereof. (I'm Obama'ed OUT! Seriously. No more! UNCLE!)

Tuesday Toot #9

2009-08-11T06:46:00.002-04:00

Granted, it's only 6:48am but I've managed to stay awake with Elliott Richard since 3:30 this morning.

Hey, it's my Tuesday Toot! and in my book that counts! (lol)

Mr. Emmett John's Little "Hide-Away"

2009-08-11T04:00:00.006-04:00

Like most households in America we have an entertainment center/TV stand. Also like a lot of households in America we have an infant/to-be-toddler. So while our entertainment center/TV stand is sturdy enough to hold the television is wasn't built to withstand the force of "The Tank". Now our television is on a dinning room table in an attempt to protect Mr. Emmett John during his adventures. So I suppose it was only a matter of time before our makeshift TV stand became Emmett John's Hide-Away. (lol)

"Look calm, cool and collected. Remain cool while you check out the new "digs". Do not act interested. But let's face it, beggers can't be choosers here. In a 3 bedroom house with 2 adults, 3 kids, 1 medium-large dog and 1 cat "private quiet space" is a luxury few of us find anymore."

"When they least expect it, make a break for it! Begin moving

into your Hide-Away as quickly and quietly as possible."

"Make sure it's stocked with a few of your favorite toys. That way you don't always have to share them anymore. "Share" being a term that is used loosely here, of course."

"Be sure to stash some snacks. (We won't ask where or how.) All the great Hide-Aways have snacks!"

" Abort! Abort! Abort!

Hide-Away has been discovered! Elder sibling figures are approaching and closing in fast! Abandon ship! Abondon ship! Abandon ship!"

It was cute and really funny to watch him crawl under there and have his own little Hide-Away, at first. Then he found Daddy's speaker, which Emmett John thought was a giant block that someone had left just for him. Obviously! So he began to play with it. (Oy.) And then he found the surge protector. I wasn't worried at first because there weren't any open outlets and it's pretty difficult to unplug what's in there. He didn't show any interest in any of that anyway. He had eyes for only one thing. The Power Switch. It glowed bright orange, what baby wouldn't be drawn to it? Obviously, he had to push it.

*Poof*

Television, stereo, satellite, internet, PS3 - everything - off. It scared the life out of me until I saw Mr. Emmett John crawling out of his Hide-Away as fast as his chubby little limbs would carry him. (lol) So now the Hide-Away is blocked off. But it was cute and fun while it lasted.

Mr. Emmett John, Our Busy Little Bee

2009-08-11T00:01:00.005-04:00

I finally finished that post I've been working on for 5 days now so I figured I would started catching up with some pictures. :) Enjoy! :)

So Rob, Trisha and I were hanging out tonight just watching television and doing a whole lot of nothing special. When Trisha starts to laugh. Rob and I look up to find this:

Picky, picky! Only the "special" treasures were chosen. Wish I knew what the criteria were. (lol)

Okay so this picture is kind of blurry but Emmett John moves quick! (lol) He worked his way around the living room. Gathering the toys he wanted. Leaving those he didn't want behind. One-by-one he would crawl over to it. Pick it up. Crawl back to the swing. Place it in the seat. And then go back for the next treasure. Over and over until all of the treasures he wanted were in his seat.

The last "crowning jewel" on top was his sippy of cold water. :)

What really cracked us up was the few times he went so far as to lay flat on his belly to retreive a long forgotten treasure from under the couch to add to his collection.

Mr. Emmett John with his "treasures" all neatly gathered in his swing seat where he placed them, one by one.

Sometimes, he honestly amazes me with the things he comes up with at 13 months old! Then I get a little scared because I wonder what the next 17-20 years are going to bring. You see what I'm sayin'? (lol)

Twitter-isms

2009-08-10T23:49:00.002-04:00

Elliott Richard: Pass it on, Mommy! Pass it on!

Translation: Skip the commercials, Mommy! Skip the commercials!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Elliott Richard: Mommy, my blankets are wiggly.

Translation: Mommy, my blankets are bunched up.

Please forgive me...

2009-08-10T22:02:00.002-04:00

I have been working on a blog for the last week or so. It is sort of out-dated now, however, I will still post it because I still want to remember the info later. There are many things I want to share but my fibromyalgia has been flaring up. So in an effort to lose myself and escape the pain, I've been lost in the Stephenie Meyer Twilight Series. I must admit that while I am a die hard Potterite, I was never so engrossed in that series as I find myself engrossed in this one. It has been heavenly to have some place to...escape to and "get away" from the pain for a little while. Now I have finished the four books in that she has released in the series so far (There is some speculations and drama surrounding the fifth book, Midnight Sun, which you can read more about on her website.) and I feel lost. The bad news is that I feel like I don't have a getaway from my pain any longer. The good news is that I can finish the post I started a week or so ago and post about the other things that have been bouncing around in my head. I can also post a ton of pictures and videos I've pulled off my cell phone, including but not limited to Mr. Emmett John's First Birthday! :)

And so, I apologize, yet again, for my absence. I was lost in the land of Forks, WA and Bella, Edward, Jacob, Alice and the rest of the Cullens et al. But I am back now....until I find another book to grab my interest and distract my mind. ;)

It's A Major Award!

2009-08-06T22:06:00.003-04:00

Check it out! It's a Major Award! And I got one! Yippee! Farrah over at Wife and Mom of 3 was kind enough to bestow it upon me. Now I am going to bestow it upon 5 of my nearest and dearest...in now particular order...

El at Profoundly Seth

Carla at Masto Mama

Trisha at Minivan Mayhem-The Postlewait Papers

Merrilee at Liars and Frogs

and

Katrina at My Life as a Married Girl

Enjoy ladies! :)

3 sick boys, 2 ped appts, 1 fibro flare & a baby on the way

2009-08-06T09:56:00.005-04:00

(You're supposed to sing the title to the tune of "The 12 Days of Christmas".)

3 Sick Boys

Yes, you read that correctly all three of my boys are sick, again. Isn't that always how it seems to go in the Cheerio household though? I'm not sure if it's better this way or not. I guess it is. I know it would definitely be much easier without the #1 down there. But I digress.

Elliott Richard

Elliott Richard was first. For all the "gory details" see this post here. He will finish up his antibiotics tomorrow. Yippee! Because even though he's on the "bubble gum" meds that most kids love he's 3 and a terrorist and therefore he enjoys being difficult.

Things were just starting to return to "normal" (not a term that usually applies to our household). Meaning that Elliott Richard was sleeping in his bed rather than on the couch in the living room with Daddy. He was sleeping through the night again. Wasn't super whiney or clingy. He was himself again. He seems to be doing much better. Although he's developing a cough, but I'll get to that in a moment.

So things were starting to look up...and then...

Emmett John

Emmett John, never one to be out-done in anything, was next. Friday afternoon he spiked a fever. By Friday night, his fever was 102.8. By Saturday morning it was 103.2 so off to see Dr. Beth we went. No ear infection or strep. It was just a virus. She said to let it run it's coarse and by Monday the fever should be gone. If Monday morning the fever was still there or his cold symptom had returned, I was to bring him back in.

So we suffered the weekend. No one slept. Emmett John screamed a lot. I considered clawing my eyes out and super-gluing my ears shut. But decided against it in the end. We all survived (I use that term loosely).

Monday morning, always the over-achiever, Emmett John still had his fever and his cold symptoms had returned with avengance so off we went to see Dr. M. But really, let's be honest here, what's a week in the Cheerio household without a visit (or two or three - keep reading) to the pediatricians' office? He checked out our young bebe and thought for sure he had strep throat so he did the swabs - rapid and 48hr. Both ended up coming back negative.

So now he's just a super-clingy grump. He doesn't really want to eat. But he downs water and juice like they are going out of style. He's exhausted but won't sleep. Wants to snuggle but doesn't want held. My fellow mommies out there know this drill well. *sigh*

Gavin

Then of course, Gavin had to jump on the bandwagon. Although truthfully, it's not like he had much of a choice, with two sick little brothers the odds were stacked against him in a major way. So a week or so ago Gavin developed a cough. As the week went on the cough got worse. The problem that Patty brought to our attention at our appointment on Tuesday was timing. The cough started about the same time that Dr. R increased Gavin's dose of Zyprexa. Patty was worried that the Zyprexa was possibly that Gavin is over-medicated and it's causing decreased respiratory function. Of course, I mean what else would you expect from a Cheerio Child?!

So I called and made an appointment with Dr. M. The appointment was actually going to work three ways. Here's what they are and why:

a.) If Gavin is over-medicated, the dose will be changed.

b.) If Gavin is sick, hopefully it's something that will be fixed with anti-biotics.

c.) Everytime Gavin gets a tickle in his throat he proclaims that he has asthma, which he does not.

So I was hoping to find answers to all three of those when we met with Dr. M. Although truth be told, Dr. H has already told Gavin on numerous occasions that he does not have asthma. Heck, even his original pediatrician Dr. Mike told him he didn't have asthma. But he's still convinced that he does.

So we went. We saw. We talked. Some of us more than others. Dr. M asked Gavin a bunch of questions to rule out asthma, which he was able to do, again. Then as Dr. M and I were talking about the cough - when it came on, the meds he's taking etc - Gavin kept jumping in with random Aspie statements. "I like pancakes." Things that given the given the context of the conversation really didn't make much sense. Gotta love those Aspies. :)

Dr. M checked him out and let us know that:

a.) He is not over-medicated. Huge relief there.

b.) He is sick.

c.) He also does not have asthma, although I don't know that this will put an end to the debate.

Apparently, Gavin has some funky form of bronchitis. The normal anti-biotics won't work on it because of the cell walls or something. And the anti-biotic they would normally prescribe is Zythromax or something in that family but Gavin is allergic to those. Even if he weren't he can't take them because they increase the levels of the Zyprexa in his blood stream. So he's on an anti-biotic I've never heard of before, which after three boys (especially Emmett John) I didn't think that was possible. lol And I have to take him back on Monday so that Dr. M can listen to his lungs and make sure that he's improving etc.

Back to Emmett John

Now we get to go back to the pediatrician today. In the last 24hrs Emmett John has developed a rash that started on his back so I thought it was heat rash. Then it began to creep. It creeped to his sides, stomach and now it's creeping down both arms and legs. So I called and talked to Paula, one of the lovely nurses, and she talked to Dr. M. He said that he felt Emmett John should be seen because of Gavin and Elliott Richard both being sick. So at 4:15pm we will be back at the pediatrician's office. This time we get to see Dr. H though. Yippee! So we'll see what that brings us. Oy vay.

2 Ped Appointments

Yeah, it was 2 ped appts if you only counted Emmett John with Dr. M on Monday and Gavin with Dr. M yesterday. However, if you count Emmett John with Dr. Beth on Saturday and now Emmett John today. The grand total is now 4 ped appts but that doesn't work with my title at all. ;) lol

1 Fibromyalgia Flare

Yeah, that would be me. Of course, who else would it be. I love living in Ohio. Really, I do. Lately though, this weather, it's killing me. The ups and the downs - the weather is just crazy and it's downright killing me. I've been flaring off and on for nearly 2 weeks now. But that's another post entirely, believe me.

A Baby on the Way

Okay, so he's not so much "on the way" anymore because I started this post 5 days ago and let's face it, that's kind of a long time for active labor! (Ouch!) On Thursday, August 6th my cousin Sam went into labor with her second child, first boy. If you would like to see his stats and a picture of him head on over to her blog. Try and prepare yourself though ~ seriously.

Welcome to the World and to the Family, Mr. Evander Benjamin!

Whose Ear Infection was that Again?!

2009-07-29T17:18:00.002-04:00

Some of you may remember me posting here about Mr. Emmett John and his ear infection that would not die and the very real possibility of him having to get tubes. Well, Trish and I took him to see his ENT Dr. KR this morning. He's been a real crank butt lately so I was afraid the nasty infection has returned.

WRONG! :)

Dr. KR said that his ear are clear and perfect! He went on to say that most kids get their ear infections in the winter and the fact that Emmett John has had this many nasty ones in the summer could indicate that winter is going to be particularly nasty for him. But "he's not God, that's just his educated opinion". Those are his exact words. lol

He said that the next time Emmett John gets an ear infection to have Dr. H call him and he'll arrange for the tubes. Or we can call him and say "That's it! We're done! Put the tubes in because we can't take it anymore!" lol Either way, he'll set it up and get it done. So for now, we wait and see.

Then, not one to be out-done, Elliott Richard has been feeling under the weather for the past few days. I've been trying desperately to get ahead of it by drying him up with Benedyl at night. I lost. Yesterday, he woke up and started coughing and hacking. Then last night he went to bed. Fell asleep. Woke up vomitting like 15 minutes later.

I called Dr. H this morning and got him in at 2pm. Rob took him because Emmett John and I were exhausted and napping. Turns out that Elliott Richard now has the ear infection. Oy vay. So he's on Amoxicilian and napping right now, which means he'll either never sleep tonight or sleep like the dead tonight. With Elliott Richard you just never know.

Ah the joys of life in the Cheerio house.

Today's Twitter-ims

2009-07-28T16:36:00.003-04:00

Elliott Richard: Mommy, Dammy's here!

(His cousin Danny was at the door.)

Elliott Richard: (screaming through the door) Dammy! I ate a bug a boogers!

(He tries to open the door.)

Elliott Richard: Mommy, I need the keys. This door is locked.

(Gavin gets up to try and help him. Elliott Richard pushes him back.)

Elliott Richard: No, Gavin! Dammy is MY'S COUSIN not your's!

(I let Danny in.)

Elliott Richard: Dammy, I eat a bug and boogers!

(Danny talks to Trisha.)

Danny: Bye guys. Elliott, don't eat bugs and boogers. Please!

Tuesday Toot

2009-07-28T14:22:00.002-04:00

Today...

I got a referral to Pain Management from my PCP. Yay!

Blog Hoppin' ~ #1 Favorite Kid Photos

2009-07-28T12:14:00.005-04:00

Blog Hop - Favorite Kid Photo 7/28/2009

Description: This week's Blog Hop theme is "Favorite Kid Photos". You can have one or more of your favorite photos your kids, grandkids, someone else's kid or even YOU when you were a kid. Funny, precious, heartwarming... your favorite!

Maggie Sue is my fur baby. She loves the hose! Rob turns it on. Maggie attacks! It's hilarious.

Gavin's a crazy, arms-flailing, pants-falling, fish-out-of-water, sprinkler jumping fool! :)

Mr. Emmett John quite possibly the cutest, sweetest, sneakiest little biter around.

Elliott Richard is the talkative, schemeing, planning, thinking, double-checking, rechecking, not-at-all-sure if he really wants to jump over the sprikler...nah, maybe I'll just touch it instead.

Not Me Monday My Three Sons

2009-07-27T14:27:00.003-04:00

Today is Monday. Normally, I would partake in "Not Me Monday" with all the rest of MckMama's many faithful readers/followers. However, MckMama, Prince Charming, Stellan and the rest of the MckCharming Clan are currently in the middle of a rather...well shitty situation. Stellan is very sick and needs everyone's prayers and happy thoughts and "get better soon vibes" and whatever else you care to send his way. His doctors could use prayers for wisdom and inner peace because I can't imagine that treating a child that young and small and so sick is a very easy thing to do. MckMama and Prince Charming could use some of those prayers etc for peace of heart, peace of mind, and peace of spirit. I can't even imagine what this must be like for them. And then of course for the elder MckSibs, if you could pray for peace and age-appropriate understanding for them.

So in leu of Not Me Monday, I have decided to start my own little Meme this week. I am going to do: My 3 Sons. All I'm going to do is list my boys one-by-one and then I'll list some random things I love about them. This week I'm going to focus on little personality traits they have that I love. Next week, maybe I focus on silly things they say or funny connections they've made. And so it shall go. Now if anyone chooses to play along (please feel free) just mention where you got the idea and link back to me. And if you don't have 3 sons then change it to match what you do have - 3 daughters, 3 babies, 3 kids etc. Heck you could play with My 3 Cats if you wanted to. :) Anyway, without further ado....away we go! :)

My 3 Sons

Gavin

~ He sleeps fully clothed (long sleeve shirt, pants, socks) every night under a comforter even in the middle of summer (we don't have A/C and yes, we've tried to get him to stop - he won't).

~ He has the most vivid imagination of any child (myself included) I have ever known.

~ He loves with his whole heart, unconditionally.

Elliott Richard

~ He talks non-stop...including right up to the very moment he falls asleep at night.

~ He loves to brush his teeth.

~ He loves the sprinkler but he won't run through it - he'll run right up to it but never through.

Emmett John

~ He snorts when he laughs really hard.

~ When he's tired but not overly so, he sings himself to sleep.

~ As he's learning to climb up on the couch, he's also discovered that if he bites someone already sitting on the couch they make a good anchor while he climbs!

Well there's my first entry into My 3 Sons. I hope you enjoy reading about my babes as much as I enjoy raising them. :)

Google It

2009-07-26T09:13:00.005-04:00

25 Jul 10:16:31 AM www.google.com ear infection antibiotics
24 Jul 07:11:17 PM www.google.ca i believe that faith has brought us here
23 Jul 09:24:12 PM www.google.com dryer cheerios
23 Jul 03:12:52 PM www.google.com compassionate weaning
22 Jul 06:55:16 PM www.google.com cheerios confession
19 Jul 11:40:58 AM www.google.com johnny sado
17 Jul 05:02:56 PM www.google.com weaning cold turkey
17 Jul 08:19:25 AM www.google.com excema from cheerios
17 Jul 12:01:26 AM www.google.com aspergers stop the screaming chores
15 Jul 12:30:17 PM www.google.com i had biweekly biophysical profile and autism
9 Jul 03:09:48 PM www.google.com cheerios and farting
7 Jul 11:47:25 AM www.google.ca john emmett physician chronic pain
2 Jul 06:09:53 PM www.google.pl masochistic puppy

Saturday 9 - #1 Fast Car

2009-07-25T06:13:00.004-04:00

Saturday 9: Fast Car

1. What’s the furthest trip you’ve taken by automobile? The trip out west to Texas and Oklahoma with my parents and Grandma when I was a kid.

2. What’s the worst pick up line you've ever received? Oh, I don't even remember.

3. What’s the best pick up line you’ve gotten? It's been so long since I heard one that I can't remember this either. Sorry. (And how sad does this make me sound. lol)

4. What was the last gift that you received? A St. Dymphna medal with a beautiful silver chain and a St. Dymphna coin/medal to carry in my pocket/purse/diaper bag. My (birth) Mom got them for me for my 29th birthday because St. Dymphna is the patron saint of anxiety, nervous and mental disorders and she was trying to show her support for everything I've been going through lately, which I thought was pretty sweet. Plus it was my first birthday gift from her. Except for the actual gift of life that is. :) lol

5. What was the last gift that you gave someone? The last one that I actually remember was Elliott Richard's mini-DVD player for his birthday in March. I know there have been other gifts given since then. I just can't seem to remember them to save my life right now.

6. Tell us about the last time you cried. Yesterday. I've been in the midst of a fibro flare that was so bad it hurt to even be touched. So of course, all Emmett John wanted to do was sit on my lap and snuggle.

7. Tell us about the last time you laughed uncontrollably. It was just the other day at my insurance agent's office. I was there to fix a paperwork snaffu with my life insurance and had to take a DNA-type-cheek-swab-test to prove I don't have HIV/AIDS, don't smoke etc. Well, there was something about the whole cheek-swab test thing that just got to us and we couldn't stop laughing. It was hilarious...to us. ;)

8. Do you suffer road rage? What are your thoughts on it? It depends on what's happening on any given day. But yes, there are times that I suffer road rage. It truly is one of more useless emotions in life. It doesn't help you drive more effectively or anything of that nature. It just makes you more of a danger to yourself and others on the road. Myself, included in that assessment.

9. What’s one of your favorite movie quotes?
“Harry, suffering like this proves you are still a Man! This pain is a part of being human--”“THEN—I –DON’T—WANT—TO—BE—HUMAN!” Harry roared, and he seized one of the delicate silver instruments from the spindle-legged table beside him and flung it across the room. It shattered into a hundred tiny pieces against the wall. Several of the pictures let out yells of anger and fright, and the portrait of Armando Dippet said, “Really!”“I DON’T CARE!” Harry bellowed at them, snatching up a lunascope and throwing it into the fireplace. “I’VE HAD ENOUGH, I’VE SEEN ENOUGH, I WANT OUT, I WANT IT TO END, I DON’T CARE ANYMORE!” …“You do care,” said Dumbledore. He had not flinched or made a single move to stop Harry demolishing his office. His expression was calm, almost detached. “You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it.” ~Harry Potter & Albus Dumbledore
This is my all-time favorite movie quote hands down because it fits me so perfectly.

And that, ladies and germs, is my first official Saturday 9. I know Memes aren't "real" blogs but sometimes they are all I'm able to churn out. And as you can see looking back, I have trouble churning them out most of the time. But I've always had a weak-spot for questions (I *heart* questions!) so when I stumbled upon this Meme, I simply had to join! :)

Six Word Saturday #5

2009-07-25T01:01:00.000-04:00

Please God let this flare end.

Twitterisms

2009-07-24T18:43:00.002-04:00

I'm sorry I'm a loud coffee-maker. ~ I'm sorry I'm a loud cough-maker.

Green Grandma ~ My birthmother Mary

(He gave her this name because her car is a green-ish color. Now everytime he sees a car that looks similar to hers he squeals "Grandma Mary?!")

Last night I was putting him to bed for the night. This is part of our conversation:

Me: I love you, Boo-boo.

Elliott Richard: I love you too, Mommy. And I loves my Daddy. And I loves my toys. And Ennett John. And I loves my penis. Good night.

Me: Uh...yeah...so, good night Boo-boo.

Is that a light I see at the end of this tunnel?

2009-07-22T17:58:00.003-04:00

Or is it a train?!

Seriously, given my luck, I hope it's not a train.

I took Mr. Emmett John to see Dr. H this morning at 10:15am. (I also doubled booked myself without realizing it and missed my appointment with my therapist but I digress.) He checked out both of Emmett's ears and said they look good. They aren't perfect by any means but they look "like ears that are on the mend rather than getting worse again".

Yay!

At first he was under the impression that Mr. Emmett John has had a few more ear infections then just these last few. So he wanted me to push Dr. KR for the tubes next week. After he looked back through his medical records, he changed his mind. Now he wants me to be sure and mention it to Dr. KR and if he looks at Emmett's ears and they are infected again, even after finishing the Augmentin, then he wants me to push for the tubes. Other wise he said to just follow Dr. KR's lead on what to do.

So for now, there is hope! :)

For now, there is a light at the end of the tunnel!

I just hope it isn't a train...please keep praying!

Tuesday Toot!

2009-07-21T21:49:00.002-04:00

Today, I survived.

I also informed my mother (Barb) that my birth mother (Mary) is becoming more involved in my life, which includes Rob and the boys. (That went over like a lead balloon. But more about that in another post.)

I took a nap.

I found a new layout that fits me.

(I suppose it's the little things, right?)

Please excuse my mess...Again.

2009-07-21T21:42:00.002-04:00

Yes, I know. I know. I just redecorated way back when but the fact of the matter is that while I loved that layout, it simply wasn't me. So I've spent today looking for a layout that I felt fit me. I've finally found it! However, now it's going to take 84,000 hours to get all of my widgets back in place and reordered. But that's okay, because I like doing this part. :)

Yeah, so anyway, if you would be so kind as to excuse my mess, again. I would appreciate it. I should only be for a little while longer now.

Thanks. :)

Cheerio Confessions

Moving on...

Bold Faced Liar Creative Writer Award

Failure to Launch

The Bathroom Meme ~ Stolen from Jennifer at BPD in OKC

Fibro Hell

February Nablopomo

Oops!

What *IS* the language of Emmett John?!

Speaking the Language of Mr. Emmett John ~ Round 2

What's 1 more?

"My heart's having a meltdown." (Also titled PLEASE PRAY!)

Tuesday Toot

I'm done.

How much is "too much"?

Have you seen THIS boy?

Six Word Saturday #12

Cheerio Family Christmas 2009

Christmas 2009 at Home in photos

Tuesday Toot

Speaking the language of Emmett John

If Comments could talk, what would they ask Santa for Christmas?

I Don't Wednesday ~ #6 KetZchup

To my wife.......

Six Word Saturday

Patiently

Goofing off with a Terrorist

Please forgive me

Tuesday Toot

Six Word Saturday #11

Saturday 9 #6 ~ Jealousy

Small Talk Six #4 ~ 6 things (good or bad) that you credit your mother-in-law for

Friday Fill-In #5

I Don't Wednesday #5 Food

Ketchup

Six Word Saturday #10

Small Talk Six #3 ~ 6 of your favorite sweet treats in the whole world

Thursday 13 ~ 13 Things for the Future I'm Hoping For

I Don't Wednesday #4 Regrets

Honest Scrap

Small Talk Six #2 ~ 6 unconventional things you think people should celebrate by throwing a party

Saturday 9 #4 ~ Lie to Me

Six Word Saturday #9

Google it...

Friday Fill-In #4

I Don't Wednesday #3 Things I Just Don't Understand

Bye bye bye!

Thursday Thirteen ~ 13 Shows I'll Always Love

How much is TOO much?

Look what I made

Gavin's 7 Rules

Big News

Quickie update

I remember.......

Thursday 13 ~ Reasons I Married Rob

Tuesday Toot #11 ~ September Comment Challenge

Six Word Saturday #8

Saturday 9 ~ #3 Waiting

Friday Fill Ins #2

Thursday 13 ~ Things I Can't Live Without

Thank You, Governor Strickland.

Small Talk Six #1 ~ 6 Things You'll Miss (Or Not) About Summer

Six Word Saturday #7

Saturday 9 ~ #2 I Ran

Friday Fill Ins #1

Tuesday Toot #10 ~ License Oopsie

Not Me Monday

The Story of Elliott Richard ~ The NICU

Life...Ever Changing

Six Word Saturday #6

Frustrated

I Don't Wednesday!

Tuesday Toot #9

Mr. Emmett John's Little "Hide-Away"

Mr. Emmett John, Our Busy Little Bee

Twitter-isms

Please forgive me...

It's A Major Award!

3 sick boys, 2 ped appts, 1 fibro flare & a baby on the way

Whose Ear Infection was that Again?!

What IS the language of Emmett John?!

Is that a light I see at the end of this tunnel?