Cheerio Confessions

Just got home from my NST, BPP and appointment with Dr. D. Things went well. (Yay!) We had the BPP first. Tiny is looking good. She didn't take measurements because she does those every two weeks and we just measured him on Thursday. So he'll get measured next week at the hospital. He was such a trooper. Breathing as soon as we started and then breathing through the whole BPP. He was moving his hands and fingers around. He's still head down and from what I can tell "locked and loaded". Barb was trying to get us a picture of his profile and it was so cute because the umbilical cord was right in front of his mouth (the cord looks like bubbles on an ultrasound) and Tiny had his lips puckered so it looked like he was blowing bubbles! (lol) Barb tried to get a picture of it for us but she couldn't get a good one because my hip bone was in the way (that's how far "head down" he is!). It was so cute to see though. So Tiny passed his BPP with flying colors again. (Double yay!)

After the BPP we had the NST. I passed even though I had 3 contractions during the half hour test. Tiny was moving around and his heartrate was having all the appropriate decells and whatnot. I think he only moves because the monitors on my belly make him so angry; other wise I don't know that he'd move that much. (lol) Those 3 contractions were kicking my butt though. It was bad enough that I woke up with morning sickness again this morning. Then the contractions were making my back hurt and giving me cramps. It sucked.

Once we finished up with the NST we got to see Dr. D for a minutes. I asked him about the return of the evil morning sickness. He said it was normal. I told him I have been taking my phenergan for it. He said, "Oh the 12.5mg?" I laughed and told him that I was taking the full 25 mg and I was lucky if that took the edge off, forget about getting rid of it. (lol)

Now we just hang out until next week. I have to go to the hospital next Wednesday for my BPP and NST because Barb is on vacation. Then I see Dr. D on Thursday to go over the results. (Yay!) I can't wait to see how much he's grown in two weeks. :)

The Stats
Weight: 179lb
at least I managed to maintain my weight with the return of the morning sickness)BP: 96/63
Tiny's Heartrate: 137bpm
Fundal Height: 33 cm
(right on target which is good considering he's already head down and locked in place)
BPP: Passed
NST: Passed (only 3 contractions)

After we finished up at Dr. D's office we had to stop and pay a bill. Then Rob took me for Chic-Fil-A on our way back to Mom and Dad G's to pick up Elliott Richard. (It was being delivered to Dr. D's office as we were leaving and it smelled heavenly!) We hung out at Mom's for a little while. I finished off my lunch. Elliott Richard took bites from each end of his kickin' strips. Then we headed for school to pick Gavin up.

I admit it. I cheated. I went in to the school and said Hi to everyone. It was so great to be there! I can't even tell you how much I have missed picking Gavin up and seeing everyone 5 days a week. That was by far the best "pick me up" I've had in a while. (Not that the sprinkle wasn't an awesome "pick me up" because it was. It was just different.) Plus, not to sound completely narcissistic here but it was nice just to be missed. (lol)

Now I'm back at home with my feet up. Just like I'm supposed to be. I'm trying to listen to the radio on the internet but they are being difficult! The only one I can get to work is MSN/Pandora's and they don't have a very large selection. It's mostly mainstream rock/pop/r&B stuff, which I don't really care for. I was looking for a good christian pop station but they don't seem to exist. :(

Lisa just left. Only 3 more 17P injections to go! (Woo who!) Apparently since my 18th shot would have fallen on 36 weeks and 6 days my insurance company doesn't see the benefit. Dr. D agrees so it's all good. Plus let's face it, it's one less shot for me! (Yay!)

The Stats
BP: 100/60
Tiny's Heartrate: 130bpm

I've got an appointment at 10:20am for my weekly BPP and NST. I can't wait to see Tiny again! :) Hopefully we pass with flying colors again.

I need to scan last weeks BPP pics and post them. I also have some of the sprinkle pictures ready but I need to upload them before I can post them. Maybe I'll get it all done this afternoon.

You know for a woman on bed rest, you'd think I'd have plenty of time to get all this done. But you'd be surprised how much I have to do. And how difficult it is to do most of it on bed rest.

85 days down ~ 50 to go
13 injections down ~ 4 to go
12 weeks down ~ 6 to go

Seriously. I quit. I'm done. I want out. I want a new life. If anyone knows of any crimes I can witness that will get us into the Witness Protection Program...please let me know. Because right now, that's the only way I see out of this disaster.

So far we have spent $400.00 on trying to fix this disaster that passes for a "house". When last I updated on "The Leak" we were trying to figure out how we were going to afford to replace 2 toilets for an additional $400.00. Apparently, once again, that was the least of our concerns.

After the guy snaked the lines everything was running much better. We breathed a sigh of relief. We dared to think that maybe, just maybe our luck was beginning to turn around. Maybe the rain was going to stop and things were going to get better. *insert insane laughter here* Yeah, right. That might happen if we were talking about someone else's life. But this is MY LIFE. The life where things rarely go as they should. Where the sh*t storms last for weeks and months at a time. This is my life, where "bad" people do bad things and good people get the crap that bad people deserve.

Then we woke up this morning. We used the bathroom because it was fixed, right? WRONG. WRONG. WRONG.

We flushed the toilet twice and everything was working fine. After the third person flushed, everything came back up. When I say everything, I mean everything. The toilet over-flowed so there's stuff on the floor, which happens to be carpeted for reasons beyond my understanding. Stuff flowed back up into the bathtub. And we think, although we aren't sure, that stuff came up/down from somewhere in the 1/2 bath on the first floor. Which means that snaking the line didn't help the issue. Granted, it needed done anyway. However, financially we only can "afford" to what absolutely must be done. And I use the term "afford" very loosely here.

We are, quite literally, drowning in crap at the moment.

*side note* Does anyone know where my slightly altered quote in my title of this blog came from? It's a movie that I haven't watched since my partying days but the quote fits. (It's supposed to be "F*ck you." rather than "Forget you" but I'm trying not to cuss anymore. So "forget you" it is.)

No, I did not have a nervous breakdown. Although, truthfully, I prayed for one all day yesterday. I prayed for the chance to breakdown. Shut down. Unplug. I was (and still am to some extent) so incredibly over-whelmed it is absolutely unreal to me.

I spend yesterday with absolutely no appetite and feeling as if I were on the verge of a panic attack (something I haven't had it ages). I kept trying to "let go" just enough so that I could have the panic attack and get it over with. If you've had a panic attack (or many), then you understand what I'm talking about. The build up, the slow decent into the actual panic attack is far worse than the panic attack itself. My whole body feels as if it's electrically charged. My heart feels like it is going to literally beat right out of my chest. It's the whole fight or flight response. Only if I don't have the actual panic attack, I never get the end result, which means I'm stuck in fight or flight. While some people may be adrenaline junks and always chasing that "high", I am not one of those people. I prefer to be calm and laid back. (And yes, I realize that me preferring to be calm and laid back contradicts the fact that I have ADHD and am constantly on the go. But being "driven" by ADHD and being "driven" by adrenaline are two completely different things.) I spent a lot of yesterday crying. Mainly because I didn't know what else to and because of the pain in my back.

Rob, bless his heart, tried so hard to distract me and help me. But there are times when I can't be helped. No one can lead me through the "crap" but me. And I just wasn't in the mood to wade through anymore crap. (Afterall, I have more than enough of that in my walls. ;) lol) He put the window AC in our bedroom window. He went to the store for milk and juice and brought me home a rootbeer and some ice cream. He played "Bio Shock". But I just didn't want anything to do with any of it.

Then to rub some salt in my wounds, my satellite DVR box is fried. Julie and Susan will understand exactly what this means for me. My TV is my main source of sanity at the moment. (And let's face it, sanity is something that seems to be slipping through my fingers at an alarming rate these days.) I have a DVR full of shows that I want to watch. Nothing doing. I can't use any of the DVR features. I have to watch live TV. *shivers at the thought* (lol)

I love my life. I love my life. I love my life....

83 down ~ 52 to go

This will be a pity party post. It will not be happy or upbeat. Most likely, it will be bitter and sarcastic. You have been warned.

So I posted the other day about "The Leak". Rob and Dad G were able to fix it. (Yay!) It cost us around $200.00 (Boo!) but that's still better than the $5,000.00. (Yay!) Of course, they didn't replace everything. They just replaced the busted out portion. They even managed to fix the wiring so that I have power in my upstairs bathroom. (Yay!) Not that it matters now because the whole sewage line is backed up. (Ew!) When you flush the upstairs toilet it comes out in the bathtub. (Double ew!) When you flush the toilet in the half-bath on the first floor, the whole basement backs up. (Triple ew!)

This whole thing is just gross and disgusting. Not to mention so not what I need right now.

My back is killing me. I now have sciatic pain shootin down both legs and up my spine if I dare to move. I've been taking my medications that are supposed to help. They don't help. They dope me up pretty good so I don't care quite as much about the pain. But the pain is still there. I really hope this pain goes away after Tiny is here. It should. Although I already have arthritis in my back so there's a chance that this stirred all that up. *sigh*

Tomorrow is my sprinkle. I can't do laundry. I don't think I can take a shower right now either. On the bright side, the sprinkle is at my Aunties Paula's house and I can take a shower there if need be. The Roto-Rooter guy is coming some time between now (9:56am) and noon to give an estimate on "The Leak Part Deux". Rob has to go to the grocery store. And Gavin needs to come home from my mom's at some point. I love my life. *sigh*

82 down ~ 53 to go

Today "Sex and the City" movie is showing in theaters everywhere. I have been waiting for this movie for...ages! Sadly, I will not get to go. I have seriously over done things this week and my sprinkle is Sunday...so I really need to just stay down for the next few days. Plus there's the added issue of my sciatic pain is now in both legs at the same time. So I don't know that I would even be able to sit for a full movie without crying. Rob offered to watch it for me and report back. He was kidding but I know he'd do it if I asked. But that's not the same thing.

Oh well, just another thing to add to my "Things I've Missed While on Bed Rest" list. *sigh*

Pretty quiet day.

Rob and Dad G worked on "The Leak" until about 11:00pm last night. We had a bit of a scare at one point...While Dad was cutting through the soil stack he found an "electrifying" surprise. Apparently at some point a previous owner had run some electrical wiring up the back of the soil stack. While cutting the soil stack Dad G also cut the wires! Flippin' idiots! (Whoever ran the wires there. Not Dad G.) Then the problem was that now we had this leak and these sliced, exposed wires! Not a good combo. So Rob and Dad went and found the wires and capped them off to remove the risk. We were definitely lucky though.

"The Leak" is also far worse than we originally thought. It's not a "leak" so much as a 3 foot CRACK splitting the side of the pipe! They were concerned at one point that the crack extended farther down into the wall than they could reach. Luckily, it stopped just shy of "the point of no return". Now Dad G is back and hopefully they are going to be able to finish the repairs tonight. Although it won't help me much since the cut wires supplied power to the bathroom. I swear if it's not one thing, it's another.

We had our first BPP today at 3:00pm. I read up on BPP's yesterday but I still kind of figured they were just another ultrasound. Nope. Barb, the ultrasound tech at Dr. D's office, said that Tiny had 30 minutes to practice breathing twice for 30 seconds each time, show us 3 good movements, have some good accelerations in his heartrate and have plenty of fluid. Barb said we would sit there until we'd seen everything or 30 minutes had passed, which ever came first. Unfortunately, Rob missed most of the ultrasound because my mom was late picking up Elliott Richard. He'll get to see the rest of them though.

It was actually really cool. Tiny has just the right amount of fluid. (Yay!) He was breathing when she started and he didn't stop the entire time! (Yay!) She said it isn't breathing like we do but it helps him prep the right muscles for after birth. It was really cool to watch his little chest rise and fall. I'd never seen that before in an ultrasound. And while it's not an indicator of lung development, it's definitely a good sign! :)

Then she measured his belly, head and femur. According to his measurements he is the size of a 34 week old fetus (he's 32 weeks 1 day). She figured out that he weighed 4 lb 11oz!!! The average for a 32 week fetus is 3 lb 12 oz. So he's almost a full pound ahead! And here I was worried because my fundal height hadn't changed and I've been struggling to gain weight that he might measure small. Turns out he's been keeping all the weight for himself. (lol)

After she measured him, she watched for the movements. I think he only moved because she was poking him and he hates that. (lol) She didn't give us his score but she did say that had passed with flying colors.

Then we spent a little bit of time just checking out what Tiny looks like since Rob got a late start. She gave us 3 pictures, which I need to upload. One picture is of his foot, which was planted in my right ribs (he's head down just like we thought but she said there's a chance he may pop back out). The second picture is of his face looking at us. We even got to see his eye moving while we were looking at his face. (Very cool.) And the third picture is just of his nose and lips. You can see his tiny little squishie nose (who knew my squishie nose would turn out to be a dominant trait?! lol) and his lips! Seriously, we could see his lips all puckered up as if he wanted a kiss. It's too freaking cute!

We go back on Tuesday for our next NST and BPP. She said she won't measure his weight every week because there usually isn't much change. But they do these NST's and BPP's because of my thrombo-something (the reason I develop the blood clots and have to have the Heparin injections). She said the thrombo-whatever it is could cause Tiny to not get enough blood and nutrients through the umbilical cord. So once a week we get to see Tiny. I can't wait! :)

While we were spying on Tiny, my mom took Elliott Richard to pickup my Grammy for ice cream. Then she brought him home. He had fun and it was good for him to get out of the house and see his grandmas for a bit.

*Leak Update* Dad just finished cutting the piece out. He showed it to me once they removed it and it's *obvious* that this leak has been going on for *ages*. The crack appears to be 1/4 - 1/2 inch wide in some spots! That's just insanity! I can't wait for them to finish because this pregnant woman has got to pee! (lol) And Tiny's break dancing is NOT helping.

80 down ~ 55 to go (I think...)

Okay so I usually try and take my bed rest very seriously. Really, I do. But I've been struggling this week.

Sunday - I was good.

Monay - Was Memorial Day and we went to Mom & Dad G's house for a family cookout. I behaved. Really, I did. I only got up to pee or change location. I swear I only changed location twice. About 75% of the day was spent in Dad's super comfy Lazy Boy recliner with my feet up watching others play Wii or playing (from the Lazy Boy) with them.

Tuesday - Lisa came. Dropped Elliott Richard at Mom G's. Saw Dr. D. Visited at Mom G's for a while. Again from a reclining chair with my feet up. Came home and hung out in a funky mood. Went to dinner (got up twice to get food but I would have been up that much at home). Went to Pat Catan's (a locally owned craft store) and walked way more than I should have. Came home. Put Elliott to bed. Took my meds for my back and passed out at about 9-10:00pm.

Today - Got up a totally grump from lack of sleep and loads of pain. Took meds at lunch. Took a nap for 2 hours or so. Got up and helped Rob pickup before Dad G got here to investigate "The Leak". Transferred items (food, toys etc) needed for sanity upstairs to the bedroom. Relocated from living room to bedroom with Elliott Richard and Cleo. Oh and Gavin is also home tonight because my little brother has an awards ceremony tonight. So he's all setup in his room. (Thank God we had satellite installed in there!) Once in the bedroom I began refolding laundry that had become unfolded and putting it away. While Elliott has been playing with toys.

So yes, I supposed that's *technically* considered over-doing it. But at least the laundry is folded and put away. Well, the laundry that has been outgrown and now needs packed away.

Every day I *swear* I'm going to stay down all day. And every day I end up doing things that are definitely probably considered "over-doing it".

As I write this (on my phone) Rob and his dad are tearing into my walls. Examining the extent of the damage from "The Leak". It's bad. Real bad. Far worse than we thought. They left for Home Depot a little bit ago to get the part to patch it. Rob is hopeful that even with it beginning as bad as it is, it's still within reach to be patched. I hope so because until it's fixed, we've lost the use of our full bathroom. "Luckily" we have a 1/2 bath (toilet, sink) in our kitchen. (Don't ask. We didn't put it there.) I can't even begin to list all the things I find wrong with using this bathroom. I just pray that they can patch it. And I pray that my back pain doesn't bring me to tears during my u/s tomorrow. Oh and my "over doing it"...I hope and pray that doesn't cause Tiny to come early. (By the way, I talked to Dr. D's office today and my fFN was NEGATIVE! Woo who! So hopefully that will get us another two weeks of baking...that would take us to 34 weeks. Not bad.)

***Not sure when this will post but it was written late, late Wednesday night. Just so you know that the "today" I refer to is Wednesday, not Thursday.***

What Tiny is up to today: In the latest womb reports, your amazing baby has now developed sensitivity to temperature! This means you’ll probably get a swift kick if you put a hot pad on your ginormous belly. For the Elton John lovers out there-- yes, baby’s got blue eyes. At this point, all babies do, although depending on their chromosomal disposition, this could easily change after birth (or even between now and labor), but for the time being, blue it is. Thanks to their recently matured lungs and a remarkably strong immune system, over 90% of babies born in their 32nd week, survive premature births. So it’s pretty much a done deal. Even if your little monkey’s planning on heading out early, their survival odds are in everyone’s favor. Time to celebrate (no, no, wait until after the birth to crack open the champagne!) We’re talking baby-showers and alcohol-free punch!

Oh and to answer the question some of you have been asking about Tiny's name...I was happy with Alexander. I even thought we may have found a middle name. Then Rob decides that he likes "Reid" and can't live without it. (insert eye roll here) I don't know how I feel about it. As a middle name, maybe. But I don't really care for it as a first name. (Help!)

Good morning. I'm exhausted and still not quite awake, despite having been "awake" for an hour and a half.

Elliott is busy taking my books off my book shelf, stacking them up and knocking them down. I am so sore it is absolutely insane. I woke up at one point last night, as in sat bolt upright from a deep sleep, trying not to scream in pain because I had the worst charlie horse I've had in a while. I felt silly because I was flapping around, trying to smack Rob awake to rub it out for me. (lol) I finally landed a few smacks and woke him up. Although he wasn't exactly awake, he tried to rub it out. He did manage to get it to a tolerable level so I was able to go back to sleep. So now, my leg is still cramped up. My back is cramped up. And for some reason my right arm is killing me!

Today my plan is to work on some things online. Try and make some cards. Eat a lot of food. And generally veg since I seriously over did it on Monday and Tuesday. Fun. Fun.

79 down ~ 56 to go
12 injections down ~ 6 to go
11 weeks down ~ 7 to go