Cheerio Confessions

I've been on my Lyrica for quite a few months now with pretty good results. So I was hopeful. I was hopeful that we had a dose right off the bat that was going to work. I was hopeful that my days of sobbing and crying wishing for death because of a fibro flare were behind me. I was hopeful that maybe when I saw Dr. T later this month he would give me the OK to begin physical therapy, something he won't permit me to do until we have my pain under control for a while with medications. My hopes have been dashed.

For the past few weeks now I've been having a few minor flares here and there. Nothing major by any stretch of the imagination. Certainly nothing I needed extra medications to manage. I just needed to take things a little slower on those days. No big deal. Then there was this past week. I have felt as if I've been run over by a train of teamsters, beaten to a pulp by the best boxers known to mankind, set a flame and left a flame for no other reason than to watch me burn and finally my very badly abused and battered shell is taken and repeatedly crammed into a a very small space (like a coffee mug, or a play dough container, ice cream container etc).

I've been taking my medications but I don't think it's helping at this point. I think the ever colder temperatures and the added stress of Mr. Emmett John's hearing tests and possible hearing loss is just shoving me over the edge; past a point where the Lyrica at my current dose can help me.

Hopefully, Dr. T's office will call me back from the message I left yesterday and let me know what they think and want to try. Because I can't take many more days of collapsing onto the floor in tears and sobs while I ugly cry because I'm in so much pain.

2/28

I don't know where to begin.

Yesterday I took Mr. Emmett John for his 18 month well-baby check-up with Dr. H. Tomorrow I will take him to the Audiologist to have his hearing tested. Physically, he's doing well. He isn't sick. Motor skills are right on track. He's still channeling Jack-Jack, which is absolutely exhausting. I honestly don't know how he does it. One minute he's right next to you then he's gone and there are 6 of him everywhere! On the bright side, his constant movement doesn't seem to be having any effect on his growth...

(You're supposed to sing the title to the tune of "The 12 Days of Christmas".)

3 Sick Boys

Yes, you read that correctly all three of my boys are sick, again. Isn't that always how it seems to go in the Cheerio household though? I'm not sure if it's better this way or not. I guess it is. I know it would definitely be much easier without the #1 down there. But I digress.

Elliott Richard

Elliott Richard was first. For all the "gory details" see this post here. He will finish up his antibiotics tomorrow. Yippee! Because even though he's on the "bubble gum" meds that most kids love he's 3 and a terrorist and therefore he enjoys being difficult.

Things were just starting to return to "normal" (not a term that usually applies to our household). Meaning that Elliott Richard was sleeping in his bed rather than on the couch in the living room with Daddy. He was sleeping through the night again. Wasn't super whiney or clingy. He was himself again. He seems to be doing much better. Although he's developing a cough, but I'll get to that in a moment.

So things were starting to look up...and then...

Emmett John

Emmett John, never one to be out-done in anything, was next. Friday afternoon he spiked a fever. By Friday night, his fever was 102.8. By Saturday morning it was 103.2 so off to see Dr. Beth we went. No ear infection or strep. It was just a virus. She said to let it run it's coarse and by Monday the fever should be gone. If Monday morning the fever was still there or his cold symptom had returned, I was to bring him back in.

So we suffered the weekend. No one slept. Emmett John screamed a lot. I considered clawing my eyes out and super-gluing my ears shut. But decided against it in the end. We all survived (I use that term loosely).

Monday morning, always the over-achiever, Emmett John still had his fever and his cold symptoms had returned with avengance so off we went to see Dr. M. But really, let's be honest here, what's a week in the Cheerio household without a visit (or two or three - keep reading) to the pediatricians' office? He checked out our young bebe and thought for sure he had strep throat so he did the swabs - rapid and 48hr. Both ended up coming back negative.

So now he's just a super-clingy grump. He doesn't really want to eat. But he downs water and juice like they are going out of style. He's exhausted but won't sleep. Wants to snuggle but doesn't want held. My fellow mommies out there know this drill well. *sigh*

Gavin

Then of course, Gavin had to jump on the bandwagon. Although truthfully, it's not like he had much of a choice, with two sick little brothers the odds were stacked against him in a major way. So a week or so ago Gavin developed a cough. As the week went on the cough got worse. The problem that Patty brought to our attention at our appointment on Tuesday was timing. The cough started about the same time that Dr. R increased Gavin's dose of Zyprexa. Patty was worried that the Zyprexa was possibly that Gavin is over-medicated and it's causing decreased respiratory function. Of course, I mean what else would you expect from a Cheerio Child?!

So I called and made an appointment with Dr. M. The appointment was actually going to work three ways. Here's what they are and why:

a.) If Gavin is over-medicated, the dose will be changed.

b.) If Gavin is sick, hopefully it's something that will be fixed with anti-biotics.

c.) Everytime Gavin gets a tickle in his throat he proclaims that he has asthma, which he does not.

So I was hoping to find answers to all three of those when we met with Dr. M. Although truth be told, Dr. H has already told Gavin on numerous occasions that he does not have asthma. Heck, even his original pediatrician Dr. Mike told him he didn't have asthma. But he's still convinced that he does.

So we went. We saw. We talked. Some of us more than others. Dr. M asked Gavin a bunch of questions to rule out asthma, which he was able to do, again. Then as Dr. M and I were talking about the cough - when it came on, the meds he's taking etc - Gavin kept jumping in with random Aspie statements. "I like pancakes." Things that given the given the context of the conversation really didn't make much sense. Gotta love those Aspies. :)

Dr. M checked him out and let us know that:

a.) He is not over-medicated. Huge relief there.

b.) He is sick.

c.) He also does not have asthma, although I don't know that this will put an end to the debate.

Apparently, Gavin has some funky form of bronchitis. The normal anti-biotics won't work on it because of the cell walls or something. And the anti-biotic they would normally prescribe is Zythromax or something in that family but Gavin is allergic to those. Even if he weren't he can't take them because they increase the levels of the Zyprexa in his blood stream. So he's on an anti-biotic I've never heard of before, which after three boys (especially Emmett John) I didn't think that was possible. lol And I have to take him back on Monday so that Dr. M can listen to his lungs and make sure that he's improving etc.

Back to Emmett John

Now we get to go back to the pediatrician today. In the last 24hrs Emmett John has developed a rash that started on his back so I thought it was heat rash. Then it began to creep. It creeped to his sides, stomach and now it's creeping down both arms and legs. So I called and talked to Paula, one of the lovely nurses, and she talked to Dr. M. He said that he felt Emmett John should be seen because of Gavin and Elliott Richard both being sick. So at 4:15pm we will be back at the pediatrician's office. This time we get to see Dr. H though. Yippee! So we'll see what that brings us. Oy vay.

2 Ped Appointments

Yeah, it was 2 ped appts if you only counted Emmett John with Dr. M on Monday and Gavin with Dr. M yesterday. However, if you count Emmett John with Dr. Beth on Saturday and now Emmett John today. The grand total is now 4 ped appts but that doesn't work with my title at all. ;) lol

1 Fibromyalgia Flare

Yeah, that would be me. Of course, who else would it be. I love living in Ohio. Really, I do. Lately though, this weather, it's killing me. The ups and the downs - the weather is just crazy and it's downright killing me. I've been flaring off and on for nearly 2 weeks now. But that's another post entirely, believe me.

A Baby on the Way

Okay, so he's not so much "on the way" anymore because I started this post 5 days ago and let's face it, that's kind of a long time for active labor! (Ouch!) On Thursday, August 6th my cousin Sam went into labor with her second child, first boy. If you would like to see his stats and a picture of him head on over to her blog. Try and prepare yourself though ~ seriously.

Welcome to the World and to the Family, Mr. Evander Benjamin!

Some of you may remember me posting here about Mr. Emmett John and his ear infection that would not die and the very real possibility of him having to get tubes. Well, Trish and I took him to see his ENT Dr. KR this morning. He's been a real crank butt lately so I was afraid the nasty infection has returned.

WRONG! :)

Dr. KR said that his ear are clear and perfect! He went on to say that most kids get their ear infections in the winter and the fact that Emmett John has had this many nasty ones in the summer could indicate that winter is going to be particularly nasty for him. But "he's not God, that's just his educated opinion". Those are his exact words. lol

He said that the next time Emmett John gets an ear infection to have Dr. H call him and he'll arrange for the tubes. Or we can call him and say "That's it! We're done! Put the tubes in because we can't take it anymore!" lol Either way, he'll set it up and get it done. So for now, we wait and see.

Then, not one to be out-done, Elliott Richard has been feeling under the weather for the past few days. I've been trying desperately to get ahead of it by drying him up with Benedyl at night. I lost. Yesterday, he woke up and started coughing and hacking. Then last night he went to bed. Fell asleep. Woke up vomitting like 15 minutes later.

I called Dr. H this morning and got him in at 2pm. Rob took him because Emmett John and I were exhausted and napping. Turns out that Elliott Richard now has the ear infection. Oy vay. So he's on Amoxicilian and napping right now, which means he'll either never sleep tonight or sleep like the dead tonight. With Elliott Richard you just never know.

Ah the joys of life in the Cheerio house.

Or is it a train?!

Seriously, given my luck, I hope it's not a train.

I took Mr. Emmett John to see Dr. H this morning at 10:15am. (I also doubled booked myself without realizing it and missed my appointment with my therapist but I digress.) He checked out both of Emmett's ears and said they look good. They aren't perfect by any means but they look "like ears that are on the mend rather than getting worse again".

Yay!

At first he was under the impression that Mr. Emmett John has had a few more ear infections then just these last few. So he wanted me to push Dr. KR for the tubes next week. After he looked back through his medical records, he changed his mind. Now he wants me to be sure and mention it to Dr. KR and if he looks at Emmett's ears and they are infected again, even after finishing the Augmentin, then he wants me to push for the tubes. Other wise he said to just follow Dr. KR's lead on what to do.

So for now, there is hope! :)

For now, there is a light at the end of the tunnel!

I just hope it isn't a train...please keep praying!

Sorry I've been MIA again. It's been a crazy month for a few different reasons. I'll go into some of it when I'm ready, but not now. For now I'd like to focus on Mr. Emmett John. He's turned 1! (I have pictures and video that I will be sure to post - as soon as I find them.) And he's been sick. You're surprised, I know. But this is crazy even by Emmett John standards.

About a month or so ago, I took him in to see Dr. M because Emmett John had been super fussy and grumpy. Totally inconsolible. Picking at his food. He didn't want to drink. Wouldn't sleep. Completely not himself. He didn't have a fever or anything. But there was clearly something off. So away to see the pediatrician we went...completely expecting to find nothing.

Wrong!

Turns out that Emmett John had a horrible, bright red ear infection in his left ear. He just happens to be one of those kids who doesn't have any signs of an infection (fever etc). So Dr. M gave us a prescription for the pink "bubblegum" medicine (that I can't remember the name right now). He took that for 10 days. About 4 days after he finished that he was still Super Grump. So I called them back. (This was last Wednesday.) Guess what happened then?

Yup. Away we went to see Dr. M again. He checks. Again expecting to find nothing but an over-protective mommy. Wrong again. Now he's got a nasty, bright red ear infection in his right ear. Again, he didn't have a fever. He was just a grump who wasn't sleeping, eating, drinking etc. So we left that appointment with a prescription for Omnicef. Believing that it would clear up the infection and when we returned today all would be right with the world.

Wrong again!

We saw Dr. M again this morning bright and early at 8:45am. I was hoping against hope that he would find no more infection. Even though I knew that his behavior was indicative of his ear infection still hanging around. I was right. Dr. M checked and his right ear is still bright red and inflamed. Now Mr. Emmett John is on Augmentin, which is the last and strongest medication they are willing to try. If this doesn't work, when we see Dr. KR on July 29th for his continued hoarseness we will also discuss having tubes placed in his ears. :(

We go see Dr. H next Wednesday to see if the Augmentin has worked. We would see Dr. M again except he will be on vacation, lucky guy. So while it's a small thing, in the great big scheme of things, if you could pray that his ear infection clears up in the next week. I would really appreciate it.

My laptop won't connect to the internet. So we will have to put off the finishing of my doozy of a post part deux - don't worry you haven't missed it, I'm still writing it. So yes, it's likely to be just as long, if not longer than my previous doozy of a post. Now on to the update...


My dr's appointment @ 9:00am? Check.
Fasted for cholesterol test? Oops. That's a negative.
Topamax increased? Check.
Allergy meds prescribed? Check.
Other meds prescribed? Check.
I even lost a pound!
Home by 10:00am.

Appointment w/Dr. R @ 11:00am? Check.
Changed the dose of his Zyprexa.
Waiting to hear from Psychology unit at local Children's Hospital about scheduling testing.
Learned that Zyprexa will have to be stopped a minimum ONE WEEK before testing. (Oy.)
Gavin behaved wonderfully so we rewarded him w/lunch of his choice. He wanted orange chicken and lo mein. He ate it all in a single sitting.
Home by 12:15pm.

Came home. Rob was feeling sick so he slept for the rest of the day. I wolfed down my Steak Escape. (I *heart* Steak Escape!) And took my sister, who was kind enough to baby-sit the fuss-pots (a.k.a. Elliott Richard and Emmett John) all morning, to a "Special Person's Tea" w/my niece.

Came home, again. Emmett John napped for a little bit. Elliott Richard spiked a fever, again. Gave him his Motrin and called Dr. H's office, again. (I swear they should name a room after us at this point.) Made an appointment to see the CNP at 4:30pm. I don't care for her but it was either her or the one doctor I prefer to avoid, especially when it comes to Elliott Richard.

Made it the office at 4:30pm w/Elliott Richard, Emmett John and Trisha in tow? Check.
Elliott Richard freaking out over shots? Check.
Explain to him no shots today? Check.
Elliott Richard still freaking out? Double check.
CNP calls us back.
Aunt Trisha to the rescue, asks CNP if there will be shots. That's a negative - no shots today.
Elliott Richard calms down.
Emmett John seems fascinated by being on the "other side".
CNP checks out Elliott Richard.
Bronchitis. (Of course.)
Opinion of CNP changed? Double check.
Homeward bound at 5:00pm w/prescription for Zithromax.
Pickup chicken nugget happy meal as reward on the way home.

Now it's 8:13pm. I have no internet on my laptop. The ice in my Polar Pop is melting. My buffalo wings are getting cold. Elliott Richard is looking for ANY excuse to not sleep. I just wanted to vegg, do some blog writing, South Park watching and Polar Pop drinking. Alas it was not meant to be.

Ah well, on the bright side Rob is the only one left to get sick. On the crappy side, when he gets sick with what we've been passing around he usually ends up hospitalized. Are we having fun yet?

And does anyone else find it odd (funny haha odd or crazy interesting odd) that Emmett John was the only one hospitalized for this so far and he's also the only one who recovered without antibiotics?

Once again, the entire month of May sucks! If you are confused by this declaration, read here first and then come back to this post. Now on with the post. Here is what my past week has looked like. (Sound familiar? You have no idea.)

Saturday, May 23rd, 2009
Okay, let's be honest here. After the week before, I have no idea what I did on Saturday. I could go and check my datebook but I don't think I have anything written in there either. So...moving right along...

Sunday, May 24th, 2009
My little brother Zach graduated from high school today. I had planned to go to the ceremony. In fact, I really, really, really wanted to go to the ceremony. It just wasn't meant to be. Between all the craziness the week before, my body was done. My body just couldn't go anymore. Besides the fact that my body had been pushed beyond it's point of no return, Emmett John woke up this morning running a fever of 101 degrees. Now this alone didn't concern me too terriblly much. It was the fever coupled with the fact that he was near inconsolible that had me concerned. But it was a low grade fever so I didn't think too much about it. Then as night fell (of course) his fever jumped to 103 and the Tylenol stopped being effective. He was still completely inconsolible to boot. At about 10 o'clock that night Rob and I made the decision to take him to the Emergency Room. Rob stayed at home with Elliott Richard and Gavin because Elliott Richard hasn't been feeling well off and on for the last few weeks. And Trisha and I took Mr. Emmett John to the local ER.

We got there and got him registered. Then we waited. For 4 hours we waited. Finally, at about 2:00 or 2:30 am they called us back. By then he had the Tylenol in his system for 4 hours and his fever was slowly returning. They gave him the once over and the all clear - no ear infection, strep throat, croup/pneumonia etc. Then they gave him some Motrin and told me to alternate Children's (not Infant's) Motrin and Tylenol until his fever broke and sent us home. They offered to do a chest x-ray if it would make me feel better but since the doctor didn't feel a need for one, I didn't see why we should torture him. The three of us got home at about 3:00 am or so. Climbed into bed and passed out.

Monday, May 25th, 2009
Happy Memorial Day to all!

We were supposed to go to a picnic at Rob's parents' house but since Mr. Emmett John was still running his 103.3 degree fever we opted to stay home. Nothing with Emmett John had changed at this point. He was still running his crazy high fever. He was still inconsolible - to the point where if I offered him a breast, he would bite me. He also still had diarrhea - for the past 3 weeks. We were alternating the Motrin and the Tylenol. I was taking his temp every time he was due for Motrin because honestly, the Tylenol wasn't doing squat. And his temp was still consistantly 103.3 - 103.5 degrees. He was sleeping, fussing, eating, fussing - lather, rinse, repeat. At one point we tried to call the answering service at Dr. H's office but the phone just rang and no one ever answered. In the end, we just kept doing what we were doing and went to bed early.

Tuesday, May 26th, 2009
First thing Tuesday morning I called and made appointments for all three boys to see the doctor. Dr. H wasn't in the office but we were going to see one of the other partners. Then as the morning went on Rob and I decided that it was more important to get Emmett John in now. Gavin and Elliott Richard could wait.

So Aunt Trisha and I took Mr. Emmett John in to see Dr. C at about 11:00 am. He weighed 21lb 8oz, which is loss of about 5oz from the week before. Then we saw the doctor. She looked him over and agreed with the ER, proclaiming it to be a virus and said we should call if he began vomiting or his fever jumped up etc. So again, we came. We saw. We left with a very sick little boy and no answers or help.

Jump to about 10 or 11:00 pm that night...I'm on the phone with Dr. C. Emmett John's fever is now 104 degrees. He hasn't had a wet diaper since 11:00am that morning. And his chronic diarrhea 5-7 times a day for 3 weeks has just stopped. He does nothing but scream, claw at my face, bite me - where ever he can get ahold of and scream some more. He won't nurse. Everytime I try and nurse him, he latches on and takes a few sips before biting me hard and pulling off and screaming some more. Dr. C said that she would support me taking him back to the ER, if that's what I wanted to do. She said if I felt comfortable enough I could take the next 4 hours and try and get him to lay down with me and nurse. If he nursed, then we could call first thing in the morning and make another appointment. If he didn't nurse, then I was to take him straight to the ER for blood work and IV fluids.

So my sister went home and we went to bed. Praying the whole way. I laid down with Mr. Emmett John and explained the situation. Said one more prayer and tried to nurse him. Wonders never cease, he nursed! So we all got comfy and went to sleep. Crisis averted...or so we thought...

Wednesday, May 27th, 2009
I remember waking up at like 2 or 3:00 am and thinking Emmett John was due for his Motrin but he wasn't hot or even warm. Then I remember thinking "Thank God! His fever's finally broken!" before I fell back to sleep.

At 5:00 am Mr. Emmett John woke up screaming. Rob and I woke up scared out of our minds because that is not how he usually wakes up. I checked him and he was burning up. Rob runs for the Motrin, Tylenol and themometer. I give him the meds and take his temp. It's now 104.5 degrees. I'm done playing games. This has gone on too long.

Rob is trying to call the answering service at Dr. H's office. It's still just ringing - much like on Memorial Day. I got dressed and woke up my sister. Got Emmett John ready. And prepared to return to the ER. Mama is through playing games.

We walked into the ER. They checked him in. Took his vitals. Took him back to a room. A PA came in and asked questions. I told her everything. The temp. The fact that it was now 6:30 am and he had wet 1 diaper in 19+ hours. The diarrhea. The screaming. The refusal to nurse. EVERYTHING. A nurse came in to check his vitals again. I told her everything as well. The stupid doctor with a God-complex came in and I told him everything. He looked at my baby and told me it was a virus. He said "his mouth is still moist and he has a few tears so there is nothing wrong with him and I won't torture him with blood work and an IV to make you feel better" - his exact words. Then he stormed from the room. He tried to slam the door except the doors are spring loaded and don't slam. But he tried.

The nurse came back with Zofran for the nausea my baby didn't have. When we questioned her on it, she couldn't come up with a good reason other than "the doctor ordered it and I have to give it to him". Then she gave him Motrin and a bottle of orange Gatorade. I turned to her...this nice nurse...a caring woman...and I begged her for help. I cried and I begged. I told her that I understand they have the degrees and I'm "just the mother", however, this is my baby. There is something seriously wrong but they won't listen. I begged her to make them listen and if they wouldn't listen, I begged her to page Dr. H. She said she couldn't page Dr. H, only Dr. God-complex could do that. She said she would talk to him. She never came back. It's now 8:00 am and we've been there for an hour and a half.

At 8:30 am two new nurses come in, to "torture my son to make me feel better" per Dr. God-complex. They took his blood - twice because the first set clotted from sitting. Then they gave him an IV. Emmett John screamed. I sobbed. His right hand and inner elbows are bruised from these women. I feel horrible. When they were done I sobbed to my sister. Begging her for reassurance that she would tell me if she felt this were unnecessary. She said she would tell me. I sobbed with my baby because these "professionals" were causing me to question myself, my gut, my mother's instinct. When I know that I know my child better than they do. We sat there while 350cc's of fluid ran into my little boy. Then at 9:30 am the PA returned.

She marched into our room. She did not make eye contract. She starred at the wall to the left of Trisha when she spoke. She spoke quickly and then she left. This is what she said to me:

"The labs came back on your son. They were perfect. There is nothing medically wrong with your son. If he gets worse, please bring him back in. Whatever you believe, we are in the business of helping people here."

My baby hadn't urinated in 21+ hours at that point. He wouldn't nurse. He was running a fever of 104.5 degrees. And yet "there is nothing medically wrong with your son". As if this weren't enough, one of the butchers - I mean nurses who did his IV came in to discharge us. She felt the need to comment on the fact that Emmett John does not take a bottle.

Her: So he's 11 months old and doesn't take a bottle?
Me: Yes.
Her: You still nurse him? (As if it's a nasty, dirty thing to do.)
Me: Yes.
Her: You should wean him immediately and put him on a bottle.
Me: No. Where do I sign so we can leave?

I was horrified, mortified and stupified. My beloved hospital, that I hold in the highest esteem, had let me down. I was born there. All three of my boys were born there. I go there for everything. I absolutely love my hospital. And here I was, devastated by this experience. Crushed by the PA who knew nothing. Insulted by Dr. God-complex. More than a little irritated by the nurse who was obiviously offended by the idea of my nursing my 11 month old. Who were these horrible people? How had they been allowed to work in "my" hospital?! I felt so let down.

We came home and I was completely defeated at that point. I was ready to give up and quit fighting. Clearly the professionals knew something I did not, and perhaps it was time for me to just call it quits. Rob and I got into a horrible argument. I don't remember what it was about. All I remember is that in the end he said I couldn't give up. That if I wasn't going to fight for our boys, who would. That I knew them better than anyone else and they needed me to be their voice. And so I fought on.

I called Dr. H's office. Linda answered the phone. I love Linda. She is one of the floating nurses so sometimes she takes care of us. I told her everything as well. Including the nightmare ER story. She said that since he had seen Dr. C last she needed to tell Dr. C everything. I begged her to tell Dr. H as well. In the end, she said that Emmett was such a complicated case that she was just going to go straight to Dr. H and she would call me back.

About an half hour later, Linda called me back. She had spoken with Dr. H and while he was booked solid because he had taken a few days vacation over the long weekend (imagine the nerve! j/k) he wanted us to see Dr. K. Now you might remember that I don't really care for Dr. K per this post here. So I was a little less than thrilled with this arrangement. But this was the partner that Dr. H wanted us to see, so we would see her. Besides, could she really be any worse than Dr. God-complex?!

So 11:15am Emmett John and I arrived at the office and were whisked away by one of our favorite nurses, Mel. Mel just adore Emmett John so we always love seeing her. I told Mel about our morning trip to the ER and she was shocked. Then Dr. K came in the room. I went back to the beginning - back to when I took Emmett in for the hoarseness and we started the Zyrtec, which made him super grumpy and we thought caused the diarrhea. Then we stopped the Zyrtec, which stopped the grumpies but the diarrhea kept going etc etc etc. When I had finished, she asked me if he always looked that pale and yellow. Nope. She didn't like his color. She didn't like that one minute he seemed okay and then the next he was screaming bloody murder, clawing at my face and biting any part of me he could reach (literally). She said that she and Dr. H had discussed the case before we got there and wanted to admit him to either the local hospital (where we had been in the ER that morning) or the local Children's Hospital. I asked her if she felt he needed to be in the Children's Hospital, if he was that bad. She said if it were surgical, she would send him there in a heart beat but if I was okay with the local hospital, that he would be well taken care of there. I agreed since they were going to admit him and bypass the ER. She then asked if someone could bring me my things because while she didn't think he needed the Children's Hospital just yet, she didn't want me to go home. She wanted me to take him straight there. (Oy.)

She called the Peds Unit and made all the arrangements for me. Then she sent us on our way. On our way out, I stopped to thank her. At which point, I burst into tears. I stood in the hallway, holding Emmett John and sobbing. Telling her how grateful I was for her. For her willingness to just listen to me. That she didn't blow me off. She didn't treat me as a crazy, over-protective mom. That she understood that maybe I do know my children better than she does. And just because his mouth is still a little moist and he sheds a tear or two, doesn't mean he isn't dehydrated...once a baby's mouth is dry and he stops producing tears - it's too late. She hugged me and asked me to call and give her an update. I promised I would. And we left. It was 12noon.

Emmett John and I made it to the hospital at about 12:15pm. We were in the Peds Unit, in his first room by 12:30pm. Registration was taken care of and vitals taken by 1:00pm.

21lb 13oz (way off)
29.75in (again, way off)
94% O2 levels
114/57 BP

His nurse, Cara, was super nice. She liked to call him "Sug", like "sugar" without the "ar". He liked the crib, which I find humorous since he's never his own at home. He hated the scrubs/pajamas. They ordered him full meals because he is 11 months old and apparently at 11 months old, he should be eating more than me! (Who knew?!) He loved the breaded chicken breast. Thought the mashed potatoes were okay. Had fun picking up the corn kernels. But mainly ate the applesauce.

They did a cath to get a urinalysis. His bladder was empty except for 10 drops. (No joke.) So they put a bag over his penis, which he hated just as much as the cath. Then they took his blood, which angered him to the point of squeezing a bit of pee out. At the point the plan was to try and get 10 oz into him every hour by mouth. If we could do that, then we wouldn't plan an IV. We tried applesauce. Nope. We tried Gatorade. Nope. He didn't like their sippies. We tried pudding. Nope. Finally, against all odds (because he really hadn't nursed much in two days) I tried to nurse him. Wonders never cease (again), he nursed! IV avoided for the time being. At this point I asked the nurse if they had a room with a crib for him and a bed for me, since I would be sleeping there to nurse him to try and avoid the IV. She pulled some strings and *poof* Emmett John and I were in a double room. :)

Grandma W and Aunt Trisha came up and visited us for a bit before we switched room, which was nice. I mean the nurses were all lovely. And Dr. Tim, Dr. Mike, Dr. De are all wonderful. But they don't have time to chat. And the TV is only so entertaining. Emmett John isn't much for conversation. So it was nice to see some "big people" for a little bit, ya know? :) lol

Once we were in our new room, Daddy came up and visited us and brought me some McDonalds. (Yippee!) We hung out for a little while but he went home early because he was sick (and looked horrible). So it was just Mr. Emmett John and myself. It actually worked out pretty well, Rob being sick just then because Gavin was with my parents. And Elliott Richard was with Rob's parents. So at least he got to go home and actually get a little bit of undisturbed rest, which is a difficult thing to come by in our house.

I tried a few times, unsuccessfully, to get Emmett John to sleep and put him in the crib. It worked really well when he was hospitalized at 2 months old for suspected sleep apnea but no dice this time around. Finally, I ended up taking him to bed and surrounding us with the half dozen pillows and nursing him to sleep. (Score! More nursing!) When our super cool nurse came in (of course, I can't remember her name now) I told her, "Look, I'll be honest. I co-sleep at home. I tried to put him in the crib but it's just not happening. If you talk to Dr. Mike, he was my pediatrician for like 6 years. He'll tell you that I a) know what I'm doing and b) do it safely." She said the hospital recognizes that moms co-sleep now and it's viable "life-style choice" (???) and I just have to sign a paper saying I am "blantantly refusing to place my child in the crib". (Oy vay.) Whatever. I signed the silly paper. Emmett John and I slept all night - well, he slept all night and nursed all night, which means I didn't really sleep at all. But that's a sacrifice I was willing to make. :)

Thursday, May 28th, 2009
Bright and early Thursday morning, our nurse and a lab tech woke us up. And by "bright and early" what I really mean is 6:00am! The lab tech was perfectly nice and all, but she was a bit much at least for that early in the morning. Since Emmett John and I happened to be snuggling in bed when they burst into the room, I was "lucky" enough to get the job of holding him down while "Super Happy Lab Tech" poked him. (Yippee?) After that we got to snuggle for a while. Then the doctors made their rounds. They said that Emmett's labs from last night were a slight improvement over the ER labs taken that morning. (Dr. De also made it a point to say that whoever told me his morning labs were perfect was clearly mistaken because they weren't. His morning labs showed he was definitely becoming dehydrated. Thank you Dr. God-complex. We were still waiting on his morning labs since they had just been take not that long ago. Dr. De felt that his morning labs would again be an improvement from both last night and yesterday morning. As long as that held true, we would be going home - hopefully before lunch! :)

After Dr. De and Dr. S left, we snuggled some more until breakfast arrived. Emmett had some scrambled eggs, Canadian bacon, plain Cheerios (lol) and Baby Mum Mum snacks. We had a highchair in our room so he sat and had a blast. While I got to sit and eat my breakfast in peace, for once. After that, we snuggled and hung out some more until around 10:00 am. That's when Dr. De came back in and gave us the all clear!

We could go home! :)

Emmett John was released with the understanding that if his fever returned, he stopped eating or stopped urinating again I was to call them and bring him back to the Peds Unit - not the ER. Also his morning bloodwork was better but still not where they wanted it to be. So she gave me order for more bloodwork. She said I had to have the blood draw done first thing Wednesday morning (that was yesterday - Yes, I'm still working on this on Thursday June 4th.) and follow that with an appointment with Dr. H that afternoon.

The rest of Wednesday was spent at home (Yay!) napping and snuggling and nursing. (Double yay!)

Friday, May 29th, 2009
Oh come on now, you didn't really think that was the end of our week, did you?! I mean, if you've been reading my blog for any amount of time, you've figured out that my family doesn't do anything the easy way and they don't do anything half way either.

Friday morning started out okay. Then it quickly became apparent that Emmett John was doing okay again but Gavin needed to be seen by the pediatrician. So I called Dr. H's office, again. Dr. H didn't have any available appointments but Dr. K did so Rob and I took him in to see Dr. K. Trisha stayed with the babies because Gavin needed to have some bloodwork done and depending on what Dr. K found, we were going to try and have it done while we were there.

We got there. We checked in. The nurse weighed him and we learned that he's gained 10lbs since January!!! Holy cow! It took him nearly three years to gain the last 10lbs he managed to put on.

(I just spent an hour finishing this post and when I hit "post" my internet crapped out on me in mid post. So not only did it not post it but it lost everything I had just worked so hard on! ARGH! Moving right along...)

When Dr. K came in she came him the once over and determined that he has a pretty nasty sinus infection. In fact, she said that the first round of antibiotics may not be enough to kill it off. She also that although we had hoped to get his routine bloodwork for his Depakote levels, LFT's and CBC out of the way while we were there we wouldn't be able to do that. She felt that with him as sick as he was it was bound to throw his LFT's and CBC off. So the bloodwork was a no good. Of course Gavin was thrilled. :)

In the end, we went home with a prescription for horse pills for Gavin. Then we spent the rest of the day resting, napping and trying to recover.

Saturday, May 30th, 2009 & Sunday, May 31st, 2009
And of course in true Cheerio fashion, things just kept on getting better. It wasn't enough that Emmett John was recovering from his fever and diarrhea, which had come back (the diarrhea not the fever). Gavin was sick, which just makes him grumpy-er. And then Elliott Richard spiked a fever of 102-103 degrees. Elliott being sick and running a fever adds a whole new layer to an otherwise "dull" weekend - because you know our lives are so dull and without excitement.

Elliott Richard being being sick amounts to our weekend going something like this:

Motrin every 6 hours.
Hours 1 and 2: he's super grumpy and inconsolable.
Hours 3 and 4: he's perfectly normal.
Hour 5: he's passed out cold.
Hour 6: he returns to super grumpy and inconsolable.

At night, forget about it. He sleeps for little bits at a time. But mostly he tosses and turns except for Hour 5 when he's passed out cold. Emmett John is still co-sleeping and nursing at night so I had him. Plus he's been nursing all night long trying to make up for lost time while he was sick and not nursing at all. So Rob "volunteered" to "sleep" on the couches with Elliott Richard. And by "sleep" I mean Elliott slept and tossed and turned while Rob stayed up all night and kept an eye on him and helped him back to sleep.

That was how it went...all weekend long. By Sunday night, we were all driving each other crazy. The boys were getting on each others' nerves. Rob and I were getting on each others' nerves. We were fighting like crazy. It was just a bad situation overall.

So again I say, I hereby decree the demise of the month of MAY. Period. End of story. If you unfortunate enough to have a birthday and/or anniversary in the month of May, then you can choose to now have it either in the month of April or the month of June. The choice is your's but it must be made because I'm sick of this crap and I'm not doing it next year. I'm done.

Seriously. I want out.

Historically, for the past 7 years the month of May has sucked. And not just sucked in the terms of "Oh wow, this is kind of lame" sucked. It has sucked in terms of "Next year I am skipping the month of May", sucked in terms of "deep space vacuum" sucked. (little nerd girl joke there - sorry) Every year I go into the month of May with the mindset that this year will be different. This year May will not suck. Every year since my Grandma M died on May 11, 2002; May has sucked. Positive mindset or not. Until this year.

This year things were shaping up a bit differently. This year May 1st through the 10th was great. We had our normal bumps and bruises but nothing major. May 11th was a little sad for me but nothing I couldn't handle. We made it through May 12th through the 17th. The first 17 days of May were normal (for us), calm (for us) and completely unlike May for the past 7 years. Then I picked Gavin up from school on Monday, May 18th. Allow me to explain.

Monday, May 18th, 2009

The day started out normal and innocently enough. Gavin was feisty and angry, nothing new. However, he wasn't hungry even though he went to bed without dinner the night before since he chose to pitch a massive meltdown during dinner rather than eat. This seemed slightly odd to us but we figured maybe he wasn't really hungry the night before. Maybe it had all been a power struggle. So we went about our day and then I picked him up from school at 3:00pm. Gavin decided that he didn't want to do his work, much like every other day. Only on this day he decided to try and physically intimidate one of his teachers. He tried to hit her. She stopped him. He also spent a lot of time physically assaulting himself, which led her to trying to prevent this behavior. While lecturing Gavin on our way home my sister called me. It would appear that the poo-cloud was raining on our family as a whole, not just us. That's her story though. Just trust me when I say that it's the nightmare of mothers with teenage daughters everywhere.

Tuesday, May 19th, 2009

This morning I was helping Gavin get ready for school and a thought occurs to me. Here's the conversation I had with Gavin. I'm serious.

Me: Gavin, you weren't hungry when you woke up yesterday were you?
Gavin: Nope.
Me: Is that because you ate something that wasn't food? (Gavin, like most Autistic kids, has PICA.)
Gavin: Yup.
Me: Was it the strings from your blanket? (He's been known and seen Dr. H for pulling the threads out of his comforter (yes, he insists on sleeping with it even when it's 70+ outside - that would be the sensory integration disorder) and eat them.)
Gavin: No.
Me: (having a light bulb moment) Did you eat your toothpaste? Is that why you went through it so quickly?
Gavin: Yes.
Me: What other things do you eat that aren't food?
Gavin: Paper. Strings. Toothpaste. But not toe-jam. Well, not anymore. But I used to. (I kid you not.)
Me: What paper?
Gavin: The paper on my desk.
Me: Why would you do that?
Gavin: Well, I was hungry!
(Now Rob and I had checked out his desk Monday night - separately. Rob thought I had cleaned it off. I thought Rob had cleaned it off. And we both forgot to mention it to the other one. Rob and I would later figure out there were roughly 12-24+ sheets of paper (copies, construction paper, art paper, art projects, cardboard, paper scraps etc covered in copier ink, crayon, marker, color pencil, pencil, pen, glue etc) not to mention a bunch of little plastic "gumball machine toys". All of these things are now gone.)

After this conversation I took Gavin to school. A.) Because Dr. H's office didn't open until 8:00am and I didn't know what he was going to want me to do. and B.) Because at the time I didn't realize just what was on the desk. So a little while later I called Dr. H's office and spoke with a nurse. She said she would speak with Dr. H and call back but I should call Poison Control in the meantime just to be safe. So I called Poison Control and they said that given Gavin's age and size the crayon etc wasn't a concern. Their bigger concern was the amount of paper and whether or not it was going to cause a bowel obstruction. (Oy.) They told me to follow whatever Dr. H said to do.

Well as if all of this wasn't more fun than a barrel of monkeys (it wasn't) I also woke up with a very sore throat Tuesday morning. So while waiting to hear back from Dr. H I called my Dr. N and made an appointment for that morning. So Trisha, Emmett John, Elliott Richard and I left. We dropped Elliott Richard off at Grandma G's fully intending to pick him up on the way home. Then Trish and I went to my appointment while Rob waited to hear from Dr. H. I had a sinus infection, strep throat, and upper respiratory infection. I suppose anything worth doing (or having) is worth doing well.

While I was sitting at Dr. N's office, Dr. H called Rob...personally. Dr. H had already called the head of gastroenterology at the local children's hospital who said to keep an eye on Gavin. As long as he was asymptomatic there was no need to bring him in. That was before we realized everything that had been on his desk and was now missing. Once Rob explained the desk contents et al Dr. H said he wanted us to pick Gavin up from school and take him straight to the children's hospital emergency room. He said they would be the best equipped to handle Gavin and his situation. So Rob, Trish, Gavin, Emmett John and I made our way to the Emergency Room.

All told we spent 2-3 hours there. They "probed" him to be sure he wasn't blocked. Gavin loved that, let me tell you. They did x-rays to be sure that he hadn't swallowed anything made of metal, which turned out clear. Thank God. Then the Attending had to check his nose to make sure he hadn't shoved anything up there. He thought he saw a marble up there so that led to another procedure, which led to Gavin being wrapped like a burrito - something we'll be using for blood draws in the future. In the end, all was clear. The paper will pass. If there were toys, they were made of plastic, didn't appear to be causing any poisoning, and seemed to be passing with the paper. If he became sick, started vomiting, complaining of stomach pain or still hadn't pooped in 3-5 days we were to call Dr. H for a follow-up. Luckily none of those things happened. And the paper seems to be leaving the building.

Wednesday, May 20th, 2009
You know, I don't remember what happened on Wednesday. Oh wait! Yes, I slept as much as humanly possible to try and feel somewhat human again. It didn't work. And when Rob picked Gavin up from school we learned that Gavin had cussed in school. However, when asked about it, he lied. This led to a giant meltdown. As Gavin was melting down, Rob and I gutted his bedroom. We stripped it of every piece of paper we could find. Every tiny toy. Every big toy. Every everything that could fit in his mouth.

While we were doing this, Jenn was watching Elliott Richard and Emmett John. And the phone rang. It was Grandpa G calling from the local hospital. Apparently, Grandma G had been outside gardening. When she stood up, she heard a *snap*. All she did was get up and she broke her ankle. Dad sounded pretty freaked out on the phone. She's okay. But she's pretty shaken up because she truly didn't do anything except stand up and her ankle snapped.

Thursday, May 21st, 2009

We woke up. Things were moving along fine. The morning was calm and quiet. Gavin went off to school without incident. Mr. Emmett John and I laid down at about 9:00 am for our usual morning nap. (Yes, my fibro is that bad that I have to take naps - usually more than one - everyday.) The house phone rang but no one answered it. Then my cell phone rang. It was the school. When the school calls, it's never good news. I answered and spoke with the school guidance counselor. Now it's important to keep in mind that I drop Gavin off at school at 8:00am. The school was calling at about 9:00am. During that hour Gavin did little else besides meltdown. All because his teachers had the nerve to ask him to write his name and do his work. He refused. You're surprised, I know. He melted down for 45 minutes. Finally, the guidance counselor decided to try and help him by holding his hand with her hand and physically helping him to do his work, not force him to do it but actually help him. This led to Gavin throwing his pencil across the room. Before holding his classmates "hostage" by blocking them from leaving the room. Then when they did get the class evacuated the guidance counselor was getting ready to give Gavin the chance to get himself under control or she was calling me. She was about to offer his that chance, when he threw the pencil at her head and missed her by about an inch. At that point, she'd had enough and she told him that she was calling Mom. She left the room expecting him to continue with his meltdown. He didn't. He followed her and cornered her in the office, ordering her not to call me. By the time Rob and I arrived at the school Gavin, the Principal, and Mr. B (the IEP Coordinator) were locked in the office with another teacher Ms. J sitting outside as a watchman. In the end, we took him home early. He spent the day in his room without toys or anything fun to do. We had plans to do his work he was missing by coming home early but the day took a very different turn once we arrived home.

While we were at the school, Rob's little sister, Jenn, babysat Elliott Richard and Emmett John. Now as I was leaving that morning to take Gavin to school, I saw a red female pitbull she was either currently nursing or had recently stopped nursing pups without a collar or tags limping through the neighborhood so I called the county dog warden. I made it very clear that she did not appear aggressive just scared and possibly injured. I just wanted her reunited with her pups and I didn't want her hit by a car. So while we were gone the dog warden showed up at our house where he is greeted at the door by Maggie Sue, our tan female Boxer/American Bulldog non-nursing with collar and tags non-limping secured dog. Jenn answered the door and Elliott Richard takes Maggie by the collar saying "bad dog...stop barking". The dog warden told her that Maggie was a pitbull and she was going to "bite that baby". So when we got home from dealing with Gavin and the school we now had to deal with the county dog warden or risk losing our beloved Maggie. Rob called them and was on the phone for what seemed like forever. In the end we had to produce copies of the paperwork from the vet stating that she isn't a pitbull and that our vet had done a temperament test on her. We also had to present her to the head dog warden for an examination to prove that she isn't a pitbull. In the end, he sided with us and ruled that she is in fact a Boxer/American Bulldog mix. Thank God for small favors!

If he had ruled against us, we would have had two choices. In our county, if you own a pitbull mix you have to have a $100,000 insurance policy, a 6 foot fence surrounding your yard and if we ever took her for a walk she would have to be on a 6 foot chain leash with a muzzle. So if he had ruled against us, we either had to find a way to afford the new fence and insurance policy. Or we were going to have to return Maggie to the humane society. Luckily, we don't have to think about that...ever again. :) When Rob left to take her to see the dog warden though. I was devastated. I am not a dog person. Period. But I am absolutely a Maggie person and the idea of having to give her back broke my heart.

Of course, what week of chaos is complete without a visit to Dr. H for Mr. Emmett John? (Have I mentioned this is his third appointment in as many weeks? We've been busy, Mr. Emmett John and I, but that's another post.) I had to take Emmett John to see Dr. H at 2:00pm because he's had diarrhea for almost 3 weeks. He isn't sick. He isn't on any medications. At first we thought it was a side effect of the Zyrtec he was taking for his allergies so we expected it to clear up once it was out of his system. It hasn't. Now it's also gotten to a point where he's loosing weight because of it. So now we find ourselves back in the familiar land of Emmett John being sick and us not knowing why. I dropped off a stool sample at the local hospital so they could run a half dozen different tests to try and find the cause. We won't have the results back until Tuesday though since Monday is a holiday.

And so Thursday comes to an emotional close. All of the up-and-down up-and-down this week so far has made me nauseous. And I usually love roller coasters.

Friday, May 22nd, 2009
We finished out the week with a fairly calm day, by the rest of week's standards anyway. Gavin went to school where the Head of the local MST program sat in his classroom and observed him for an hour or so. He was in the office for 3-4 times in that hour, so Gavin did not disappoint. Which believe it or not, for once we were actually worried that he would hold it together and keep all of his bananas, thereby having a pretty good day. It would figure, wouldn't it? A woman comes to the classroom just to see his behavior and he has a wonderfully well-behaved day? lol That didn't happen though. Thank God again.

Then at 2:00pm Rob and I met Patty at Dr. R's office for an appointment with him to discuss what to do with Gavin.

They would like him to have some pretty heavy duty, in depth psychological testing done. The problem is that this particular testing is an art when given to adults but to give it to children and interpret it correctly is even more of an art. So it's even more difficult to find someone who not only performs the test but is good at it. Dr. R is going to find the people who perform the test. And Patty will review them and pick out just the right one.

Then we discussed medications. Dr. R said he doesn't like to pick a medication and work his way through the doses. Then if it doesn't work, move on to the next medication. However, in Gavin's case he said he doesn't see any other choice. So we left his Depakote alone, although he needs more blood work done. (Thankfully Rob and Grandpa G are taking him this time.) We also left his Klonopin alone. Dr. R did make the decision to increase Gavin's Zyprexa in the hopes that it would calm him down. Right now, all it's doing is doping him up, which I suppose is better than nothing. Although truthfully I don't want him to go through life doped up. At the same time, I can't have him lashing out at people and trying to assault others.

We also discussed if Rob and I should consider a different school for Gavin. I love his school. I think the world of everyone there. However, Rob and I are wondering how long Gavin is going to be able to stay there. Also most of the staff is young and looking to start their own families very soon. Gavin is violent enough when it's just him against himself or a staff member. The last thing we need is for it to come down to Gavin against a pregnant educator. Then there's the fact that he's constantly influencing the behavior of his classmates with his outbursts and meltdowns. There are a few options that Dr. R wants us to look into. So Rob and I will probably spent the summer researching them. Then we will tour them in the middle to the end of August and make our final decision then.

Overall, I guess it was an okay appointment. Rob left feeling better about it than I did. But it is what it is, I suppose.

That was our lovely week. I'm glad it's over. Although truth be told I don't expect the next week to be much different. Nor the one after that. Or the one after that. After all, it is the last 4 days of school this week. None of them are "education days". They are all fun days. And then it's summer vacation. I hate summer vacation, for a multitude of reasons really. But basically, I reached my saturation point for stress, drama and needless shenanigans a long time ago so I just don't have the patience for any of it anymore.

they are a blowing.

Here's in the Cheerio Household that is. (Okay, totally not our real last name but for the sake of some resemblance of privacy and safety work with me here.) Last Monday Rob and I saw Dr. R, Gavin's psychatrist and he feels that Gavin does not have signs of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), which was an idea Rob and I had been kicking around with Patty. He feels that it is much more likely a Conduct Disorder. Now some of you may read the definition of Conduct Disorder, shake your heads and say, "Nope, don't see it." I'm here to tell you that there is so much that most never see. So trust me when I tell you that Conduct Disorder fits. (It's another post entirely for me to explain all the reasons why and I'll try to get to that post ASAP.)

Dr. R said that there is a therapy here in our hometown that is supposed to do wonders with kids with Conduct Disorders. It's called MST. He also stated that children with Conduct Disorders do well in a strictly structured, prison-like environment. Now our lives are structured already. However, if "prison-like" structure is what we need to keep our family afloat then "prison-like" is what we shall have. I'm in the process of putting a plan into action that will create this ultra-structured environment for my family.

I don't do well with structure as a whole. My brain just doesn't seem to work that way. Whenever I attempt to force it to, it just doesn't work out well. However, it is my hope that if it is my plan and implemented by me then I will be okay with it. Believe me when I say this isn't a simple plan by any stretch of the imagination. I'll have to lay it all out for y'all sometime but right now I hear laundry and dishes calling my name.

So the winds of change, they are a blowing. Hopefully they blow us someplace nicer than where we currently are.

Tomorrow is Gavin Alexander's 9th birthday. I can't believe that 9 years have gone by already. Likewise, I can't believe all that we have survived and endured over the past 9 years. Wow.

If you follow me on Twitter, you may have read about Thursday's 9 year well-child check-up. If you don't, hold on tight because it was a bumpy ride!

First things first, the stats:

Height: 54.3in/4ft 5.3in (75%)
Weight: 63lb 2oz (51%)
BP: 80/62
Vision: 20/25

My darling bottomless pit has only gained 2oz in the past few months. Dr. H doesn't seem worried. In fact, he said he's very happy with Gavin's height and weight because he's consistantly gaining and growing. I guess, in the end, that's all that truly matters. Although between you and me, I wouldn't mind if some weight stuck to him because it's getting next to impossible to find pants that are both long enough and slim enough to fit him. (lol)

He hasn't really grown any either. I mean he's grown like 0.3in but that doesn't seem like much. As long as Dr. H is happy though, I'm good.

Gavin had taken his "Funfolio" with him to the appointment to help keep him distracted. (That think is amazing!) So while Rob and I talked to Dr. H, Gavin sat and drew pictures and played. We discussed the fact that Gavin was due for a chickenpox booster. Dr. H said that we could do a blood test to see if the booster was necessary but that would mean the possibility of having to bring Gavin back in at another time for the booster shot anyway. We opted out of that. Then we discussed the fact that Gavin has never had bloodwork. No liver panel. Or kidney functions. Or CBC. Or even a lead level. While none of us relished the fact that the bloodwork was obviously necessary, we did agree that it had to be done. Dr. H even schmoozed the Lab Ladies into sending a Lab Tech up to do the bloodwork while we had him held down for the booster shot. Apparently because of Gavin's PICA we need to do lead levels on him more frequently than usual to make sure that he isn't slowly poisoning himself. (Yippee.) After we talked and caught Dr. H up (this was his first time seeing Gavin for a well-child appointment), he did his exam. Everything was perfect.

Then we discussed the fact that Gavin has dextracardia. Dr. H seemed a little...excited by the fact that Gavin has dextrocardia. (lol) He said that he had learned about it in medical school but had never actually seen a case before so he wanted to do some research and get back to me about it. He said depending on what he learns in his research he may want to schedule some tests to see the extent of the dextrocardia's effect on Gavin. Dextrocardia is incredibly rare. The rarest form is when the heart is flipped and lies on the right side of the chest and nothing else is effected. There are other forms where all the organs in the body are flipped and on the opposite side, which is the most common form of dextrocardia. There can also be lung and other issues tied to the dextrocardia. So we are waiting to hear back from Dr. H about what he would like us to do on that.

After the exam and all of the grown-up talk, Dr. H left to see another patient while the nurses gathered and the Lab Tech made her way up to our room. The point of no return had arrived.

Dr. H had wanted to be in the room to help us during the shot and bloodwork but once Gavin figured out what was about to go down, well the anxiety was too much for him so we opted to get started without him. It took 2 nurses, 1 Lab Tech, Rob and myself to hold Gavin down for his booster shot. We opted to lay him on the exam table so that we could just transition from the shot to the bloodwork. When Rob picked Gavin up to lay him on the table Gavin flung his legs out trying to hook his feet under the exam table and a chair to keep us from laying him down. Let me tell you, he may look little but my boy is a scrapper! He fought hard! Luckily I had the presence of mind to tell Rob to leave Gavin's shoes off otherwise things would have been pretty painful on my end. Dr. H's nurse that always treats Emmett John, Christine, was the one giving the booster. God bless her. I've never seen anyone give a shot so quick in my life!

Not only is Gavin strong but he has a set of lungs on him! He screamed. He begged. He pleaded. It was horrible and heart-breaking for me as his mother (and Rob as his father) to hear him. He was desperate and begging us to stop it and "don't let them do this to me". At one point I could do little else besides hide in the corner and shake. Well, during all of the hullabaloo Dr. H was in the neighboring exam room and he began to BEAT on the wall. He hit it so hard you could see the wall shaking! It was crazy. Just after we got the booster in, while Gavin was catching his breath and before he had figured out the Lab Tech's role Dr. H came rushing into the room. He walked over to Gavin's side and began helped to hold him still. All the while telling Gavin, "It's okay buddy. I'm here. It's almost over but we have to do it." It was so nice to see how much he cared about my special little boy. Well, Gavin wasn't having any of it. He looked Dr. H in the eye and screamed as loudly as he could, "I.Don't.Like.You.Anymore!" Dr. H just took it in stride and told Gavin, "I know you don't but it has to be done buddy. I'm sorry." In the end, the Lab Tech took 6 vials of blood so that they could run all of the necessary tests. Gavin was hysterical during the whole thing. The Tech was awesome. Gavin has never had bloodwork done before, unless you count the bloodwork he had done 9 years ago in the hospital. I'm really curious what it will show.

Overall, the day was one of our more stressful with Gavin. At least more stressful and unrelated to court or Gavin's meltdowns for anger-based-reasons. I'm so glad to have it over and done with though. On the bright side, Gavin doesn't have to get any more shots - booster or otherwise - until he's like 15 years old. Woo who! In the end, he played the drama card for a little while after the appointment but he made a full recovery by Friday. Plus, as a bonus for...surviving...he got to spend the night at Grandma W's house! Then Grandpa W asked if he could spend Friday night there as well. Woo who! So Gavin got a cool reward for having survived the day. And Mommy and Daddy got some time to recover. (lol)

As the first full week of 2009 slowly but surely comes to a close, I find myself praying that the next 51 weeks improve. lol

It's not that it's been a bad week perse. Just busy.

Monday was spent running around. Farmer's Market. Grocery store. All on a doughnut because our tire blew - thank you careless roofing guys. Tuesday was spent doing more running around. An appointment for me. An appointment for Gavin. Today was calmer, I suppose. Emmett John had his 6 month well-baby checkup at 12noon. We didn't get out of there until 2pm. Home at about 2:30pm. Then off to pick-up Gavin and home again. Then tomorrow I've got an appointment. Rob has an appointment. Then Gavin has 2 appointments. My plan for Friday is simple. Up. Gavin to school. Bloodwork done. Gavin home. Done.

On to the good stuff...Mr. Emmett John's 6 month well-baby checkup. :)

Weight: 19lb. 3oz.
Length: 28in.
Head circ: 44cm.
Vaccines: Rotovirus, Flu, DTaP, Prevnar

Dr. H and I talked about a lot of things. Emmett John has horrible excema on the backs of both his legs and a small patch between his eyebrows. He said the excema itself isn't a concern but the fact that as soon as you uncover Emmett John's legs his hands fly down there and he starts scratching like crazy. His legs look like he tried to kick a cat and lost, horribly. I've been trying to treat it with the Johnsons & Johnsons pink "new baby smell" lotion but it's only gotten us so far. Dr. H wants us to stop using all of the "baby friendly" J&J products because they have dyes and scents in them that make the excema worse. We have to switch him to Dove Sensitive Skin but not use it on his hair. (Dr. H said that with the peach fuzz Emmett John has a damp cloth should be good enough. lol) There is also a new lotion he wants us to use and if that doesn't help get rid of the rest of it then we are to switch to a 1% hydrocortisone cream. Hopefully it won't come to that.

We have been given the okay to switch to the "big boy" carseat. I will miss the convenience of the carrier but he's passed the length limit and rapidly closing in on the weight limit. My only concern with the switch is whether or not the new carseat will fit in the back of the car with Elliott Richard's carseat. I wish we had a van. :(

We also formulated a plan of attack for the milk-free diet and the Prevacid. When Emmett John is 8 months old I am allowed to try something with a tiny bit of milk in it. If Emmett John handles it okay, then I'm allowed to begin slowly re-introducing milk back into my diet. If he wakes up at 3am the morning after I eat it, then I have to go back to milk-free. Honestly, I'll be surprised if he handles it okay. You never know, I guess. Then at 9 months I am supposed to "skip" a dose of his Prevacid one morning. If he does okay without it then we are supposed to stop giving it to him. If he is a great big "bundle of fuss and grump" then he wants us to keep giving it to him.

Then of course he got his vaccines, which he was less than thrilled with. He handled them like a trooper though. I think he's angrier that his legs are held down than over the shots themselves. The nurse who gave him the shots is in love with him and seeks him out to say "Hi" everytime she sees him on the patient list. :) I just love her. (Wish I could remember her name but it escapes me at the moment. I plead sleep deprivation.) After she gave him his shots we had an interesting conversation about all the young, new moms coming in and refusing vaccines. But that's another post.

He's been doing really well today. Except for the fact that I decided in my infinite mommy wisdom to try Mr. Emmett John on green beans for the first time. About an hour or so after eating, he projectile vommitted all over me, himself and the couch. So now we are going to wait 4-5 days (per Dr. H) and try the green beans again. If he doesn't puke, then it's probably the combination of the vaccines and green beans that just didn't sit well. If he does puke, then at least green beans are loads easier to avoid then milk. :)

So we left Dr. H's office and went into the basement of the building to their Radiology department. Mom G hung out with Mr. Emmett John. We waited for maybe 5-10 minutes before the pager (like they use at popular restaurants) went off. I went back with him but then the Radiology tech kicked me out of the room. Gavin said he was okay with me leaving the room, so I went. Before I left I explained to him what was going to happen. He took one look at all the big tubes and whatnot coming from and going to the x-ray machine and asked if we were going to suck his stomach out of his body to take it's picture. (God love him.) I then explained again what would happen and tried my best to assure him that we were not going to suck his stomach out to take it's picture. I was an absolute nervous wreck while they were in there but Gavin did beautifully. He told me later that he was still a little scared about the whole stomach sucking thing but after the first x-ray (they took 2) he was okay. :)

Now we wait. As I said before, Dr. H said he will call me tomorrow and give me the results. If there is something there, we will formulate a plan of attack. If the x-ray is clean, we will just keep an eye on Gavin. If he gets worse, we will obviously call Dr. H back. So now we play the waiting game. Fun. Fun.

I just want to say that I am so incredibly proud of Gavin. Dr. H had about a half dozen newborn patients come in while we waited which threw his schedule off in a big way so we ended up waiting for like an hour in the waiting room. Gavin almost lost it a few times but for the most part he held it together. When we saw Dr. H he answered his questions to the best of his ability and he held it together. The x-rays went far better than I had even dared to hope for. It felt as if I had a hybrid of Gavin-before-Autism and Gavin-with-Autism. His answers and many behaviors were very Autistic. But the manner in which he handled the day was very unlike Gavin with Autism. It was nice and I am so proud of him.

Okay, Emmett John is fussy so this is going to be the fastest update I can manage. (Yeah, right. lol) Please forgive me if this seems jumbled and disconnected, Emmett John and Elliott Richard aren't big on sleep at the moment.

I'm sorry I haven't posted in nearly forever. I simply haven't been in the mood, which stinks because I was hoping to partake in NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month) but I can only do so much. I do apologize though if my being MIA has made any of you worry.

Gavin

About a month ago Gavin was started on a new bi-polar medication, 150mg Trileptal BID. Everything was fine. It seemed to be working. His moods were gradually evening out. Then the bottom fell out. His moods took a nose dive. He began rapid cycling again. So we called Dr. R and he decided to double Gavin's dose to 300mg BID, which he had planned to do anyway. So two weeks ago, we double the Trileptal. We give Gavin his meds and proceed with getting ready for Gavin and Elliott Richard's flu shot appointments. On our way to Dr. H's office for flu shots, Gavin broke out in a serious rash. Dr. H wasn't in the office but one of the other peds saw him and confirmed that it was a reaction to the Trileptal. She said that there wasn't anything we could do for the itching (apparently Benedryl doesn't work on drug reaction rashes), so that was fun. We were told to keep an eye on his breathing etc but told he should be fine. (Ever try explaining to an Autistic 8 year old that he can't scratch and you can't help the itch? Yeah, I don't recommend it.) Since the ped wasn't worried, we sent Gavin to my Mom's as planned. At like midnight or 1am our phone rings. Gavin now has a fever, the chills etc. His breathing was fine so Mom gave him Tylenol for the fever and we all went back to sleep. He was fine in the morning so it appeared that the worst had passed. Until he got home. The chills, fever etc had returned. He was now running a 104 degree fever! So Rob is calling Dr. R and Dr. H's offices trying to figure out what to do. I'm trying to get Gavin comfortable and giving him Tylenol etc. Dr. R's office decides he has the flu and not a drug reaction at all. Dr. H's office said to keep a very close eye on him, if anything changed or the fever hit 105 we were told to call back ASAP. To give a general idea of how Gavin was feeling, he went to bed at 5pm and slept through the night until 8am the next day!!!!!! (This is a big deal because I don't think he's slept that much since he was Emmett John's age!) On the bright side, he recovered really quick. On the not-so-bright side, I'm definitely not going to win "Mother of the Year" this year. When Gavin went back to school, I accidentally gave him the 150mg dose of Trileptal. Luckily, he survived and we now know for 100% certain that Dr. H was right (it was a drug reaction) and Dr. R was wrong (it was NOT the flu). So while he broke out in a rash again, he handled it like a champ and it was gone within a day or two. So since this whole drama went down Gavin has been unmedicated for his bi-polar, which at the very least is making things interesting. Rob and I see Dr. R today to figure out what the next step is.

Other than that whole mess, things with Gavin have been fairly....typical for Gavin. He's rapid cycling. We're struggling to keep up with him. The whole situation is just exhausting. Of course that could have something to do with the fact that he hasn't adjusted to the time change at all. He puts himself to bed at 6pm every night and asks for him meals an hour early. We've tried to explain it to him but he doesn't get it. Poor thing. Hopefully he'll adjust soon.

On a positive note, a few days after the adoption was finalized (we should have the paperwork any day now - woo who!) the school had an Awards Assembly for the students. Gavin received awards for Perfect Attendance (which was blown for this grading period with the drug reaction), an award for meeting his reading goals with his Title 1 tutor, and another one I can't remember. (Hey, I already told you I wasn't winning Mother of the Year.) The school even went and changed his name on all of his awards so that they read Gavin G. :)

Elliott Richard

Well, unofficially potty training has begun. We've started buying Elliott Richard Lightning McQueen Pull-Ups. It took a little bit of convincing to get him to wear them but now he's in love. He's now changing his own diapers, well, he's taking his wet (and dirty - unfortunately) diapers off and then running around the house buck naked screaming "New biper!" He also tells us (sometimes before and sometimes after the diaper removal) that he's peed or pooped. He will sit on the potty, sometimes for nearly an hour. Then he gets up, puts on a Pull-Up and pees. Oy. So progress is slow and basically non-existent at some points but we are getting there.

During Gavin's whole Trileptal reaction, Elliott Richard received his flu shot. I expected a lot of tears and screaming. Daddy said that he was fine with the shot. (I was meeting with the ped about Gavin.) It was having his legs held down that ticked him off. Once they let him go, he was fine. lol I swear he never ceases to amaze me.

Other than that stuff, there's really not much to report in the land of Elliott Richard. He's still completely obsessed with Emmett John and helping me as much as possible. Which usually means that whatever I'm doing is taking twice as long as it would normally but whatever. He's growing like a weed. Eating us out of house and home or not eating at all. (I just love the terrible two's!) And as his hair grows back from his first hair cut, I'm thrilled to say that it is still wavy/curly! :)

Emmett John

I think I probably have the most to update on when it comes to Mr. Emmett John.

I'm thrilled to report that Emmett John is now the new and improved wireless version. We saw Dr. K and our nurse Vick at the Apnea Clinic last month (yes, I'm really that behind). The only concern they had was one Apneic episode that wasn't a full-fledged episode. His breathing slowed way down and then seconds after his breathing picked up again his heart rate dropped. Since they didn't happen simultaneously, it doesn't count as a true Apneic Episode and he was cleared for release. :)

Since then, he's gained a few pounds and grew a few inches. He now weighs 17lb 3oz and is 26.75 inches long!!!! That's the 80th and 90th percentiles respectively!! Craziness I tell ya.

He's been babbling and laughing (whenever he isn't screaming in pain from the reflux) for a while now but he's recently added the squealing to his list of tricks. He seems to have a very select sense of humor though. Only certain silly noises, scaring/startling him and whatever it is Daddy does seems to amuse him. Although there are times now when he will laugh when he hears someone else laugh, which is super cute! He gets super excited when he sees Mommy, Daddy or Elliott Richard. (Gavin hasn't shown much interest in him so Emmett John doesn't see him hardly ever.) He's rolled over but didn't seem terribly impressed with the accomplishment and hasn't done it in a while. He can't decide between his thumb, his Nuk binkie (he'll take other binkies but strongly prefers the Nuks), and this little blanket I actually bought for Gavin like 7 years ago. He had his first bowl of cereal on Wednesday. In keeping with his tradition of being polar opposite of everything I know from raising Gavin and Elliott Richard, Emmett loves his cereal. I couldn't shovel it in fast enough. lol He holds on to toys that we hand him for a moment or two but gets the biggest kick out of reaching/batting at his hanging toys on his bouncy seat. Speaking of which, he loves that bouncy seat. He'd sit there and kick (making it bounce) all day long if it weren't for little annoyances like hunger and diaper changes. lol

We are keeping a close eye on his reflux because he is on 15mg of Prevacid once a day and he developed a hoarse voice about two weeks ago that isn't really going away. It hasn't gotten any worse, which is something I suppose, but it's not really improving either. We saw Dr. H yesterday for his 4 month checkup and 3 of the 5 vaccines he was due for. Dr. H said to give it until the middle/end of next week, if it hasn't gone away by then I'm supposed to call back and he'll send Emmett to a ENT to have his vocal cords checked out. Other than the hoarseness, Mr. Emmett John is practically perfect in every way. And quite possibly the cutest 4.5 month old in the house. ;)

The Adoption & Legal Issues

Not a whole lot to report on this front. The paperwork for the adoption has been filed. We are just waiting on the judge to sign and date them and get them back to my attorney. At that point I can drive around town and change Gavin's last name with everyone. The school is almost as excited about this as we are. ;)

As for the fact that Gavin will never see them again, well Rob is currently out having "Guy Time" with Gavin to discuss that very fact. Per the suggestion of Dr. R. So I will be sure to update you on how that went when I know more.

There is still the small matter of the contempt motion that Pam filed against me. I filed an objection on September 4th and we just learned that the courts are requesting transcripts from the court date on July 31st. (You know, the court date I didn't attend because I felt it wasn't in Emmett John's best interest?) John, my attorney, emailed Pam's attorney handling the matter and informed him of the adoption and the circumstances surrounding the adoption and the only response he's received so far was "I'll have to get back to you." This lead me to believe that Pam and/or Nick hadn't informed him that Nick no longer has any rights to Gavin. That was probably an interesting conversation. The way John has explained it to me, Pam can drop the whole case but since I didn't do what I was court ordered to do the magistrate can still try and force the jail time issue if he really has a bee in his bonnet over me. This remains to be seen, however, I'll be sure to let you know as soon as I do.

Life in General

Life in general is...well, it's life. I'm exhausted. Emmett John gets up at 4am every morning. Elliott Richard usually isn't too far behind - getting up at 5 or 6am. I'm up so I usually just bring Elliott downstairs with me so that Rob can sleep. That way if we have a few empty hours during the day I can grab a nap. I've started seeing my therapist, Nina, again. I love her. She also has a massage therapist, Kim, whom I also love. She does wonders for my fibro, which is currently kicking my butt. So overall, things are...trying to find a new sort of norm.

Okay, I started this at like 8am this morning. It's now 4pm. Emmett John is screaming because he's tired and starving. I have a raging migraine. We are going to lay down. (Woo whoo!) As soon as Daddy mows up the leaves. (Stupid lawn. Stupid trees. Stupid fall.)