Cheerio Confessions

1. What do you read when you are sitting on the toilet?
Whichever book I'm on in whichever series I'm stuck on and re-reading repeatedly.

2. Do you pee in the shower?
Uh...ew!

3. Do you always wash your hands after you use the toilet?
Yes, I do.

4. Do you allow someone to come into the bathroom while you are using the toilet?
Cleo is usually in there with me. Sometimes Elliott Richard or Emmett John will be in there with me, although Elliott Richard won't be permitted with me for much longer. Then Rob is in there with me when we're getting ready for bed at night. Yeah, after 3 kids you kind of lose your sense of privacy. (lol)

5. Do you clean your shower in the nude?
Nooooo...???

6. When you use the toilet at someone else's house do you go through their medicine cabinet and/or their bathroom cabinets and drawers?
No, I think about it but I'm always terrified that they will hear me opening the cabinet or drawers. So I leave them alone.

7. For the Men...Have you ever left the toilet seat up on purpose to irritate the woman in your life?
Last I checked, I was a woman so this doesn't apply to me.

8. For the Women...Have you ever fallen into the toilet because someone left the toilet seat up?
Yes, I have. The worst was when I was pregnant with Mr. Emmett John and I fell in at 3am. I was a seriously angry pregnant woman!

9. Do you courtesy flush?
Butt, of course. (lol) Ha ha ha, I made a funny.

10. Do you light a match or a candle or spray an air freshner when you are finished pooping?
Yes, I doo. (lol) That one was a total typo but still a funny one. =)

11. Have you ever fallen asleep on the toilet?
Again, I think I may have dozed off while pregnant with Mr. Emmett John.

12. What is the strangest thing you have ever flushed down the toilet?
I'd have to say tampons off the top of my head. There's just something about tampons that seems a little...odd to me. I don't know why. I know their purpose, obviously, since I use them monthly and all. They still strike me as odd and kind of freak me out. (lol)

I stole this from Jennifer over at BPD in OKC. I would say if you want to play along head over there and steal it from her but that's silly. Instead, I'll link you to the blog that she got it from Monday Mayhem. So head over there. Copy the questions. Answer them. And add yourself to Mr. Linky. =)

Enjoy! =)

3/28

I am in the mood to blog, however, I don't feel very well at the moment. So I am going to follow in Alexis' footsteps and simply post "My Life According to Google". Enjoy!

My life according to Google:

Type in the following and choose from the first description found. Be honest, don't just pick one out to be funny.

1: Type in "[your first name] needs" in the Google search:
Elizabeth needs to do her homework and realize that she is sitting ... (Yes, I am sitting but no, I do not have homework. I haven't had homework for the better part of 5 years.)

2: Type in "[your first name] looks like" in Google search:
Elizabeth looks like an angel and plays the harp like a ... (Well, I definitely cannot play the harp. As for looking like an angel...I suppose it depends upon who you ask and when.)

3: Type in "[your first name] hates" in Google search:
Elizabeth,Hates Her Parents,Christ,Jupiter,she's little destructive,A little abusive,Judy turn down your radio ... (Let's see here: Sometimes but mostly in my angsty teenage years. Not even close. Why bother? If the situation calls for it, yes, I can be. I try not to be unless your name is Trisha. *eg* What does my Great Aunt Judy have to do with anything?)

4: Type in "[your first name] goes" in Google search:
Elizabeth Goes To Play Therapy... (Of all the types of therapy I'm sure I probably need, play therapy is probably at the bottom of the list. Sounds like fun though.)

5: Type in "[your first name] loves" in Google search:
Queen Elizabeth loves the Wii... (Well, God Bless the Queen! And get on with your bad-self Your Majesty!)

6: Type in "[your first name] eats" in Google search:
Elizabeth, an actress, poker player and dancer, eats a banana seductively in the video link. Some people thought it was worthy of singling out ... (Not an actress. Suck at Poker. Love to dance but I'm only good at ballet. And no. Sorry.)

7: Type in "[your first name] has" in Google search
Elizabeth has 10 times the lifespan of workers and lays up to 2000 eggs a day... (I. Am. NOT. A. Chicken!)

8: Type in "[your first name] works" in Google search:
Elizabeth Works To Put Herself Through Medical School 2004.... (Wow! I'm a Queen, an actress, poker player, dancer, chicken AND a doctor?! Sweet Mary, do I SLEEP, EVER?)

9: Type in"[your first name] lives" in Google search:
Elizabeth Lives to Love... (Yeah, that's pretty accurate.)

10: Type in "[your first name] died" in Google search:
(The Death of Good Queen Bess) Elizabeth died at Richmond Palace on 24 March 1603, leaving behind a rich and prosperous country. (Man, I was dead before I even got a chance to achieve any of #8.)

Seriously? Two Terrorists in one family? There should be some sort of rule against that. It just isn't fair.

Incidentally, whomever said that it was the "Terrible 2's" is full of it. Clean up to their eyeballs, full of it. I guarantee that once that parent said that, they took it back 365 days later. Once the "Terrible" left the building and the "Terrorist" took over, all bets were off and that parents went *forehead desk* "I was a complete idiot. I hope no one remembers I said that." Well, guess what buddy...We all remember.

It is currently 8:29pm EST. I have been sitting in this same rocking chair for 1 hour and 29 minutes listening to a screaming, whining, begging, pleading, bargaining Terrorist. Apparently he hasn't heard that Americans don't negotiate with Terrorists. Someone should probably let him know. He's not speaking to me or I would tell him. God only knows how much longer I will sit here while Elliott Richard does everything shy of throwing himself out his second story window to try and stay awake and get out of going to bed. Gavin has already fallen asleep - that tells you how long this has gone on. It's insanity.

Of course one of his favorite tactics is the "Daddy Guilt" method. He screams and pleads "Daddy help me", "Daddy save me", "Daddy, Daddy please" as if I'm up here systematically and heartlessly jamming bamboo shoots under his fingernails rather than surfing the net or working on turning my home into a prison. And off course Rob will call up "Are you okay honey", "Do you need anything", "Can I help you" which of course is just enough to feed the idea in Elliott Richard's mind that Daddy is coming to save the day. And so what does he do? Why he kicks it up a notch, obviously.

Why doesn't anyone mention this stuff in birthing classes?! "Oh by the way, yeah that video looks horrible and painful. Yeah, you're probably scared witless right now. But seriously, wait until this kid is THREE. *insert evil laugh here* That's when the real pain starts and it only gets worse from there."

Yeah, I think I would have seriously reconsidered this whole "parenting gig" had someone mentioned that way back when....okay, probably not but it still would have been nice to have been properly informed.

Sssssshhhhhh....do you hear that? Apparently, I was wrong. Elliott Richard didn't outlast Gavin. He just out-screamed him. Either way you look at it, no easy feat. But since my Terrorist is finally asleep. I'm outta here!

BTW, it's now 8:44pm. 1 hour and 44 minutes spent with a Terrorist 3 year old. Oy.

So I discovered MckMama's blog the other day. I became addicted. So I have been reading from the beginning, trying desperately to catch up. Well, I'm thrilled to announce that I am now caught up to April 2008! (Yippee! lol) Anyway, she did a few posts in April where she answered questions from those reading her blog.

Well, it's been commented before (by a jerk true but commented nonetheless) that I don't share everything. So if there has ever been something you wanted to know. My favorite color. What my email address means. What I had for lunch. Whatever. Now's the time to ask.

Sound good? Works for me.

Off you go now...ask me some questions...go on...you know you want to...

If you are in need of a good laugh or you would just simply like to laugh but don't need it you simply MUST check out the post by MckMama. I laugh so hard I cry - every single time I read it. (Maybe that just shows how sick/sleep deprived I am but whatever.)

Rest assured blog readers, my blog appears to be pretty kid (and Mom-in-Law) friendly. :)


Created by OnePlusYou - Free Dating

I've been thinking about calling Emmett John "Tiny Bubbles" because of the foam he's gotten so good at producing. There's even a song by Don Ho about "Tiny Bubbes"...how perfect!

Tiny Bubbles
words & music by Leon Pober
sung by Don Ho

Tiny bubbles (tiny bubbles)
In the wine (in the wine)
Make me happy (make me happy)
Make me feel fine (make me feel fine)

Tiny bubbles (tiny bubbles)
Make me warm all over
With a feeling that I'm gonna
Love you till the end of time

So here's to the golden moon
And here's to the silver sea
And mostly here's a toast
To you and me

So here's to the ginger lei
I give to you today
And here's a kiss
That will not fade away

And this being my blog I am about to subject you to my theories. :) Don't you feel lucky?

Theory #1: Procreation and Fertilization
We need to evolve so that the second there is a fertilized egg that successfully implants, there is a warning. I don't care what this warning is. It could be a literal glow, like our whole belly just *lights up*. Or a light within our belly button. Heck, in keeping with the "pee on a stick" tradition, something could change with our urine. Whatever it is, it needs to be obvious. It needs to scream, "Hey you, lady! You're pregnant!" Perhaps if the pregnancy results in twins (or more) the light within the belly button could be...flashing. Something to say, "Oh and by the way, there's more than one."

Yes, I'm taking the "fun" out of finding out your pregnant. Yes, I'm making it impersonal. But you know what, if you've never struggled with the Hell that is known as "The 2ww" (The 2 Week Wait) then you don't know how much those two weeks hurt. And just how much all of those pee sticks cost! Besides, this is my crazy, messed up list of theories. :) lol

Theory #2: Notification of Sex

No. No. No. I do not mean a notification that you are going to have sex or have had sex. Hopefully you already picked up on those signals and they resulted in Theory #1.

I mean that the sex of the child (fetus/embryo - whatever) is determined at fertilization. Therefore it's perfectly reasonable to want to be notified as soon as possible as to the sex. (For those of you who wish to be "surprised" - sorry surprises have no room in my theories.)

Oh, I know! The light! (Or the urine, whichever option you went with. If you went with urine and you have boy/girl twins then your urine would be purple.) The light will be blue or pink depending upon the sex of the child. And if it does happen to be boy/girl twins it would flash pink and blue, alternating of course. Yes, that's perfect. The light is directly tied to the sex. (And for those of you who don't like "blue for boys and pink for girls" - again I'm sorry. These are my theories and it's just easier to have blue = boys and pink= girls. Nothing sexist about it. It's all about convenience.)

There now we have it established that not only am I pregnant, but the sex and number of fetus(es). The next problem to arise with pregnancy, is naming the child.

Theory #3: The Naming

As some of you know, naming a child can be HELL! Sure, sometimes it works out all nice and neat...You open that baby name book to exactly the right page at that exactly right, cosmic moment and the stars align, the angels sing and the name literally jumps up off the page and does a little jig for while screaming "ME! ME! ME! I'm the perfect name!"

Well, to those of you who are lucky enough to have those moments...pfth on you! :p

The rest of us spend hours upon hours, reading every baby name book ever written (no matter how obscure), searching websites, checking meanings, popularity, spellings...the list goes on and on. We find a name and it feels "sort of right" but not quite there. Kind of like your second favorite pair of jeans. The pair that are your first choice only when your favorite pair is dirty and in the wash. They fit. They feel okay. But they just aren't perfect! So we keep looking. We re-read the baby name books, the websites. We ask friends, family, the telemarketer that dared to call, and the cashier at the grocery store what names they like. We consider every name ever known to man. Literally. No name is too off-the-wall for a brief period...

Cosmo, Tallulah, Nevaeh...the list goes on and on. Just look at the celebrities! Do you think they wanted to name their children "Pilot Inspector" or "Fifi-Trixiebelle"?! No! Of course they didn't. But they couldn't decide. It came down to the wire. Their children were going to have blank birth certificates and go through life as "Baby Boy" or "Baby Girl", which honestly may have been preferable to the chosen names but that's neither here nor there. Now those poor children are saddled with horrible names! That's a lot of pressure on a parent!

There has to be a way to find out what our children are destined to be named without the hours of reading and stressing. Let's see...for the religious (or non-sci-fi inclined) we could go with a dream. A divine intervention if you will. You go to sleep (having already had your pink and/or blue light warning) and the child comes to you and tells you, "My name is..." There you go, problem solved. In the time span of a week tops, you have managed to not only discover that you are pregnant but also learn the pre-destined name for your child(ren). At this point you breathe deep sigh of relief and focus on enjoying your pregnancy. (Ah, life is good.)

But...wait...what's that? You aren't the religious type and don't really believe in "divine intervention dreams"? Okay, fine then. Let's see...we could go sci-fi? Something along the lines of "Battlestar Galactica". I mean we have colored lights in our belly buttons so why not run with that, right? So, you've had you light experience. You now know you are pregnant. You also know the number of fetus(es) and the sex(es). At that point, your body is kind enough to spit out a print out. I'll allow you to use your imagination as to where this print out comes from. (Get your mind out of the gutter! Shame on you. Honestly, this is a family blog!) I was thinking along the lines of mouth, ear, or slit from behind your ear. Whatever. with the name destined for your child.

Either way, you now have the fact that you are definitely pregnant, the sex of the child(ren), and the name(s). Life is good. Life is peaceful. And that's one less thing to stress out over for the next 9 months. Besides think of all the shopping you could get done from the get-go! (Ah, shopping, I miss you so.)

Theory #4: The Warning System

For those of us prone to high risk pregnancies and even for those prone but blissfully unaware of what's looming on the horizon, there should be an advanced warning system. I honestly don't care what it is. A letter from God in the mail would work. Another divine intervention dream. Or in keeping with the light theory, the light could change to RED. Bright, nearly blinding red that simply screams "WARNING". This light would also activate if at any point something goes "wrong" allowing the mother-to-be to know that, "Hey, we need to book it to L&D!" (I can't tell you how many times I've begged for this warning system over the past 6 months.) This warning system would also serve double duty, it would also serve as warning for the OB as well. That way there's no question. It's not the mother-to-be being over-protective or worrying too much. It means there is something off that needs to be explored.

Theory #5: Labor & Delivery

When it comes time for "the big day", again there should be warning. Some of us are lucky enough to have our water obviously break in the very beginning. Thereby forcing us to stop and say, "Uh oh, it's time." However, most of us never get that warning. So we spend hours and days and sleepless nights trying to time contractions and judge on a ridiculous scale of 1-10 what our pain is. (I hate that stupid scale.) When we should be resting. Or not worrying because it's false labor. Or hauling booty to L&D because "it's time" was actually 12 hours ago, which means you are rapidly approaching the land of no return. Other wise known as, "the land of NO EPIDURAL"! (AH! The horror! And for those of you who prefer natural childbirth, bravo for you. However, if God had intended for me to go naturally he would have seen fit to have me born before epidurals were discovered. As I was not born then - at least not that I can recall - I choose to go with the beloved epidural.)

So there needs to be a warning system here as well. Let's see...it can't be the same as Theory #4's warning system. That would be entirely too confusing. So let's just make it completely obvious, shall we?

On the religious/non-sci-fi front, we could yet another divine intervention dream. It's a simple dream. A timer is all we need. So you close your eyes. Go to sleep. And all you dream is a rapidly counting down timer telling you that you have X days, X hours, X minutes, X seconds before "it's time" becomes "Happy Birthday".

For the sci-fi inclined, rather than a dream we still get the timer. (X days, X hours, X minutes, X seconds) Only it shows across our belly. No denying that warning now is there. Either way you have an idea of how long before the end, which gives you plenty of time to haul booty to L&D and get that beloved epidural (if you so choose). Or to wait it out at home before calling your midwife and having a baby.

There we have it. Pregnancy from start to finish. No muss. No fuss. No questioning. No second-guessing. Just in and out, "Pregnancy in a Can" if you will. All the convenience of fast food without the calories! ;) lol

Ah, if only life were so simple...

It's Day 39 and the full moon will be here on Sunday (according to some fancy program Rob put on my phone lol). I'm not usually a believer in this whole "full moon" thing. Although I do know from experience that L&D seems to be busier during a full moon. But my household seems to have collectively gone insane and the only answer is the pending full moon. Allow me to show you my "evidence"...

Defendant: Lizze
Charges: 1 Felony count preterm labor, 1 misdemeanor count placenta previa, 1 misdemeanor count of pressure, 1 misdemeanor count of cramping/contractions
Additional Info: Defendant has a history of 1 Felony count preterm labor leading to premature birth and 1 Felony count PROM (Premature Rupture Of Membranes)

Sentencing took place at 3:20 pm EST Monday March 10, 2008. Dr. D acting as residing judge/jury.

Sentence: Modified bed rest and general loss of freedom. Defendant shall also submit to twice daily injections, twice daily doses of medications and continue the weekly injections already sentenced by the courts. Defendant shall also submit monthly blood tests to track the proper administration of said injections and medications.

Duration: Defendant shall follow sentence until Wednesday, July 23, 2008 or the birth of 1 minor, Tiny, which ever comes first.

The weekend seemed to drag on forever as usual. Gavin spent the night at Lizze's mothers on Friday even though she had plans the next day. (Thank you!)

We haven't seen much improvement in Gavin yet. He has only been on the meds for a few days but I was hoping it would be quicker. The new meds make him very sleepy at night which helps him to sleep through most of the night but I imagine that will soon wear off. I guess he does seem a little less active then he was prior. Honestly though I am pretty out of it still so I am not sure I'm the best person to ask right now.

I am still really sick. I haven't slept much in the past 4 days. I am living in 4 hour increments because that's when I get to take my meds again and feel slightly better for a little while. I have another round of antibiotics to go but I don't believe I'm contagious anymore.

Elliott is doing just fine. I think he is going stir crazy because he is coped up all day but that's to be expected during the winter. When we feel better we will take him out for a while. Speaking of Elliott he turns 2 in the morning. We haven't decided what we are going to do for his birthday yet.

We have to weigh everything against what Gavin can handle and in turn what we can handle from Gavin. If we have a party for Elliott, Gavin will get all worked up (to say the least) and we have to deal with the fall out from that for days. We have sadly found that sometimes it just isn't worth it. As it is, we are barley surviving now(Why tempt fate). But as I'm sick now anyways we will have a few extra days to figure out what we are going to do. We really want Elliott to experience a nice birthday.

Finally, as I am typing this, Lizze is running around like crazy cleaning and doing laundry. Can you say "NESTING PHASE" anyone... She is having to carry more weight right now because I am sick. So hopefully I will recover soon and all will be back to normal. She is still having the same problems as before but we see Dr. D this week and get an ultrasound and will know more then.

Thank you for your continued support and prayers....

Rob cringes every time I utter the word Ladybug now. He says that he hates it and even if we are having a girl I'm forbidden from using it. lol So I've been struggling to come up with a new nickname for our littlest baby-to-be because I have to call it something (and It or The Baby are NOT options in my book). Today it came to me...Tiny. Because well the baby is tiny and it's unisex so it will assist me in keeping from all of you what we are having! *insert evil laugh here* lol My new layout is also gender neutral. No more jumping between pink and blue depending on my mood. Now it's gender neutral layouts only for this blog...at least until July! lmao

On a completely unrelated side note, I have always wondered how everyone else got their pictures centered and perfectly sized and whatnot...had I just used the picture button up there rather than trying to paste the code into my posts all of my picture posts would have looked as nice as the last two picture posts! lol

I shall be a man. Or maybe a cat.

If I come back as a man, I shall be married with lots children. I shall forget my wife's birthday cake and card (2 years in a row), so for all intents and purposes forgetting her birthday altogether. But I will tell her I had *intentions*. She will still love me.

I will tell her every few months how the children and I take her for granted. I will then say how we should appreciate her more. (This epiphany shall often follow a period when my wife has been sick and/or injured.) After the epiphany has been vocalized, I shall forget it ever happened and nothing will change. She will start to go crazy but still love me.

I shall spend 2 hours on the web researching new cell phone plans simply because I hate my current cell phone (not the cell phone PLAN just the phone itself). Then when my wife expresses an intense interest for something (it doesn't matter what), I shall scoff, roll my eyes and declare her "crazy". She shall be slightly crazier than before but still love me.

When it is MY birthday, I shall demand plans be made *for me* (it is my birthday afterall and I have standards) and gifts be bought. At which point, I shall remind my wife of how I had *intentions* for her last 2 birthdays. She will forgive me (again), make the plans and still *somehow* love me.

I will do all of these things, and more, and when my wife has FINALLY had enough and she screams to the Heavens how absolutely insane I am; I will throw up my hands and call her a "drama queen". Which will push her *completely* over the edge. Other women will pitty me. For I am the single father of all those children. Now without a wife and mother because she has dropped her basket (doctors still aren't sure why or what happened). They will line up to date me and be my new "babies' mamas".

If I am a cat, I will still be a male. I will eat, sleep and poop all day. I will not use a litter box. I will use my owner's shoes. Sometimes I will pee on her leg. She will still love me.

Nah, I think I'll be a man...