Cheerio Confessions

Okay, so I had grand dreams of participating in February's Nablopomo. I had every intention of posting every day. Truly I did. It just wasn't meant to be.

For starters, Dr. T doubled my dose of Lyrica in an attempt to stop the raging fibro flares I was suffering through in their tracks. He was also hoping to prevent any future flares. So far, it seems to be helping, which means it's also knocking me out shortly after 9am, 3pm and 9pm for about 3 hours or so every day. Eventually, this will taper off until then posting is rather difficult because I have real life "Mommy" things to try and get done in those few short hours before my next dose. Blogging, unfortunately, just seems to fall to the side with all of the sleeping and Mommy-scrambling.

Had I known ahead of time that I would be doubling my dose I wouldn't have tried to take on Nablopomo this month. Oh well, lesson learned I suppose. Besides, there's always March, right? (lol)

I've been on my Lyrica for quite a few months now with pretty good results. So I was hopeful. I was hopeful that we had a dose right off the bat that was going to work. I was hopeful that my days of sobbing and crying wishing for death because of a fibro flare were behind me. I was hopeful that maybe when I saw Dr. T later this month he would give me the OK to begin physical therapy, something he won't permit me to do until we have my pain under control for a while with medications. My hopes have been dashed.

For the past few weeks now I've been having a few minor flares here and there. Nothing major by any stretch of the imagination. Certainly nothing I needed extra medications to manage. I just needed to take things a little slower on those days. No big deal. Then there was this past week. I have felt as if I've been run over by a train of teamsters, beaten to a pulp by the best boxers known to mankind, set a flame and left a flame for no other reason than to watch me burn and finally my very badly abused and battered shell is taken and repeatedly crammed into a a very small space (like a coffee mug, or a play dough container, ice cream container etc).

I've been taking my medications but I don't think it's helping at this point. I think the ever colder temperatures and the added stress of Mr. Emmett John's hearing tests and possible hearing loss is just shoving me over the edge; past a point where the Lyrica at my current dose can help me.

Hopefully, Dr. T's office will call me back from the message I left yesterday and let me know what they think and want to try. Because I can't take many more days of collapsing onto the floor in tears and sobs while I ugly cry because I'm in so much pain.

2/28

Today, I survived 24 hours Savella-free; which led to me spending the day feeling like I had been set on fire.

Tonight, I start my Lyrica. I pray that it's a "wonder drug" like Dr. T hopes it will be.

I don't ... understand some people. I don't ... understand how they can believe something so strongly one week and then when that clearly didn't work out well for them they change gears so completely. How does that work?

I don't ... understand how people claim to "know" what I am going to do next. And even though it hasn't happened, they still claim to "know" that it will. How do they know my mind better than I?

I don't ... understand when doing what is best for my family became the wrong thing to do. I knew that it wouldn't be the popular decision. I knew I would be making people unhappy. However, it was the same decision across the board for all. Yet, I was only judged by one. I don't ... understand.

I don't ... understand the new policy for "Health Care 'reform'". It just reads like a foreign language to me. Almost as if Obama doesn't want the American public to understand it.

I don't ... understand how Obama-Mamas trust most of what comes out of Obama's mouth. I'm aware this makes me unpopular in alot of crowds but it's how I feel.

I don't ... understand why all of my articles that I write lately keep coming out like high school term papers - overly-serious, pretensious crap.

I don't ... understand why the FDA keeps approving medications for fibromyalgia when they really doesn't work very well.

I don't ... understand why I'm so drawn to these "Lockdown", "Lockup" jail shows on National Geographic and MSNBC channels on television. Something about them simply fascinates me. I don't ... understand why.

I've got pretty awesome news but I don't want to share it yet because it's not quite final.

Emmett John is having his surgery to have his tubes placed on Thursday, Sept 10th.

I have to schedule to have an EMG on my lower body to try and determine why I'm having bi-lateral leg pain and numbness. Insurance wouldn't pay for the MRI but they'll pay for the torture. Jerks. Bright side, I can take 2 Xanax before the EMG, which will help since I'm beyond phobic when it comes to needles.

Gavin's first day of school is tomorrow. So we opted to stay home and lay low today. Nice and calm day.

I'm trying to get my new organizer all set up and filled in, which is taking much longer than it should because Mr. Emmett John keeps trying to help me. lol I figure once I get that done...His surgery (15 minutes) and recovery (about 12-24 hours at home) done...And my test done...I'll be back to my blogging self. Or maybe before that, who knows. ;) lol

Please pray that his surgery goes off without a hitch.

Okay, so admitedly my Friday Fill In is a day late and a dollar short but it's better late than never, right? ;) Besides, I've been busy.

1. He was a vision of everything I'd ever wanted in man but there way no way he was the one for me.

2. September 3rd although the first day of school is a very close second is what I look forward to most this time of year.

3. My best friend in love and a forever kind of way is Rob; in a sisterly way is Trisha; in the "dog is man's best friend" way is Maggie Sue.

4. It's truly always best to be honest with (you) me because I'm one of those people where whatever my imagination comes up with really and truly will be much, much worse than the truth.

5. Appearances can be deceiving but I'm still one of those people who usually finds myself stuck to my first impressions.

6. The last person I gave a hug to was Rob and Emmett John (group hug).

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to wroking on the OME Twilight Sorority Message Boards, tomorrow my plans include hiding inside from the weather and trying to survive the flare it brings with it while blog surfing and working/surfing on the OME boards; hopefully taking Elliott Richard to the NICU Reunion and Sunday, I want to sleep in, take a nap, not have a flare, maybe wash some laundry, surf the web...SSDD!

If the Friday Fill In looks like something that you would like to participate in, just hop on over to Janet's Blog: Friday Fill Ins and get started! :)

Have a great weekend!

Come one! Come all!

It's that time again!

I Don't Wednesday!

It's not the things you do.

It's the things you Don't Do.

Now's the time to share. :)

I Don't... rely on technology as much as Rob wishes I would. (I'm not a technophob, obviously since I'm blogging but I prefer the tried-and-true pen and paper methods to technology.)

I Don't... have beautiful penmenship and that drives me crazy.

I Don't... have many friends who aren't my family.

I Don't... know what to expect from my pain management appointment this morning.

I Don't... know if I should watch the show on the Octomom on Channel 8 tonight.

Welp, those are my I Don't Wednesdays for the week. If you would like to join in the fun, hop on over to Jenna's Journey to grab the code for the button and play along. :)

Everyday in the Cheerio household brings about a new sort of "normal". I use that term loosely of course. Our lives are in a constant state of flux. Mostly because of Gavin, not that I'm saying everything is his fault because it isn't. It's just that a majority of the time our lives revolve around Gavin and his needs. Some days the flux is caused because of me and my needs. However, mostly, our lives revolve around Gavin. His moods. His needs. His whims. His fits of anger. His fits, period. His appointments. Him, in general.

I feel like as soon as we get one thing under control here. One thing stablized. Everything else hits a huge wave and smashes into a million pieces. Then we are left clinging to that one thing we managed to stablize while we scramble to gather the other million pieces and try to put them back together. Only it feels as if we are trying to put them back together, in the dark, without glue, without directions and honestly, without any real idea of what they were in the first place. All the while that one stablized thing, whatever it was, is slipping away so slowly that we don't notice until it's gone.

Since I finished the Twilight Series I have been blog surfing something fierce, which is not a good thing. Except for the fact that my fibromyalgia is so bad at the moment that I'm basically on bed rest again so I have plenty of time to read blogs. But I digress. (You're shocked, I know. lol) As I've been blog surfing today I found what is apparently a rather popular blog entitled, Jenna's Journey Blog. Every Wednesday, as her infant son Brayden allows, she does a meme that she calls "I Don't Wednesday". It's kind of like MckMama's "Not Me Monday" only you list the things that you don't do rather than the things you did but wish you hadn't. Since I'm in such a blogging mood lately but I'm struggling with the blogs I really want to write, I figured, "Hey, it's Wednesday. It's my blog. So, why not." :)

And away we go! :)

I don't... fold, sort and put my laundry away as soon as I take it out of the dryer. (Rob wishes I would though. lol)

I don't... wear dresses or skirts. (Again, Rob wishes I would though.)

I don't... drink milk. (Ick.)

I don't... tolerate ignorance well. (Or much at all, if we're being completely honest about it.)

I don't... want to hear anymore about Obama, his "health plan", the people it will "help" (never mind those it's screwing), his popularity rating, his Presidency thus far or any combination thereof. (I'm Obama'ed OUT! Seriously. No more! UNCLE!)

I have been working on a blog for the last week or so. It is sort of out-dated now, however, I will still post it because I still want to remember the info later. There are many things I want to share but my fibromyalgia has been flaring up. So in an effort to lose myself and escape the pain, I've been lost in the Stephenie Meyer Twilight Series. I must admit that while I am a die hard Potterite, I was never so engrossed in that series as I find myself engrossed in this one. It has been heavenly to have some place to...escape to and "get away" from the pain for a little while. Now I have finished the four books in that she has released in the series so far (There is some speculations and drama surrounding the fifth book, Midnight Sun, which you can read more about on her website.) and I feel lost. The bad news is that I feel like I don't have a getaway from my pain any longer. The good news is that I can finish the post I started a week or so ago and post about the other things that have been bouncing around in my head. I can also post a ton of pictures and videos I've pulled off my cell phone, including but not limited to Mr. Emmett John's First Birthday! :)

And so, I apologize, yet again, for my absence. I was lost in the land of Forks, WA and Bella, Edward, Jacob, Alice and the rest of the Cullens et al. But I am back now....until I find another book to grab my interest and distract my mind. ;)

(You're supposed to sing the title to the tune of "The 12 Days of Christmas".)

3 Sick Boys

Yes, you read that correctly all three of my boys are sick, again. Isn't that always how it seems to go in the Cheerio household though? I'm not sure if it's better this way or not. I guess it is. I know it would definitely be much easier without the #1 down there. But I digress.

Elliott Richard

Elliott Richard was first. For all the "gory details" see this post here. He will finish up his antibiotics tomorrow. Yippee! Because even though he's on the "bubble gum" meds that most kids love he's 3 and a terrorist and therefore he enjoys being difficult.

Things were just starting to return to "normal" (not a term that usually applies to our household). Meaning that Elliott Richard was sleeping in his bed rather than on the couch in the living room with Daddy. He was sleeping through the night again. Wasn't super whiney or clingy. He was himself again. He seems to be doing much better. Although he's developing a cough, but I'll get to that in a moment.

So things were starting to look up...and then...

Emmett John

Emmett John, never one to be out-done in anything, was next. Friday afternoon he spiked a fever. By Friday night, his fever was 102.8. By Saturday morning it was 103.2 so off to see Dr. Beth we went. No ear infection or strep. It was just a virus. She said to let it run it's coarse and by Monday the fever should be gone. If Monday morning the fever was still there or his cold symptom had returned, I was to bring him back in.

So we suffered the weekend. No one slept. Emmett John screamed a lot. I considered clawing my eyes out and super-gluing my ears shut. But decided against it in the end. We all survived (I use that term loosely).

Monday morning, always the over-achiever, Emmett John still had his fever and his cold symptoms had returned with avengance so off we went to see Dr. M. But really, let's be honest here, what's a week in the Cheerio household without a visit (or two or three - keep reading) to the pediatricians' office? He checked out our young bebe and thought for sure he had strep throat so he did the swabs - rapid and 48hr. Both ended up coming back negative.

So now he's just a super-clingy grump. He doesn't really want to eat. But he downs water and juice like they are going out of style. He's exhausted but won't sleep. Wants to snuggle but doesn't want held. My fellow mommies out there know this drill well. *sigh*

Gavin

Then of course, Gavin had to jump on the bandwagon. Although truthfully, it's not like he had much of a choice, with two sick little brothers the odds were stacked against him in a major way. So a week or so ago Gavin developed a cough. As the week went on the cough got worse. The problem that Patty brought to our attention at our appointment on Tuesday was timing. The cough started about the same time that Dr. R increased Gavin's dose of Zyprexa. Patty was worried that the Zyprexa was possibly that Gavin is over-medicated and it's causing decreased respiratory function. Of course, I mean what else would you expect from a Cheerio Child?!

So I called and made an appointment with Dr. M. The appointment was actually going to work three ways. Here's what they are and why:

a.) If Gavin is over-medicated, the dose will be changed.

b.) If Gavin is sick, hopefully it's something that will be fixed with anti-biotics.

c.) Everytime Gavin gets a tickle in his throat he proclaims that he has asthma, which he does not.

So I was hoping to find answers to all three of those when we met with Dr. M. Although truth be told, Dr. H has already told Gavin on numerous occasions that he does not have asthma. Heck, even his original pediatrician Dr. Mike told him he didn't have asthma. But he's still convinced that he does.

So we went. We saw. We talked. Some of us more than others. Dr. M asked Gavin a bunch of questions to rule out asthma, which he was able to do, again. Then as Dr. M and I were talking about the cough - when it came on, the meds he's taking etc - Gavin kept jumping in with random Aspie statements. "I like pancakes." Things that given the given the context of the conversation really didn't make much sense. Gotta love those Aspies. :)

Dr. M checked him out and let us know that:

a.) He is not over-medicated. Huge relief there.

b.) He is sick.

c.) He also does not have asthma, although I don't know that this will put an end to the debate.

Apparently, Gavin has some funky form of bronchitis. The normal anti-biotics won't work on it because of the cell walls or something. And the anti-biotic they would normally prescribe is Zythromax or something in that family but Gavin is allergic to those. Even if he weren't he can't take them because they increase the levels of the Zyprexa in his blood stream. So he's on an anti-biotic I've never heard of before, which after three boys (especially Emmett John) I didn't think that was possible. lol And I have to take him back on Monday so that Dr. M can listen to his lungs and make sure that he's improving etc.

Back to Emmett John

Now we get to go back to the pediatrician today. In the last 24hrs Emmett John has developed a rash that started on his back so I thought it was heat rash. Then it began to creep. It creeped to his sides, stomach and now it's creeping down both arms and legs. So I called and talked to Paula, one of the lovely nurses, and she talked to Dr. M. He said that he felt Emmett John should be seen because of Gavin and Elliott Richard both being sick. So at 4:15pm we will be back at the pediatrician's office. This time we get to see Dr. H though. Yippee! So we'll see what that brings us. Oy vay.

2 Ped Appointments

Yeah, it was 2 ped appts if you only counted Emmett John with Dr. M on Monday and Gavin with Dr. M yesterday. However, if you count Emmett John with Dr. Beth on Saturday and now Emmett John today. The grand total is now 4 ped appts but that doesn't work with my title at all. ;) lol

1 Fibromyalgia Flare

Yeah, that would be me. Of course, who else would it be. I love living in Ohio. Really, I do. Lately though, this weather, it's killing me. The ups and the downs - the weather is just crazy and it's downright killing me. I've been flaring off and on for nearly 2 weeks now. But that's another post entirely, believe me.

A Baby on the Way

Okay, so he's not so much "on the way" anymore because I started this post 5 days ago and let's face it, that's kind of a long time for active labor! (Ouch!) On Thursday, August 6th my cousin Sam went into labor with her second child, first boy. If you would like to see his stats and a picture of him head on over to her blog. Try and prepare yourself though ~ seriously.

Welcome to the World and to the Family, Mr. Evander Benjamin!

Today...

I got a referral to Pain Management from my PCP. Yay!

Please God let this flare end.

I am having one of those days. Mothers of small children everywhere just shuttered...collectively. Did you feel it?

They all shuttered because they feel my pain. What pain you ask? Allow me to lay it out for you:

The pain of a 10m old who has a diaper rash that, at this point, I'm pretty sure came from Hell. Dr. H said on Monday that he was "almost certain it's a strep diaper rash, which is incrediblly painful". It isn't. It also is taking forever to respond to both the prescription strength diaper cream and pinxav (pronounced Pink Salve).

This pain is very different from the pain of cutting both top...what are those...eye teeth (?) next to the top front teeth?! Yeah, whatever those are, he's cutting both top ones at the same time. When he teethes, he grates his teeth while he nurses. I'm bleeding. Enough said on this matter.

You add to those pains the pain of Gavin being home from school all day today because of a Teacher-in-Service-Day. I declare Shenanigans! There are a mere 9 days left of school...again I say, Enough said and Shenanigans!

Then there's the pain of Elliott Richard, who is 3 years old. If this needs further explanation please see this post.

Aside from all of those I'm just in pain in general. S.S.D.D. (Same Stuff Different Day) I've got a raging migraine (I know you're shocked). And my back is killing me right over my left kidney, whether or not it actually is my kidney remains to be seen. If I don't move (yeah, right) and drink my body weight in water, the pain isn't too bad.

Are we having fun yet? ;) lol

Let's make this short and sweet. Rob's baby sister Jenn moved in across the street tonight. Granted living with Fibro tends to limit my helpfulness when it comes to moving. I can't lift much. Can't really carry much either. Climbing stairs repeatedly, nope. So I hung the shower curtain and put her towels away. Hung out a bit. Even though I didn't do much, I am so beyond exhausted.

I had planned, well, more like hoped that I was going to write a post about how we had planned for things to go. Then how things had really gone. How I don't miss moving. I don't miss packing or sorting or unpacking. I don't miss having to feed those who are kind enough to help you move. Likewise, I don't like having to prented to know where I want everything or even that I have any of the answers because most likely, I don't. And as much as I wouldn't mind being 18 years old again, especially if I could be 18 knowing what I know now, I don't think I want to go through all that again.

Bright side: Jenn is all moved in.

Dark side: I'm in gobs of pain. And so overwhelmed and exhausted that I'm twitching.

I hate winter. Don't get me wrong, it's beautiful and is home to some of my favorite holidays. However, it's also incredibly cold, which is not a good climate for those of us with fibromyalgia. Plus as beautiful as the snow and icicles are, they are Hell on the roads. Especially when there is currently a salt shortage which leads our "fearless leader" Governor Strickland to issue a statement saying that Ohioians simply need to learn to drive in the snow. {Jerk.} For his information, most of us know how to drive in the snow because we've lived here our entire lives. It's merely a matter of a little thing called "Public Safety" that we prefer to have the roads plowed and salted down. Silly Ohioians, wanting safe roads. {Pfth.} Looks like those of us without 4x4 vehicles are S.O.L. (Sorry Out of Luck) {That includes us, by the way.}

Anywho, back to the temperature and it's reeking havoc on my body. I am hurting. Big time. I slept horribly last night for two reasons. First, I was having some seriously bizarre dreams. The kind of dreams where you wake up, say "what the..." and then go back to sleep only to pick-up right where you left off. {I hate that.} Second, I kept waking up in excruciating pain. It was next to impossible to find a comfortable position and believe me when I say I tried. Lucky for me, I have about the best husband in the world. When Elliott Richard woke up at 4:00am but Emmett John didn't, Rob got up with Elliott Richard and left us to sleep in! {Woo who!} Granted, I'm not sure that 7:30am classifies as "sleeping in" but I'll take what I can get at this point. {lol} I had hoped the extra sleep would help to ease the pain. Unfortunately, it didn't. I still woke up in excruciating pain and with a migraine to top it off. Even after taking two extra strength Tylenol and a 3 hour nap with Elliott Richard and Emmett John; I still feel as if someone beat me with a baseball bat while I slept. Needless to say, I'm a tad grumpy today.

Today is my little sister, Jenn's 18th birthday. {Okay, technically she's Rob's little sister and my little sister-in-law. We choose not to use the in-law part though.} We are heading over to Mom and Dad G's for a birthday dinner to celebrate. First, we have to go shopping though. While I can't partake in the dinner {We are bringing Emmett John approved food from Burger King for me. Yum.} I'm still really looking forward to hanging out with the whole family. I just love these family dinners. {Although between you and me blogosphere, I wish people weren't freaked out by my nursing Emmett John. But that's another post, for another time.}

Well, we're off to party. Emmett John has been fed. And I hear a family debate brewing. :) I'll be back later with updates on the family.

{Ever notice how when you start a blog, get a rhythm going and then have to stop you can't quite get that groove back later? I hate that.}

This was my Sunday:

• Woke up with a migraine and a fibro flare? Check.
• Twins still sick and dribbling poop everywhere? Check.
• Tried to nap but in too much pain to lay down? Check.
• More cat poop? Check.
• Massive Emmett John diaper blow out, which equals still more poop? Check.
• Doubled the laundry to be washed thanks to dribbles and blow outs? Check.
• Broke the light switch in the ceiling fan in our bedroom? Check.
• Cut power to the whole house when I was supposed to only cut it to the bedroom? Check.
• Then spent an hour and a half in the living room with lit candles and all three boys while Rob inspected the damage, went to the store, picked up dinner and fixed the switch? Check.
• Fell asleep begging God for a single night of sleep without waking up every hour? Check.

PS. I got the sleep. :)

Okay, Emmett John is fussy so this is going to be the fastest update I can manage. (Yeah, right. lol) Please forgive me if this seems jumbled and disconnected, Emmett John and Elliott Richard aren't big on sleep at the moment.

I'm sorry I haven't posted in nearly forever. I simply haven't been in the mood, which stinks because I was hoping to partake in NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month) but I can only do so much. I do apologize though if my being MIA has made any of you worry.

Gavin

About a month ago Gavin was started on a new bi-polar medication, 150mg Trileptal BID. Everything was fine. It seemed to be working. His moods were gradually evening out. Then the bottom fell out. His moods took a nose dive. He began rapid cycling again. So we called Dr. R and he decided to double Gavin's dose to 300mg BID, which he had planned to do anyway. So two weeks ago, we double the Trileptal. We give Gavin his meds and proceed with getting ready for Gavin and Elliott Richard's flu shot appointments. On our way to Dr. H's office for flu shots, Gavin broke out in a serious rash. Dr. H wasn't in the office but one of the other peds saw him and confirmed that it was a reaction to the Trileptal. She said that there wasn't anything we could do for the itching (apparently Benedryl doesn't work on drug reaction rashes), so that was fun. We were told to keep an eye on his breathing etc but told he should be fine. (Ever try explaining to an Autistic 8 year old that he can't scratch and you can't help the itch? Yeah, I don't recommend it.) Since the ped wasn't worried, we sent Gavin to my Mom's as planned. At like midnight or 1am our phone rings. Gavin now has a fever, the chills etc. His breathing was fine so Mom gave him Tylenol for the fever and we all went back to sleep. He was fine in the morning so it appeared that the worst had passed. Until he got home. The chills, fever etc had returned. He was now running a 104 degree fever! So Rob is calling Dr. R and Dr. H's offices trying to figure out what to do. I'm trying to get Gavin comfortable and giving him Tylenol etc. Dr. R's office decides he has the flu and not a drug reaction at all. Dr. H's office said to keep a very close eye on him, if anything changed or the fever hit 105 we were told to call back ASAP. To give a general idea of how Gavin was feeling, he went to bed at 5pm and slept through the night until 8am the next day!!!!!! (This is a big deal because I don't think he's slept that much since he was Emmett John's age!) On the bright side, he recovered really quick. On the not-so-bright side, I'm definitely not going to win "Mother of the Year" this year. When Gavin went back to school, I accidentally gave him the 150mg dose of Trileptal. Luckily, he survived and we now know for 100% certain that Dr. H was right (it was a drug reaction) and Dr. R was wrong (it was NOT the flu). So while he broke out in a rash again, he handled it like a champ and it was gone within a day or two. So since this whole drama went down Gavin has been unmedicated for his bi-polar, which at the very least is making things interesting. Rob and I see Dr. R today to figure out what the next step is.

Other than that whole mess, things with Gavin have been fairly....typical for Gavin. He's rapid cycling. We're struggling to keep up with him. The whole situation is just exhausting. Of course that could have something to do with the fact that he hasn't adjusted to the time change at all. He puts himself to bed at 6pm every night and asks for him meals an hour early. We've tried to explain it to him but he doesn't get it. Poor thing. Hopefully he'll adjust soon.

On a positive note, a few days after the adoption was finalized (we should have the paperwork any day now - woo who!) the school had an Awards Assembly for the students. Gavin received awards for Perfect Attendance (which was blown for this grading period with the drug reaction), an award for meeting his reading goals with his Title 1 tutor, and another one I can't remember. (Hey, I already told you I wasn't winning Mother of the Year.) The school even went and changed his name on all of his awards so that they read Gavin G. :)

Elliott Richard

Well, unofficially potty training has begun. We've started buying Elliott Richard Lightning McQueen Pull-Ups. It took a little bit of convincing to get him to wear them but now he's in love. He's now changing his own diapers, well, he's taking his wet (and dirty - unfortunately) diapers off and then running around the house buck naked screaming "New biper!" He also tells us (sometimes before and sometimes after the diaper removal) that he's peed or pooped. He will sit on the potty, sometimes for nearly an hour. Then he gets up, puts on a Pull-Up and pees. Oy. So progress is slow and basically non-existent at some points but we are getting there.

During Gavin's whole Trileptal reaction, Elliott Richard received his flu shot. I expected a lot of tears and screaming. Daddy said that he was fine with the shot. (I was meeting with the ped about Gavin.) It was having his legs held down that ticked him off. Once they let him go, he was fine. lol I swear he never ceases to amaze me.

Other than that stuff, there's really not much to report in the land of Elliott Richard. He's still completely obsessed with Emmett John and helping me as much as possible. Which usually means that whatever I'm doing is taking twice as long as it would normally but whatever. He's growing like a weed. Eating us out of house and home or not eating at all. (I just love the terrible two's!) And as his hair grows back from his first hair cut, I'm thrilled to say that it is still wavy/curly! :)

Emmett John

I think I probably have the most to update on when it comes to Mr. Emmett John.

I'm thrilled to report that Emmett John is now the new and improved wireless version. We saw Dr. K and our nurse Vick at the Apnea Clinic last month (yes, I'm really that behind). The only concern they had was one Apneic episode that wasn't a full-fledged episode. His breathing slowed way down and then seconds after his breathing picked up again his heart rate dropped. Since they didn't happen simultaneously, it doesn't count as a true Apneic Episode and he was cleared for release. :)

Since then, he's gained a few pounds and grew a few inches. He now weighs 17lb 3oz and is 26.75 inches long!!!! That's the 80th and 90th percentiles respectively!! Craziness I tell ya.

He's been babbling and laughing (whenever he isn't screaming in pain from the reflux) for a while now but he's recently added the squealing to his list of tricks. He seems to have a very select sense of humor though. Only certain silly noises, scaring/startling him and whatever it is Daddy does seems to amuse him. Although there are times now when he will laugh when he hears someone else laugh, which is super cute! He gets super excited when he sees Mommy, Daddy or Elliott Richard. (Gavin hasn't shown much interest in him so Emmett John doesn't see him hardly ever.) He's rolled over but didn't seem terribly impressed with the accomplishment and hasn't done it in a while. He can't decide between his thumb, his Nuk binkie (he'll take other binkies but strongly prefers the Nuks), and this little blanket I actually bought for Gavin like 7 years ago. He had his first bowl of cereal on Wednesday. In keeping with his tradition of being polar opposite of everything I know from raising Gavin and Elliott Richard, Emmett loves his cereal. I couldn't shovel it in fast enough. lol He holds on to toys that we hand him for a moment or two but gets the biggest kick out of reaching/batting at his hanging toys on his bouncy seat. Speaking of which, he loves that bouncy seat. He'd sit there and kick (making it bounce) all day long if it weren't for little annoyances like hunger and diaper changes. lol

We are keeping a close eye on his reflux because he is on 15mg of Prevacid once a day and he developed a hoarse voice about two weeks ago that isn't really going away. It hasn't gotten any worse, which is something I suppose, but it's not really improving either. We saw Dr. H yesterday for his 4 month checkup and 3 of the 5 vaccines he was due for. Dr. H said to give it until the middle/end of next week, if it hasn't gone away by then I'm supposed to call back and he'll send Emmett to a ENT to have his vocal cords checked out. Other than the hoarseness, Mr. Emmett John is practically perfect in every way. And quite possibly the cutest 4.5 month old in the house. ;)

The Adoption & Legal Issues

Not a whole lot to report on this front. The paperwork for the adoption has been filed. We are just waiting on the judge to sign and date them and get them back to my attorney. At that point I can drive around town and change Gavin's last name with everyone. The school is almost as excited about this as we are. ;)

As for the fact that Gavin will never see them again, well Rob is currently out having "Guy Time" with Gavin to discuss that very fact. Per the suggestion of Dr. R. So I will be sure to update you on how that went when I know more.

There is still the small matter of the contempt motion that Pam filed against me. I filed an objection on September 4th and we just learned that the courts are requesting transcripts from the court date on July 31st. (You know, the court date I didn't attend because I felt it wasn't in Emmett John's best interest?) John, my attorney, emailed Pam's attorney handling the matter and informed him of the adoption and the circumstances surrounding the adoption and the only response he's received so far was "I'll have to get back to you." This lead me to believe that Pam and/or Nick hadn't informed him that Nick no longer has any rights to Gavin. That was probably an interesting conversation. The way John has explained it to me, Pam can drop the whole case but since I didn't do what I was court ordered to do the magistrate can still try and force the jail time issue if he really has a bee in his bonnet over me. This remains to be seen, however, I'll be sure to let you know as soon as I do.

Life in General

Life in general is...well, it's life. I'm exhausted. Emmett John gets up at 4am every morning. Elliott Richard usually isn't too far behind - getting up at 5 or 6am. I'm up so I usually just bring Elliott downstairs with me so that Rob can sleep. That way if we have a few empty hours during the day I can grab a nap. I've started seeing my therapist, Nina, again. I love her. She also has a massage therapist, Kim, whom I also love. She does wonders for my fibro, which is currently kicking my butt. So overall, things are...trying to find a new sort of norm.

Okay, I started this at like 8am this morning. It's now 4pm. Emmett John is screaming because he's tired and starving. I have a raging migraine. We are going to lay down. (Woo whoo!) As soon as Daddy mows up the leaves. (Stupid lawn. Stupid trees. Stupid fall.)

I know I've said this a few times but I'm going to say it again, I feel half-dead. I look like Hell. (Maybe if I'm daring, I'll take a picture with my cell phone and post it. Then I came blame my Hell-ishness on the picture quality. lol) I am currently in so much pain that my toes hurt, my teeth hurt and even the hairs on my head hurt! Rob asked me if this could be my fibro coming back rather than me being sick. And while I admit that the fibro is probably a huge factor in all my aches and pains, I don't think the rest of it is the fibro. I'm researching fibro diets to see what they recommend diet wise but honestly, of the two Emmett John's dairy and soy free diet is more important in my book. You never know though, maybe the two diets are similar and it just takes time to balance it out.