Cheerio Confessions

Well, Christmas has officially come and gone. There are now...what, 364 days to Christmas 2010. Or something like that. Thank God! No offense to Jesus or Mary or anything but I'm telling you what...every year the Holidays get more difficult to survive.

I had everything planned out this year. I was going to start preparing just after Halloween so that I wasn't running around like a chicken with my head cut off come Christmas Eve. It didn't work. I didn't get any of the gifts made that I wanted to. I didn't get the kids all figured out etc so I could help them create their gifts for everyone. My Mom was the only one who's gift was completely finished in time to give to her. And I was running around up until 30 seconds before she came in the door to get that wrapped etc.

But it's not just the prep work. Or the decorating, which I can't even manage to find a way to get done anymore. It's all of it. It all seems so complicated. Now don't get me wrong here, I'm not a Scrooge by any means. I just noticed this is all.

Take toys for example. You have the gifts that Gavin and Elliott Richard received, which were taped in and twist-tied in. Am I the only one who thinks this is complete and total overkill? But I digress...their gifts are protected with the strength that I thought only Fort Knox could offer. Then you have Mr. Emmett John's gifts. Most of his gifts were what I affectionately call "Old School" toys. He received the pull behind telephone, the shape block sorter and the little "bed bug bopper". None of those were taped or twist-tied. You opened the box and pulled them out. End of story.

Heck even if you compare video games! When I was a kid, the Nintendo was the "in thing". Everyone either had one, knew someone who did and/or wanted one so badly they could almost taste it. True, by today's standards the graphics are horrid. However, the controls were easy and straight forward. Up was up. Down was down. You get the idea. Nothing was overly complicated. Now there are 3 different major systems with beautiful graphics in their own right. Each specializes in a different type of game genre. And each seems to have their own unique way of making the controls complicated.

Sorry to be all doom and gloom, I'm just over-whelmed from all the running and buying and wrapping and the going and visiting and whatnot. I still think it holds true though - things have gotten far to complicated over the years. At times, I really do feel that it's almost complicated simply for the sake of being complicated. But that's just me. =)

Aside from taped and twist-tied to death new toys (more pictures to come tomorrow), the Cheerios are doing well. We are exhausted and well-fed. We had a blast with family. And now we are all attempting to recover. Except the boys seem perfectly content to stay hyper and completely bouncing-off-the-walls. (lol) Our Christmas was beautiful and everything a Christmas should be. And we hope that you and yours had a very Merry Christmas!

Just a quick Christmas 2009 at Home recap in photos...okay, sadly these are the only photos I took with my cell phone. The rest are on my camera and I haven't had the chance to pull them over yet. Thoes will come tomorrow. =)

Okay, at least as far as the Boys are concerned. I might have a few things for others left to pick up. But the main things are done. Now the gifts that need created by the Boys, yeah, let's not go there shall we? (lol)

Its been a while since I've posted (sorry about that) but I felt like posting an "I Don't - Wednesday" today...and away we go!

I Don't Wednesday #6: KetZchup

I Don't ... Know why I haven't posted in so long.

I've started ketZchup posts but they are all so long and unfinished and the longer it takes me to finish them - the more behind I become. I hate being behind like this. So they are still waiting to be finished.

I Don't ... Know why I don't just start from the here and now.

You know...Say, screw the postS waiting to be finished and move on. To Hell with those damn wanna-be posts!

I Don't ... Know why I just wrote that "I Don't" because I do know.

I Don't ... move on because for starters, I'm suffering from some serious OCD. Secondly, someday I will publish this blog. Someday it will be added to the other journals I have that chronicle my life. And to cut those things out would be to remove large sections of my life.
As it is, I'm already not blogging HUGE, GINORMOUS parts of my life over the past 3 to 6 months because it has been made quite clear to me that if I chronicle those happenings:

A) I would be using MY BLOG against others. You know, because that's why I started it. Revenge. Spite. Viva la Revolution! And all that jazz. *insert eye roll here*
B) I would be hiding behind MY BLOG even though the thoughts, feelings, expressions, etc that are/have been/would be covered (if I were to cover said taboo topics) have already been shared privately (via emails and a very few phone calls) with the parties involved. So I'm not hiding behind anything. But whatever.
C) I would be discussing other people's lives and that isn't right. Nor is it fair.
Now I have not had a single complaint about my blog from people - except for a few loons who felt that I was being unkind to my dead-beat-dad exhusband once upon a time. So I stand corrected - by myself - that I have had a few complaints over that past 2 years or so. That being said, in case it has escaped anyone, I tend to discuss other people's lives on a pretty regular basis - when I can find time to blog that is. I discuss my own and those of my family (ie Rob, husband; Gavin, 9 year old son; Elliott Richard, 3 year old son; Emmett John, 17 month old son; Maggie Sue, nanny-dog; Cleo, cat). I discuss my sister, Trisha, my Mom, Mary. (See Mom, I'm posting again. lol) I discuss quite a few people. Yet no one else is screaming unfair. But don't worry ... I think I have come up with a way to discuss what I want without further pissing anyone else off. Hhhhhhmmmm........I'll have to think about that some more.

Anyway, I digress.

I Don't ... Believe how quickly the month of December is flying by!

I had it all planned out so that the boys could do our usual traditions - make ornaments, make Christmas gifts for Grandma & PaPa and now for Grandma Mary (who they are beyong super excited to include to the traditions this year!) etc. Plus there are Godparents to consider. Then while I get the gifts together for the 3 boys. I'm also putting together a group gift for the boys. Plus a few surprises. I've had it all figured out, planned out and ready to go on paper since mid-October.

I was so sure I had it all figured out. Then I forgot to take my Lyrica for 1 flipping day! Which has thrown me off by like 3 days! So I'm back to not being able to drive again; so unhelpful right now!

I Don't ... Know how to care for Gavin effectively all the time.

Sometimes its a breeze. Sometimes I see the damage others have done to him before the legal system finally got a clue. Before I finally got a clue. Sometimes that damage is more than I can deal with and I know that they knew what they were doing - whether they deny it now or not. Sometimes I wish for the chance to interrogate them about it, with the chance to only get honest answers and then smack them all silly in the end. Sometimes I wish for a winning Lotto ticket, too. None of those things is going to happen.

I Don't ... Know how to raise Gavin his way.

Elliott Richard his way. Emmett John his way. Without making any of them feel singled out. Without damaging any of them.

I Don't ... Know how to survive anymore.

Surviving is usually the only thing I know to do. It comes naturally. After a lifetime of various rings of my own personal hell. Surviving is as natural to me as breathing. Lately, I can't seem to remember how.

Gavin celebrated 1st Gotcha Day Anniversary!

And...here we go!

1. The crickets sing, me to sleep on chilly fall nights.

2. Be true to yourself wherever you are, in whatever you say and whatever you do.

3. I want to get far away from the insanity and drama that seems to find me.

4. Every day of Fall, I wake up in pain; someone please, tell me this was a dream nightmare.

5. But as for me I choose Edward, Twilight and OME.

6. As for me, I come from a place few have been to and no one understands.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to hanging out with Rob and Trisha, tomorrow my plans include sleep and recovery and Sunday, I want to take the boys trick or treating!

I just wanted to spend a few minutes with you and tell the world how I feel about you....

We have been together for 9 long years and been married for 6 short ones. I know that "long years" sounds bad but we have been through one trauma after another, year after year. Most couples wouldn't survive half of what you and I have been through together. There is just something about us that defies logic and statistics. We always joke that no one would have ever put us together because we are like oil and water.

I wanted to take this time to tell you in written words (I know how important written words are to you) how much you mean to me. These are my most treasured memories.... So far.

I remember the first time I met you (you know the first time I'm talking about) and I learned about some of what you had been through.

I remember I felt so sorry for you because no one deserves to be treated like that.

I remember after knowing you for only a brief moment, I felt proud of you because I realized you were NOT a victim.

I remember the first time I saw you at the park.

I remember our first kiss was at dusk standing in your Aunt Paula's porch.

I remember our first movie was Space Cowboy's.

I remember the first time we ate together was at M & H.

I remember the first time I met Gavin was at the park because we wanted to date for a little while before I met him.

I remember Gavin spilling his lemonade all over me that day.

I remember the fear I saw in your eyes as that happened because you thought I would be upset and walk away.

I remember us daring each other to say "I love you" because we were both to scared to be the first one to say it.

I remember parking the car in Rosemary's driveway and talking for hours and hours about nothing just to be together.

I remember you nursing me back to health both physically and emotionally after I destroyed my back on a call and decided to end my career as a Fire/Medic.

I remember your Grandma M taking me ( I was terrified of her at the time) to Burger King and telling me it was my turn to take care of you now.

I remember the worst day of your life and the pain in your eyes when you learned she passed away.

I remember that seeing you in so much pain was the first time my heart had ever truly been broken.

I remember asking you to marry me as we were walking to my car after I picked you up from school that sunny afternoon (if anyone is wondering she said yes).

I remember you being there for me on the worst day of my life, when I Grandma B passed away.

I remember our wedding day in North Cheerioville and dinner at Papa Bears after because we didn't want nor could we afford anything fancy and just wanted to be married.

I remember our honey moon at the cabin and you wearing your hooded jacket (looking like Kenny from South Park) in 90 F weather because you were hiding from the bugs.

I remember cutting it short and spending the next few days in the hospital because we both caught some freak virus.

I remember the day we found out you were pregnant with Elliott Richard and all the water you had to drink because I made you take like 6 tests just to be sure.

I remember the first time I heard his heart beat and yours together at the same time, amazing.

I remember witnessing Elliott Richard's birth and being so full of emotion and truly feeling what love was for the first time.

I remember standing there and looking at you in amazement because you created this perfect, tiny little child.

I remember a few minutes later begging God to take my life and spare our sweet Elliott Richard after he was born premature, both his lungs ruptured and we almost lost him.

I remember that was the longest 14 days of my life.

I remember we both felt so helpless not being able to touch him and seeing him in so much pain every day.

I remember being so afraid to leave to get food or sleep because we didn't want him to be alone if God was going to take him.

I remember that even though you had spent 6 months on bed rest and weeks in labor you were my rock and I was a complete mess.

I remember the first time you held him in the NICU, you looked so beautiful and at peace for the first time in a long while.

I remember learning you were pregnant with Emmett John and how excited we were.

I remember how much you taught me about courage and selflessness during the 8 months of bed rest leading the birth of our youngest miracle.

I remember having to be told over and over again how perfect he was when he was born because we were so scared something was going to happen.

I remember watching you hold Emmet John for the first time while I stood in awe of what you had just accomplished.

I remember the day we went to court and I finally after 8 years got to adopt Gavin.

I remember all the joy and pain that comes along with raising Gavin together.

I remember how fiercely you protected him and always do.

Now there are some things I would like you to remember.

Please remember the first time I saw you I knew you were the one. My soul mate. My penguin...

Please remember that you the strongest most beautiful woman I have ever met and I am truly honored to be your husband.

Please remember that I am completely and hopelessly in love with you.

Please remember that not a day goes by that I don't know how lucky I am to have you in my life.

Please remember that I am eternally grateful for ALL that you do for us even though you don't think it's enough.

Please remember that you are the glue that holds this family together.

Please remember that I will always, always be here for you...

Please remember that I would do ANYTHING to take your pain away.

Please remember that I am so sorry that I can't.

Please remember that I will forever be grateful that you read my email.

Please remember that I am also grateful you didn't listen to your cousin when she warned you about me saying I was a "Mac Daddy". Yes I am talking about you Sam :)


It seems like only yesterday and at the same time it feels like forever ago that we said I do. Does that even make sense? It's like time revolves around us.
Actually, time is meaningless for us because soul mates were created to be together no matter how long it takes to find each other, so time is irrelevant. I believe soul mates are like a circle with no beginning and no end. I know you are my soul mate.

I can't remember or imagine us not being together. That being said..... I have a question I have been meaning to ask you....


Scroll down.......For dramatic effect..




































































Keep scrolling.....































































































Keep scrolling....































Your almost there.....











Ok here goes nothing......























Lizze I have loved you from the first day we met. Every day I find myself looking forward to spending the next day with you. You are the most amazing mother and the best wife I could have ever hoped for. You are truly so much more then I deserve...





Scroll down.......




















(Rob is getting really nervous)


















Keep scrolling....























(Rob takes a deep breath and gets down on one knee)










Elizabeth Ann Cheerio (name has been changed to protect the Cheerio family),

Will you do me the honor of marrying me......... again?

This time I want to take our time and do it right. I want to pick a church we are both comfortable and happy with. I want to be married in front of God and our family including those we have gained since the first time :)

I want us to have a new start. I want this to be when we finally put everything behind us and move forward together as a family. What do you say?


I will anxiously await your answer......


Your Loving Husband,

Rob

Thursday 13 ~ Reasons I Married Rob & Why I Love Him Still

1.) As corny and cheesey as I'm sure this will sound, it felt right. Granted, this was long before Twilight but he was my Edward. Once we met, I was drawn to him. Perhaps that's part of the reason why the Twilight series holds such a strong appeal for me. ;)

2.) The first time Rob and Gavin met, we went to the park. Keep in mind, this was before the "switch was flipped" and things with Gavin changed. Then we went to dinner at one of my favorite local places. While waiting for our food, Gavin dumped his cup of lemonade in Rob's khaki short wearing lap. It looked like Rob had peed himself. I was sure I would never see Rob again. Rob says that's the moment he fell in love with me.

3.) After the "switch was flipped" and things with the divorce became more difficult, I gave Rob the chance to leave. I offered him an "out". No hard feelings. I would understand. He stayed. Most men would have run. True love stays.

4.) He supports me. No matter what. Even when I don't support myself or my own dreams, there's Rob cheering me on.

5.) He finds the things in me endearing that most would try and quash. Like my love of office supplies. Or my obsession with books and the written word. Or the "battle" we have over which is better, technology or the books and the written word. Like the 100's of pens I have around the house. Or the journals and notebooks. My crazy taste in music and movies. Or how I will watch the same movie or read the same series (ahem, Twilight) repeatedly. He loves these things about me.

6.) I knew from his baby pictures that he was going to make some cute babies! ;)

7.) He's never once laughed at my phobias, ever. He holds my hand and strokes my hair when I have to get shots (needles). He takes care of me when MRI's are needed (small places). He's always there. He never laughs, no matter how silly they may seem to him.

8.) He gave up the fire department for us. I never asked him to do that. I never would have. That was his. His before we came along. And his for as long as he wanted it, I never hinted. Never thought. I knew that was his first love when we started dating and I was okay with that. When he quit; I knew how deep his commitment went.

9.) When my Granny died on Saturday, May 11th 2002, he took care of me for a week. He didn't push. He just loved me. If I hadn't had him and Gavin then, I wouldn't have made it through. He was there and that meant the world to me.

10.) When my world shattered that first weekend Gavin spent with them and I laid in his bed and cried. Paralyzed. Totally unable to move for two days. He slept on couch cushions upstairs so I didn't have to move before I was ready. He didn't push me then either. He was there. And I survived that too. With him.

11.) Every terrifying moment of my pregnancies with Elliott Richard and Emmett John, he was there. He gave me my shots; so I wouldn't have to give them to myself. He stood up for me. He cared for me. He slept on chairs when beds weren't available. He held my hand. He brought me food. He cried with me. Even when he had to go home to feed a dog or take a shower; he never left my side because he would call. From the road. As soon as he got home. Before he left.

12.) The worse my fibromyalgia becomes, the more they find wrong, the worse my health gets the more things falls upon Rob. More chores. More kids things. More "Mommy duties". I sleep more. I take more hot baths. I take more meds. I cry more. My life gets more difficult. His life gets more difficult. Still he doesn't leave. Still he loves me. Still he picks up the slack and keeps on chugging. He takes Gavin to his appointments. He takes me to mine. He naps when/if he can. And we all just keep moving forward. As one family. One unit. One marriage with 3 beautiful children.

13.) Look at my beautiful man over there ~~~~~~>

How can you not fall in love with that beautiful soul?!

If you would like to join in on the fun of Thursday 13 follow the links below.

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others’ comments. It’s easy, and fun!

Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Happy 6th Anniversary my Wonderful Husband!

I love you so much! I truly couldn't do it without you!

Okay, so admitedly my Friday Fill In is a day late and a dollar short but it's better late than never, right? ;) Besides, I've been busy.

1. He was a vision of everything I'd ever wanted in man but there way no way he was the one for me.

2. September 3rd although the first day of school is a very close second is what I look forward to most this time of year.

3. My best friend in love and a forever kind of way is Rob; in a sisterly way is Trisha; in the "dog is man's best friend" way is Maggie Sue.

4. It's truly always best to be honest with (you) me because I'm one of those people where whatever my imagination comes up with really and truly will be much, much worse than the truth.

5. Appearances can be deceiving but I'm still one of those people who usually finds myself stuck to my first impressions.

6. The last person I gave a hug to was Rob and Emmett John (group hug).

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to wroking on the OME Twilight Sorority Message Boards, tomorrow my plans include hiding inside from the weather and trying to survive the flare it brings with it while blog surfing and working/surfing on the OME boards; hopefully taking Elliott Richard to the NICU Reunion and Sunday, I want to sleep in, take a nap, not have a flare, maybe wash some laundry, surf the web...SSDD!

If the Friday Fill In looks like something that you would like to participate in, just hop on over to Janet's Blog: Friday Fill Ins and get started! :)

Have a great weekend!

It's my birthday, here comes drama.

I know it sounds dramatic but it's true. There seems to be some sort of "bad luck birthday fairy" that follows me around every year. Every year it finds new and exciting ways to make my birthday a drama filled mess. So far (and I've only been awake for like 45 minutes) things are going okay. So I have hope that maybe this year will be different, although a few things have already taken place that point to the fact that this year will be like every other year.

I wanted to take a moment before my migraine meds kick in to wish all of my readers, all my friends and of course all of my family a very happy Mother's Day! I hope you all have a relaxing day filled with all of your favorite things. *hugs*

And now I'm off to try and get rid of the migraine from Hell, which is incredibly unfair by the way. Ah well, c'est la vie.

The Birthday Boy!

Gavin all grown up and striking his "cool kid" pose.