Cheerio Confessions

Its been a while since I've posted (sorry about that) but I felt like posting an "I Don't - Wednesday" today...and away we go!

I Don't Wednesday #6: KetZchup

I Don't ... Know why I haven't posted in so long.

I've started ketZchup posts but they are all so long and unfinished and the longer it takes me to finish them - the more behind I become. I hate being behind like this. So they are still waiting to be finished.

I Don't ... Know why I don't just start from the here and now.

You know...Say, screw the postS waiting to be finished and move on. To Hell with those damn wanna-be posts!

I Don't ... Know why I just wrote that "I Don't" because I do know.

I Don't ... move on because for starters, I'm suffering from some serious OCD. Secondly, someday I will publish this blog. Someday it will be added to the other journals I have that chronicle my life. And to cut those things out would be to remove large sections of my life.
As it is, I'm already not blogging HUGE, GINORMOUS parts of my life over the past 3 to 6 months because it has been made quite clear to me that if I chronicle those happenings:

A) I would be using MY BLOG against others. You know, because that's why I started it. Revenge. Spite. Viva la Revolution! And all that jazz. *insert eye roll here*
B) I would be hiding behind MY BLOG even though the thoughts, feelings, expressions, etc that are/have been/would be covered (if I were to cover said taboo topics) have already been shared privately (via emails and a very few phone calls) with the parties involved. So I'm not hiding behind anything. But whatever.
C) I would be discussing other people's lives and that isn't right. Nor is it fair.
Now I have not had a single complaint about my blog from people - except for a few loons who felt that I was being unkind to my dead-beat-dad exhusband once upon a time. So I stand corrected - by myself - that I have had a few complaints over that past 2 years or so. That being said, in case it has escaped anyone, I tend to discuss other people's lives on a pretty regular basis - when I can find time to blog that is. I discuss my own and those of my family (ie Rob, husband; Gavin, 9 year old son; Elliott Richard, 3 year old son; Emmett John, 17 month old son; Maggie Sue, nanny-dog; Cleo, cat). I discuss my sister, Trisha, my Mom, Mary. (See Mom, I'm posting again. lol) I discuss quite a few people. Yet no one else is screaming unfair. But don't worry ... I think I have come up with a way to discuss what I want without further pissing anyone else off. Hhhhhhmmmm........I'll have to think about that some more.

Anyway, I digress.

I Don't ... Believe how quickly the month of December is flying by!

I had it all planned out so that the boys could do our usual traditions - make ornaments, make Christmas gifts for Grandma & PaPa and now for Grandma Mary (who they are beyong super excited to include to the traditions this year!) etc. Plus there are Godparents to consider. Then while I get the gifts together for the 3 boys. I'm also putting together a group gift for the boys. Plus a few surprises. I've had it all figured out, planned out and ready to go on paper since mid-October.

I was so sure I had it all figured out. Then I forgot to take my Lyrica for 1 flipping day! Which has thrown me off by like 3 days! So I'm back to not being able to drive again; so unhelpful right now!

I Don't ... Know how to care for Gavin effectively all the time.

Sometimes its a breeze. Sometimes I see the damage others have done to him before the legal system finally got a clue. Before I finally got a clue. Sometimes that damage is more than I can deal with and I know that they knew what they were doing - whether they deny it now or not. Sometimes I wish for the chance to interrogate them about it, with the chance to only get honest answers and then smack them all silly in the end. Sometimes I wish for a winning Lotto ticket, too. None of those things is going to happen.

I Don't ... Know how to raise Gavin his way.

Elliott Richard his way. Emmett John his way. Without making any of them feel singled out. Without damaging any of them.

I Don't ... Know how to survive anymore.

Surviving is usually the only thing I know to do. It comes naturally. After a lifetime of various rings of my own personal hell. Surviving is as natural to me as breathing. Lately, I can't seem to remember how.

I Don't Wednesday #5: Foods I Don't Eat

I don't ... eat liver and onions. I know I tried it once and it didn't taste horrible. It's just the idea more than anything else. Ick.

I don't ... eat peanut butter. A peanut butter and jelly sandwich will cross my lips only very rarely. I do eat Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, especially during the holidays because they always taste better then. But peanut butter is gross. There is just something about it...the smell, the texture. No thanks.

I don't ... eat Burger King. I don't know what it is about their food but I don't like it. It smells good from a distance. The closer I get; the worse it smells. I just won't eat it.

I don't ... eat cookie dough ice cream. Cookie dough alone? Yes. Ice cream of just about any other flavor (within reason)? Yes. That particular flavor? No. It spells complete sugar overload for me. I can't stomach it. I'm getting queazy just thinking about it.

I don't ... eat spaghetti with sauce. When I was pregnant with Elliott Richard, pasta with sauce was one of (if not the big) my food aversions and it just carried over. Now I struggle to be in the house when Rob makes it for dinner for everyone else. It just turns my stomach. I used to be able to eat at least pasta prepared different ways without the red sauce; not anymore. I can't even eat that since my pregnancy with Emmett John.

I don't ... eat chicken noodle soup. Campbell's chicken noodle soup is okay. But honestly, even that is pushing it. Rob loves chicken noodle soup, especially homemade chicken noodle soup. So he makes it quite a bit and when he makes it; he makes a lot of it. But I just can't eat it.

I Don't Wednesday #4: Regrets

I don't ... regret leaving my ex-husband. If I hadn't left, I wouldn't have met Rob. Rob wouldn't have led to his family and I honestly could not have asked/prayed/wished for better in-laws - parents or siblings. They are amazing. Rob also helped me to create two beautiful boys. So really, what more could I ask for there? Oh yeah, Rob is pretty great too. ;) lol

I don't ... regret looking for Mom (aka Mary) starting when I was 16 years old. I don't ... regret finding her when I was 20 years old even though it didn't turn out how I had hoped. I don't ... regret looking for Trisha on MySpace on a whim 3 years ago even though that didn't turn out how I had hoped either. Because it's all turning out how I had hoped in the end, which is how it should be.

I don't ... regret standing up for myself or my family when it was the right thing to do. Even when it wasn't the popular thing to do.

I don't ... regret wearing my heart on my sleeve even though most would say it's "weakness". At least people have always known where I was coming from and where I stood.

I don't ... regret getting married by the mayor of North Cheerioville rather than having a big wedding that we couldn't afford and would have needed loans to pay for. Besides now I get to take the next 3 years to plan my dream wedding and make sure I can make it as cheap as possible. :)

I don't ... regret starting my family before everything else. That was the path I chose for my life and I stand by that decision.

I don't ... understand some people. I don't ... understand how they can believe something so strongly one week and then when that clearly didn't work out well for them they change gears so completely. How does that work?

I don't ... understand how people claim to "know" what I am going to do next. And even though it hasn't happened, they still claim to "know" that it will. How do they know my mind better than I?

I don't ... understand when doing what is best for my family became the wrong thing to do. I knew that it wouldn't be the popular decision. I knew I would be making people unhappy. However, it was the same decision across the board for all. Yet, I was only judged by one. I don't ... understand.

I don't ... understand the new policy for "Health Care 'reform'". It just reads like a foreign language to me. Almost as if Obama doesn't want the American public to understand it.

I don't ... understand how Obama-Mamas trust most of what comes out of Obama's mouth. I'm aware this makes me unpopular in alot of crowds but it's how I feel.

I don't ... understand why all of my articles that I write lately keep coming out like high school term papers - overly-serious, pretensious crap.

I don't ... understand why the FDA keeps approving medications for fibromyalgia when they really doesn't work very well.

I don't ... understand why I'm so drawn to these "Lockdown", "Lockup" jail shows on National Geographic and MSNBC channels on television. Something about them simply fascinates me. I don't ... understand why.

Come one! Come all!

It's that time again!

I Don't Wednesday!

It's not the things you do.

It's the things you Don't Do.

Now's the time to share. :)

I Don't... rely on technology as much as Rob wishes I would. (I'm not a technophob, obviously since I'm blogging but I prefer the tried-and-true pen and paper methods to technology.)

I Don't... have beautiful penmenship and that drives me crazy.

I Don't... have many friends who aren't my family.

I Don't... know what to expect from my pain management appointment this morning.

I Don't... know if I should watch the show on the Octomom on Channel 8 tonight.

Welp, those are my I Don't Wednesdays for the week. If you would like to join in the fun, hop on over to Jenna's Journey to grab the code for the button and play along. :)

Since I finished the Twilight Series I have been blog surfing something fierce, which is not a good thing. Except for the fact that my fibromyalgia is so bad at the moment that I'm basically on bed rest again so I have plenty of time to read blogs. But I digress. (You're shocked, I know. lol) As I've been blog surfing today I found what is apparently a rather popular blog entitled, Jenna's Journey Blog. Every Wednesday, as her infant son Brayden allows, she does a meme that she calls "I Don't Wednesday". It's kind of like MckMama's "Not Me Monday" only you list the things that you don't do rather than the things you did but wish you hadn't. Since I'm in such a blogging mood lately but I'm struggling with the blogs I really want to write, I figured, "Hey, it's Wednesday. It's my blog. So, why not." :)

And away we go! :)

I don't... fold, sort and put my laundry away as soon as I take it out of the dryer. (Rob wishes I would though. lol)

I don't... wear dresses or skirts. (Again, Rob wishes I would though.)

I don't... drink milk. (Ick.)

I don't... tolerate ignorance well. (Or much at all, if we're being completely honest about it.)

I don't... want to hear anymore about Obama, his "health plan", the people it will "help" (never mind those it's screwing), his popularity rating, his Presidency thus far or any combination thereof. (I'm Obama'ed OUT! Seriously. No more! UNCLE!)