Cheerio Confessions

1.) Change 70 + diapers

2.) Meet Gavin's teachers (at least once)

3.) Meet with Gavin's School Director (at least once)

4.) Grocery shop

5.) Shop at the Farmers' Market

6.) Household chores (laundry, dishes, pickup toys etc)

7.) Brainstorm article ideas & work on articles

8.) Bathe the babies & Make sure Gavin gets his shower

9.) Cruise the OME boards and post welcome notes, birthday wishes and general notes

10.) See Mollie, my therapist, to work my way through 29 years of trauma/crap/more trauma

11.) Hang out with Trisha, the Sista & and make any needed adjustments to her blog (soon I might get to set up and work on the Mama's blog too Yippee!)

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1.) I'm hoping for a day in the future ... when my daily and/or weekly dose of drama will be limited to "Mom, he won't share that toy!" or one of my neighbors getting drunk and running her mouth.

2.) I'm hoping for a day in the future ... when Emmett John will not be a medical mystery. He will not have any specialists and will only need to see Dr. H for well baby visits and the occasional sick visits.

3.) I'm hoping for a day in the future ... when I can write what I want, when I want on my blog and not worry about who is reading it.

4.) I'm hoping for a day in the future ... when I can pay my balance off to John (my attorney) and not have someone (who shall remain nameless - we all know who though) file something else. At which point, my balance will return again because John has to prepare to fight, again. It gets old.

5.) I'm hoping for a day in the future ... when Elliott Richard will decided that he no longer "likes to be pee-pee soaped" and he wants to use the potty. Then we will only have Mr. Emmett John to put in diapers. And we will also be able to put Elliott Richard into pre-school, which I know he would love.

6.) I'm hoping for a day in the future ... when Dr. T is able to find a medication or combination of medications that works to not only keep the pain from getting worse but also lessen it to some extent. That would be amazing.

7.) I'm hoping for a day in the future ... when the boys could spend the night away from home - some with their Aunt Trisha and Uncle John and some with their Grandma and Pa-Pa G - so that Rob and I can get away from home for a weekend. We haven't been away from home (hospital/NICU stays so do not count) since our first wedding anniversary, which was Thursday September 3, 2004 if your curious.

8.) I'm hoping for a day in the future ... when I am secure enough in myself as an artist and a woman that I can sit and loose myself in my art and not be weighed down by thoughts of "It's not good enough" or "It's not perfect" or "Crap! It's all crap"...you get the general idea. I want to just get lost in my art and not care what anyone thinks; including myself.

9.) I'm hoping for a day in the future ... when I don't need a therapist anymore. A day when I've put all the horrific pieces of the puzzle that is my life back together. The pieces I've carried with me for the past 20+ years. The pieces I've fought to hide out of shame for things I didn't do. The pieces I only see in nightmarish flashbacks when I sleep. Someday I'll have them all put together and I won't be haunted anymore.

10.) I'm hoping for a day in the future ... when Rob and I have managed to survive the Terrorist 3's. I'm also hoping for that same day in the future ... when all three boys have also managed to survive the Terrorist 3's. (Whoever dubbed them the "Terrible 3's" was clearly either on crack, had never raised a child of their own or had been blessed with one of those rare children that didn't become a Terrorist between the ages of 2 and 1/2 and oh say 9 - since Gavin is still a Terrorist at times and I don't know when it will wear off.)

11.) I'm hoping for a day in the future ... when we are able to set up a routine and get into a groove and the slightest little thing doesn't throw everything out of whack.

12.) I'm hoping for a day in the future ... when my boys will grow up to be men. They will be happy and healthy doing whatever it is that they chose in life. I don't care their preference in partner or job. I don't care where they live, although I'd like it to be somewhat close to where ever we are. I just want them happy and healthy - in all ways. (Since obviously #10 needs tohappen first in order for this one to take place. lol)

13.) I'm hoping for a day in the future ... when I'm spending far less time dreaming of the future and planning for it and a whole lot more time actually living in it.

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***Edited to say*** Okay, so I meant to finish this before it auto-posted at 8:00 pm on Thursday. Obviously, that didn't happen. lol Sorry about that. So now it is 9-ish am on Saturday - just a few days late - and I'm finishing it because the idea of a partially finished post on my blog is driving me crazy. lol

Jessica loves me! She really loves me!

Okay, maybe that's a slight exggeration but she did give me the Honest Scrap award for my blog. :) Something I'm super excited about by the way. :)

Jessica is from Mental Vomit, a blog which I simply adore! She and I have quite a bit in common but I won't go into the how's and why's, just trust that we do. Anywho, she has bestowed this wonderful award upon me and now I must abide by the rules of the award...and away we go!

*Say thank you and give a link to the presenter of the award {Check}

*Share “10 Honest Things” about myself

*Present the award to 10 other bloggers whose blogs I find brilliant in content and/or design or to those who have encouraged me

*Be sure to tell the 10 bloggers chosen that you are giving them the Honest Scrap award and provide the guidelines for them

Share "10 Honest Things" about myself, hhhhmmmm. I was planning to use something similar to this for my Thursday 13 this week. Oh well, let's see what I can come up with.

1.) I have been secretly coveting this award for as long as I've had a blog. I try to be very honest on my blog, without hurting others whenever possible. So I was seriously thrilled when Jessica gave it to me. (Yeah,I'm a dork, I know.)

2.) I have gotten so used to having migraines that it takes me an average of two weeks to figure out that I have a sinus infection and not just a particularly nasty migraine headache. Like now. Oy.

3.) I have been in therapy off and on for the past 15 years (since I was 14 years old) and I'm only just now finding out some of the serious reasons I should have started in the first place.

4.) When I was 9 or 10 years old, I wanted to have 6 kids. I wanted them all to be girls. I had all of their names picked out - most of which I had stolen from my favorite television shows at the time. (So think of all the popular tween shows from like 1989 and 1990 and you've got a pretty good idea of the names I had picked out.) Oh yeah, and I wanted sextuplets because I figured having them all at once had to be easier than one at a time to me. (Like I said, I was 9 or 10 years old. I knew nothing! lol)

5.) During my childhood, tween years, and teen years I was abused and misused by various different male individuals (and one female). None of them were ever held responsible - for various different reasons, all which were out of my control and had nothing to do with me "not wanting to". Is it any wonder why I've been in therapy since I was 14 years old?!

6.) When I have had enough...or I'm overwhelmed with a situation etc I begin to twirl my hair at the crown of my head (something my neice - who happens to look a lot like me when I was her age also does) or pick at my fingernails.

7.) I have two collections of angels. One set is made of various Christmas themed angels. The other set is a set of collectors Josef birthday angels. My Granny gave me both. I got a Christmas angel every Christmas and a birthday angel every birthday.

8.) You can tell how bad my migraine and/or fibro is on any given day by which of my pets are following me around the house. If Cleo is following me around; it's pretty bad. If both, Cleo and Maggie are following me; then it's really bad.

9.) I wish I were neat and organized but my brain literally doesn't work that way. I've tried to force it; but I just don't know how to make it think and work that way.

10.) I have struggled with the first 9 for like the last hour and a half. But I give up on #10. Sorry; however, some of 1-9 are very deep and detailed scrap so that should make up for the lack of a #10. lol And since this is my blog and my 10 Honest Scraps, I say it does. So there! (How's that for maturity for ya? Yes, I'll be sure to bring that up with Mollie (my therapist) next week. :p lol)

Now I need to present the award to 10 fellow bloggers. In no particular order:

1. Ellyn at Profoundly Seth
2. Amber and Dee Dee at Our Micro Preemies
3. Dragon's Lair Designs
4. Cate at Show My Face
5. Cynthia K at Crumbs in the Minivan
6. The Masto Mama Chronicles
7. Trisha at Minivan Mayhem - The Postlewait Papers
8. Julie at Julie Olsen's Journey
9. Nikky at Pleasantly Chaotic
10. Latree at Dandelion

And now that I've followed all the rules that come with this award, I'm off to...find something else to do. Watch television with Rob. Blog. Post some pictures to the blog. Who knows.

Just an FYI: I started this post at like 8:30am on Monday 10/12/2009. I wasn't able to finish it thanks in part to children, sinus infections/migraines, chores, and life until 11:00pm Monday 10/12/2009. It is now 1:51pm Tuesday 10/13/2009 and I am editing it because I was rushed to finish it by the previous stated time for the previous stated reasons. Now I am happy with the finished product. I think...

1.) Buffy the Vampire Slayer ~ Yes, it's old school. Yes, it's slightly cheesey - especially now. But I love it! I have been known to record it from start to finish and watch it - repeatedly. Back when it was still on television. There is just something about this show that speaks to me on some level and I can't get enough of it. I currently own the first season on DVD. I would love to own all of the seasons so that I could sit down with a few gallons of sweet tea, some popcorn and chocolate and watch them all. All of the seasons, back to back all in a row.

2.) The Office ~ I admit when The Office first began, I hated it. I was offended by Michael Scott. There are still times when I will cover my eyes because I am offended by Michael Scott and can't bear to watch him say or do whatever it is that's about to happen. lol But even I couldn't avoid the pull of Jim and Pam and everyone else for long.

3.) Law & Order ~ I remember hearing the theme song to L&O when I was kid at my Granny's house but I couldn't understand that appeal. As an adult, I understand the appeal. I haven't seen anything near all the episodes but of the repeats that I've seen, I have absolutely no problem watching them, repeatedly. If only recording them all didn't fill-up my DVR box so quickly.

4.) Law & Order: Special Victims Unit ~ I started watching this series in the 2nd season. It was love at first sight. Even with my history, I love it. In fact, I firmly believe that it's my history that allows L&O: SVU and I to have such a strong bond because in SVU I can see the justice take place that I'm likely never to receive myself.

5.) Law & Order: Criminal Intent ~ Vincent D'Onofrio, enough said.

6.) NCIS ~ The plotlines are amazing. The cast chemistry completely draws me in. Plus my nearest and dearest, Nikky, watches it with her hubby Chris so we get to discuss it. You know, in between diapers and doctors appointments and other misc parenting things. lol

7.) Good Eats ~ I've said it once, I'll said it again...I *heart* Alton Brown. I considered naming Emmett John, Alton but figured people would struggle with it. Plus I didn't think Rob would agree. I just love how he makes cooking everything from the simplest meals to the most complicated things sound so easy that I actually feel like I could make them. (I'm still convinced I could make omelets and creps, if I took the time to try. LMAO)

8.) Reba ~ I stumbled upon this show completely by accident a while ago. Now I'm in love. When I can't find anything else on that I like, there's usually an episode of Reba on. I love Reba anyway because I'm a big country music fan but to see her acting rather than singing is such a lovely change. Then when she sings in the show, acting as if she isn't a professional singer in real life, I just love it. Plus it's just a good family show and you can't go wrong with that these days.

9.) Friends ~ I've always loved this show. Even back when it was popular, way back when. Then when Gavin and I were living in "Hell" with...well, in "another lifetime" we used to sit and watch reruns after dinner but before bedtime. We would sit and watch and rock for an hour and it amazed me because Gavin wasn't even a year old but we was always so calm and quiet for the entire hour. It's one of the few happy memories I have from that time. Plus the episodes are always good for a good laugh when nothing is on.

10.) Judging Amy ~ This is another one I don't remember how I got started on it but much like Buffy, I could record it and watch it from beginning to end over and over again without any problems. When we became involved with Child Protective Services a few years ago, I actually said that I only had one request for our Social Worker...I wanted her to be just like Maxine Gray from Judging Amy. I just knew if our Social Worker was compassionate and tenacious in all the right ways; we would be okay. Janice was and we were. In the end, Judging Amy was what helped to renew my faith in the Juvinile Justice System time and time again.

11.) Blues Clues ~ Okay, admitedly I won't love this show because it's a show I personally enjoy. I will always love this show because my boys love and enjoy this show, at least for now. So by playing this show I can usually assure myself a half hour, maybe more, of peace and quiet. Some days peace and quiet is worth everything in the world, which makes this the most very important show in the world.

12.) Intervention ~ This is one of those reality shows that keeps me honest. It keeps me on my toes. Because of my fibromyalgia and migraine headaches I'm on quite a few different heavy duty medications and watching this show reminds me of what could very well happen to me at any given moment if I don't stay on my toes.

13.) The Real World ~ My original reality television show. The one that got me started. I remember way back when I found it on MTV, which I wasn't supposed to be watching at the time (my big act of teenage rebellion) and I fell in love. I didn't know then what reality television was but I thought the idea was pure genius. I still love the all day Real World Marathons. Granted, I prefer the older seasons to the new ones but I'll take what I can get.

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Thursday 13 ~ Reasons I Married Rob & Why I Love Him Still

1.) As corny and cheesey as I'm sure this will sound, it felt right. Granted, this was long before Twilight but he was my Edward. Once we met, I was drawn to him. Perhaps that's part of the reason why the Twilight series holds such a strong appeal for me. ;)

2.) The first time Rob and Gavin met, we went to the park. Keep in mind, this was before the "switch was flipped" and things with Gavin changed. Then we went to dinner at one of my favorite local places. While waiting for our food, Gavin dumped his cup of lemonade in Rob's khaki short wearing lap. It looked like Rob had peed himself. I was sure I would never see Rob again. Rob says that's the moment he fell in love with me.

3.) After the "switch was flipped" and things with the divorce became more difficult, I gave Rob the chance to leave. I offered him an "out". No hard feelings. I would understand. He stayed. Most men would have run. True love stays.

4.) He supports me. No matter what. Even when I don't support myself or my own dreams, there's Rob cheering me on.

5.) He finds the things in me endearing that most would try and quash. Like my love of office supplies. Or my obsession with books and the written word. Or the "battle" we have over which is better, technology or the books and the written word. Like the 100's of pens I have around the house. Or the journals and notebooks. My crazy taste in music and movies. Or how I will watch the same movie or read the same series (ahem, Twilight) repeatedly. He loves these things about me.

6.) I knew from his baby pictures that he was going to make some cute babies! ;)

7.) He's never once laughed at my phobias, ever. He holds my hand and strokes my hair when I have to get shots (needles). He takes care of me when MRI's are needed (small places). He's always there. He never laughs, no matter how silly they may seem to him.

8.) He gave up the fire department for us. I never asked him to do that. I never would have. That was his. His before we came along. And his for as long as he wanted it, I never hinted. Never thought. I knew that was his first love when we started dating and I was okay with that. When he quit; I knew how deep his commitment went.

9.) When my Granny died on Saturday, May 11th 2002, he took care of me for a week. He didn't push. He just loved me. If I hadn't had him and Gavin then, I wouldn't have made it through. He was there and that meant the world to me.

10.) When my world shattered that first weekend Gavin spent with them and I laid in his bed and cried. Paralyzed. Totally unable to move for two days. He slept on couch cushions upstairs so I didn't have to move before I was ready. He didn't push me then either. He was there. And I survived that too. With him.

11.) Every terrifying moment of my pregnancies with Elliott Richard and Emmett John, he was there. He gave me my shots; so I wouldn't have to give them to myself. He stood up for me. He cared for me. He slept on chairs when beds weren't available. He held my hand. He brought me food. He cried with me. Even when he had to go home to feed a dog or take a shower; he never left my side because he would call. From the road. As soon as he got home. Before he left.

12.) The worse my fibromyalgia becomes, the more they find wrong, the worse my health gets the more things falls upon Rob. More chores. More kids things. More "Mommy duties". I sleep more. I take more hot baths. I take more meds. I cry more. My life gets more difficult. His life gets more difficult. Still he doesn't leave. Still he loves me. Still he picks up the slack and keeps on chugging. He takes Gavin to his appointments. He takes me to mine. He naps when/if he can. And we all just keep moving forward. As one family. One unit. One marriage with 3 beautiful children.

13.) Look at my beautiful man over there ~~~~~~>

How can you not fall in love with that beautiful soul?!

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Happy 6th Anniversary my Wonderful Husband!

I love you so much! I truly couldn't do it without you!

Thursday 13 ~ Things I Cannot Live Without (in no particular order ~ really)

1.) Blank Composition Notebooks ~ I need these to keep my thoughts organized. Computers are great and all but I need these to brain storm and whatnot. I can't do that properly with a computer.

2.) Pens ~ Pens, pens glorious pens. Pens of all colors, shapes and sizes. I collect them. I love them. They just so happen to go hand in hand with #1. Funny how that works, huh?

3.) My cell phone ~ But not for the reasons you may be thinking. Sure I love to talk, mainly to Rob and Trisha. However, it also has a camera in it and it's the easiest thing to grab to catch those fun, silly, adorable moments with my boys, my man, my sister, my dog.

4.) My Zune ~ I admit I didn't want it at first. When Rob bought it for me, I was not happy. Sure, it's blue, my favorite color. Now that I have it and I've learned to use it (and it's only taken me like forever) I can't live without it. I listen to it in the tub, when I write, when I just need some "me time".

5.) My laptop ~ Okay, so it's not "mine" per se but for now, it is. And for now, I can't live without it. I couldn't blog without it. I couldn't keep up with Twilight web sites without it (yes, I'm that obsessed). I've made some great new friends all over the world (Hi Latree!) with my baby and that just wouldn't have been possible without her.

6.) Rob ~ Yes, he's my husband. Yes, our marriage is seriously stressed 99.9% of the time. Lately though, things have taken a pleasant turn for the better. Stress or not stress, things are looking up. Stress or no stress, I couldn't do this without him. I need him by my side. He is truly my better half. My in-laws did a fabulous job raising him and I don't want to go through life without him.

7.) Trisha ~ My big sister. I love her. I looked for her for 10 years. It took MySpace to help me find her. (lol) We are alot alike. Then again, we are totally different. Logically, I know that I spent most of my life without Trisha in it; however, emotionally I feel like she's always been there. Kind of like when you have your children, I can't remember life before I had a sister.

8.) My boys ~ All of my life all I've ever wanted was to be a mother. I always thought I wouldn't be fulfilled until I had a daughter. Then I had Mr. Emmett John. Now I know that I wasn't meant to have a daughter and I'm more than okay with that. I am the mother of three wonderful, adorable boys and I wouldn't have it any other way.

9.) Books ~ I love to read. If couldn't do anything else for amusement for the rest of my life, I would want to read. Hands down. Well, read and write...you know what, never mind...I do love books but I can't pick any one thing over another. I'm too selfish. ;)

10.) Reality television ~ Some people say that reality television is the downfall of mankind. It kills brain cells. Blah. Blah. Blah. Yahooie kablooie. Whatever. I say that reality television is the single greatest television invention in a really long time. It is perfect. It's fun and mindless and just...ah...perfect.

11.) Chocolate ~ Chocolate is the perfect food. Honestly, anyone who can find something wrong with chocolate needs to have their head examined because you clearly have deeper underlying issues. Unless of course you are allergic to chocolate, in which case, you have my deepest sympathies and you are, of course, exempt from my prior assessment.

12.) My Blog ~ I've made it very clear at numerous different points in my blog that I prefer the pen and paper journal to the internet blog. However, being the mother of three small boys does not allow the time for a pen and paper journal. Also my arthritis in my hands is preventing me from writing as often and as much as I would like, which makes the blogging much easier than the pen and paper journal. My blog keeps me sane. It makes me happy. I just love it.

13.) Sleep ~ I love to sleep. I miss sleep. With three small boys, sleep is something that is often difficult to come by. (Says the mother with a coughing 3 year old on her lap at 12:15am while she scrambles to try and finish this blog that was supposed to have posted 15 minutes ago. ;) lol)

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Thirteen Things I Miss Most Since Going Dairy Free 1.... Cheese! I love cheese. I love cheese on foods, with foods or alone. I miss Farmer's cheese, Extra Sharp Cheddar cheese, Brie...you get the idea. 2.... Cheesecake! This may sound very similar to #1 but in fact it is very different and deserving of it's own spot. I love me some cheesecake! If you dare to doubt my love for cheesecake...well, shame on you! 3.... Sour cream! I put sour cream on almost as many foods as I pair cheese with. Tacos. French fries. Baked potatoes. I have been known to revolve my menu around what I can make to put sour cream on. 4.... Ice cream! Now the rice milk ice cream is nice. It's actually very good. However, there are only a few flavors. I miss mint chocolate chip and peanut butter-chocolate, just to name a few. 5.... Milk shakes! Again very similar to #4 but totally different and worthy of it's only slot. Sheetz has these frozen milk shake things that you put in their little mixer machine thing. You can decide between "thick" and "extra thick". I love them! They are the best milk shakes around and I miss them. 6.... Cake! I would about kill for a huge piece of ooey gooey chocolate cake with super thick chocolate icing right now. I'm just saying. 7.... Cookies! It is now officially Christmas Season and there will be Christmas cookies every where. I will not be partaking in any of them. :( 8.... Doughnuts! Rob offered to go get doughnuts for breakfast the other day. I was thrilled until I remembered I couldn't have them. We had eggs instead...so not the same. 9.... McDonald's French Fries! Did you know that they treat these delectable little snacks with some sort of milk derivative? Yup. In fact, most of McDonald's foods are treated with this same (or similar) product making my absolutely favorite fast food place a no go. :( 10.... Not having to read every label I come across. Okay, so this isn't a food that I miss but it is something I miss most since going dairy free. So in my book, it counts. Plus it's my blog and I'll list what I want to! :p (lol) 11.... Brownies! Ooey gooey double chocolate brownies....mmmmmmm... 12.... Pizza! It kills me to watch everyone else eating pizza. Probably more than anything else simply because no one likes cheesecake around here except me. Oh how I miss pizza. 13.... Cheesecake! Hey, it's my list and I'll list it twice if I want to!

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Thirteen Things I am Thankful for 1.... Rob, my darling husband. He is the love of my life. I can't imagine life without him. 2.... Gavin Alexander, my beautifully unique oldest. His Autism definitely makes life more complicated and difficult, however, I'm truly blessed to have him as my son. He has helped me become the mother I am today. 3.... Elliott Richard, my kind-hearted trouble-making middle baby. While every baby truly is a miracle, Elliott Richard is my first miracle baby after I was diagnosed as infertile. I am grateful for him each and every day. 4.... Emmett John, my snuggle bug baby. 5.... My pregnancy with Emmett John ended with a happy, healthy baby boy and absolutely no time spent in the NICU. 6.... Rob's adoption of Gavin finally went through - completeing our family and putting an end to 7 years of emotional warfare. 7.... Everyone managed, by the grace of God, to survive the last 7 years of legal Hell and emotional warfare. 8.... Rob is so understanding of my health and physical limitations. 9.... My friends and family. Each and every one of you who has been there, loved and supported us during our struggles. First, while we fought to protect Gavin. Now while we struggle to find our footing again. You've never judged or attacked, only shown us unconditional love and support to the best of your abilities. I will be forever grateful for all of you. 10.... All of your (my faithful blog readers) positive thoughts and prayers over the past year. 11.... Laughter. I may not laugh as much as I like lately but I'm grateful for the times I do get to laugh. 12.... Dr D. and his amazing nursing staff and all their medical expertise for making #3, 4, and 5 possible. Rob and I firmly believe that without these wonderful people Elliott Richard, Emmett John and myself would not be here today. 13.... And my completely shallow thing that I am thankful for, my cell phone. While it's the polar opposite of girlie and what I want, it is exactly what I need and I couldn't get along without it. (Thank you to my darling husband for forcing me to use it. Somehow you always know...which is really irritating sometimes. ;) lol)

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Thirteen Random M&M Facts 1.... All 3 boys were born on even numbered days (18, 4 & 26). 2.... All 3 boys were conceived in odd numbered years (1999, 2005 & 2007). 3..... All 3 boys were born in even numbered years (2000, 2006, 2008). 4.... They were born on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday (so every other day) respectively. 5.... From induction to delivery I was in labor for 15 hours, 10 hours, and 10 hours. 6.... I was an odd numbered age at the time of each birth (19, 25 & 27). 7.... There are 6 years, 1 month, 12 days (or 2232 days) between Gavin and Elliott Richard. 8.... There are 8 years, 5 months, 8 days (or 3078 days) between Gavin and Emmett John. 9.... There are 2 years, 3 months, 23 days (843 days) between Elliott Richard and Emmett John. 10.... Gavin's name was picked out at 20 weeks. Elliott Richard's name was picked in shifts - Richard at 20 weeks and Elliott at about 30 weeks. Emmett John's name was picked out 24 hours (almost to the minute) before his birth. 11.... Emmett John was the earliest and smallest at birth. He is also the longest and heaviest at 4 months (3 months adjusted) old. 12.... Gavin was the longest at birth (21.5 inches). Elliott Richard and Emmett John tie for second place (19.5 inches). 13.... Gavin was 4 days late. Elliott Richard was 22 days early. Emmett John was 27 days early.

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Thirteen Things that Make Me Who I Am 1.... I love to write. Journaling. Creative writing. List writing. Signing my name. Simply the act of writing. I love it and consider it a dying art. 2.... I love the color blue - especially the shade cerulean blue (Look familiar?) Given a choice of colors, I'll pick pink over all other colors. And I'll pick blue over pink. 3.... I am creative in just about every thing I do. It's the only way I know how to be. 4.... I talk way too much. Just not on the phone - I hate talking on the phone unless it's Rob or my mom and sometimes even then. 5.... I am fiercely loyal to those I love. I may not always show it but it's true. When push comes to shove, I always back my friends and family up. Always. 6.... I don't tell others' secrets - ever. The only exception to this rule is if the secret is more harmful if kept than if the right people are told. 7.... Patience may be a virtue but I can assure you that it is not one I happen to possess. 8.... I love to think - about anything, everything and nothing at all. I probably think too much. 9.... I love and prefer actual books and libraries. I don't read E-books. Period. They don't smell right - or at all for that matter. They don't feel right. In fact, to me they are just plain wrong in every sense of the word. 10.... I am very intelligent (so say my doctors, I'm not tooting my own horn here) and I love to learn. My mom once said I was going to be a "professional student" when I grew up. Oh, if only. 11.... I am stubborn. Seriously, mules and rams and all other stubborn animal analogies don't hold a candle to me. I'm worse than all of them. Just ask Rob. 12.... I am a sentimental "pack rat". If it had meaning to me or represents something meaningful, I keep it. All my boys have hat boxes for these items and hopefully they will have handmade chests from Pa-Pa G to replace the hat boxes because I am that attached to these physical representations of my cherished memories. 13.... I don't do anything half way. It's either all or nothing. I throw myself wholly and completely into absolutely everything I do. This tends to make life far more complicated and exhausting than it truly needs to be but for better or worse, it's who I am.

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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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Thirteen Things I Want to Accomplish Before I Die 1.... I want to write and publish a book. Preferably a best selling novel but so long as I write it and an actual company publishes it, I'll be happy. 2.... I want to take a food based traveling vacation. Think in terms of 'Feasting on Asphalt' or 'Feasting on Waves'. Yes, I know these are Alton Brown trips. However, it is an established fact that I *heart* Alton Brown so does that really matter. :) 3.... I want to travel to Ireland. I may never know anything about my birth father and his Irish heritage but I want to go there anyway. Maybe I'll even mix #2 with #3. 4.... I want to see my sons grown and happy. I don't care what they are doing, so long as it makes them happy. (And it's legal - happy and legal. ;) lol) 5.... I want to grow old with Rob. And not just "old" but like front porch sitting, mashed peas eating, talking about the "old days" ad nauseum OLD. 6.... I want to go back to college and graduate with my BA in English. Then I want to go grad school and graduate with my Masters and/or Doctorate in English. Then in my spare time (in between watching the boys grow up, traveling to Ireland/around the world and getting old with Rob) I want to become an English Professor. 7.... I want to help fight the wars on Domestic Violence and Autism. I want to start a domestic violence shelter with everything all under one roof - legal assistance, housing, counseling, the whole she-bang. And then I want to help the government, the insurance companies and the public school systems better understand Autism. I want the ins co to understand that by not treating Autism they are causing more issues because most parents cannot afford the treatments. I want the public school systems to stop seeing dollar signs when they hear "Autism" mentioned and understand that you cannot place an Autistic child in a 'special needs' classroom and expect them to operate completely under your guidelines and rules simply because it will make your lives easier. Likewise, you then cannot place said child(ren) in restraint chairs or in-school suspension because they "misbehaved". (Yes, sadly this does happen. A lot.) But I digress... 8.... I want to ride in a limo. I've never been in one and I think it would be cool. 9.... I want to take a cross country trip in a train. Then I want to come home in a bus. Like a decked out tour bus. I just think it would be cool. 10.... I want to find a way to truly share with my boys just how special my Granny was. I want them to feel as if they know her, even though they will never get the chance. 11.... I want to continue to keep journals (handwritten) and pack them up so they are in order when the time comes for them to be passed on. 12.... I want to learn and grow beyond then need for cynicism as a form of protection. It's exhausting to try and maintain that level of constant vigilance. 13.... I want to leave this world knowing that my boys felt loved. I want to leave this world, leaving my boys with heads full of memories, hearts full of love and compassion, and souls at peace with my passing because I had a good life and I helped teach them how to have the same.

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Okay so I've been lacking in my Thursday 13 responsibilities. I apologize for that. (I know you've all been on the edge of your seats anxiously awaiting my first Thursday 13! lol)

This week my Thursday Thirteen is inspired by a very dear friend of mine who recently found out that she's pregnant! (Yippee!) And I promise you that I am not my own "dear friend". ;) lol Seriously, I'm not!

Thirteen Signs I'm Pregnant 1.... I am super thirsty all the time. I wake up so often for a drink of water that I polish off 32oz in about 8 hours of sleep. 2.... My breasts hurt so much it's not funny. Really, it isn't funny. 3.... Things that should make me cry, don't. 4.... Things that shouldn't make me cry, do. A lot. 5.... I am absolutely starving but the mere thought of eating - don't ask. 6.... My mother calls me to tell me she's dreamed about me being pregnant - again. She has this dream every time I get pregnant. 7.... Rob wakes up one morning and tells me "you need to pee on a stick". He always seems to know before me somehow. 8.... I. Am. Exhausted. I sleep all night. Take 4 hour naps. And still look and feel like a zombie. 9.... My complexion clears up. Over night. 10.... My cat, Cleo, will not leave me alone. She lays on my belly and purrs if I lay down or if I recline. Heaven help me if I dare to sit. She'll force her way onto my belly. It's honestly a miracle my children don't expect me to purr. 11.... I start dreaming about naming babies, even before I know that I'm pregnant. 12.... I get headaches - not migraines which are normal for me. Just plain, old, run of the mill headaches. Pregnancy is the only time I get headaches. 13.... And finally, my ex-mother-in-law is off somewhere filing a contempt motion seeking to have me thrown in jail. Seriously, she's done this with my last two pregnancies. lol

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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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I've decided to add a few new things to the blog. They were inspired by Lindsey's Rantings and My Charming Kids.

Thursday 13 ~ I will post a list of 13 things every Thursday. (I stole this from Lindsey's Monday 13 and MckMama.)

Twitter-isms ~ Whenever they arrise I will post Elliott Richard's newest words and phrases with translations (where necessary). (This is my twist on a cross between MckMama posting about Big Mac and Lindsey's Thursday Pablo-isms.)