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My Breastfeeding Badges of Honor

Newest Baby-to-be Pictures

4:44:00 PM Posted In , Edit This 1 Comment »
Ultrasound picture from Tuesday, January 29th. Tiny is 14 weeks 6 days in this picture. On the right is the face (alien-looking though it is) and on the left is the body. The black circle in the body is the stomach, I think, it's black because the baby had swallowed some of the amniotic fluid. Which is supposed to happen to help the digestive tract to develop.

Ultrasound picture taken Wednesday, February 6th at the hospital. Tiny is exactly 16 weeks in this picture. Tiny's face is pretty much in the center of the picture. The whiter blob in the bottom of the face is where Tiny's nose and mouth are/will be. The top of the blob is the nose and the bottom of the blob are the lips. Right above the blob there is a tiny, tiny circle (I don't know if you can see it in this picture.) that is the lens of the eye, or will be when all is said and done.
Ultrasound picture taken Wednesday, February 6th at the hospital. Tiny is exactly 16 weeks in this picture. On the left is Tiny's head/profile. If you look closely, you can see Tiny's mouth is open! :) The little white blob on top of Tiny's belly is the hand that was doing all the belly rubbing during the ultrasound. The greyish circular blob under the hand-blob is the heart. And on the right are Tiny's legs, all curled up under the butt. :)

16 weeks

8:14:00 PM Posted In Edit This 1 Comment »
What the baby has been up to this week: Over the past three weeks your astounding growing baby has managed to stretch yet another 2 full inches (totaling about 4.5 inches) and weighs around 3.5 ounces. Yessireee, that’s some pretty serious growth... and with it comes several physical developments! For starters, their head to body ratio is finally starting to even out a bit as the rest of the body is actually growing faster than the head at this point. Yes, your little light bulb is not so top-heavy. Their adorable little limbs have lengthened, almost reaching their normal proportions which they will have at birth. Their eyes are still closed but moving and if you had an ultrasound, which many doctors recommend you have at about this time, you may even see your little one sucking on a thumb, not to mention the necessary signifiers to let you know whether you’ve got a wee lad or lassie.

The newest member of the family (I'm still NOT TELLING!) has been a busy little bee. I haven't seen any thumb sucking as of yet. However, I did see some belly rubbing going on! (Not my own. ;) lol) That was very cool. Then of course there was a bunch of arm waving while being pressed and pushed on during the ultrasound. My kids have never been very fond of the whole ultrasound experience. It's almost like they are offended at the intrusion. lol

Being Human is Exhausting (pregnancy/ultrasound update)

8:33:00 PM Posted In , , , Edit This 0 Comments »
“Harry, suffering like this proves you are still a Man! This pain is a part of being human--”“THEN—I –DON’T—WANT—TO—BE—HUMAN!” Harry roared, and he seized one of the delicate silver instruments from the spindle-legged table beside him and flung it across the room. It shattered into a hundred tiny pieces against the wall. Several of the pictures let out yells of anger and fright, and the portrait of Armando Dippet said, “Really!”“I DON’T CARE!” Harry bellowed at them, snatching up a lunascope and throwing it into the fireplace. “I’VE HAD ENOUGH, I’VE SEEN ENOUGH, I WANT OUT, I WANT IT TO END, I DON’T CARE ANYMORE!”…“You do care,” said Dumbledore. He had not flinched or made a single move to stop Harry demolishing his office. His expression was calm, almost detached. “You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it.”


That's a quote from "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix". I love this quote. It feels me perfectly. I'm forever saying how I'm done, I want out and I don't care. But what Dumbledore says (yes, I'm aware that he is a fictional character) is true. I care so much I feel as though I will bleed to death with the pain of it.

Current Pregnancy Stats:
164lb.
150bpm

I'm trying to kill time while I wait for my OB to call me. Today has been crazy. I've had some cramping and a few contractions since Monday. The cramps aren't anything I haven't already had this time around. The contractions HURT. I had to stop what I was doing and focus and breathe they hurt so much. So I called the office today and they wanted me to come in.

We got there. I peed. They weighed me - I gained 3 pounds in a week. Don't ask me how. *sigh* I'm up to 14 pounds gained so far. The nurse must have been new because she went through my whole medical history, again. Then we talked to the nurse practioner and she was going to check me but didn't want to "stir things up" in case the contractions were effecting my cervix. So she sent me for an ultrasound at the hospital.

The hospital couldn't get me in until 7pm. So Rob stayed home with the boys and my mom took me. (Thanks again, Mom!) She did an internal and external ultrasound. During the external we got to see all of the perfect little body parts again. She even printed a couple of pictures for me to take home. :) It was really cool to see all the different parts again. The baby weighes about 7 ounces and is measuring about a week ahead of my due date. But she said that at this stage babies grow at such different rates that they don't change the due date, which is fine by me.

Then she did the internal and got real quiet. She said she could see something that she thinks was what the ER tech thought was a band. She said she thought it was a blood vessel behind my placenta. Then she took a bunch of pictures of the placement of the placenta for the doctor because she was concerned with it's placement. She checked my cervix - closed up tight like Fort Knox - and we were done. Then Mom and I had to wait for the utrasound tech to talk to the ER doc. Then the ER doc wanted me to wait around while she talked to my OB but finally let me leave because my OB wasn't talking non-emergency calls until 8:30pm. So the tech took my cell phone number and said that either someone from the hospital would call or more likely the doctor would call us.

So now we wait. I'll update when I have more to tell. And I'll try and get last week's ultrasound pics and today's scanned so I can share them. :)

The mating rituals of 8 yr olds

4:20:00 PM Posted In , Edit This 3 Comments »
Gavin does not ride the bus home. Either Rob or I pick him up and drop him off each day. I do not trust the local school district to transport my son. End of story. Period.

But I digress, Gavin does not ride the bus home. However, his classmates do. The bus that Gavin would ride (if I trusted them but I don't) stops in front of our house at 4:44pm each afternoon. (That's right, IF Gavin rode the bus he would be on said bus from 3:00pm - 4:44pm every afternoon. Those of you who know Gavin well, go ahead and imagine how quickly that would go wrong.) Well, his classmates Khrissy and Robert ride the bus that Gavin would ride. Today Gavin realized that the bus that stops in front of our house had Khrissy on it. Khrissy also noticed that she was parked in front of Gavin's house...

Khrissy likes Gavin. I think Gavin likes Khrissy. If I needed proof of Gavin's feelings...I now have them. I offer you sneak peek into the "mating rituals of 8 yr olds"...


The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

5:20:00 PM Posted In , , Edit This 0 Comments »
I'll keep this short and sweet because I'm already cramping and stressed beyond measure at this point.

The Good:

I spoke with my attorney today. There was some question as to whether or not he would be able to represent me during this current legal snafu. We ended the conversation having decided that he was going to get flack from his bosses and they weren't going to be happy. However, we are currently in a fiancial crisis and we are still sending him payments. Granted they are small payments. But unless I win the lottery I'll never be able to pay off a lump sum. But he will take the flack and whatnot but will represent me. So that's the good.

The Bad:

I haven't even gone to court yet and I'm already cramping. Plus, TECHNICALLY they have an arguement. TECHNICALLY...TECHNICALLY....TECHNICALLY...I HATE technicalities!

The Ugly:

This legal snafu is going to be U-G-L-Y...UGLY. There are no two ways about it. For now, I have sent her an offer (through my attorney) for supervised visits, period. She will never have more than supervised visits. The most she could ever hope for are technically (there's that blasted word again) unsupervised visits at the supervised location. Meaning she would be at the supervised location but the monitor would not be right on them the entire time. Maybe the monitor would peek in the room or if she took him outside to their playground the monitor would stay inside and check on them through a window. But that is my offer. I doubt she's received it yet. If she recieves it and responds by refusing, I will ask my attorney to send one last letter stating that this is her last chance. If she goes forward with court and sets a date, I will withdraw the offer from the table. She will not have my offer waiting in Avenue A in case her court case in Avenue B fails. Sorry charlie.

I'm so tired. Please pray.

15 week Belly Pictures

9:53:00 AM Posted In , , , Edit This 2 Comments »
My 14 week belly pictures are temporarily lost in limbo somewhere. So until I locate them...Here are my 15 week belly pictures...

You know you're getting big when you look pregnant from the FRONT!

Belly bump with Elliott Richard. lol

Elliott Richard showing the baby some love.

And the obligitory side shot...while I try and relocate my feet. lol

Pictures, pictures everywhere - Elliott Richard

9:06:00 AM Posted In , , , Edit This 1 Comment »
Here's the little photogenic baby. He's recently discovered that the camera loves him and he loves the camera! lol

Elliott's gift
Elliott Richard opening his gift at Gavin's party

Elliott's Turn
Elliott Richard's turn blowing out Gavin's candles.

Elliott vs the Cake
Elliott Richard vs the cake

Chillin' with Grandma
Chillin' with Grandma W.

Elliott hanging with Grandma
Hanging out with Grandma G.

KISSES
Who loves the camera? Not, Elliott Richard! lol

Sitting on Daddy's shoulder
Sitting on Daddy's shoulder - Elliott Richard's favorite place to be.

I said NO MORE!
I said, NO MORE!!!!!

Muah!
Lovin' on the Daddy

Beep beep
I just want to beep your nose. SIT STILL!

I said BEEP BEEP!
It's easier to beep Mommy's nose when she's holding me. She can't get away! lol

Kissin' the nose
*Muah!*

The push toy revival
The revival of the push toy...I don't know what's up with that grin. It's seems to be the only one I can get out of him lately. lol

Pictures, pictures, everywhere!

8:55:00 AM Posted In , Edit This 0 Comments »
It's time to update y'all from the photo stand point. Aren't you excited? ;) lol Here we go...

First up, Gavin's 8th Birthday Party on Saturday January 26, 2008!

Gavin's 8th Birthday Party 1.26.08
Opening presents

Humoring the adults
Humoring the adults by reading the cards...LAST! lol

*THE* Gift
*THE* gift...he was so excited I thought he'd pop a vein! lol

Singing Happy Birthday
Singing Happy Birthday and blowing out the candles

Focusing on the positive

2:28:00 PM Posted In , , Edit This 2 Comments »

Okay, so things are a little rocky right now. I'm stressed. I once again find myself with a migraine that my medications cannot touch. And I'm exhausted. But a wise woman once told me to focus on the positive. And if I find that I cannot focus on the positive to simply focus on Jesus. I am not to the point of needing to focus on Jesus alone at this point. So I choose in stead to focus on the positive. In no particular order, here are my positives:

*I feel "moving and grooving" everyday now.
*Elliott Richard is learning new words all the time. So far today I've heard "orine" (orange) and "hola".
*Gavin is so sweet.*Somehow I'm managed (with Rob's help of course) to raise
2 very polite little men. Even Elliott Richard says "thank you" and "welcome"
(you're welcome). He struggles with "please" but he'll get it with time.
*My husband is loving and supportive. I couldn't find a better man if I wanted to -
and I don't.
*I have a roof over my head.
*I have food in my belly.
*February is Italo's Pizzaria's "buy a large 1 topping for $6" month. I love Italo's Pizza.
*Most times my boys would rather have healthy snack (fruit and veggies) than junk.
*I have a Mother who loves me and helps me out with getting a break or taking care of the boys or last minute babysitting more times than I can count. Without her I
wouldn't be half the Mom I am. Heck, without her I wouldn't be nearly as sane as
I am.
*My birth mother was compassionate enough to give me life and give my parents the gift of parenthood.
*I have friends and family who love me.
*I have a good head on my shoulders.
*I am realitively healthy and the medical issues I do have aren't life threatening, just life annoying. ;) lol
*While Gavin is Autistic, he is "high functioning" which means I don't have to go his whole life without hearing him say my name or tell me he loves me.
*Elliott Richard is my little preemie miracle.
*Rob is always willing to allow me a precious nap or relaxing bath.
*There are so many wonderful people, some I know and some I'll probably never have the opportunity to meet, who are willing to pray for us.
*My God is an awesome God.

I could keep going but I think I've covered the basics. :) Feel free to leave a comment with anything else that you feel should make the list.

Le Sigh

1:33:00 PM Posted In , , , Edit This 0 Comments »
It always seems to go in my life that things are a trade off. Good for bad. Bad for more bad. Bad for worse. Very rarely, bad for good. I feel like I'm riding the New York Stock Exchange or something.

We need prayers. Lots and lots of prayers. Long story short, my ex-husband and his mother have not seen Gavin since mid-July. It was their choice!!!! Around the 21st or 22nd of January we received a letter from our attorney with a copy of a letter from my ex-mother-in-law's attorney 2.5 hours away. She was asking for visitation to resume, unsupervised. We made the offer that she could have supervised visits, period. If she was telling the truth and it really was only about seeing Gavin, she should have accepted the supervised visits. Especially since they are in Gavin's best interest.

Unfortunately, while we were in our appointment on Tuesday, January 29th her attorney was filing paperwork seeking to have me thrown in jail, again...

I say again because in the summer of 2005, just after I found out I was pregnant with Elliott Richard she filed to have me thrown in jail for contempt of court because I had refused to give her what she wanted.

(Another long story short, at the time she had every other weekend visitation and 2 weeks in the summer. The summer weeks had to be agreed upon by both of us - her and me. Summer of 2005, she dictated the weeks she was taking. I told her no because she had set them up in such a way that Gavin would be coming home for a few days at a time between visits. She didn't want her weeks to coinside with her weekends. She wanted to have her cake and eat it, too. I told her those weeks wouldn't work and gave her 3 or 4 different options to choose from. She refused and stated she would only take what she wanted, nothing else. Never mind that what she wanted clearly wasn't in the best interest of Gavin. Well, we were waiting for my court date and Couny CPS (Child Protective Services) got involved and began to investigate my ex-husband so they had to drop the contempt charges. In May 2007, when the whole CPS case ended when we all agreed - me, Rob, my ex, my ex's mother - that the previous visitation agreement would be disolved and we would work with Pattie (Gavin's psychologist) on the new one. Are you confused yet? lol Fast forward...)

...Her attorney refiled the contempt charges, seeking once again to have me thrown in jail. Based on my limited legal knowledge, they shouldn't be able to do this because we all agreed the previous arrangement was disolved. The problem is that to argue and prove that I need an attorney. My attorney cannot be my attorney any longer. So I will not have an attorney to aid in my defense. The problem is that we owe over $25,000 in legal fees. For my attorney to go to defend me costs $2,000 just for him to travel down there. Never mind the fees per hour while he's in court and whatnot. He cannot defend me any more because we owe too much money already.

I need prayers. I have spent the last 9 years (including the pregnancy) fighting to protect my sweet Gavin from these people who don't understand him and don't want to. (Although I suspect that even with his own issues, Nick is trying to do what it best for Gavin. I think this is all her and he's being drug along for the ride.) I have no money to pay my attorney. And I can't find an attorney willing to take my case because everyone knows everyone else down there. I have been praying to God to help us in protecting Gavin. Yet everytime I pray for this the road just seems to get harder and steeper.

My body is no longer my own.

7:50:00 AM Posted In , , , , , Edit This 0 Comments »
Well, it's official. I've reached the point in my pregnancy where my belly is starting to "get in way". lol If I am standing up and I look down, guess what I see? Nothing. My feet have disappeared. (Now I am still able to lean forward far enough to find them again. But if I look straight down, they are gone.) This morning when I was doing he dishes for breakfast I leaned on the counter like I always do. Only this time I was told in no uncertain terms that "Hey lady, I'm down here you know!" lol Now please don't misunderstand me, I love these things. I love that my feet have disappeared when I'm standing. I love that I can't do certain things without reminder that my body is no longer my own. I love that my body is constantly changing. There is just something about pregnancy that has always...sat well with me, for lack of a better way to put it.

Gavin's pregnacy was pretty easy. I only had morning sickness of days when my stress level was especially high. This is when I experienced my first migraine. (Apparently they've decided they like me and I've had migraines ever since.) I even managed to work until was 7 or 8 months pregnant. Most of the problems I thought I had were really just me being 18/19 years old and pregnant for the first time. I didn't know what was what. I didn't know what to expect, even after reading every book I could get my hands on. The two biggest issues I had were my blood pressure (thanks to people who shall remain nameless) and once about 2 weeks before my due date I couldn't get Gavin to move for an entire day. It was scary but everything turned out okay. He was just running out of room to move. :) lol Gavin was born on Tuesday, January 18th, 4 days after his due date of January 14th. He was happy, healthy and perfect.

Elliott Richard's pregnancy was a complete 180degrees from Gavin's. The 1st trimester was all day sickness, cramping, headaches and worry. The 2nd trimester was pretty quiet. It was mainly my cousin Sam's wedding, Rob's brother Jon's wedding, Halloween and Thanksgiving. The 3rd trimester was a different story entirely. Starting at 27-29 weeks I began experiencing preterm labor. I had a DVT. I was hospitalized at various points for different lengths of time. And I ended up on bed rest. In the end, Elliott Richard was born at 36 weeks on Saturday, March 4th, 4 weeks before his due date of Tuesday, March 28th. He was angry, sick and perfect. He spent his first 10 days of life in the NICU.

This pregnancy has been a combination of the two. There are times when I worry because things are quiet and all is right with the world. After Elliott Richard I'm not used to this "calm pregnancy". I've had horrible migraines, worse than with Elliott Richard. I had all day sickness, worse than with Elliott Richard. And cramping, worse than with Elliott Richard. Then you add the "band" scare and 16 days of trying not to worry. But everything is just as it should be, right where it should be.

While I may change my mind later, I would definitely be willing to do this all again. if I could get Rob to agree. :) lol I love being pregnant. I love knowing that a new life is growing inside of me. I love knowing that I alone am responsible for this tiny person for the next 9-10 months. I love breastfeeding. I love newborns, its probably my favorite phase because they just change so much, so quickly. If I had perfect, "text book" pregnancies and I could get Rob to agree to it; I would be a surogate mother. I honestly love being pregnant that much. lol

Pregnancy Dreams

7:35:00 PM Posted In , , Edit This 0 Comments »
I completely forgot to post about my crazy pregnancy dream I had last night! It was just...bizarre! Various friends and family members kept taking me out to eat. Every restaurant I went to, I would order my meal (steak and potatoes, pork chops etc.). Then when my meal would come it looked like what I had ordered but it was made entirely out of white, milk and dark chocolate!!!! Some of it was molded out of chocolate, some was chocolate shavings...whatever it took to make chocolate look like food. It should have been good because chocolate is one of my favorite foods of all time. But after a while, it just got old. lol

15 weeks

5:08:00 PM Posted In , , , , , , , Edit This 0 Comments »
What we've been up to...
Your nearly four-inch long gymnast is happily mobile inside your womb and if you're really lucky, you’ll notice a point when your sneezing, coughing or laughing results in a little kick here or a poke there. Still, many women don't feel anything until the 17th week or later. Although the poking and kicking isn't very charming during sleeping hours, it’s a good sign as it means your baby is actually reacting to outside events. Yay! You’ve got yourself one active healthy baby! Their little elbows and knees are bending more freely this week and their little legs are finally growing longer than their arms and getting pumped up for prenatal Richard
Simmons. Many of their major organ systems are increasing in capacity—particularly that amazing tiny heart and complex circulation system, which is now pumping about 25 quarts of blood per day, and will increase to a very impressive 200 quarts per day by the end of the pregnancy. As far as hair goes, we’ve got some new scalp patterns beginning to develop on the head, although actual head hair is not yet present.
I feel like I haven't written a proper blog this week. Well, besides the long awaited update on Tuesday. The week has been crazy busy but nothing I really feel comfortable sending out into cyberspace.

I tried to take a nap a little while ago but didn't get much rest. There was some definitely some moving and grooving going on in there and I wanted to stay awake to feel it. :) Only problem is that now I'm even more exhausted than I was before I laid down. *sigh* Such is pregnancy.

Elliott Richard is growing like a weed! He's started telling us which way to go to get home or get where he thinks we shoud go. He'll point in a direction and squeal, "That way!" It's pretty cute. Of course, when you think about it, Elliott Richard is pretty cute, too. Not that I'm biased or anything.

We kept Gavin home from school today because he had an appointment with Dr. R., his psychiatrist. Then we lucked out because today ended up being a snow day, so at least missing school didn't count against him. We've been worried about some of his behaviors lately. Luckily, it isn't what we were afraid of. It would appear that Gavin is suffering from some S.A.D. coupled with a little bit of situational depression. We are going to try a new medication and see if that helps any. I'm hoping it does because he looks so sad and forelorn. :(

I'm 15 weeks pregnant and things are supposed to be settling down a bit. My energy should be returning little by little. The nausea should be subsiding and slowly over time it is. I still have days though where it hits me full force and I'm miserable. And I shouldn't be getting winded until I'm closer to the 3rd trimester but I swear do anything exhausts me and gets me out of breath.

The writers strike is still killing me! I miss my shows! I want them back! Until I get them back, I have been finding reruns of old shows I never got to watch and recording them. Right now, I'm hooked on "America's Next Top Model". Few things are more entertaining that watching a group of women living together while fighting for the chance of a lifetime. lol I admit, I'm a reality television addict. There are some who say it kills braincells and whatnot. But you know what, I'm a stay-at-home mom to 2 boys (1 with Autism) and I'm pregnant with my 3rd child. If I want to zone and watch people do things I would never do in a million years - leave me be! :p lol

Crazy Pregnant Lady Dreams (otherwise known as procrastination)

8:27:00 AM Posted In , , Edit This 1 Comment »
I have a sink full of dishes calling my name. But I'm tired and didn't get much sleep last night so I'm trying to ingnore them for a while.

Okay, so it's now 4:40pm. I started this blog at 8:30am which is probably the time that will show on the final posting. This day has been crazy. Crazy. Crazy.

I'm up to my elbows in checks, order forms, cash and more order forms for the school fundraiser. All in all, we didn't do too bad. I just wish they gave me paperwork to fill out. I'm trying to come up with something on the fly to keep this info organized and it's just making the whole process more difficult.

The dishes still aren't done. Elliott Richard can't decide what he wants to do with himself. I have no idea what is for dinner. And I've got a raging migraine. I love my job as head of the PTST but I hate the stupid paperwork. It just hurts my head.

I had crazy pregnant lady dreams last night that were pretty funny. I can't remember what they were now. Story of my life.

Everything, exactly as it is meant to be.

10:47:00 AM Posted In , Edit This 1 Comment »
I posted a week or so ago about how my outlook on religion has changed recenty and the events that led to the change. Well, my beloved new-found Gram has struck again. :) lol *see below*

"Waiting to hear whether the baby will go potty sitting down or standing up (") Of course it will be a while before that happens as we all well know. " ~Taken from a comment posted to my blog by Gram.

This part of her comment made me laugh so hard I cried, which I deseperately needed this morning. God works in mysterious ways. I can't express how thankful for all of the wonderful, mysterious occurances and people that have we've been blessed with lately.

The best boys a mother could ask for...

8:57:00 AM Posted In , , Edit This 3 Comments »
There are moments as a mother, when you are either reminded of where you fell painfully short or where you excelled without even realizing it. Unfortunately, it seems that the former happens far more than the latter. Yesterday was one of those rare moments when I was reminded of what I had done right, despite all of the stress and hiccups in our lives.

For Gavin's birthday he was give two T-Rex models. One from Grandma and Grandpa W. The other from Grandma and Grandpa G. Both were horrible disasters. lol Last night we took them back to the store. The plan was for Gavin to pick up a game for the PS3. He didn't get to do that because Toys R Us still has most games in their store marked at full price ($60) where as every other store has marked them down to ($30-40). (Can we say RIP OFF?) So Rob and Gavin wandered around Toys R Us for a half hour - 45 minutes while I sat in the car and Elliott Richard slept. Gavin looked at everything, including toys he knows he can't have like guns and weapons.

Finally he decided on a movie...for me. He told Rob that I really love Harry Potter and I didn't have "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" yet. He wanted to get it for me. Rob told him that it was his birthday money and he could spend it any way he wanted (within reason of course) and he didn't need to get anything for me. Gavin told him, "No, Mommy really loves Harry Potter. I want to get it for her. I want her to have it." (I'm crying as I write this.) So he used half of his money last night. He bought "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix", a Mega Blocks movie (who knew they made movies with/about legos?!), a bag of Skittles for himself and a bag of fruit snacks for Elliott Richard.

There are days when I try and try and try to get through to him on ANY level and I just feel so inadequate. Then there are moments like this one, where for a moment in time we are able to catch a small glimpse of the True Gavin. The Gavin that could have been before Autism. The Gavin he is when the Autism doesn't lock him away. There are moment when I question how wonderful a mother I really am. And then there are moments, like this one, where I realize that more of what I've tried to teach him has gotten through than I realized. He just can't always show us all that he's learned.

*THE* Appointment

1:47:00 PM Posted In , , , Edit This 3 Comments »
The morning was SO stressful it was unreal. Rob and I were at each other’s throats. Of course we overslept which just started the whole day off on the WRONG foot to begin with. Oversleeping set Gavin's day off on the wrong foot, I'm just praying that he was able to pull it out of the nosedive at school. Rob took Gavin to school then I took a quick bath and got ready. Then we took Elliott Richard to Grandma G's.

My appointment was at 9:40am. I got there with a full bladder, just in case because some ultrasound techs prefer a full bladder. They think it helps push the uterus forward, making it easier to view. Thankfully Barb (Dr. D's ultrasound tech) doesn't follow this rule. So I took care of that and Barb was calling me in. (ARGH! My keyboard keeps skipping letters even though I'm hitting them! Moving on...)

Barb did both an internal ultrasound and abdominal ultrasound. I think it lasted about a half hour total. I would have laid there for 5 hours if she had let me. Barb took at least a dozen pictures for Dr. D to review. Then she took 3 for us, which I'll have to scan and post later.

I'm stalling here. I know I am. I don't know why though. Maybe it's because I'm just not ready to share the news. I want to keep it *mine*. I want to bask in the glow that is the miracle of life growing inside me. I want to enjoy this and these next few months because they are truly the only time I will ever have all to myself. Where I won't have to share.

That's not fair though. Most of you have been there for me over the past 16 days. You've prayed for us. You've followed our story. Most of you have been very loving and supportive. Barb looked for half-an-hour, from every angle (literally) and she saw NOTHING!!!!!!! YIPPEE!

She didn't see a single band! She couldn't even see evidence that there had ever been a band in the first place. She showed us the heart, all four chambers, beating perfectly at 150 bpm. She showed us the bladder, all filled up. We saw the kideys, which I've never seen in an ultrasound before. We saw all ten little fingers and all ten little toes. (Clubbed foot is common with Amniotic Band Syndrome, which we DON'T HAVE!) We saw the brain. We saw all the tiny PERFECT little body parts. There was kicking and wiggling. Absolutely wonderful and miraculous.

Now you are probably wondering, did you find out the sex of the baby, Lizze? *shrugs* We certainly could have. Guess you'll have to wait to find out if we did. :p lol

Crash and burn

10:06:00 AM Posted In Edit This 1 Comment »
Wow...I.am.exhausted. We were all running non-stop from 7:00am until about 5:00pm when everyone showed up for Gavin's 8th birthday party. I will post a big long post complete with pictures later, after I've recovered.

Ick

11:47:00 AM Posted In Edit This 0 Comments »
I'm sick. It is now official. My cold has migrated from a cold to a sinus infection to bronchitis. I called Dr. D's office and they are calling in some antibiotics for me. I'm supposed to stop taking the Sudafed because it stopped working when things started migrating to my lungs. She said I can try one of the other cold/sinus medications though to help me breathe a little easier until the antibiotics kick in. I can't wait to feel better. I just hope this doesn't put too big a crimp on our plans for Gavin's Family Birthday Party tomorrow night. He's been looking forward to it for a week now.

I just realized I sound like Darth Vader when I breathe. That's probably not a good thing. Of course, the nurse who called me back is new and she thought I was Rob when I answered the phone. Maybe I'm a bit more congested than I thought. lol

I think I'll go take a nap now.

T-minus 4 days

9:50:00 AM Posted In , Edit This 0 Comments »
What Ladybug's been up to in Week 14?
Isn’t it glorious? You and your little buckaroo have roped your way right into trimester numero dos! Are you ready to rock!? Okay, okay… maybe just a little rolling and poking. Needless to say, your baby will definitely be making themselves known in the upcoming weeks. At about 3.5 inches long, their little body and limber limbs are coordinated enough for loads of complicated motions. In fact, their whole body is moving right now! You're not feeling it because their current size is still a bit too small to make an impact you'd recognize. Still, their movements are recognizable on an ultrasound. Speaking of which, you shoud be scheduling one with your health care provider! Week 16 is the classic date as you can usually determine whether your little one is going to pee standing up or sitting down. Your baby is also starting to develop the ability to move their eyes this week, although the eyelids still remain fused shut. What's more, they can make all sorts of fun facial expressions as they practice squinting, frowning, and grimacing. Cute development of the week: their little hands can grasp at things and they may already be sucking their thumb!

Everything is currently pretty quiet on the pregnancy front. I have felt Ladybug wiggle here and there. I woke up to shift positions last night and she moved after I got comfortable again. It was pretty cool. :) I definitely can't wait until I feel her moving more often and when the movements are definitely more deliberate. I would be pregnant all the time just to feel that new little person moving and grooving in there. Well, so long as I could skip the complications and whatnot. But heck, even with the complications I'd be willing to do it. :)

T-minus 4 days to the ultrasound. Rob and I are getting a little more worried as it gets closer and closer. I'm still maintaining my faith that God is here and everything will be okay. I just hope that His idea of okay and our idea of okay are the same thing. lol I think the scariest part of it all is that if anything has happened in the last 12 days we will see it. There will be no doubt that something has happened because it will be staring us in the face.

I was talking to one of my best friends on the phone the other night. After we had exhausted all other topics of conversation, we finally ended up on Ladybug and the "band". She asked me if I had thought at all about getting an amnio and things of that nature. Truth be told, I haven't given much thought to whether I would have an amnio or not. Would the results change anything? No. Would it help us to know exactly what we are dealing with? Maybe yes. Maybe no. It may just give us more to worry about in the end. Either way, we will figure it all out if and when we need to. No use in worrying about now because it won't change anything.

Ah...true love...

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