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My Breastfeeding Badges of Honor

Because I can...

11:18:00 PM Posted In , Edit This 2 Comments »

And here we have a picture of Gavin. Just because I can. He's playing a game that his godmother/aunt brought over for him and Elliott Richard. It's called "Piranha Panic". It's all marble based, which thrilled Elliott Richard beyond all belief! lol
Gavin has been playing with it all weekend. lol Please excuse his puffy eyes. He was "blessed" with my allergies and when we started to tear into the walls to get to "The Leak" it stir up all sorts of dust and fun things. Our allergies have been going crazy all weekend. :(

I had this all planned out...

7:40:00 PM Posted In , , , Edit This 1 Comment »
But you know what they say about the best laid plans...I don't remember what they say. But they say something. lol

Anyway, I had this all planned out. I took new pictures of my bed rest haven. I took pictures of my book/DVD shelf. I was going to take a page from Julie's book and label all the parts of the pictures. Show you exactly where everything is. I was even going to use pretty colors and text and arrows like Julie did. But I can't. I don't have a single program on this stupid laptop that will allow me to add text!!! Except for Paint and it's just a pain in the butt. So without my pretty text and arrows...here's my bed rest haven!

To the left, we have my book/DVD case. Top row: my DVDs. (We used to have a ton of DVD's until "The Great DVD Purge of 2006". Don't ask. lol) 2nd row: small paperback books that have been sent to me in various care packages. 3rd row: My beloved (well-worn) Harry Potter books (books 4 and 6 are upstairs - I'm not sure why) as well as the tall paperback books that have been sent to me. 4th row: on the left you can just see the edges of my magazines and puzzle books (also sent to me by my loving friends), on the right the few CD's I still actually own.

In the window you'll see my elephants. :)

My blankets on the bed. Along with Elliott Richard who is very much alive, just pouting because I wouldn't give him his way. :) lol Along with my lapdesk, laptop, pregnancy pillow and beanbag chair for added support.

To the right, we have my Sterilite box on the floor (filled with snacks - both healthy and not). On top of the box, we have my black bag, which holds all of my pregnancy journals and calendars and pens.

On the table, you'll see my sippy and Elliott Richard's sippy. Plus some other random things.

Those are my new and improved digs. :)

Gift Basket!

6:41:00 PM Posted In , , , , Edit This 1 Comment »

Did you know that you can ship a gift basket? Well, you can! On Tuesday Rob and I returned home from my weekly Dr. D appointment there was a box on the porch. I was confused at first because the return address label said it was from a basket company but surely you can't ship baskets. Ha! I was wrong! :) Of course, it was much more beautifully put together before I pulled everything out. And of course it didn't occur to me in my excitement to take the picture first. (lol) Inside I found biscotti, a little green photo album, a scented candle (which Rob promptly scooped up and lit), a loofah, and scented bath oils and things. It's all incredibly relaxing. And I just love it!

Thank you so much, Slade's Mommy! :)

I'm sorry. This dies here.

5:31:00 PM Posted In Edit This 5 Comments »
I don't know what to write here. I've upset Rob because of my last post. He wishes I hadn't posted it. I wish...I don't know what I wish. I wish that people could either say something nice or not say anything at all.

Did she mean something cruel by her comment? I don't know. It was her opinion. Right, wrong or indifferent, I should not have lashed out specifically at her in my last post. Odds were that she had not posted to Chrissy's blog. And as she states in her comments, she had never read Chrissy's blog until now. I'm sorry that I had to bring attention to Chrissy's blog in this manner. I'm sorry that I had lumped her together with the commenter on Chrissy's blog. I should not have done this.

Her comment upset me. I don't know why it upset me so much. I've always been the kind of gal who wears my heart on my sleeve. This applies even more when I am pregnant. I take things very personally. I always have. It hurt me when she insinuated that Tiny is not motivation enough for me. Gavin, Elliott Richard and Tiny are the reasons behind each and every thing I do.

I am very sensitive when it comes to my children. Rightfully so. I have spent years fighting on behalf of my children. I will spend the rest of my life fighting for them. But when I feel attacked as a mother, to me that just feels below the belt.

Would I have taken the comment any better if she had left her name? Probably not. It was the simple fact that I felt attacked and questioned in my motives.

In all honesty, what triggered that post was the post on Chrissy's blog. The trigger was not the comment left a week or so ago. Although what I should have done is asked her, if she truly felt that I seeking outside motivation? And why? Tiny is motivation enough for me. When Rob gives me my injections, I think of Tiny. I feel the movements and I think of how it's only a little pain for the good of our child. When I am in L&D feeling like a heel because my contractions aren't showing up on the monitor, I think of Tiny. I think of how maybe I think it's nothing but it could be something and I would rather know in time to stop it.

What I should have done was reacted intellectually and not emotionally. I should have seen the opportunity to try and make a new friend. Rather than twisting the opportunity to make an "enemy". That's not to say I have that much of an impact on her life. Merely that I didn't take the opportunity offered. I twisted it into something else.

I do not apologize for my thoughts or feelings. I do, however, apologize for lumping my anonymous commenter together with this other. I was wrong to do that. I was merely venting my anger at negative anonymous commenters. Those happened to be my two recent examples. However, we leave our blogs and ourselves open for comments and as such should be prepared for the good, the bad and the ugly.

This is not what I wanted for my blog. This is not the way I want to portray myself. Nor is this how I wish to portray my family. So I am sorry, Anonymous Comment Leaver. (Yes, I am aware that "leaver" is not really a word but it works here.) I would email you and apologize one-on-one but I do not have your address. So please, if you happen to read this, know that I am sorry for lashing out at you. I've handled this poorly and for that, I was wrong.

I've said my piece. As far as I'm concerned this dies here.

Dear Cowardly Anonymous Female

2:37:00 PM Posted In Edit This 2 Comments »
Dear Cowardly Anonymous Female Commentator,

You've been a busy girl. First, you had your hit and run on Chrissy's blog. Then you swung by mine to cast your negativity around. Granted, I asked for an opinion. You gave your opinion. However, you just couldn't resist leaving your scathing, "I, too, was on bed rest and my unborn baby was motivation enough." Well, this is for you. Because I can. Because Chrissy won't. Because this is my blog and I will not be silenced by the likes of you! (or anyone with similar motives to your own)

I'm sorry that it is so easy for you to do the Devil's work. I'm sorry that you seem to get a thrill out of posting mean and horrible things to people you don't know. Obviously the lesson of "if you don't have anything nice to say" was lost on you. I'm sorry that you are unable to be grammatically correct in your comments. What seemed so vitally important for you to share has now come across as rude, crude and unrefined. Not to mention uneducated. Not to say that you are uneducated, you just appear this way because of your total disregard for grammar and correct spelling.

I'm especially sorry that you leave your comments anonymously. I would so love to know you. To see your profile. Read your blog. I pray that you are only the serial negative comment leaver on you bad days. God-willing those bad days are few and far between. The world is ugly enough, it does not need your help. I pray that your heart finds peace. I pray that at the very least, you find the courage to at least leave your name on your negative comments from now on. Afterall, you are proud enough of the comment to leave it. Surely, you must be proud enough to sign your name and take credit as well.

Bed Rest ~ Day 34 Ahhhhh the Insanity!!!!

8:54:00 AM Posted In , , , Edit This 0 Comments »
I still have many more pictures to post. However, I wanted to give a brief update on things here.

Let's see...I didn't get any sleep again last night. I lost track of how many times Elliott Richard woke up. Mainly because he had kicked his blankets off - again.

My back is still killing me. Problem is that the position I found to lay in that doesn't hurt my back, gives me a headache and neckache. My sciatic nerve is all out of whack and causing me some major issues.

Rob had a guy out to check out "The Leak" last night and give us an estimate. Would you care to guess? Go on. Guess. How about $3800?! *ack* We are going to get some other estimates but I honestly don't know that they will be all that different. *sigh*

We had Dish Network out to set up our satelite yesterday. I find myself confused. With Time Warner Cable, we had Noggin 24 hr/day. However, with Dish Network, Noggin stops at 6:00pm so that they can run the tween/teenie-booper "soap operas". Why if it's the same channel is it different from one service to the next? And why in God's name do tweens/teenie-boopers need soap operas?! Have you ever tried to watch them? If not, I don't recommend it. Unless you like to lose brain cells purely by being annoyed into stupidity.

I'm thinking of starting an Etsy store for my cards. Rob always says I should write a book and sell my greeting cards. Well, the book is out of the question seeing as how I don't have any inspiration for a book at the moment. (Although this would definitely be the time to write it.) So I figured I would look into selling some of my greeting cards. I think they are pretty simple but everyone else seems to like them okay. I guess we'll just have to see. (Maybe I'll post some pics of the cards I have - like the graduation announcment/invite that I made my brother-in-law Tim. Then you guys can decide if I should persue the store or just continue making them for fun and friends/family.)

Other than that, my day is going to be filled with folding laundry and working on Rob's business website. Hopefully making some cards, assuming I can get Elliott to play along. lol

Ah the exciting life of the mother of two, pregnant with one stuck on bed rest. I'm sure y'all are on biting your nails with anticipation! lol

34 down ~ 101 to go

I *heart* surprises!

8:34:00 PM Posted In , , , , Edit This 2 Comments »

So over the weekend I received a pleasant surprise in the mail from my dear friend, Slade. I was so surprised and touched at her kindness. Rob was as well. This is Tiny's first official baby related baby gift. Rob and I haven't even had a chance to purchase anything specifically for Tiny. lol Her gift was so generous! She sent a green t-shirt for Gavin, which is his favorite color. He was so siked! She also sent the cutest set of pajamas for Elliott Richard that say "I like to collect bugs!", which are so fitting for our "Tiny Twitterbug". She also included two cards. One for me and one for Rob. (Poor Rob is so neglected these days.) He was so touched that she had remembered him, too. :) It was so cute when Elliott Richard became confused over the diapers. He couldn't figure out how we had diapers that weren't for him. lol And the penguin tubby-toy was intended for Tiny (Slade wrote "Tiny" on the package to clear up any confusion. lol), however, Elliott Richard felt it was his duty as the big brother to test it out. He approves. :) lol

Slade, thank you so very much! You truly are so a kind, generous and wonderful soul. I am lucky to have found you as a friend. *hugs*

(On a side and kind of funny note, I just ate one of the delicious Dove Dark Chocolates she sent me. For those of you who don't know, on the inside of each foil wrapper is a saying. The saying on my last chocolate said, "You're allowed to do nothing." lol If only they knew.)

Auntie Sharon's Surprise & A Little About My Fam

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My Mommy is one of 6, kind of like my hubby. She had 4 sisters and 1 brother. I love each of my aunts. Each of them has a special place in my heart for a different reason. (I'm going to have to go find pictures of my Aunties to post with this blog.)

My Auntie Paula is the oldest of the six. She is the sweetest, most down-to-Earth woman I've ever known. She works as a Court Services Officer. At least that's what I call her role based on my television legal lingo. :) She works for a judge here in town as his secretary and a little bit of everything else. Her special place in my heart is filled with memories of her scratching my back, arms and face until I would fall asleep. (When I'm really stressed I'll go to her and she'll still do this for me.) She took Gavin and I and allowed us to "hide" when we moved home after I left Nick. When I was married to and living with Nick, she was diagnosed with colon cancer. She handled it with such style and grace. I hope I am able to handle my life in such a way. She's caring, compassionate and so generous. She is an amazing woman and I feel honored every day to know her and have her as my Auntie.

Next in line is my Aunt Carol. Ever since I was a little girl, Aunt Carol has felt more like a friend than an Aunt. She's funny and gives amazing hugs! When I was a kid she lived "far away" (I was convinced that she lived like 3 hours away. In reality, she lived maybe an hour away. lol) so I didn't get to spend the night at her house as much as I would have liked. They lived in the country at the time and had gobs of land, which I thought was very cool. I remember once she got my cousin Sam and I gifts from Odd Lots. I was so impressed with Odd Lots I couldn't wait to shop there when I grew up. (lol) Sadly we still don't live "close" to one another. She's still about 45 minutes away so I don't get to see her as often as I would like. However, she does work in the hospital where I go to delivery my kids. Which usually means she gets to see them first. ;) lol She even got to see Elliott in the NICU. (I think. Those 10 days are kind of hazy.) She is super sweet and funny and affectionate and I just love her to bits!

My Mommy is the next in line. :) Since I'm writing about everyone else it only feels right to include Mommy. Let's see...my Mommy a wonderful mother. Although sometimes I don't think she believes this. She is such a peaceful and beautiful soul. All that I am that is hippy, I got from her, a fact she's proud of. My love for reading and books, I got from her influence. She always nutured my love of books, although at times she seemed confused by the fact that her tween/teenager would rather have books than anything else. (lol) She is an amazing grandmother to my children. She has a very special bond with Gavin. In part because she helped me to raise him until Gavin and I moved into an apartment with Rob. They also have a special bond because she was my birthing coach. She helped me to bring him into the world. And that is a gift I am forever grateful for. (I'm tearing up just thinking about it.) She is such a generous soul. She loves to bake (and is by far the best baker I've personally ever known) and she does so for birthdays for friends and family all the time. In all honesty, I don't know that I would be the woman I am today without my Mommy.

Half way there! :)

Fourth in line is my Auntie Sharon. The lady who started this whole blog/post in the first place. (lol) My Aunt Sharon and I tend to be a lot alike. We are both free spirits and very outspoken about our beliefs, opinions etc. We've had pretty similar life experiences as well. There has been a time (more than one) when we clashed horns and had a battle of the wills. (We're both incredibly stubborn.) Sometimes she just drives me insane but I still love her. I have a special place in my heart for her because we are so much alike. She has certainly be dealt an interesting hand in life but she just rolls with the punches. Some how she always seems to come out on top, at least to me. (lol) She also always seems to find a way to be generous and make others feel special.

This elephant paperweight is a gift from her. When I was little I loved elephants, I don't know why. She remembered that wanted me to have this paperweight. It's of what I like to think are a Mommy and baby elephant. Elliott loves it because of the bubbles in the glass portion, which is why it's up high in the window. This way I can enjoy it and he can't break it. (lol)

Fifth in the list of siblings is my Uncle Mark. This blog is all about the Aunts though so I guess I'll take about my Aunt Terri here. She is my Uncle Mark's wife. Honestly, I don't know her very well. She very sweet and kind. I know that growing up she was really close to my cousin Maddy. But I just never really got the chance to get to know her.

Last (but certainly not least) is my Aunt Susie. Susie is the youngest of the six. She is also a mother of seven. (Brave woman!) I honestly don't know how she does it all. Six of her seven children are still in high school through grade school. My Aunt Susie just amazes me (yes, they all amaze me in different ways) with everything she manages. All of the different balls she keeps up in the air. I have nothing but the utmost love and respect for her, as a woman and as a mother. She's just phenominal!

And those are my wonderful, amazing aunts. This started out as a blog about the beautiful, thoughtful gift my Auntie Sharon gave me and somehow it's morphed into this. :)

April's Craftiness

2:44:00 PM Posted In , , , , Edit This 2 Comments »
That's right folks, poo on the nay-sayers! (as Beth and Julie put it) I am going to post pictures of my care packages! :)



In this lovely package from April, I received a handmade blue and gray blanket for Tiny and two magazines for me. :) I just love this blanket! It is super, duper soft and snuggly. I can't wait to use it for Tiny.

And before the rumors start, blue is my favorite color. April and I have known each other for years and she knows this. Sorry folks, no hints at Tiny's sex here. ;)

If you like April's craftiness, she has a whole Etsy store full of crafty things she and her friend have made. Go take a gander! :)

*Tapes eyelids open*

2:21:00 PM Posted In , , , , , Edit This 0 Comments »
I'm fighting to stay awake. Literally. At this point I'm even considering taping my eyelids open. (Hense the title. lol) That is the only reason I am posting this now - to stay awake. (I apologize if this makes little to no sense.) Elliott Richard is anti-nap today and Rob is really struggling. So I need to stay awake. Here's the run down of Day...what is it now, 33?

I slept horribly last night. Elliott did not want to go to sleep last night. Then when he finally fell asleep at 10pm (2 hrs past his bed time) he didn't want to stay asleep. I was up with him every 10 minutes for about an hour before I cried uncle. Rob then brought Elliott to bed and the only way Elliott could find to be comfortable was with this head on my butt/hips. I woke up at about 3am in excruciating pain from sleeping in a contorted position. I tried to shift positions and get more comfortable. No luck.

So I woke up this morning with a migraine from lack of sleep and a horrible backache from sleeping funky. I killed the migraine with my medications. I can't seem to get rid of the backache for anything.

Then I spent the morning taking picutres and uploading them and whatnot. Which was a pain in the butt because my digital camera and laptop seem to be upset with each other. So that's been a struggle in and of itself. As soon as I'm finished and everything is all organized I'll post a bunch of picture posts/blogs.

The insurance company called. They are claiming that we should have had someone out here and had "The Leak" fixed within 3 days. If they come out and find mold, mildew, rotting etc. they won't pay for anything. She wanted to know why when we found the issue we didn't have it fixed on the spot rather than playing phone tag with our insurance agent. I would like to strangle this woman. Maybe because we aren't made of money? (Gasp!) Or because we thought this is exactly the type of situation that we've been paying for home owners for? (The nerve!) Or because we thought home owner's would cover it, we wanted to make sure we did things "the right way"? (How dare we!) Maybe we waiting because we didn't know what the heck to do? (Can you imagine?) Ooooo...I'm just so irritated right now. (I'd be angrier if I could stay awake and keep my eyes open. lol)

As much as I like our insurance agent, I hate State Farm's claims adjusters. It almost feels like when they look for claims adjusters, they advertise looking for the rudest, meanest people with the world's shortest tempers. (Nice, compassionate people need not apply.) I have yet to have a kind claims adjuster while dealing with State Farm.

Okay, now I'm so exhausted my eyes burn. Rob is on the phone with Uncle Rick and pacing. Oh to have a nap...*sigh*

Random Thoughts

11:41:00 AM Posted In , Edit This 0 Comments »
How desperate is Jaime Lee Curtis that she is endorsing a poo-regulating yogurt?

How do peanuts get salted by salting the shell?

Why if ABC, NBS, CBS and PBS are the universal stations nationwide, do I have to pay $5/month go watch them?

Why do they always say "the butler did it"? Why the butler? What's so horrible about this poor butler?

How do they come up with the names for cities? And who gets to pick the name?

Why is our country so litigation happy? When did life become about what we could get for free and who we could ruin to get it? Is this the new "American Dream"?

Bed Rest ~ Day 33 Let's do a quiz...

10:25:00 AM Posted In , , , Edit This 0 Comments »
I've found a new blog (I know, you're shocked!) that I love. I'm in the process of reading it from beginning to now, however, in the course of my reading she had this quiz posted. I've decided to steal it and fill it out for myself. I'm preparing an actual post here in a bit and I will formally introduce y'all then. :) Until then, here are my answers to the stolen quiz...

1.Grab the book nearest to you, turn on page 18 and find line 4.
Okay, I'm lazy and to get the book I would have to move the laptop and crawl to the end of my bed. So let's just pretend I don't have any books near me and since I'm on bed rest, I can't get up and get one. :)

2.Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. Do you catch air?
If I go straight out, yes all I touch is air. If I go out to the left and down, I touch my Heparin injection waiting for Rob to poke me.

3.What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Lazy Town.

4.Without looking, guess what time it is?
11:00 am

5.Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
10:56 am - It's lunch time and I'm starving!

6.With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Elliott Richard hopping/skipping through the house and laughing as he plays Sims 2: Castaway on my DS. Gavin playing Piranah Panic.

7.When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
I last stepped outside on Tuesday, April 8. I was coming into my house after coming home from my Dr. D appointment.

8.Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
I honestly don't remember.

9.What are you wearing?
My rapidly shrinking yellow "Please keep your order out of my chaos" t-shirt and my fuzzy red and white candy pajama pants.

10.When did you last laugh?
A few minutes ago.

11.What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Mint green paint, pictures of my family, a clock, a huge mirror and my security alarm keypad.

12.Seen anything weird lately?
Weird? I have two small boys...my life is nothing if not weird! lol

13.What do you think of this quiz?
It's not bad. It's killing the boredom a bit without asking incredibly personal questions.

14.What is the last film you saw?
Film as in physically IN the theater? Um...August Rush. Film as in on TV? I think I recorded Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone last week.

15.If you became a multimillionaire overnight, what would you buy?
A bigger safer brand-new house, a van, pay off my debts and start splurging on the family and everyone else who has helped/supported us over the past 7 years. (I would also probably spend some of it burying those who have made it their mission to "destroy our lives" in the past 7 years.)

16.Tell me something about you that I don't know.
I was in gymnastics for 8 years and I actually screwed up my right knee in a gymnastics meet. I'll have to have it replaced someday.

17.If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
I would take the children from abusive parents without regard for the parents - I would put the children first. I would also try my best to see to it that children without parents were paired up with a safe, loving set of parents.


18.Do you like to Dance?
I love to dance but I'm not very good. lol

19.Imagine your first child is a girl. What do you call her?
Caislyn Joy or Lorelei Rose

20.Imagine your first child is a boy. What do you call him?
Gavin Alexander :)

21.Would you ever consider living abroad?
Only if I could take my Mommy and Daddy with me. :)

22.What do you want GOD to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
I knew you'd make it. I've been waiting for you.

Momma said there'd be days like this...

7:58:00 PM Posted In , , , Edit This 0 Comments »
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Today has been...odd. Not good. Not bad. Just odd.

We had a visitor this afternoon. Her name is Annie and she's a part of the Help Me Grow program. Basically her focus would be Elliott Richard. She would come and hang out with him for a little bit, stuff like that. I know this probably doesn't make any sense but I think this is a good thing. Right now with everything that's going on with Gavin and what with me on bed rest, Elliott sometimes gets lost in the shuffle. I want him to have a little time set aside for him and no one else. He gets that with us but I just want something just for him. Annie is super nice and down to Earth. She's the visitor I referred to in my last post. She's the one who reminded me of why I started this blog.

Then Dad G and a friend of his who used to be a plumber stopped by to survey the damage and whatnot with "The Leak". It wasn't good. He said we should get it fixed ASAP if not sooner. Crap.

They left and I called Dr. D's office because I had my maintenance blood work done to check my clotting factors while on 5,000 units BID of Heparin. Apparently my numbers aren't where Dr. D would like would like them to be. *le sigh* So starting with my a.m. injection tomorrow I am now on 7,500 units BID. No more injections than before. Just more fluid to be pushed. (Ow.)

Rob called our insurance agent and asked if there was any way the home owner's would pay for the repairs. She called back and I spoke with her (Rob was trying again to get our switch to AT&T ironed out.) and asked a bunch of questions. In the end, we decided to file a claim and allow the claims adjuster to come out and check out the situation. There is a chance that insurance may pay for it all because it isn't coming from your typical leak under the sink that leaves some sort evidence as a red flag. So here's hoping that they will cover it and we can begin getting this taken care of!

To top off the day, Elliott Richard was not having bed time tonight. I don't know what it was but he fought me tooth and nail! I tried for an hour (from 8 to 9) and then gave up. We watched Noggin until 10 and then I tried again. He finally gave up at like 10:30. Insanity I tell you!

Other than that, it's life as usual. Whatever usual is anymore. Time for my shot. (Fun. Fun.)

25 weeks

7:53:00 PM Posted In , , Edit This 1 Comment »
What Tiny is up to this week: Your little grower’s physical proportions are evening out at this point and most of their remaining development will largely be weight gain and lots and lots of nervous system development. The good news is: if your child is born premature now they’ll be more likely to survive without too much trauma as their lungs began to produce “surfactant” last week, which means their tiny respiratory system is getting stronger with each passing day. Yes, now’s a good time for a minor sigh of relief and a quick pat on the back. All that hard work and conscientious living is really getting your child prepared for a healthy delivery. Keep up the fabulous work mama! This week they’ll be scootching slowly out of the old breech position and start rotating (already!) into a better position for exit during their birth. Their head and feet are slowly rotating so that the head is pointed down towards the birth canal. Time is short (or really long, depending on who you ask)—just (still!) 14 weeks left before you can go back to being a single-resident human.


I can't believe I forgot to post this for the past two days. lol So here it is, What Tiny's been up to this week. Tiny has been a busy little bean lately. I'm not sure how I feel about the whole "single-resident human" part. As crazy as this may sound, I'll really miss sharing my body with Tiny.

Bed Rest ~ Day 32 I've been thinking and Now it's time to share...

3:06:00 PM Posted In , , , , Edit This 7 Comments »
I'm trying to figure out what all I've updated you guys on. And what all I want to share...

I've been in a pretty bad funk the past few days. It's been a combination of things really. Between the shots daily (and weekly). The bed rest. The stress of not being able to help Rob. Now "The Leak". My ex-mother-in-law trying to have me thrown in jail. The list goes on and on. It was just more than I could handle at the moment.

My funk is slowly lifting. It kind of ebbs and flows. I figure by Monday I should be back to my happy, go-lucky, sarcastic self (Lucky you! lol) in spite of all the crap. (No pun intended but if you find it funny, by all means laugh. lol)

Honestly, a large part of what caused my funk is this blog. I had posted a blog asking for opinions on the fact that I was posting pictures of my care packages and gifts. That was my mistake. I should not have done that. In all honesty, I knew what I was doing when I posted it. However, I had the naive belief that everyone who reads this blogs knows me or has come to know me and knows that I'm not like that. I'm just very easily excited and I love to share. Obviously I can't physically share my gifts and goodies with anyone besides Rob and the boys. (Although I would if I could!) Posting pictures here was the next best thing in my book.

I was not asking for more gifts. Nor was I hinting that I need things to make my best rest worth while. My bed rest is worth while because it helps give Tiny the best start at life possible. As exhausting and stressful as bed rest is, if I could be pregnant and on bed rest and have it not effect the rest of my family, I would have more children after Tiny. Every day is worth it. Every night I pray to God. I thank him for this day, one more for Tiny to grow and develop. So please do not believe for a moment that I need gifts or care packages to make this time worth my while. That could not be farther from the truth.

I appreciate all of my gifts and care packages. Each and every one. I treasure them all. I keep the cards so I can show Tiny someday how loved and cherished and supported we both were. I keep track of every thing because that's the kind of person I am. If I didn't receive another gift or care package for the rest of my pregnancy, I would be okay with that. True, I would miss seeing the mailman with his confused look (lol) but I would be okay. I would still appreciate every one that we've received to date.

I've spoken with friends about these "issues" at great lengths lately. And I've decided that this is my blog. I will post what I feel comfortable with. If you feel that I'm asking for gifts and care packages, I'm sorry. That couldn't be further from the truth and my friends and loved ones know this. I will trust in that fact and trust in my friends a little more from now on.

I am proud of the love and support we've received. I'm proud of the fact that in this day and age when things are so technical and sterile, there are still people out there who believe in power of human kindness.

I am just as proud of those things as I am of the fact that people I'll likely never meet who pray for us. When I try and imagine all of the people who must be praying for us, some who tell us so and some who pray silently; it just floors me. It brings me to tears every time to know that all of those prayers are going up to God on our behalf. And I appreciate every prayer just as I appreciate everything else. The emails. The cards. The letters. The phone calls. The text messages. They all mean the world to me. I only wish there were a way for me to chronicle the prayers so that someday I might show Tiny those as well. I suppose I'll just show Tiny the story of my pregnancy and hope that the fact that I am able to do that will bare witness to all those prayers.

Please know, that I am not trying to start a war or crusade. I am simply trying to do what I set out to do when I first started this blog. Something I was reminded of this afternoon by our visitor. She reminded me that I had started the blog to be honest. To show people a glimpse into the life of a mother who lives so far outside the box that I can't even see the box anymore. I set out on this blogging journey to be honest with myself first and foremost. And to chronicle everything for Gavin, Elliott Richard and Tiny. That is what I am doing. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Please think of my blog as you would an AA Meeting (or any other 12 step meeting for that matter - and don't ask how I know what those meetings are like because that a whole different blog in itself lol)...

Please take what you like and leave the rest.

32 down ~ 103 to go

6:19:00 PM Edit This 2 Comments »
In a pretty bad funk. Not in much of a posting mood. Tiny is good. Slade, I now know you got your giving spirit. Will try to post more later.

Update on "The Leak"

10:14:00 PM Posted In , , Edit This 2 Comments »
My dad and I tore into the wall. The leak appears to be coming from the soil stack..
So as bad as my day was going it got much worse when we discovered it was sewage leaking from the second floor all the way to the basement.. It looks like this has been leaking for a really long time and we didn't know it..... We are not sure how we are going to approach this "little" project. It appears that they built the house around this pipe. Very difficult to get to....I will keep you all posted.....

It's been a pretty crappy day....

Enough is enough.

5:51:00 PM Posted In , , , , , Edit This 2 Comments »
Seriously. God could maybe trust me a little less. Rob too.

I'm having a difficult time believing "if he brought you to it, he'll bring you through it" this time around. As odd as it may sound, I had an easier time putting my faith in that statement when we were told Tiny had Amniotic Band Syndrome. Then it was blind faith I needed. Nothing else. I didn't need to figure out how we were going to pay for anything. Insurance would have covered whatever needed covered. I didn't need to worry about how others were going to help us because there wasn't anything they could do. I simply had to have blind faith that God would lead us all through and Tiny would be okay.

I can't do that now. Or I should be doing that now but I just don't see how. Dad G (Rob's dad) is here looking at, checking out, surveying the damage of "The Leak". Homeowners will not cover it because it is considered "maintenance related". Meaning we should have caught the leak we cannot see, nor hear and fixed it before the house began to mold, mildew, rot and generally fall apart. Homeowners was our last hope. There is no way for us to come up with the money for the basic repairs. And honestly, I don't know that it's even safe for us to be here.

Random Questions

3:03:00 PM Posted In , , Edit This 2 Comments »
I know a few of you have asked some questions. Only one is coming to mind though. lol So I'll answer it and if you want to ask some more...feel free. :)

Susan had noticed that my Bed Rest countdown is the same as the pregnancy countdown. Basically, I did that to make it easier for me. I don't know when I'll be released from bed rest. I was released at 36 weeks with Elliott Richard but he was born with premature lung disease, which then led to other problems. So I don't know if the goal is 37 or 38 weeks this time. I do know that it's questionable whether or not I'll make it that far so at this point, odds are that I'll go into labor before I'm released. But mainly I just went with my due date to help make the countdown easier for me. :)

Another Day....

11:01:00 AM Posted In , , , Edit This 4 Comments »
So last night I was doing some laundry... I noticed that the floor was wet. I had always assumed it was the washer. The drain over flows sometimes. I realized that it wasn't coming from the washer...I found a leak in the main drain line in the house. Now this plumbing is over 100 years old. I thought no problem, I will seal it and fix it later.

As I was sealing the drain line I started feeling drips on me. I looked up and the whole ceiling is soaked and dripping. I turns out that the water line for the 2ND floor bath has been leaking for God only knows how long... I looked in our hall closet and found the whole wall is soaked and covered in mold. We NEVER use that closet so I have no idea how long this has been going on.

I did find extensive damage and I am not sure how far it goes or where it is leaking from. My Dad is going to stop by tonight to check it out and see if we can fix it. With the house being so old it's hard to repair because everything is backwards..and very, very old..... There isn't even any water shut offs anywhere in the house. The person that plumbed this house IS AN IDIOT. You have to have water shutoffs to the first and second floor......We don't.....

I really don't need this right now....

Ah...true love...

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