Cheerio Confessions

I'm exhausted. I took a crappy nappy with Emmett John this afternoon. It didn't help. I had hoped it would at least help with the raging sleep deprivation migraine I've got going on. No dice.

Then Elliott Richard and I were eating my organic Emmett John Friendly Oreo-type cookies. He had the cutest little mustashe and gotee going on. I just had to take pictures. So I grab the camera and crouch down to get on Elliott Richard's level. As I'm crouching a stabbing pain shoots through my right knee and then my knee gave out. I fell backwards. The camera went flying.

Now my knee is all screwed up, again. (It had just started to heal from me screwing it up the night we got Abby.) And the camera is broken. I can't believe I broke it 4 days before Mr. Emmett John's First Christmas! *sigh*

The following words and phrases have brought readers to my humble blog:

trileptal accidental dose (Ask Jeeves) ~ Wow. Trileptal questions are still bringing readers to the blog. I feel a little better that I'm not the only one who handed out an accidental dose though. :)

trileptal complexion (Google) ~ I didn't know there was such a thing as a "Trileptal complexion". Interesting....

brie cheese (Google) ~ Ah...cheese...I miss cheese.

i believe that faith has brought us here, so we can be together girl- cherrio commercial (Google) ~ Even misspelled searches for cheerio commercials bring readers to me. :D

greeting cards to mommy and daddy (Google) ~ We've got all three of those things: mommy, daddy and greeting cards. :)

m&m facts (Yahoo) ~ I am 99% sure that this person didn't find what they were looking for. My M&M's are sweet but they don't have anything to do with the candies. Sorry about the confusion.

Mr. Emmett John has a future in the military. Interrogating terrorists. His specialty will be in the field of using sleep deprivation. I become more convinced of this as time goes on. I didn't realize how a kid could be a picky sleeper until Emmett John.

Because of his milk and soy allergies, if I have ANY milk or soy Emmett will wake up the next morning at 3 or 4am screaming. When I say ANY, I mean any. It's taught me to check labels 5 and 6 times so I can avoid that early morning wake-up call. 

If he is stuffy, he will sleep fine (stuffy and all) until about 4am (see a pattern yet?) and then suddenly he will wake-up screaming because he's stuffy. Now to me, he doesn't sound any worse at 4am than he did when we went to bed at 10pm. But for some reason he seems unwilling to deal with it anymore after 4am. 

And then, there was last night. Mr. Emmett John wasn't feeling good all day yesterday. However, when he was asleep is when he seemed the calmest and things were going pretty well for him. When he was awake, he was fussy and grumpy. You could just tell he was uncomfortable. So I figured when we went to bed for the night that he would sleep fairly well. Wrong. We went to bed at about 11pm. He was exhausted but wouldn't sleep. (I should have known then something was hinky.) At about 12:30am he finally fell asleep on my shoulder so we went to bed. He woke up fussing and then all out screaming by 3am. So he and I went downstairs so that Daddy and Elliott Richard could keep sleeping. He screamed and thrashed and thrashed and screamed until about 4:30-ish. At that point, I gave him some gas drops and Tylenol because I had exhausted all other options. Those helped him to calm down enough to fall asleep for brief period of time so long as he was on my chest. So I built a little fortress around us on the couch and dozed off and on while he slept for the briefest of periods. For the rest of the night, he would sleep for a bit. Wake up screaming. Nurse for a moment. Sleep for a bit. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Now it is 9:30am. I hope you'll excuse me if this post makes little to no sense; I am so beyond exhausted that I can't even see exhausted anymore. And now I'm off to try and accomplish something...maybe I'll wash some dishes. The laundry might be easier though. Or maybe I'll just pass out on the couch. Yeah, that's sounds like a better option.

I feel...unsettled. Like I want to blog but don't know what to say. I want to draw but don't know what to draw. You get the idea. I've been working on the whole Ancestry.com thing but I've hit a wall. My sister, Trisha, and I have been working to try and untangle our family tree without a whole lot of success. It's almost as if her maternal great-grandparents didn't exist. (I say her's and not our's because genetically they are our's, however, I wasn't raised with any emotional connection to them so to me they feel more like her's.) I can't even find evidence that her maternal grandmother's maiden name existed, ever. It's crazy. It's been nice working together with her on this project though. Plus I've been able to harass and stalk her (I use those terms affectionately of course.) while we work on it. After all, what good is a little sister if she isn't being annoying? (lol) 

No. No. No. Not that mob. I'm referring to the lynch mob that hunted me down at Gavin's school yesterday. Apparently, I've been missed. And I promised a post. So here it is. Please remember I promised a post. Not an award winning novel. What can I say, I'm exhausted!

So here's the run down:

• Emmett John now weighes 18lb 8oz.
• He is 27.5 in long, which means he grew .75 inch in a month!
• Gavin is holding steady with some pretty major meltdowns. He even threatened Rob one day and Elliott Richard the other. Not cool.
• I have blown out my right knee, which wasn't difficult since I blew it out 15 years ago in gymnastics. I keep debating calling the doctor.
• Elliott Richard is just as cute and sweet as ever. No real change there.
• Emmett John saw the ENT doctor. He scoped Emmett's throat and determined that the hoarsness is from the reflux. The scope seems to have flipped a switch in Mr. Emmett John though because he hasn't shut up since the appointment. lol (As I write this, he is in his swing talk and squealing his head off.)
• We've all been sick, except for Gavin, for the last month. We just keep passing it around. Right now is Rob's turn.
• In an attempt to work through my identity crisis I have been living on Ancestry.com. Rob even got me a one month subscription for Christmas so I can continue my work. I've tracked some of my ancestors back to the 1500's! Pretty cool. Very satisfying. Very addicting.
• And to wrap up my quick update in an attempt to hold off the mob, we got a dog. Yes, I know. This makes me certifiably insane. However, in my defense, we rescued a 2 year old dog. She's housebroken, knows most of the basic commands, is great with the kids and in my oppinion, absolutely adorable. Her name is Abby after my favorite character on NCIS. (Yes, I'm an NCIS nerd.)

And now my M&M's are calling/screaming for me. As are my dishes. So I am off.

Thirteen Things I Miss Most Since Going Dairy Free 1.... Cheese! I love cheese. I love cheese on foods, with foods or alone. I miss Farmer's cheese, Extra Sharp Cheddar cheese, Brie...you get the idea. 2.... Cheesecake! This may sound very similar to #1 but in fact it is very different and deserving of it's own spot. I love me some cheesecake! If you dare to doubt my love for cheesecake...well, shame on you! 3.... Sour cream! I put sour cream on almost as many foods as I pair cheese with. Tacos. French fries. Baked potatoes. I have been known to revolve my menu around what I can make to put sour cream on. 4.... Ice cream! Now the rice milk ice cream is nice. It's actually very good. However, there are only a few flavors. I miss mint chocolate chip and peanut butter-chocolate, just to name a few. 5.... Milk shakes! Again very similar to #4 but totally different and worthy of it's only slot. Sheetz has these frozen milk shake things that you put in their little mixer machine thing. You can decide between "thick" and "extra thick". I love them! They are the best milk shakes around and I miss them. 6.... Cake! I would about kill for a huge piece of ooey gooey chocolate cake with super thick chocolate icing right now. I'm just saying. 7.... Cookies! It is now officially Christmas Season and there will be Christmas cookies every where. I will not be partaking in any of them. :( 8.... Doughnuts! Rob offered to go get doughnuts for breakfast the other day. I was thrilled until I remembered I couldn't have them. We had eggs instead...so not the same. 9.... McDonald's French Fries! Did you know that they treat these delectable little snacks with some sort of milk derivative? Yup. In fact, most of McDonald's foods are treated with this same (or similar) product making my absolutely favorite fast food place a no go. :( 10.... Not having to read every label I come across. Okay, so this isn't a food that I miss but it is something I miss most since going dairy free. So in my book, it counts. Plus it's my blog and I'll list what I want to! :p (lol) 11.... Brownies! Ooey gooey double chocolate brownies....mmmmmmm... 12.... Pizza! It kills me to watch everyone else eating pizza. Probably more than anything else simply because no one likes cheesecake around here except me. Oh how I miss pizza. 13.... Cheesecake! Hey, it's my list and I'll list it twice if I want to!

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Come on down Elliott Richard! :)
Things in the land of Elliott Richard have been pretty calm, cool and collected.

We're still working on the potty training, while trying not to push too hard. Not an easy task. He tells us when he's wet. He adamantly denies when his pooped, although it feels like a game. He still loves his Big Boy Lightning McQueen pants (Pull Ups) but unlike most potty training kids he doesn't care if he uses them. Some nights he stays dry. Some nights he pees through his diaper. I'm starting to realize just how helpful day care was in potty training Gavin. {Even with Pam trying to undo it all. But that's for another post. I'm saying that a lot lately, aren't I?} Now I feel at a loss for what to do without the day care to help.

We've recently reinstated nap time for Mr. Elliott Richard. He wasn't taking naps for the largest time because it had become such a battle to get him to sleep. Plus, he was doing okay without them. He seems to be going through a growth spurt at the moment though because he's a major grump without a nap. Half the time he was falling asleep in the middle of whatever he was doing by 5pm anyway. All that accomplish was to seriously screw up bed time, which as any parent will tell you is very uncool. So Rob and I have reinstated nap time. The best part is the fact that to accomplish nap time, Emmett John and I have to lay down with him. So we get a nap too. {woo who!} I love nap time.

That's about the extent of the life and times of Elliott Richard. Oh and of course the facts that he got another hair cut and he's going through a growth spurt, which amounts to him eating anything that isn't nailed down. It's rather unsettling to watch him go from eating like a bird to eating like a horse virtually over night. It's kind of nice though because watching him eat like a bird is unsettling in its own right. I'll be sure to post pictures of his new 'do later.

I know y'all are dying to know the news on the Gavin front. I apologize for not posting this sooner. It's been a crazy week and I have been beyond exhausted.

Dr. H's office called me bright and early on Tuesday (last Tuesday the 18th - Yes, I've keen working on this post for that long. lol). Gavin's x-rays were clean and clear. They didn't show any lumps, masses or balls of string in his stomach. At least none that were showing on the x-rays, which is awesome. Dr. H said that he's not really concerned with it being a serious health issue, as far as it being a threat to his life and well-being. So for now he wants us to keep an eye on him. If Gavin develops projectile vomiting, a severe stomach ache or develops issues going to the bathroom we are to call him ASAP because those are signs and symptoms of a bowel obstruction. So far we are doing well. He's still eating his blanket, which isn't what we would like in a perfect world, but for now it is what it is. At least until we can figure it out and figure out how to stop it. So for now we will watch him and pray that it stays status quo.

Other than the Pica, things with Gavin have been...well, things with Gavin. A daily roller coaster ride that never stays the same from one moment to the next.

Monday I spent the day at school working with some of the other moms to prepare a Thanksgiving feast for the students. It was a huge success! And now Thanksgiving break has started. Making today Day 3 with Gavin home. In the grand scheme of things, in the land of living with Gavin, has it been the worst we've ever had? No, not by a long shot. It was just one more trying and exhausting day after another in a long line of trying and exhausting days. Complete with a very dramatic, loud and public meltdown at Patty's office. He kicked, screamed, punched and threw things. All of which probably sounded like we were trying to kill him to an outsider. Fun was had by all, can't you tell?

Thirteen Things I am Thankful for 1.... Rob, my darling husband. He is the love of my life. I can't imagine life without him. 2.... Gavin Alexander, my beautifully unique oldest. His Autism definitely makes life more complicated and difficult, however, I'm truly blessed to have him as my son. He has helped me become the mother I am today. 3.... Elliott Richard, my kind-hearted trouble-making middle baby. While every baby truly is a miracle, Elliott Richard is my first miracle baby after I was diagnosed as infertile. I am grateful for him each and every day. 4.... Emmett John, my snuggle bug baby. 5.... My pregnancy with Emmett John ended with a happy, healthy baby boy and absolutely no time spent in the NICU. 6.... Rob's adoption of Gavin finally went through - completeing our family and putting an end to 7 years of emotional warfare. 7.... Everyone managed, by the grace of God, to survive the last 7 years of legal Hell and emotional warfare. 8.... Rob is so understanding of my health and physical limitations. 9.... My friends and family. Each and every one of you who has been there, loved and supported us during our struggles. First, while we fought to protect Gavin. Now while we struggle to find our footing again. You've never judged or attacked, only shown us unconditional love and support to the best of your abilities. I will be forever grateful for all of you. 10.... All of your (my faithful blog readers) positive thoughts and prayers over the past year. 11.... Laughter. I may not laugh as much as I like lately but I'm grateful for the times I do get to laugh. 12.... Dr D. and his amazing nursing staff and all their medical expertise for making #3, 4, and 5 possible. Rob and I firmly believe that without these wonderful people Elliott Richard, Emmett John and myself would not be here today. 13.... And my completely shallow thing that I am thankful for, my cell phone. While it's the polar opposite of girlie and what I want, it is exactly what I need and I couldn't get along without it. (Thank you to my darling husband for forcing me to use it. Somehow you always know...which is really irritating sometimes. ;) lol)

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This week I definitely did not.... I did not.... realize that while I had only been cheating on my milk-free diet in the smallest, ney tinyest of ways that was more than enough to cause the 4:00 am wake up calls I've been getting from Mr. Emmett John. That would make me a mean mommy who had caused her baby's pain in a moment of weakness. I did not.... find Gavin jumping {like ceiling brushing jumping} on his bed at 5:00 am one morning. Since he's 8 years old {chronologically anyway, mentally he's more like 3 years old} he has obviously already learned that bed jumping is a bad idea. I did not.... then scream "Gavin Alexander what on Earth are you doing?!" scaring the pants off of him in mid-jump. Doing so would have increased both the danger and odds of him injuring himself, which we luckily managed to avoid. I did not.... begin insisting that Elliott Richard take naps {which is often a battle to accomplish} so that Emmett John and I could nap with him. That would be selfish and self-centered and a desperate act of an exhausted mother of 3. I did not.... secretly get excited that the paperwork for Emmett John's ENT doctor had come in the mail because I seriously love to fill out paperwork. Because that would be sad and probably even bump up my ranking as a nerd. {It goes back to the whole love of writing problem I have.} I did not.... use a website to rate the reading level of my blog. I also did not.... then have my feelings hurt when I learned that my blog is painfully simple and low on the reading level scale. And last but certainly not least, I did not.... spend more time marveling at my M&M's (Mini Miracles) than doing housework this week.

I hate winter. Don't get me wrong, it's beautiful and is home to some of my favorite holidays. However, it's also incredibly cold, which is not a good climate for those of us with fibromyalgia. Plus as beautiful as the snow and icicles are, they are Hell on the roads. Especially when there is currently a salt shortage which leads our "fearless leader" Governor Strickland to issue a statement saying that Ohioians simply need to learn to drive in the snow. {Jerk.} For his information, most of us know how to drive in the snow because we've lived here our entire lives. It's merely a matter of a little thing called "Public Safety" that we prefer to have the roads plowed and salted down. Silly Ohioians, wanting safe roads. {Pfth.} Looks like those of us without 4x4 vehicles are S.O.L. (Sorry Out of Luck) {That includes us, by the way.}

Anywho, back to the temperature and it's reeking havoc on my body. I am hurting. Big time. I slept horribly last night for two reasons. First, I was having some seriously bizarre dreams. The kind of dreams where you wake up, say "what the..." and then go back to sleep only to pick-up right where you left off. {I hate that.} Second, I kept waking up in excruciating pain. It was next to impossible to find a comfortable position and believe me when I say I tried. Lucky for me, I have about the best husband in the world. When Elliott Richard woke up at 4:00am but Emmett John didn't, Rob got up with Elliott Richard and left us to sleep in! {Woo who!} Granted, I'm not sure that 7:30am classifies as "sleeping in" but I'll take what I can get at this point. {lol} I had hoped the extra sleep would help to ease the pain. Unfortunately, it didn't. I still woke up in excruciating pain and with a migraine to top it off. Even after taking two extra strength Tylenol and a 3 hour nap with Elliott Richard and Emmett John; I still feel as if someone beat me with a baseball bat while I slept. Needless to say, I'm a tad grumpy today.

Today is my little sister, Jenn's 18th birthday. {Okay, technically she's Rob's little sister and my little sister-in-law. We choose not to use the in-law part though.} We are heading over to Mom and Dad G's for a birthday dinner to celebrate. First, we have to go shopping though. While I can't partake in the dinner {We are bringing Emmett John approved food from Burger King for me. Yum.} I'm still really looking forward to hanging out with the whole family. I just love these family dinners. {Although between you and me blogosphere, I wish people weren't freaked out by my nursing Emmett John. But that's another post, for another time.}

Well, we're off to party. Emmett John has been fed. And I hear a family debate brewing. :) I'll be back later with updates on the family.

{Ever notice how when you start a blog, get a rhythm going and then have to stop you can't quite get that groove back later? I hate that.}

I needed some pajamas to wear. Daddy offered his pajama pants and t-shirt. What wife can refuse her hubby's comfiest clothes? (lol) So I am wearing Daddy's comfy pajama pants and t-shirt. Elliott Richard is less than pleased with this arrangement.

Elliott Richard: Mommy, dose are Daddy's pants!

Mommy: Yes, they are.

ER: Take dem off!

M: Daddy said I could wear them.

ER: No! Take dem OFF!

M: Daddy, can I wear your pants?

Daddy: Yes, Mommy.

ER: Daddy, you wear Mommy's pants too?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Daddy has an XBox 360. On his 360 he has what Microsoft calls "Arcade Games", which are games that you can purchase on the XBox Live network and download. Elliott Richard is obsessed with one called "Marble Blast" where you control a marble and have to navigate through these courses. Unfortunately, Daddy was working on the computer. This is the conversation that followed:

Elliott Richard: I play Marble Bast?

Daddy: After Daddy is finished working.

ER: I know! I play Marble Bast. *points right index finger to the sky* Perfect idea!

Thirteen Random M&M Facts 1.... All 3 boys were born on even numbered days (18, 4 & 26). 2.... All 3 boys were conceived in odd numbered years (1999, 2005 & 2007). 3..... All 3 boys were born in even numbered years (2000, 2006, 2008). 4.... They were born on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday (so every other day) respectively. 5.... From induction to delivery I was in labor for 15 hours, 10 hours, and 10 hours. 6.... I was an odd numbered age at the time of each birth (19, 25 & 27). 7.... There are 6 years, 1 month, 12 days (or 2232 days) between Gavin and Elliott Richard. 8.... There are 8 years, 5 months, 8 days (or 3078 days) between Gavin and Emmett John. 9.... There are 2 years, 3 months, 23 days (843 days) between Elliott Richard and Emmett John. 10.... Gavin's name was picked out at 20 weeks. Elliott Richard's name was picked in shifts - Richard at 20 weeks and Elliott at about 30 weeks. Emmett John's name was picked out 24 hours (almost to the minute) before his birth. 11.... Emmett John was the earliest and smallest at birth. He is also the longest and heaviest at 4 months (3 months adjusted) old. 12.... Gavin was the longest at birth (21.5 inches). Elliott Richard and Emmett John tie for second place (19.5 inches). 13.... Gavin was 4 days late. Elliott Richard was 22 days early. Emmett John was 27 days early.

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Just for fun. Swiped from Katrina. It's actually pretty accurate.

It's Wednesday, the week is officially half over. So let's do a quickie...a quick loose-end wrap up that is. ;) lol

I can't wait for the weekend to get here. I love Friday to Monday because we don't have any appointments. Then between Tuesday to Thursday we are hammered! So I live for the weekends. (lol) Next week is Thanksgiving break at school. They only have school on Monday, which I will spend at school helping to cook Thanksgiving dinner for the students for lunch. So it's likely going to be a long week next week.

I'm thrilled to inform you that the Twins are both officially healthy again! I spent Monday morning scrubbing our Mudroom and making it fit for a sick kitty. So Cosmo had his own apartment for a while complete with room service! (lol) I got his pad all decked out for him and then Gavin and I stopped by the local chinese restaurant on our way home from school to pick up a pint of plain white rice. Once he ate that he seemed to make a complete turn around. Now all three of our kitties are back in the general population of the family. :) The added bonus being the complete lack of poo dribbles all over my house. :) (Woo who!)

The bane of our neighborhood existence is now GONE! (Double woo who!) There was a house the was once a part of our neighbor's Ron and Herman's house. Then when the city made our street wider they made the owners at the time remove a wing and relocate it. Well, it stood literally 6 feet from our garage. The people who used to live there...well, it was bad. They abused their dogs, which led to many calls to the dog warden and Humane Society from me. They abused each other. (One of our first nights here we had to call the cops because one of the daughters was fighting with her baby-daddy and he was brandishing a gun!) It was just a nasty situation. They were foreclosed on a few years ago. Then an attorney bought the house and left it empty. Well, transients were sleeping in it and it then someone has been setting empty houses fires lately, so we finally got the city to agree to destroy it. Yesterday while Gavin, Emmett John, Grandma G and I were with Dr. H the city finally came in and started the demo. They are wrapping up today, which is awesome! If someone had set fire to the house it was so close to ours that we wouldn't have stood a chance. It's kind of freaky though because they are breaking up the foundation and a concrete slab on the back of the lot next door so our house keeps shaking. It feels like they are nudging our house with the construction equipment. Rob took some video for me so I'll have to pick one and post it later. :)

I thought I had more to update on but I can't remember anymore right now. I still haven't heard from Dr. H's office but I will be sure to update when I do. I think I'm going to go lay down now...Mr. Emmett John got sick this morning and I'm feeling pretty nauseous myself. Ick.

This is Mr. Emmett John to a T! lol

So we left Dr. H's office and went into the basement of the building to their Radiology department. Mom G hung out with Mr. Emmett John. We waited for maybe 5-10 minutes before the pager (like they use at popular restaurants) went off. I went back with him but then the Radiology tech kicked me out of the room. Gavin said he was okay with me leaving the room, so I went. Before I left I explained to him what was going to happen. He took one look at all the big tubes and whatnot coming from and going to the x-ray machine and asked if we were going to suck his stomach out of his body to take it's picture. (God love him.) I then explained again what would happen and tried my best to assure him that we were not going to suck his stomach out to take it's picture. I was an absolute nervous wreck while they were in there but Gavin did beautifully. He told me later that he was still a little scared about the whole stomach sucking thing but after the first x-ray (they took 2) he was okay. :)

Now we wait. As I said before, Dr. H said he will call me tomorrow and give me the results. If there is something there, we will formulate a plan of attack. If the x-ray is clean, we will just keep an eye on Gavin. If he gets worse, we will obviously call Dr. H back. So now we play the waiting game. Fun. Fun.

I just want to say that I am so incredibly proud of Gavin. Dr. H had about a half dozen newborn patients come in while we waited which threw his schedule off in a big way so we ended up waiting for like an hour in the waiting room. Gavin almost lost it a few times but for the most part he held it together. When we saw Dr. H he answered his questions to the best of his ability and he held it together. The x-rays went far better than I had even dared to hope for. It felt as if I had a hybrid of Gavin-before-Autism and Gavin-with-Autism. His answers and many behaviors were very Autistic. But the manner in which he handled the day was very unlike Gavin with Autism. It was nice and I am so proud of him.

Dr. H came in with a med student. We talked. He cracked jokes about how my kids are on "very short list" of super difficult cases. (lol) He said hi to Mr. Emmett John. Then he checked out Gavin. Dr. H said his tummy felt fine. He sent us downstairs for the x-ray. If the x-ray doesn't show anything, then we'll keep an eye on him and report back if there's any change (ie. Vomitting, stomach ache, potty issues etc). If the x-ray does show something, well then the ride will get a whole lot bumpier and grumpier. Dr. H said we would form a plan of attack then if need be. So x-ray today. Phone call from Dr. H with the results tomorrow.

Hopefully Gavin does okay in the x-ray. I'll be sure to let y'all know.

We sat in the waiting room for about 45 mins. Now we're in the exam room. Today seems to be the day for newborns...teenie, tiny, sleepy newborns. I can hear them all screaming. Emmett John is content for now. Mom G is with me to help with Emmett John. Thank God for her. And the wait continues...I'll update when I have something new to report.

Didn't God see my white flag? Doesn't he understand that I can't possibly carry anymore? Can't he see how much pain I'm in? Hasn't he noticed how I'm buckling under the weight of all I carry now? Can't he see how much I'm struggling? How little sanity I have left? My patience is gone, too. Can't he tell I feel utterly alone? That I feel as if everything I touch falls to pieces. Can't he hear me screaming for him? Why doesn't he answer?

All I've ever wanted, ever since I can remember, was a family. The stereotypical American dream...a house, a husband, a cat and a dog, 2.5 kids. Granted I have .5 more kids and I traded the dog for 2 more cats than the stereotypical American dream but you get the point. Now that I have want I wanted, I don't know if I was up for the challenge.

I've read the poems about being a parent to a child with "something more". I've heard the euphemisms. It's all crap. Complete and utter crap. I didn't plan a trip to Italy and end up in Holland. I am the mother of a child with special needs. Technically, if there is something more complicated than special needs, that would probably fit better. So far Gavin's laundry list of diagnoses are:

Asperger's/Autism
PTSD
ADHD
Bi-Polar
OCD
Sensory Integration Disorder

And now it has come to our attention that Gavin may also have Pica. Apparently he has been eating toilet paper and the stitching on his comforter. Last night he came downstairs and asked us if his gums were bleeding. I told him no and asked why they would be bleeding. He cheerfully informed me that he sometimes cuts his gums when he's eating his blanket. So we had the food vs non-food conversation. During which I asked him why he would eat toilet paper and his blanket. He said because it tastes good and we don't feed him enough so he eats these things.

Now I don't owe anyone an explanation on this matter, however, I will offer one. First of all, we do feed Gavin enough. In reality he eats more than me, the nursing 28 year old grown woman. Also because of his Autism and various mental disabilities he does not possess the ability to self-regulate so we have to limit his access to food. We have tried in the past to allow Gavin to eat until he feels he is full. What ends up happening is he eats until he vomits. Then after he vomits, he tries to go back and eat some more. So we cannot allow him to attempt to self-regulate during meal times. We make sure that he at least gets all of the suggested values on the food pyramid everyday. So please, rest assured that Gavin is getting plenty to eat.

I checked his comforter last night to see which part of it and how much is missing. All of the "decorative" stitching that holds the center of the comforter together, is gone. He's eaten it. The fact that he's eating the toilet paper actually solves a mystery Rob and I have been pondering for a while, where does all of our toilet paper go. Now Gavin believes he's been eating his comforter for 2 years, however, I know that the last time I washed it (maybe a week or so ago) all of the stitching was there. Just to give you an idea of Gavin's mindset about this whole situation, while I was checking his comforter last night Gavin asked me if I would be replacing it. I told him no. Then I aksed, "Why would I?" His response, "Because this one is almost gone." Yup, he expects us to help him continue this behavior. (Oy vay.)

Obviously it's not a good thing that Gavin is eating non-food items. This is new territory for both Rob and myself so the first thing I did was call Patty. She said that contrary to what Gavin is claiming, she does not believe that we are not feeding him enough. She has seen his inability to self-regulate and as such trusts that we are feeding him plenty. She said that us not feeding him enough is an excuse. She doesn't have a lot of experience with Pica so she suggested I call Dr. R and Dr. H and ask them for their thoughts. So I called both of them and left messages with their nurses. Dr. R said Pica is more of a physical, developmental disorder and we should call Dr. H. Then Dr. H's nurse called back. He wants to see Gavin tomorrow (Tuesday) morning and then he will likely refer us for an x-ray. Dr. H wants to make sure that the string Gavin has eaten hasn't formed a solid ball in his stomach because if it has and it tries to make it's way through his system in one piece it will likely cause a bowel obstruction. And so that is where we are now. (By the way, it's 8:30am on Tuesday now because I had to take a break last night when my laptop died.)

In 2 and 1/2 hours I will pack up Gavin and Emmett John. We will pick up Grandma G and head to Dr. H's office. While we are there I will change Gavin's name! (Yay!) Then our morning of ultra-fun, super cool doctor's appointments and tests will begin. (That was sarcasm by the way.) I will update from my phone on Twitter while we are gone and if I get a chance I'll post updates to the blog as well.

Prayers and positive thoughts would be much appreciated.