My Breastfeeding Badges of Honor

Bumped once again....

4:20:00 PM Posted In , , , Edit This 1 Comment »
Well it appears that there was another "Mix Up" with the doctors today. We are supposed to see Gavin's therapist tonight but guess what, someone took our time slot again. This is happening all the time. Our last appointment was canceled at the last minute and we just got the call that this one was also canceled.

I would like to know how it is we are supposed to get help when we have no one left to help us. It will most likely be another month before we can get in again......

I am so close to giving up right now. Maybe we aren't meant to get through this because we have yet to catch a break. And that is the truth. We never catch a break. It's one nightmare after another.

We desperately need help with Gavin and we aren't getting it. Our parents help by taking Gavin and we are very grateful but that doesn't fix the problem. We need help living with Gavin. We need to know what to do with him. We are COMPLETELY LOST...and COMPLETELY OVERWHELMED. I don't think anyone really gets that....

Gavin's therapist is also supposed to broker a mediation with Lizze's ex-mother in law in an attempt to get her to she how much damage she is doing and once again try to resolve this peacefully. We are running out of time to deal with this and I have no patience left.

We are using the very best of the best when if comes to Gavin's doctors but that also means they are in demand. We don't pay cause we have no money and Gavin's father won't provide health insurance for him. Gavin is on one of the Medicaid HMO's and some of his doctors will not take it. So I believe everything comes down to money. Those with it get what they need and those without get pushed to the back. Don't get me wrong his doctors are great and we are grateful that they have taken him on under these conditions but we still feel lost. I truly believe if we had the money this court stuff would have been done long ago but we don't so we keep getting dragged through eh mud over and over again. We have no idea what to do.

Today we cried.....

12:35:00 PM Edit This 2 Comments »
We all know that Gavin is "Special". We know that he lives in his own world away from the rest of us. We just didn't realize how far away his world really is.

We have come to accept that Elliott and Gavin probably won't ever have a relationship in the way that most brothers have with each other.

Today Elliott had bumped his hand. I kissed it to make it better but that wasn't really what he needed. Elliott saw his big brother Gavin coming down the steps to get some more water. Elliott ran over to Gavin and was almost crying to him that he had a boo boo. He asked Gavin to kiss it and make it better. Gavin pushed him aside and walked right by. Elliott then ran after him begging him to kiss his boo boo. Elliott even said "please" which he rarely ever says but Gavin ignored him. Gavin started back up the steps like Elliott wasn't even there. By this time Elliott was desparatly pleading with him to kiss it and make it better. Gavin returned to his room without any thought to his little brother. Elliott sat down on the step and started to cry the way a 2 year old cries. Then he slowly walked over to us with his head hung and climbed into Mommy's lap and just snuggled. We both had tears streaming down our faces and we asked him if we could kiss it and make it better. Elliott just quietly wispered Gavin.

At that very moment we realized just how hard this is on Elliott. Gavin isn't to blame for this becasue it's not his fault but never the less it impacts all of us.....It impacts all of us in a very real way....

Ah...true love...

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