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My Breastfeeding Badges of Honor

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Waiting for a rm. I may be leaking fluid. Please pray that I'm wrong, that Tiny is safe & sound & no cervical change. <Lizze :)>

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On our way to L&D. Will update later. Pray! Pray! Pray! <Lizze :)>

Bed Rest ~ Day 14 TWO WEEKS DOWN!!!

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More crazy pregnancy dreams last night. I hate when I can't even tell where they are coming from. Like my dreams I posted about...when was that? Yesterday or the day before...something like that. Those dreams probably stem from the nagging fear that I have that I'm over analyzing everything little thing because I'm terrified I'll miss the big stuff. The memorial service dream...well, I've had similar dreams for the past 6 years. Logically, I know that my Granny died 6 years ago. Emotionally, I keep maintaining the tinest shred of hope that it was all a horrible nightmare. But last night's dreams...I'll be darned if I can figure out where they came from.

My first dream was something to do with my best friend from high school. Rob and I were at her house only she was living with her dad. I was just odd. I can't remember much of it. Then we left her house and Rob disappeared. I was me only I looked like someone else and I was trying to sneak into some top secret business. I was getting away with it for a while and then they caught me. But I got away. (I'm just that good! lol) So I ran from the top secret business and end up at McDonald's with a job a bartender! lol I was actually pretty good too.

That's all I remember. They were so odd. I wish I could remember all the details but I can't. I think the McDonald's part was my favorite. lol

Now before I go about my morning routine of eating breakfast and working on cross stich projects, I feel I must introduce you to another new blogger friend. :)

Julie ~ Julie is married to Bob and currently pregnant with their first child. She and I actually share a due date, which is always fun. Julie is also currently on bed rest (again, which is always fun). Julie is...I just feel a connection with her. Therefore it is my duty to introduce you to Julie and her blog! :)

Go! Read! Comment! Pray! :)

14 down ~ 121 to go
2 weeks down ~ 13 to go

Bed Rest ~ Day 13 I don't know how they do it.

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I hate bed rest. I hate everything about it. From being tied down all day and night. To the needle sticks. (Did I mention that I was shaking during my morning Heparin shot today? Yeah, that hurts. Don't try it.) Rob says I take it all like a champ. Externally, maybe (although doubtful but whatever). Internally, I'm a big baby. I clutch whichever hand isn't attached to the poked arm closed so tightly that my fingernails leave grooves in my palm. And the only thought in my head during the stick is, "I'm doing this for Tiny."

Every sacrifice I make today, tomorrow and everyday for the next 4-5 months (not to mention the rest of my life) will be for Tiny. And I'm happy to do it all but deep down (or just under the surface, depending on the day of the week) I'm absolutely terrified by each and every change in my body. "Was that something to worry about?" "When was the last time I felt Tiny move?" And I know that if anything were to happen to Tiny, especially while I'm pregnant, I would fall apart. I don't know how I would handle it. I don't know how I would survive. But there are women out there, strong women who handle it. Who make it. Who put my injections and testing and blood draws to shame. These women are...there are no words to do them justice. And I don't know how they do it.

If you pray, please add these women and their families to your prayers. Please pray for peace. Peace of mind. Peace of spirit. Simply peace. They deserve that much (and honestly, they deserve so much more). Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers. (The paragraphs under my brief descriptions are direct quotes I have taken from their blogs.)

Chrissy ~ Wife to Vinnie. Mother to Dominic, Mya and Eva Janette. Eva Janette was born on Monday, March 17, 2008 with Trisomy 18.

Peacefully from my chest to His arms and then to grandma Janet's @ 2:57am. She indeed made it Home for Easter! Her Home! We walked thru the front door of our home at 5:27am indeed a family of 5! Thanking Jesus for the time we had! 5 whole days 18 whole hours 10 whole minutes She has been healed and made WHOLE! And all in His timing!
Posted by Chrissy at 6:47 AM 51 comments


Yvette ~ Wife to Trayc. Mother to Tanner, Tayden and Tristan. Tristan Asher was born on Monday, December 3, 2007 with Trisomy 18.

Thank you to everyone who has commented on our blog since Sunday. We are overwhelmed with the amount of prayers and support for our family in the loss of our sweet, precious little boy, Tristan. They are being felt and are such an encouragement to us as we are being faced with the saddest and most difficult days of our lives. We are okay though and so is Tanner. We will post a more detailed account of what happened on Sunday in the next few days as we have been so busy with plans the past 2 days.How do I say this was totally unexpected and yet it wasn't. Tristan has been doing so good and had a great day on Sunday right up until 4:20 when his apnea monitor went off and then seconds later his heart monitor went off - THE HEART MONITOR HAS NEVER GONE OFF BEFORE!!! He went down quickly from there. I was on my way home from the store (15 min. away) and got home at 4:35 pm, Trayc handed Tristan to me and he passed away a mere 5 minutes later at 4:40 pm. Straight from my arms to Jesus arms.Please continue to keep us in your prayers as we have the "Celebration of Life" service for our little boy - We had 56 precious days!!!We love you all,The Hostetter Family

Posted by Yvette at 4:30 PM 78
comments



Susie ~ Wife to Matt. Mother to Oceana and Joshua. Joshua was born on Monday, January 7, 2008 with an encephalocele - a neural tube defect - that has left a hole in his skull. His brain has grown out through the back of the skull into a membrane-covered sack.

Joshua was promoted to Heaven this morning around 3am. He went peacefully. It was good to know he never struggled, never needed morphine, and was with us to the end. He slept between us last night and we are still saying out goodbyes. 67 beautiful days and a bonus 7 hours.

Posted by Susie at 10:26 AM 256 comments


I don't know how these women do it.

***I want to be sure to mention that, unfortunately, I realize there are many more stories such as these out there. There are many more blogs. These are only 3 of them. They happen to be 3 of the blogs I frequent quite often. That is why they are mentioned here and the others are not. Although I may not read the other blogs or even know of their existance, I don't know how those women do it either. So even though we do not know them, if you've got a second, throw a prayer up to God on behalf of all the mothers we do not know but he does.***

Bed Rest ~ Day 13 Stick a fork in me...

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I'm done. *sigh*

I did exactly as I was told. I took a tiny shower this morning and got dressed. I stayed on the couch until it was time to go. Then I got in the car and stayed there until we got to Rob's Aunt Carol and Uncle Rick's. Once there I went inside and sat in the most comfortable LazyBoy recliner ever. We left. Picked up Gavin at my Auntie Paula's, where I stayed in the car. And came home.

To me, it felt like nothing more than a few potty breaks with a change of scenery. To my body, it was apparently much more. I'm super crampy with tons of pressure, which is not good. On the bright side, I got out, which isn't likely to happen again soon. And Tiny has been moving and grooving like crazy! Even as I type this, my stomach keeps bouncing up and down. lol

It was so nice to get out of the house and see someone else's four walls though. Everyone was really understanding of the fact that I couldn't get up or do anything. Kate took Elliott Richard for a little while before the get-together. Then she took him to Aunt Carol and Uncle Rick's. She even helped to take care of both Elliott Richard and me while we were there. Overall, it was nice.

Everyone was asking what Tiny's sex is. I didn't tell. Grandma Gene kept trying to trick me by asking what color we are going to paint the nursery. And of course others were only interested in trying to find out Tiny's sex. *sigh* Someday they'll figure out that the more they push and the less interest they show in me or the pregnancy as whole, the less likely they are to find out Tiny's sex.

The boys made out like bandits. Grandma Gene gave Gavin a bank that is shaped like a soccer ball and when you put money in it, it plays a song. Elliott Richard ended up with it though because Gavin would have ended up throwing it around or using it as a typical ball. They both got CD's with kids songs on them. It will be nice to have some new CD's in the car besides Veggie Tales "Boyz in the Sink".


Aunt Carol also gave me the book, "Eat Pray Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert.


And now I'm just going to camp out on my couch for the rest of the night and pray that the pressure and cramping goes away.


13 down ~ 122 to go

Happy Easter!

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T-minus 1 hour until my repreive begins! Woo whoo!

Today has been...interesting. The boys woke up at about 7:30am. The "Easter Bunny" had hidden the baskets and 3 eggs each for the boys, all in plain site. Green up high for Gavin. Blue down low for Elliott, to avoid any confusion. They found their eggs and then their baskets. It sometimes amazes me just how different my boys are.

Gavin struggled to find his eggs. Elliott zipped from one to the next. Once he found his basket, Gavin shrugged it off. The thrill of the hunt was over and he walked off to play with his toys. Elliott found his basket and sat down to inspect the contents. He looked at the stuff on top and chose his first piece, then his next piece. He would have gone for more but we removed the temptation. It's times like this that it is glaringly obvious to me, just how different my boys really are.

Tiny has been pretty quiet today, which is unnerving for mommy. I drank cold water. Ate some dark chocolate, Tiny's favorite. Nada. Finally, I went for broke...I laid on my belly. Tiny hates that. lol But it got a bunch of bomp, bomp, bomps...so whatever it takes. Ever since then, I've been getting kicked and bomped all over the place. I think Tiny is staging a protest to prevent me from laying on my belly again. Again I say, whatever it takes.

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glitter-graphics.com

Blogger hates me!

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I had a blog all typed out. I just needed to add to it a little bit but Elliott Richard desperately needed to go to bed, so I saved it and then accidentally closed IE. Now, it's gone. *Poof!* How infuriating!

Oh well, that post will have to wait now. Because it took much effort to get it done the first time and I don't have the energy to do it again. Pfth! So we will move on to my next post idea...

So these are some random memories I've had going through my head the past few days...

~Back in 1997, I had my first (and last) AOL account and my very own desktop (thanks to my boyfriend at the time). One night I was cruising the AOL chat rooms and I don't remember what room I was in but I started talking to this girl. It was a very deep, very existential conversation about...toothpicks. Yup, that's right, I said toothpicks. I can't remember the conversation only that it was about toothpicks and I felt very mature to have had such a deep, existential conversation about them. lol

~One summer when I was maybe 6 or 7, I was spending the day at my Auntie Paula's hanging out with my cousins. Well, Maddy was out riding her bike and something happened that caused her to flip over her handlebars. She skinned her knees and was pretty upset. I remember walking her back to the house and struggling to handle both Maddy and the bike. (It didn't occur to me to leave the silly bike and come back for it later.)

~I used to ride to Kidron with my Granny (Grandma Miller) to go to the flea markets there. We would always stop at McDonald's on our way out of town. She would get her coffee and I would get mine (hot chocolate).

I'm not sure why these memories have been running through my head. But they have. Hopefully now that I've shared them with you, they'll leave me alone. lol

Bed Rest ~ Day 12

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You know it's so frustrating to be in bed, half asleep and get a dozen new ideas for blogs - really good ideas - only to wake up in the morning and have forgotten everything except the fact that I thought of them.

I had crazy pregnancy dreams last night. The first dream I kept going into L&D saying I was in preterm labor and begging the staff to help me. The kept blowing me off so they could have big holiday parties. Rob was too busy watching television in the family waiting area to be of any help. And our families were there but kept telling me I just wanted attention, that there wasn't really anything wrong with me or Tiny. I finally got one of the interns/residents to take me semi-seriously but he refused to discuss anything with Dr. D. I told him he would under no circumstances be "catching" Tiny. So he had better call Dr. D or I would be delivering on my own. This upset him because he "only needed one more unassisted live birth to become a doctor". I told him to go find some other pregnant woman to do his "homework" with.

Then I was being dragged out of my L&D room to attend a memorial service for my grandfather. Half way through his ceremony, they began one for my grandmother who had passed away almost 6 years ago! They kept asking me to write a note to her. But every time I would try, the space I had to write it would shrink. Once it got to be small enough to fit inside a locket, I gave up. I just remember being so confused. I couldn't understand why if she had been alive for the past 6 years no one told me. So I would start to cry (I'm actually tearing up just thinking about it...I miss her like crazy.) which would jump start my preterm labor. Then the whole dream would start all over again.

I swear I hate pregnancy dreams sometimes.

12 down ~ 123 to go

Bed Rest ~ Day 11

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Let's see...pretty boring day here.

I woke up with a wicked headache/migraine that I have been unable to shake. Then I had some really bad cramping. So I just took a Darvocet hoping that it would knock out one or both of the issues. I don't know how great it worked at helping with the pain but I did sleep through most of today so I guess that's a something, right. The one thing I am noticing is that when my cramping gets worse, my contractions return/increase. So I need to try and keep both at bay so that I can enjoy my reprieve in two days.

In other news, I had all of these deep and existential things I wanted to blog about today. Now that I'm sitting here, I can't remember a single one of them. lol

Ah well, I guess I'll just go eat my "European Snack" of fruit, cheese and bread while I hang out with Rob and watch some (more!) television.

11 down ~ 124 to go

Gavin Update

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Yeah, yeah, yeah...I've posted like 5 times in an hour or so. I figured it would be easier to break it all up into smaller posts rather than have one of my marathon posts. Plus it helps to pass some time...Sue me. (It's all the rage right now, don't you know? ;) lol)

Gavin has been home from school all week. He started to come down with the nasty bronchitis that Rob had a few weeks ago while he was staying with my parents. Sunday night he was running a 101-102 degree fever. We started him on antibiotics Monday night but he still had a fever on Tuesday so we opted to just keep him home. Of course now he'll have been home 2 weeks by the time he returns to school after "spring break". But this past week has been relatively calm. Dare I say it, almost normal. Or at least what we imagine normal would be like.

That's when Rob and I figured it out...the fever. There are rumors of something called "The Fever Effect" in some Autistic children, however, I've never seen or heard of it happening to anyone I know personally. (It should be noted that it also does not happen/work with all Autistic children.) While Gavin had his 101-102 degree fever, he was "himself" again. By "himself" I mean the way he used to be before the switch was flipped. He was more tolerant and laid back.

Now that the fever has broken and disappeared, so has that Gavin. He's been antagonistic with Elliott Richard all day, demanding, impatient...generally just himself. For example, at around lunch time Gavin came downstairs upset that we had missed lunch and he wanted it "NOW". In reality we hadn't missed lunch, it wasn't even lunch time yet. Then once I made lunch, he didn't eat it. All day long he's been that way, gimme gimme...mine mine mine...no no no. You get the idea.

Rob was hoping to discuss the fever effect with Dr. R today but they had a digital snafu and had no record of our appointment. Ah well, there's always next time.

***Be sure to scroll down. There are many other new posts from today.***

I've been granted a REPRIEVE!

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Yup, you read that correctly! Dr. D has granted me a reprieve. I am permitted, so long as I am not having contractions or extreme cramping, to go from my couch to my car to a couch or LazyBoy recliner at Rob's uncle's house on Easter Sunday! Woo Whoo!! Now if I manage to stay down almost all day between now and then, hopefully I won't have any more cramping or contractions so I can go. :)

I can't tell you how nice it will be to get out of the house for something other than an appointment with Dr. D. Not that I don't love seeing Dr. D and his staff, because you know I do. It's just that they never have food for me...Easter Sunday will! :) And as a pregnant woman, it's all about the food! lol

22 weeks

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What is Tiny up to this week: The grow must go on! No wonder you’re getting so big, you’re now housing a wonder-baby who weighs nearly a pound and measures nearly a foot in length. Their perfect little pancreas is now further developed and they’ve also started producing their own hormones! Your baby's future in the circus as a world-famous tight-rope-walker is secure: their inner ear is now developed to the point that they have their own sense of balance. Lucky for your little explorer, balance also promotes physical dexterity, which has them actively feeling out their surroundings where skin, body parts, and the resident umbilical cord are the big sensory experiences. Your foot-long baby, is looking a bit like an oversized raisin right now as more and more wrinkles are showing up each week. Not to worry, all that excessive wrinkling is just their skin’s way of planning ahead for the time when they’ll start piling on that irresistible baby chub.

Tiny has been moving more and more lately. Of course, Tiny is difficult much like the boys in that Tiny will move and move and move until I place my hand (or someone else's) on my belly to feel the movement. The movement will then immediately stop. lol Tiny is the most active at 3:00 pm and 6:00 pm. If I eat dark chocolate I'm assured at least an hour of good, hard kicks and punches. lol Tiny hasn't had the hiccups too much yet. It will be interesting to see if Tiny has the hiccups as often as Elliott Richard did. (Elliott Richard had the hiccups nearly everyday, multiple times a day for most of the second half of my pregnancy. lol) It just amazes me how much Tiny grows every week.

Only 2 weeks to go until the age of viability. If you are curious, here's a list of gestational ages and survival rates. Age of viability is the youngest age a fetus can be and still survive but every week Tiny stays put, the more the odds increase. At 30 weeks gestation, survival is increased to nearly 100% with only like a 10% of disabilities later in life.

Bed Rest ~ Day 10 Let them eat snacks!

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Rob went to the grocery store this afternoon. He brought me home lots of healthy snacks. Yum yum yummy! He brought me mixed nuts, granola bars, hard candy, beef jerky for my snack box that's next to the couch with me. Then he brought me strawberries, blueberries, black berries, bananas, brick cheese, string cheese and popcorn! He bought other stuff for actual meals and whatnot but I mainly have been eating little meals and lots of healthy snacks to try and help with the heartburn. So now I've got lots of snack all right here where I need them. :) Yay!

That's my big news for the day. I've been trying to stay down...probably more than my 90%. I talked to Lori yesterday and asked her about the cramps I've been having. She said that we are literally doing everything we can and that won't change in 2 weeks. What we are doing now is all that can be done. She said that the only way to try and stop the cramps was to stay down more. So that's what I'm doing today and from now on. Because these cramps have got to go.

I'm almost finished with the cross stitch birth announcement I'm making for Tiny. I'll post some pictures once it's finished. Maybe I'll even show you the ones I made for Gavin and Elliott Richard. (Aren't you excited? lol)

Other than that, things have been pretty quiet here today.

10 down ~ 125 to go

Some have asked...

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First, I want this to be known and understood...I am posting this because people have asked. I am not asking for things. I do not want anyone to feel that I am requesting gifts or anything of the sort. Please do not feel you have to act on the lists. I am simply giving the information that has been asked for. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Anyway, some have asked what sort of things I like. What sort of things I need. What sort of things they can do that might help.

Things I Need
~Puzzle books (word search, "fill it in", books with various different types of puzzles)
~Magazines
~Cross stitch projects
~Any fairly simple project that can be done while on the couch and laying down/reclining

Likes/Snacks
~Chocolates
~Hard candy
~Mixed nuts
~Granola bars
~Healthy high protein snacks (They will help Tiny to put on more weight between now and birth.)

Things that Might Help
~Come visit me (Please call first just in case Gavin is having an espeically rough day etc.)
~Send a card/note/letter (I keep them all and put them in a scrapbook for Tiny.)
~Bring dinner for the family

I am not asking you to spend money. You don't have to buy me new magazines, share your old ones. Remember you've read them but I haven't. :) lol Again I'm not asking for gifts. I am simply sharing the information that has been requested.

21 week Belly Pictures

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Some of you may notice that my 20 week belly pictures are missing. That would be because we forgot to take them. With all the craziness of L&D trips, doctor's appointments, Rob being sick and whatnot...pictures were forgotten by the wayside. Ah well, we've got all the rest of the weeks. ;)
Bare belly side shot
Side shot of the belly - I don't think I'll be wearing that shirt much longer. lol
My sad attempt at making a heart over my belly with my hands. lol

Random Elliott Richard pictures

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Elliott Richard showing the belly some lovin's. (Ignore me in the background, I just happen to come with the belly. lol)
"Feeding the piggy"
Otherwise known as putting his coins in the piggy bank.
He is one hungry piggy! lol

Goodies from Mom!

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So it just occurred to me that I forgot to post a picture of the goodies from my Mom and some other pictures. I blame "Mommy Brain"...those who have been pregnant (especially on bed rest) will understand. ;) lol
The Goods: A Joy Nash book, a bag of Jordan almonds (finished those last night) and a box of assorted dark chocolates (finished those in a binge session Monday afternoon) lol

Thank you Mommy!!!! The chocolates were delish and I would be willing to take many more boxes just like that one off your hands, if need be. ;) lol

Bed Rest ~ Day 9 That crazy thing you do....

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So it's only 7:18am. I've been "awake" for about an hour. (Thank you Elliott Richard!) So it's the very beginning of Day 9. Anyway...one of the past times I've discovered is checking out my map of all the hits to the blog. It just fascinates me that I've had hits in Germany, India, Japan, Australia, and England. What can I say, I'm a nerd and that is just so cool to me. Well one of my counters also allows me to see which Google searches serve as referrals to my blog. Some of them are obvious how they led to me and then there's the search that led to my blog this morning....

"left handed" -pitcher -pitchers -batter -batsman -starter -reliever -hitter -baseman -guys -players -mets -orioles (Google)

Yes, that's right. They used that exact search of all baseball related terms and somehow ended up on my blog?! Wha-wha-what?! lol

9 down ~ 126 to go

Come and get 'em!

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So I have a new blog that I simply must share with you. As always the link will be posted on the right under my Favorite Blogs list. Without further ado...

Adventures in Surrogacy ~ Susan is a working mom with 2 sons of her own and 3 step-kids. She is currently in the hospital on bed rest while pregnant with twin boys for a gay couple in Sweden. This is her second surrogacy - the first one ended with the birth of healthy boy/girl twins. I can't imagine the level of sacrifice it must take to carry babies for someone else. Her story is truly humbling and amazing.

Susan is a new member on the Sidelines message board so I haven't had much chance to get to know her there, however, I feel I have known her for years after reading her blog. She and I share quite a few similarities. ;) lol

Also...Something else to check out for those of you bored and looking for "cheap entertainment" (i.e. my bed rest bound mommies ;) lol)...Rob discovered a show on the History Channel called "Ax Men". It's about loggers from...well, so far they've only been from Washington and Oregon states. It's pretty scary to see all that they go through to harvest the trees. On a side note, I'm finding myself torn between being fascinated by the show and horrified at all of the trees they are cutting down. Although they did mention in the episode I watched last night, that they replant new trees. So at least they are putting back what they take.

Ah...true love...

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