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Siblings

12:02:00 PM Posted In , Edit This 5 Comments »

How many of you have siblings? Now how many of you are close to your siblings?

My Mom is 1 of 6. She has 4 sisters and 1 brother. She doesn't really see or talk to her brother much. But she's pretty close to her sisters. She sees them as often as possible and talks to them at least once a week if not more.

Rob is the oldest of six. He has 3 brothers and 2 sisters. He's pretty close with them too. We see them as often as possible and he talks to them on the phone once every week or two.

Enter the reason behind this particular blog. I, being the odd woman out, have one single baby brother. Although, admittedly, he's not a "baby" anymore at 17 years old. There are 10 1/2 years between us. All I ever wished for growing up was "a baby brother or sister". Every fountain wish. Every birthday wish. Letter to Santa. You name it and I asked, begged and wished for a sibling to/from them.

Somewhere around my 9th birthday I came to grips with the reality of being an only child. Not long after I had made my piece with my sibling-less station in life, my parents announced they were surprisingly pregnant! (It was a much more traumatic experience than that but we won't go there. Right Mom? lol) Now I was thrilled the whole pregnancy that my wishes were finally coming true. Then he was born. In that moment I realized that I did actually care if it was a brother or a sister. And I suddenly found myself wishing I had been a bit more specific in my wishing. Lol (I actually told my Dad to "put him back" but he said Mom wasn't going for that. At the time I didn't completely understand why. Needless to say, I understand now. lol)

There I was 10 1/2 years old with this new little brother. Who, for the record, was *nothing* like what I had imagined. He wasn't the least bit fun. And then as we grew up, he was mildly spoilt. (Okay, so was I but at 10 1/2 years old I didn't see that. lol) In all honesty, I spent a large portion of the rest of my childhood either ignoring him or giving him a hard time. I'm growing to regret this decision.

I see my mom with her siblings and Rob with his siblings; and I'm envious. I wish I were closer to Zachary. At this point, I don't even know how to go about trying to build a relationship with him. He's 17. My Mom said to give him a few years. That she became really close with her youngest sister only after they had grown up and married, started working on starting families.

Maybe it's the ADHD in me. Maybe it's the fact that everyday I stare down the idea of losing my family. Or the fact that he has a chronic disease and as his big sister I just want to make it all better and protect him. I only wish I knew how. Even on a basic, almost superficial level. I wish I knew how to connect with him, befriend him. I wish I knew how to be a better big sister.

5 Comments:

Chris TTC buddies said...

I agree give it a few years. I didn't even like my sisters until we were all grown up and moved out to our own places. Now they are my best friends. I was 4 when the first was born and never wanted a sibling, and always resented them. We fought like crazy growing up, mostly because they got to do everything earlier than I did growing up and because Mom always took their side over mine. But now I can't imagine being without them. When he has some grown up stuff to deal with that he doesn't want to talk about with Mom or Dad he'll come to you and Rob and the relationship will start to grow!

Hugs!

Chris

Lola said...

Well I can't comment from my POV about siblings obviously lol but I can tell you that my two cousins (sisters) absolutely HATED each other until after college, then they grew closer so yeah, give it some time.

Nicole said...

My brothers and I are still figuring out the whole adult sibling relationship thing... and I've been out of the house for 10 years. (and moved away for almost as many years - so that could be a part of it too) But I will say as they get older, they are starting to understand more of my POV on a lot of things from our childhood so there is progress ;). Best thing you can do is just talk to him about nothing ;) and everything all at the same time. ;)

Anonymous said...

well im just going to tell you that i think u are a wonderful big sister to me! (dont tell the others....but u are the first one i go to with important life questions and what not) lol but i think once zach gets older hell realize how great of a big sister u are and u will be closer. Jon and i hated eachother till him and teri got close...now im really close with him! idk if that helps u or not....but i love u! lol and once we get that lil one of urs gets off the teet....its bittners for sure! ;-) lol

April said...

Give it time first off. It's a tough age for him, and you two are so different now--you have a family and home and kids, and he is still a kid himself.

If you want to actively try to connect with him, try baby steps. Save up for a while and offer to take him to a movie, or out for an ice cream or something like that. Just a little something here and there, some activity that you can do together. Those little gestures over time will start to build, and the more time you spend with him the more you two will connect on a closer level.

Your pics of your kiddos below, by the way, are precious. Elliot cracks me up, and Emmett is so big now! I love his expressions.

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