Cheerio Confessions

More crazy pregnancy dreams last night. I hate when I can't even tell where they are coming from. Like my dreams I posted about...when was that? Yesterday or the day before...something like that. Those dreams probably stem from the nagging fear that I have that I'm over analyzing everything little thing because I'm terrified I'll miss the big stuff. The memorial service dream...well, I've had similar dreams for the past 6 years. Logically, I know that my Granny died 6 years ago. Emotionally, I keep maintaining the tinest shred of hope that it was all a horrible nightmare. But last night's dreams...I'll be darned if I can figure out where they came from.

My first dream was something to do with my best friend from high school. Rob and I were at her house only she was living with her dad. I was just odd. I can't remember much of it. Then we left her house and Rob disappeared. I was me only I looked like someone else and I was trying to sneak into some top secret business. I was getting away with it for a while and then they caught me. But I got away. (I'm just that good! lol) So I ran from the top secret business and end up at McDonald's with a job a bartender! lol I was actually pretty good too.

That's all I remember. They were so odd. I wish I could remember all the details but I can't. I think the McDonald's part was my favorite. lol

Now before I go about my morning routine of eating breakfast and working on cross stich projects, I feel I must introduce you to another new blogger friend. :)

Julie ~ Julie is married to Bob and currently pregnant with their first child. She and I actually share a due date, which is always fun. Julie is also currently on bed rest (again, which is always fun). Julie is...I just feel a connection with her. Therefore it is my duty to introduce you to Julie and her blog! :)

Go! Read! Comment! Pray! :)

14 down ~ 121 to go
2 weeks down ~ 13 to go

I hate bed rest. I hate everything about it. From being tied down all day and night. To the needle sticks. (Did I mention that I was shaking during my morning Heparin shot today? Yeah, that hurts. Don't try it.) Rob says I take it all like a champ. Externally, maybe (although doubtful but whatever). Internally, I'm a big baby. I clutch whichever hand isn't attached to the poked arm closed so tightly that my fingernails leave grooves in my palm. And the only thought in my head during the stick is, "I'm doing this for Tiny."

Every sacrifice I make today, tomorrow and everyday for the next 4-5 months (not to mention the rest of my life) will be for Tiny. And I'm happy to do it all but deep down (or just under the surface, depending on the day of the week) I'm absolutely terrified by each and every change in my body. "Was that something to worry about?" "When was the last time I felt Tiny move?" And I know that if anything were to happen to Tiny, especially while I'm pregnant, I would fall apart. I don't know how I would handle it. I don't know how I would survive. But there are women out there, strong women who handle it. Who make it. Who put my injections and testing and blood draws to shame. These women are...there are no words to do them justice. And I don't know how they do it.

If you pray, please add these women and their families to your prayers. Please pray for peace. Peace of mind. Peace of spirit. Simply peace. They deserve that much (and honestly, they deserve so much more). Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers. (The paragraphs under my brief descriptions are direct quotes I have taken from their blogs.)

Chrissy ~ Wife to Vinnie. Mother to Dominic, Mya and Eva Janette. Eva Janette was born on Monday, March 17, 2008 with Trisomy 18.

Peacefully from my chest to His arms and then to grandma Janet's @ 2:57am. She indeed made it Home for Easter! Her Home! We walked thru the front door of our home at 5:27am indeed a family of 5! Thanking Jesus for the time we had! 5 whole days 18 whole hours 10 whole minutes She has been healed and made WHOLE! And all in His timing!
Posted by Chrissy at 6:47 AM 51 comments

Yvette ~ Wife to Trayc. Mother to Tanner, Tayden and Tristan. Tristan Asher was born on Monday, December 3, 2007 with Trisomy 18.

Thank you to everyone who has commented on our blog since Sunday. We are overwhelmed with the amount of prayers and support for our family in the loss of our sweet, precious little boy, Tristan. They are being felt and are such an encouragement to us as we are being faced with the saddest and most difficult days of our lives. We are okay though and so is Tanner. We will post a more detailed account of what happened on Sunday in the next few days as we have been so busy with plans the past 2 days.How do I say this was totally unexpected and yet it wasn't. Tristan has been doing so good and had a great day on Sunday right up until 4:20 when his apnea monitor went off and then seconds later his heart monitor went off - THE HEART MONITOR HAS NEVER GONE OFF BEFORE!!! He went down quickly from there. I was on my way home from the store (15 min. away) and got home at 4:35 pm, Trayc handed Tristan to me and he passed away a mere 5 minutes later at 4:40 pm. Straight from my arms to Jesus arms.Please continue to keep us in your prayers as we have the "Celebration of Life" service for our little boy - We had 56 precious days!!!We love you all,The Hostetter Family

Posted by Yvette at 4:30 PM 78
comments

Susie ~ Wife to Matt. Mother to Oceana and Joshua. Joshua was born on Monday, January 7, 2008 with an encephalocele - a neural tube defect - that has left a hole in his skull. His brain has grown out through the back of the skull into a membrane-covered sack.

Joshua was promoted to Heaven this morning around 3am. He went peacefully. It was good to know he never struggled, never needed morphine, and was with us to the end. He slept between us last night and we are still saying out goodbyes. 67 beautiful days and a bonus 7 hours.

Posted by Susie at 10:26 AM 256 comments

I don't know how these women do it.

***I want to be sure to mention that, unfortunately, I realize there are many more stories such as these out there. There are many more blogs. These are only 3 of them. They happen to be 3 of the blogs I frequent quite often. That is why they are mentioned here and the others are not. Although I may not read the other blogs or even know of their existance, I don't know how those women do it either. So even though we do not know them, if you've got a second, throw a prayer up to God on behalf of all the mothers we do not know but he does.***

I'm done. *sigh*

I did exactly as I was told. I took a tiny shower this morning and got dressed. I stayed on the couch until it was time to go. Then I got in the car and stayed there until we got to Rob's Aunt Carol and Uncle Rick's. Once there I went inside and sat in the most comfortable LazyBoy recliner ever. We left. Picked up Gavin at my Auntie Paula's, where I stayed in the car. And came home.

To me, it felt like nothing more than a few potty breaks with a change of scenery. To my body, it was apparently much more. I'm super crampy with tons of pressure, which is not good. On the bright side, I got out, which isn't likely to happen again soon. And Tiny has been moving and grooving like crazy! Even as I type this, my stomach keeps bouncing up and down. lol

It was so nice to get out of the house and see someone else's four walls though. Everyone was really understanding of the fact that I couldn't get up or do anything. Kate took Elliott Richard for a little while before the get-together. Then she took him to Aunt Carol and Uncle Rick's. She even helped to take care of both Elliott Richard and me while we were there. Overall, it was nice.

Everyone was asking what Tiny's sex is. I didn't tell. Grandma Gene kept trying to trick me by asking what color we are going to paint the nursery. And of course others were only interested in trying to find out Tiny's sex. *sigh* Someday they'll figure out that the more they push and the less interest they show in me or the pregnancy as whole, the less likely they are to find out Tiny's sex.

The boys made out like bandits. Grandma Gene gave Gavin a bank that is shaped like a soccer ball and when you put money in it, it plays a song. Elliott Richard ended up with it though because Gavin would have ended up throwing it around or using it as a typical ball. They both got CD's with kids songs on them. It will be nice to have some new CD's in the car besides Veggie Tales "Boyz in the Sink".




And now I'm just going to camp out on my couch for the rest of the night and pray that the pressure and cramping goes away.


13 down ~ 122 to go

T-minus 1 hour until my repreive begins! Woo whoo!

Today has been...interesting. The boys woke up at about 7:30am. The "Easter Bunny" had hidden the baskets and 3 eggs each for the boys, all in plain site. Green up high for Gavin. Blue down low for Elliott, to avoid any confusion. They found their eggs and then their baskets. It sometimes amazes me just how different my boys are.

Gavin struggled to find his eggs. Elliott zipped from one to the next. Once he found his basket, Gavin shrugged it off. The thrill of the hunt was over and he walked off to play with his toys. Elliott found his basket and sat down to inspect the contents. He looked at the stuff on top and chose his first piece, then his next piece. He would have gone for more but we removed the temptation. It's times like this that it is glaringly obvious to me, just how different my boys really are.

Tiny has been pretty quiet today, which is unnerving for mommy. I drank cold water. Ate some dark chocolate, Tiny's favorite. Nada. Finally, I went for broke...I laid on my belly. Tiny hates that. lol But it got a bunch of bomp, bomp, bomps...so whatever it takes. Ever since then, I've been getting kicked and bomped all over the place. I think Tiny is staging a protest to prevent me from laying on my belly again. Again I say, whatever it takes.

glitter-graphics.com

I had a blog all typed out. I just needed to add to it a little bit but Elliott Richard desperately needed to go to bed, so I saved it and then accidentally closed IE. Now, it's gone. *Poof!* How infuriating!

Oh well, that post will have to wait now. Because it took much effort to get it done the first time and I don't have the energy to do it again. Pfth! So we will move on to my next post idea...

So these are some random memories I've had going through my head the past few days...

~Back in 1997, I had my first (and last) AOL account and my very own desktop (thanks to my boyfriend at the time). One night I was cruising the AOL chat rooms and I don't remember what room I was in but I started talking to this girl. It was a very deep, very existential conversation about...toothpicks. Yup, that's right, I said toothpicks. I can't remember the conversation only that it was about toothpicks and I felt very mature to have had such a deep, existential conversation about them. lol

~One summer when I was maybe 6 or 7, I was spending the day at my Auntie Paula's hanging out with my cousins. Well, Maddy was out riding her bike and something happened that caused her to flip over her handlebars. She skinned her knees and was pretty upset. I remember walking her back to the house and struggling to handle both Maddy and the bike. (It didn't occur to me to leave the silly bike and come back for it later.)

~I used to ride to Kidron with my Granny (Grandma Miller) to go to the flea markets there. We would always stop at McDonald's on our way out of town. She would get her coffee and I would get mine (hot chocolate).

I'm not sure why these memories have been running through my head. But they have. Hopefully now that I've shared them with you, they'll leave me alone. lol

You know it's so frustrating to be in bed, half asleep and get a dozen new ideas for blogs - really good ideas - only to wake up in the morning and have forgotten everything except the fact that I thought of them.

I had crazy pregnancy dreams last night. The first dream I kept going into L&D saying I was in preterm labor and begging the staff to help me. The kept blowing me off so they could have big holiday parties. Rob was too busy watching television in the family waiting area to be of any help. And our families were there but kept telling me I just wanted attention, that there wasn't really anything wrong with me or Tiny. I finally got one of the interns/residents to take me semi-seriously but he refused to discuss anything with Dr. D. I told him he would under no circumstances be "catching" Tiny. So he had better call Dr. D or I would be delivering on my own. This upset him because he "only needed one more unassisted live birth to become a doctor". I told him to go find some other pregnant woman to do his "homework" with.

Then I was being dragged out of my L&D room to attend a memorial service for my grandfather. Half way through his ceremony, they began one for my grandmother who had passed away almost 6 years ago! They kept asking me to write a note to her. But every time I would try, the space I had to write it would shrink. Once it got to be small enough to fit inside a locket, I gave up. I just remember being so confused. I couldn't understand why if she had been alive for the past 6 years no one told me. So I would start to cry (I'm actually tearing up just thinking about it...I miss her like crazy.) which would jump start my preterm labor. Then the whole dream would start all over again.

I swear I hate pregnancy dreams sometimes.

12 down ~ 123 to go

Let's see...pretty boring day here.

I woke up with a wicked headache/migraine that I have been unable to shake. Then I had some really bad cramping. So I just took a Darvocet hoping that it would knock out one or both of the issues. I don't know how great it worked at helping with the pain but I did sleep through most of today so I guess that's a something, right. The one thing I am noticing is that when my cramping gets worse, my contractions return/increase. So I need to try and keep both at bay so that I can enjoy my reprieve in two days.

In other news, I had all of these deep and existential things I wanted to blog about today. Now that I'm sitting here, I can't remember a single one of them. lol

Ah well, I guess I'll just go eat my "European Snack" of fruit, cheese and bread while I hang out with Rob and watch some (more!) television.

11 down ~ 124 to go

Yeah, yeah, yeah...I've posted like 5 times in an hour or so. I figured it would be easier to break it all up into smaller posts rather than have one of my marathon posts. Plus it helps to pass some time...Sue me. (It's all the rage right now, don't you know? ;) lol)

Gavin has been home from school all week. He started to come down with the nasty bronchitis that Rob had a few weeks ago while he was staying with my parents. Sunday night he was running a 101-102 degree fever. We started him on antibiotics Monday night but he still had a fever on Tuesday so we opted to just keep him home. Of course now he'll have been home 2 weeks by the time he returns to school after "spring break". But this past week has been relatively calm. Dare I say it, almost normal. Or at least what we imagine normal would be like.

That's when Rob and I figured it out...the fever. There are rumors of something called "The Fever Effect" in some Autistic children, however, I've never seen or heard of it happening to anyone I know personally. (It should be noted that it also does not happen/work with all Autistic children.) While Gavin had his 101-102 degree fever, he was "himself" again. By "himself" I mean the way he used to be before the switch was flipped. He was more tolerant and laid back.

Now that the fever has broken and disappeared, so has that Gavin. He's been antagonistic with Elliott Richard all day, demanding, impatient...generally just himself. For example, at around lunch time Gavin came downstairs upset that we had missed lunch and he wanted it "NOW". In reality we hadn't missed lunch, it wasn't even lunch time yet. Then once I made lunch, he didn't eat it. All day long he's been that way, gimme gimme...mine mine mine...no no no. You get the idea.

Rob was hoping to discuss the fever effect with Dr. R today but they had a digital snafu and had no record of our appointment. Ah well, there's always next time.

***Be sure to scroll down. There are many other new posts from today.***

Yup, you read that correctly! Dr. D has granted me a reprieve. I am permitted, so long as I am not having contractions or extreme cramping, to go from my couch to my car to a couch or LazyBoy recliner at Rob's uncle's house on Easter Sunday! Woo Whoo!! Now if I manage to stay down almost all day between now and then, hopefully I won't have any more cramping or contractions so I can go. :)

I can't tell you how nice it will be to get out of the house for something other than an appointment with Dr. D. Not that I don't love seeing Dr. D and his staff, because you know I do. It's just that they never have food for me...Easter Sunday will! :) And as a pregnant woman, it's all about the food! lol

What is Tiny up to this week: The grow must go on! No wonder you’re getting so big, you’re now housing a wonder-baby who weighs nearly a pound and measures nearly a foot in length. Their perfect little pancreas is now further developed and they’ve also started producing their own hormones! Your baby's future in the circus as a world-famous tight-rope-walker is secure: their inner ear is now developed to the point that they have their own sense of balance. Lucky for your little explorer, balance also promotes physical dexterity, which has them actively feeling out their surroundings where skin, body parts, and the resident umbilical cord are the big sensory experiences. Your foot-long baby, is looking a bit like an oversized raisin right now as more and more wrinkles are showing up each week. Not to worry, all that excessive wrinkling is just their skin’s way of planning ahead for the time when they’ll start piling on that irresistible baby chub.

Tiny has been moving more and more lately. Of course, Tiny is difficult much like the boys in that Tiny will move and move and move until I place my hand (or someone else's) on my belly to feel the movement. The movement will then immediately stop. lol Tiny is the most active at 3:00 pm and 6:00 pm. If I eat dark chocolate I'm assured at least an hour of good, hard kicks and punches. lol Tiny hasn't had the hiccups too much yet. It will be interesting to see if Tiny has the hiccups as often as Elliott Richard did. (Elliott Richard had the hiccups nearly everyday, multiple times a day for most of the second half of my pregnancy. lol) It just amazes me how much Tiny grows every week.

Only 2 weeks to go until the age of viability. If you are curious, here's a list of gestational ages and survival rates. Age of viability is the youngest age a fetus can be and still survive but every week Tiny stays put, the more the odds increase. At 30 weeks gestation, survival is increased to nearly 100% with only like a 10% of disabilities later in life.

Rob went to the grocery store this afternoon. He brought me home lots of healthy snacks. Yum yum yummy! He brought me mixed nuts, granola bars, hard candy, beef jerky for my snack box that's next to the couch with me. Then he brought me strawberries, blueberries, black berries, bananas, brick cheese, string cheese and popcorn! He bought other stuff for actual meals and whatnot but I mainly have been eating little meals and lots of healthy snacks to try and help with the heartburn. So now I've got lots of snack all right here where I need them. :) Yay!

That's my big news for the day. I've been trying to stay down...probably more than my 90%. I talked to Lori yesterday and asked her about the cramps I've been having. She said that we are literally doing everything we can and that won't change in 2 weeks. What we are doing now is all that can be done. She said that the only way to try and stop the cramps was to stay down more. So that's what I'm doing today and from now on. Because these cramps have got to go.

I'm almost finished with the cross stitch birth announcement I'm making for Tiny. I'll post some pictures once it's finished. Maybe I'll even show you the ones I made for Gavin and Elliott Richard. (Aren't you excited? lol)

Other than that, things have been pretty quiet here today.

10 down ~ 125 to go

First, I want this to be known and understood...I am posting this because people have asked. I am not asking for things. I do not want anyone to feel that I am requesting gifts or anything of the sort. Please do not feel you have to act on the lists. I am simply giving the information that has been asked for. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Anyway, some have asked what sort of things I like. What sort of things I need. What sort of things they can do that might help.

Things I Need
~Puzzle books (word search, "fill it in", books with various different types of puzzles)
~Magazines
~Cross stitch projects
~Any fairly simple project that can be done while on the couch and laying down/reclining

Likes/Snacks
~Chocolates
~Hard candy
~Mixed nuts
~Granola bars
~Healthy high protein snacks (They will help Tiny to put on more weight between now and birth.)

Things that Might Help
~Come visit me (Please call first just in case Gavin is having an espeically rough day etc.)
~Send a card/note/letter (I keep them all and put them in a scrapbook for Tiny.)
~Bring dinner for the family

I am not asking you to spend money. You don't have to buy me new magazines, share your old ones. Remember you've read them but I haven't. :) lol Again I'm not asking for gifts. I am simply sharing the information that has been requested.

So it just occurred to me that I forgot to post a picture of the goodies from my Mom and some other pictures. I blame "Mommy Brain"...those who have been pregnant (especially on bed rest) will understand. ;) lol

So it's only 7:18am. I've been "awake" for about an hour. (Thank you Elliott Richard!) So it's the very beginning of Day 9. Anyway...one of the past times I've discovered is checking out my map of all the hits to the blog. It just fascinates me that I've had hits in Germany, India, Japan, Australia, and England. What can I say, I'm a nerd and that is just so cool to me. Well one of my counters also allows me to see which Google searches serve as referrals to my blog. Some of them are obvious how they led to me and then there's the search that led to my blog this morning....

"left handed" -pitcher -pitchers -batter -batsman -starter -reliever -hitter -baseman -guys -players -mets -orioles (Google)

Yes, that's right. They used that exact search of all baseball related terms and somehow ended up on my blog?! Wha-wha-what?! lol

9 down ~ 126 to go

So I have a new blog that I simply must share with you. As always the link will be posted on the right under my Favorite Blogs list. Without further ado...

Adventures in Surrogacy ~ Susan is a working mom with 2 sons of her own and 3 step-kids. She is currently in the hospital on bed rest while pregnant with twin boys for a gay couple in Sweden. This is her second surrogacy - the first one ended with the birth of healthy boy/girl twins. I can't imagine the level of sacrifice it must take to carry babies for someone else. Her story is truly humbling and amazing.

Susan is a new member on the Sidelines message board so I haven't had much chance to get to know her there, however, I feel I have known her for years after reading her blog. She and I share quite a few similarities. ;) lol

Also...Something else to check out for those of you bored and looking for "cheap entertainment" (i.e. my bed rest bound mommies ;) lol)...Rob discovered a show on the History Channel called "Ax Men". It's about loggers from...well, so far they've only been from Washington and Oregon states. It's pretty scary to see all that they go through to harvest the trees. On a side note, I'm finding myself torn between being fascinated by the show and horrified at all of the trees they are cutting down. Although they did mention in the episode I watched last night, that they replant new trees. So at least they are putting back what they take.

Nathan started this the other day. I have decided to play along...why not, it's not like I have any other pressing matter to tend to.

7 Things You May Not Know About Me

1.) I have a natural aptitude for Chemistry and genetics. They just make sense to me with little or no effort on my part. What's more, I actually truly enjoy the subjects. I even wanted to get my masters in bio-genetic engineering after graduating high school.

2.) I have always dreamed of being a surrogate mother for another couple. Rob and I discussed it, in a non-commital what-if sort of way when we were engaged but decided against it. After the complications of Elliott Richard's and Tiny's pregnancies, I would never be choosen now anyway.

3.) I was adopted when I was 6 months old. However, I often forget because in my heart and head my family has always been my family, even without the genetic link. And friends who do not know I am adopted, often say I look a lot like my mother. (I love hearing this.)

4.) Persuant to #3, I had 3 different first and middle names in my first 6 months of life. Upon birth my birth mother opted not to name me. My foster parents took care of me for the first 6 months of my life and named me Alyssa Ann. (A gal can't go for 6 months being called "hey you" or "baby girl". lol) Then when it was decided who my parents would be they told my case worker they were going to name me Grace (I forget the middle name). So for my last few weeks my foster family called me Grace to help me adjust. Then when I was delivered to my parents, they had decided to name me Elizabeth in stead. (And people wonder why I'm confused much of the time! *hrmph* lol)

5.) I am ambidextrious. My eye doctor said based on which eye is stronger I should be left handed. I play most sports left handed. I do most things left handed. But I write mainly with my right.

6.) I was told 4 months before getting pregnant with Elliott Richard that I was infertile and would never be able to have more children. Guess they were wrong, huh? lol

7.) I found out a few years ago that in high school I was unofficially considered the "Least Likely to Conceive" because I was such a goody-goody that everyone apparently felt I would never have sex. Again, boy were they wrong!

That was much harder than I thought it would be, for what it's worth. ;)

Now y'all know a little more about me...so why don't you post to your blogs so we can learn a little more about you?

I think today I shall deviate from my game of "What I Did Today". I (probably) will not post everything I did or didn't do. Instead I will post about some new blogs I've found. I will post my thoughts on things. I will just generally kill time. (This may change later today.)

First order of business...my appointment with Dr. D this morning. There really isn't much to report. Here are the stats:

Weight: 171lb
Tiny's HB: 140's bpm

I spoke with Dr. D about the cramps I've been having, which are getting worse by the way. He said that we are doing what we can at this point and we'll know more in 2 weeks. *sigh* I'm seriously debating calling tomorrow if they don't let up though...that's how bad they are. Of course, I forgot to ask about Easter Sunday. Oh well, now I'll just have to call tomorrow and figure it all out.

8 down ~ 127 to go (but who's counting right?)

Well my temp-nurse Candace (Candy) just left a few minutes ago. She was very nice. Totally different from Lisa. I miss Lisa. :( This will probably sound funny but I prefer the way Lisa gives them. Lisa pushes the solution (progesterone in an oil suspension so it's super thick!) much slower than Candy did. It felt as if the whole solution was going to pool in a bubble in my butt! It didn't but that's how quickly she pushed it. Never mind the fact that she was just inches off to the right of my spine! Only one more week to go without Lisa.

Here are the stats from my visit with Candy:

BP: 96/60
Temp: 97.7 degrees
Tiny's HB: 147 bpm

I'm killing time until my mom comes to pick me up at 9:30-9:40 am to take me to see Dr. D. I'll post again after I get home from that appointment. I hoping and praying that I haven't begun to dilate. I'm terrified right now that all this pressure and whatnot is actually accomplishing something. I really don't want that to happen.

Prayers would be grately appreciated!

Well my temp-nurse Candace (Candy) just left a few minutes ago. I miss Lisa. :( Only one more week to go without Lisa.

Here are the stats from my visit with Candy:

BP: 96/60
Temp: 97.7 degrees
Tiny's HB: 147 bpm

I'm killing time until my mom comes to pick me up at 9:30-9:40 am to take me to see Dr. D. I'll post again after I get home from that appointment. I hoping and praying that I haven't begun to dilate. I'm terrified right now that all this pressure and whatnot is actually accomplishing something. I really don't want that to happen. Prayers would be grately appreciated!

One week down! One week down! Only 14 weeks to go! *does the happy dance on my couch*

Today was pretty quiet. Even with Gavin home and sick. He spent most of the day zoned in bed. Poor little guy. We put our DVD player and a television in his room so he can lay in bed and zone in front of that at least.

I spent the day...oh, yeah...on the couch. I know...big surprise, right? lol I've had a lot of cramps today and a few contractions but not too many, not enough to call about at any rate. I'll be sure to mention it to my Matria nurse (not Lisa because she is in Disney World on vacation! :p lol Lucky duck.) tomorrow and then again to Dr. D at 10:00 am. I'm not sure if Dr. D will do anything though. Maybe increase my Procardia. I've managed to go a few days without massive Procardia-migraines too. (Woo whoo!) So given my luck in life, it would stand to reason that Dr. D would increase it and cause the return of the migraines.

So yeah, another day on the couch. Rob did some running around in the morning and his mom was nice enough to watch Elliott Richard for us. Which meant I got to watch whatever I wanted all morning long. I've been working my way through a dozen different Law & Orders, both SVU and Criminal Intent. Ah, to be able to watch what I want. Hey, what can I say, it's the little things in life.

Today is St. Patrick's Day. It's the one day of the year that everyone in America wants to be a nationality they aren't. Rather it's the one day of the year that everyone pretends to be a nationality they aren't so they can drink themselves into oblivion, guilt free. I love the day. It's one of my favorites. I'm 50% Irish, honestly and legitimately. But it also drives me insane because you get children in adults bodies. You get these guys out there doing "kegs and eggs" starting at all hours of the morning. Then they drink straight through the day. Killing as many brain cells as possible along the way. Not to mention whomever is unlucky enough to come across the "invincible" alcoholic drivers. Drives me insane. Especially the way they "announce" to all who will listen that they are "DRINKING GREEN BEER". Like they deserve an award for it. Or we should reward them for being complete goofs all day long. I'd like to just knock their heads together sometimes. Kind of makes me wonder....do any of them know why we celebrate the day in the first place? Or do they just believe it exists to assist them in getting falling down, sloppy drunk? *sigh*

Rob and I are having a "great debate" over names again. I may have to post another poll. Sorry I can't share more about the debate but....y'all still don't know what Tiny is. ;) lol

I think I'm going to go grab a snack. Now if only I could find something that sounds good....

7 down ~ 128 to go
1 week down ~ 14 to go

I haven't posted in a few days. I have been trying to keep my family together. I have been busy beyond belief.

Let me start first by saying Gavin came home this morning. For those who don't know Gavin spent the past week with Lizze's mom because Lizze and I desperately needed a break. Gavin started to not feel good last Friday. He stayed over there in order to try and protect Lizze and the baby from getting sick (because that is the last thing we need). Grandma took really good care of him and he was really having fun. However, Gavin came home this morning sick still. Needless to say he didn't go to school today and probably won't the rest of the week. That means that he will have over 2 weeks off of school because of spring break. It turns out Gavin has bronchitis. I was sick for 2 weeks with that, only getting over it last week.

And if that wasn't bad enough it appears Elliott is coming down with the same thing. Hopefully, Elliott will be spared and Gavin has a speedy recovery. All I know is that this is going to be a really long week. Wish us luck....

On a side note. I wanted to say thank you to Debbie and her family. They made us dinner and brought it over this morning. She made us chili and it was really good. Thank you for your kindness......

That's all for now. Elliott is crying.......

Well, another day down. Today was more of the same.

Woke up. Hung out on the couch. Had cereal with Elliott Richard. (I miss being able to eat my food without sharing. lol If you think about it, when I eat I'm eating for 3! Me, Elliott Richard and Tiny!) Hung out on the couch some more. Ate lunch. Snuggled with Elliott Richard. Watched some repeats. Set up some movies to record. Played some DS games. Worked on the cross stitch birth announcement for Tiny. Put Elliott Richard to bed. And now, here I am.

See...nothing much to report because I.Have.No.Life. lol

Although I have been working with Elliott Richard on a modified version of the Ferber method for helping a child to sleep. I started last night but so far, so good. Granted I'm not leaving the room, yet. But I'm also no longer having to pat his back or rock him to sleep. Tonight as he was settling in the night, I was creeping farther and farther away. The good news is that for 2 nights in a row now, he's self-soothed to sleep. Yay! :)

Every other day or so, I've been posting a list as part of my daily Bed Rest countdown. It's come to my attention that some people don't truly understand how difficult it is to be placed on 90/10 bed rest. So tonight's list(s) (maybe I'll do more than one) will tackle that...

Things I Can't Do or Will Miss While on Bed Rest
~I missed ice cream with Elliott Richard for his 2nd birthday.
~I cannot go shopping.
~I cannot do my laundry.
~I will miss Easter.
~Long showers and/or bathes are no longer an option.
~No more playtime on the floor with Elliott Richard.
~No more participating at Gavin's school or the PTA.
~No more freedoms, period.

Things I Can Expect While on Bed Rest
~2 shots/day
~Days filled with worry and analyzing every cramp/twinge.
~Weekly doctors appointments with Dr. D.
~Medications with crazy side effects.
~More free time on my hands than I'll ever know what to do with.
~Drinking 60-100 oz of water a day.
~Spending most of every day on my left side.
~Every day spent looking at the same 4 walls.

I know there are more that I could list. These lists also don't do much to paint an accurate picture of what my life is like for the (hopefully) the next 4 months or so. But I wanted to give you a brief glimpse and show you that bed rest isn't me sitting around, eating Bon-Bons and watching soap operas. It's really frustrating to know that there are things that need to be done and I cannot do them. Likewise, it kills me to see home much stress and pressure this situation is putting on Rob and there isn't anything I can do to help him. So please try and keep this stuff in mind when you hear about someone on bed rest (for whatever reason)...it's truly not all fun and games.

And for those of you who sent me emails or called me, I'm sorry if I caused you to worry. I was just exhausted and trying to form coherent, intelligent, witty blogs was the last thing I wanted to do. But your love and concern is grately appreciated! *hugs*

6 down ~ 129 to go

Another day down. That's 2 Heparin injections, 2 Procardia doses, 1 massive Procardia induced migraine, and 2 visits = 1 exhausted bed ridden Lizze.

Today was more of the same. Except I got to sleep in, which was heavenly. My parents took the boys to dinner at a local ice cream parlor (yes, they still exist) so Rob and I even got an hour to hang out and eat in peace. Again, it was heavenly. Debbie stopped by for a quick visit so I could sign some paperwork for the PTA bank account. Then Rob's parents stopped by for a visit tonight. It was nice. We sat and chatted for a while. I even managed to stay awake this time! lol

I've been thinking about doing some sort of list every few days while I'm on bed rest. On Day 1, I did a list of things I've learned. Tonight I think I'll do another list.

Things I'm Grateful For

~Rob knows how to give my injections.
~Rob is good at giving the injections.
~Tiny moves more everyday.
~I've learned that if I eat dark chocolate, Tiny will dance a half hour later. (This trick is great for the moments I'm feeling paranoid about everything.)
~My friends and family make time to visit me.
~They also are kind enough to bring me yummy gifts. (The way to a pregnant woman's heart is through her stomach, don't you know.)
~At midnight I will be 21 weeks and 3 days pregnant, I've made it through
another 24 hours without preterm labor.
~My parents continue to help us out and give us a much needed break.

It's now way past my bed time. A girl needs her beauty sleep, ya know?

4 days down ~ 131 days to go

Okay, so Bed Rest ~ Day 4 has just begun a few hours ago but there are a few things I wanted to blog about...simply because I can. I think the saddest part is that I am my own captive audience. lol Y'all can get up and walk away from my insanity at any point. I, however, am stuck with my insanity on my couch. ;)

So first, I've found 2 "new" blogs that I am in love with. Plus there is one that I have never really introduced you to, formally at least. So without furthur ado...here are my newest favorite blogs:

Learys In Love ~ I first mentioned Learys In Love here. She was the one who began the "For Tricia" movement. (Did you join in? I did.) Well, after I read her "For Tricia" I just had to read the rest of her blog. I'm finding myself captivated by her blog. There's just something about her "voice" when she writes...I love it.

My Vagina, My Home ~ I found Slade's blog by following a link from Learys In Love. Slade (I'm still reading from the beginning and so far I *think* Slade is her last name but don't quote me on that.) is a professor/teacher at her local college/university in my all-time favorite subject, English. The assignments she has come up with for her students make me so jealous! I wish I had a teacher like Slade when I was in college. I am also captivated by her "voice". It just speaks to me somehow. I'm only up to June 2006 but I've already commented many times because something she wrote just struck a cord with me, in a good way.

And last but not least...

Shannon ~ Shannon is a fellow high-risk pregnancy, bed rest bound mom. I met her on the SideLines message boards. She is a wonderfully optimistic mother of 3 boys and I honestly don't know how she handles it all with bed rest. (You may have seen Shannon's blog if you followed the link when I wrote about the Terb Pump here.)

If you have a moment and would like to check out these fine ladies blogs, please do so. Drop them a line. Leave them a comment. Share the love. :)

I also wanted to share another new facination of mine. I have discovered the show "Lockdown" on the National Geographic channel. It features different prisons throughout the United States and then focuses on the experiences of a few inmates from these prisons. I love these prison shows. As difficult as my life has been at times and of all the stupid decisions I've made in my 27 years, none of them have ever been so serious as to land me in jail/prison. The ingenius methods they come up with to get what they "need", is astounding. They put MacGyver to shame! Plus I would never make it in prison...they have to have everything neat and in it's proper place. My brain just doesn't work that way. lol

Well, it's been yet another exciting day in the land of Bed Restville.

I woke up...with a migraine. Took a shower. Camped out on the couch for the day. Around lunch time, my MIL (mother-in-law) and Jenny (SIL = sister-in-law) stopped by with chocolate milkshakes and french fries. (yum) Not long after they left (thank you so much for stopping by!) Debbie came by to talk "shop"...other wise know as PTA talk. Then she went and took care of the PTA meeting. While Rob went and picked up our sons for a play date until the meeting was over. I, of course, hung out on the couch. After the meeting, Debbie stopped by to pick-up her son and visit for a bit. When my mom came to pick-up Gavin she brought me some chocolates, jordan almonds and a book. :) I have pictures but I'm too sleepy to post them tonight. Aside from that, the rest of the day has been pretty much the same as the last two...me relaxing on the couch praying that the Procardia works soon and the pressure eases up.

During the relaxing, most of my day has been spent trying (desperately) to get rid of this goofy migraine. And now I'm just trying to stay awake Rob gets home...a battle that I'm loosing, oh well, as long as it gets rid of the migraine.

3 down ~ 132 to go

Yeah, so I've posted numerous times today. Sue me. I'm on bed rest and bored. (I tried to knit but my brain isn't computing what the book wants me to do.) Anyway...

I've been thinking about baby showers. And then I was reading the back story of a new blog I found and like and she has a post about baby showers. In her post she mentions how she didn't get a baby shower for her youngest and it made her sad that his baby book had all these empty pages. I feel her pain. Now I had a "baby shower" when I was pregnant with Gavin, however, it was mainly my aunts and a few cousins and as much as my mom tried, it wasn't very cheerful. I mean it was but there's a limit to how cheerful anyone can be for an 18 year old unwed mother, ya know? Then Gavin was 5 years old when I found out I was pregnant with Elliott Richard so I got another shower. Partly because almost everything I had used for Gavin was my little brother, Zachary's and that made it all 10 years old in 2000. Forget about it being safe in 2006! I also had a shower for Elliott Richard because Rob and I were married and he is Rob's parents first biological grandchild. Now that I'm pregnant with Tiny only 2 years after Elliott Richard, he won't get a shower. This saddens me because he too will have many empty pages in his baby book(s).

Now allow me to clarify, I do not want to have a shower for Tiny because of the gifts. Although I do like to open gifts. ;) lol I want to have a "non-shower shower". I want to basically have a big party with all the makings of a shower without the gifts. What it basically breaks down to is this, Tiny will be our last child. If I make it to full term, it will be a miracle. So doesn't Tiny deserve to be celebrated just like every other pregnancy? Don't we deserve the chance to celebrate our achievement of making it that far?

Let's do a little bit of math, shall we?

I'm 21 weeks pregnant today.
Most bed rest ends at around 36 weeks.

36 - 21 = 15 weeks of bed rest

Each week has 7 days in it.

15 * 7 = 105 days

Each day I will receive 2 Heparin injections. Except today, I only get 1 today. So...

104 * 2 = 208 + 1 = 209 Heparin injections total

Now we add the 18 17P injections.

209 + 18 = 227 total injections

But wait, there's more! I will also receive 2 steriod injections at 24 weeks to help Tiny's lung mature in case of premature delivery. So...

227 + 2 = 229 total injections!!!!

Keep in mind this does not include: blood draws, IV's or any other needle sticks. It's times like that that I wish I were a masocist and enjoyed pain.

What Tiny is up to this week: Your beautiful little miracle-gro baby will be putting on a full ounce and a half this week (and weighing up to 16.5 ounces), but that’s just the beginning! Within the next five weeks, they’ll really be packin’ it on! For now, we’re pleased to report the addition of rapid eye movement (REM) a key component to any healthy baby’s sleep schedule. While in the dermatology department: their thin soft skin is very red, rather translucent, and a bit wrinkled. Not to worry, it’s not a premature aging disease. It's just their clever little body setting them up with extra space that will smooth out once your little one starts packing on the baby-fat. That won’t be for a few more weeks, though. So for the time being, your munchkin is still a little lean mean growing machine! The beginnings of what is commonly called “brown fat” is just starting to fill in to help your baby retain some body heat, which is crucial as they’re not yet capable of regulating their own body temperature.

Today has been pretty calm so far. Here's the run down...

We woke up at 8:00am. (Yay for sleeping toddlers!) Hung out on the couch. Played some Oblivion. Hung out on the couch some more. Drank some water. Had a potty break. Spoke with my insurance company about my Procardia. They are still debating the request. Hung out on the couch some more. (Are you noticing a pattern here? lol) Spoke with Lori, Dr. D's nurse, about the Procardia and a few other prescriptions. Rob took Elliott Richard to the grocery store. I hung out on the couch. Spoke with the pharmacy, my Heparin is on back order! (ARGH!) She's calling around to try and find some for us. And now I'm talking to the insurance company (again) about my Procardia, which they say is approved but the pharmacy has no record of that. And now (this is all literally happening while I'm trying to type this up. lol) the pharmacy has the approved order and can fill my Procardia prescription. (Yay!) Now it's back to our regularlly scheduled program of...that's right, hanging out on the couch! lol

I think the biggest thing to happen today will be the fact that my Procardia was filled! (Yay!) Now hopefully they will be able to find another pharmacy with Heparin in stock and I'll be all set.

2 down ~ 133 to go

Elliott Richard just had to go with his daddy. He doesn't let me go anywhere without him anymore. He was so sad and pitiful that I just couldn't leave him at home while I picked up Gavin.... No sooner did I pull away from the house then he fell asleep. He is just so perfect isn't he. My little angel....




I got to the school and his teacher came out and brought Gavin to us so I didn't need to wake up Elliott. Thank You for your help and concern....

Mr. Gavin had an awesome day at school today. We are so proud of him. We love you Gavin.

There isn't much news on the "Free Lizze From All This Crap" front. I have our attorney sending us the contract we all signed last year so I can have that as a frame of reference.

Our dear friend Mrs. B has found some information for us. We are going to contact an agency that advocates for women in this type a situation. So we will have to see what happens.

I am leaving now to go get Gavin from school.

Until Later.....

Not to be confused with "sleeping with the fishes". ;) lol

Lizze and I wanted to take some time and thank all of you we don't know. We have no idea who you are but you check in on us everyday. We thank you for taking the time to read about our lives. It means a lot to know that you are there.

We would love to here from you guys also. So, please, if your comfortable and feel up to it leave comments. Of course you don't have to but it is welcomed. (The Anonymous User is available for those of you who do not have Google/Gmail/Blogger accounts. You could always use that option and sign your name at the bottom of your comment, or not. ;) lol)

Thank You so much for all you thoughts, prayers and taking the time to stop by and check in on us.... It means a lot...

I had my meeting tonight and it went really, really well. Dr. P is 100% on board with us and is more then willing to donate her time to go to other counties if need be to ensure Gavin is safe. We are so grateful that for once someone is going to stand up for Gavin. Dr. P and Dr. R are amazing and we would be lost without them.... Thank you so much for all your time. Thank you for making Gavin your priority and not the adults in his life. This is all we have been fighting for. All we ever wanted was someone to look after Gavin's best interests and we have found that with his current doctors.

Also we wanted to thank Debbie and Marc for stopping by and hanging out today. Gavin had his very first friend come over today. I cried when I told this to people today because Gavin has never had friends. He has not had even 1 friend his entire life. Gavin played Lego Star Wars II with his friend today and it was simply amazing. Most parents take for granted the simple things that come easy. We were moved beyond explanation today watching Gavin play with his friend. We hope there are many more days were that came from.

It means alot to have friends we can rely on now. It has taken us a little time to get used to the idea because our trust has been misplaced so many times before. Thanks for everything. On a side note: make sure you let me know if you need help putting that wireless card in your computer. I can talk you through it over the phone if you have problems.

I also wanted to thank my parents for stopping by to check on us tonight. It meant so much to see you guys tonight. We really needed it. Thank You.

Last but certianlly not least. Thanks goes out again to Lizze's mom for taking Gavin for a little while. We will now hopefully be able to better shield him from our stress levels for a little bit. Thank You......


We love you all. Thank you for everything.

Rob has already posted but this is something new I'm going to start. I'm hoping it will help me to have something every day that I look forward to doing. Maybe then my sentence won't see like a lifetime. *crosses fingers*

So Bed Rest ~ Day 1 was interesting.

I woke up more nauseated than I've been in a month. Lisa, my Matria nurse came and I got my injection. My OB battled with the pharmacy twice - once over my syringes for my Heparin and once over my Procardia. (I still haven't started either medication and I really needed my Procardia today.) Canice, from the Wraparound Program, came out to see us and promised to help, even if she gets in trouble with her boss. (There are still good people willing to go out a limb to do the right thing.) I was served with papers from my ex-mother-in-law seeking to have me thrown in jail for no less than 30 days because I wouldn't/won't give in and give her what she wants - now or 3 years ago. (Can we say juvenile?! *rolls eyes*) My attorney began to show his true colors. I took a nap. My mother offered to take Gavin for a while. My best friend picked her son and Gavin up from school. Then she stayed to visit. (Thank you!)

The day isn't over yet but it's been pretty busy so far. There were things I was hoping to accomplish but didn't. There were things I didn't know needed done, that I was able to do.

These are some of the things I've learned:

• There are adults who care about me aside from my husband and mother.
• I have a best friend who is a true best friend. She gets the meaning of the term and it suits her perfectly.
• I can nap on the couch and still be aware enough to prevent Elliott Richard
  from rolling off the couch.
• Just like in life, there are good and bad people working customer service. I was fortunate today to deal with one of the good guys. The good guys are too few and far between, in my humble opinion.
• 14 inches of melting snow will find the weakest point/only leak and abuse it, causing as much damage as possible.
• Care packages are wonderful, uplifting things. Big, small...food or craft based, it doesn't matter. They all warm the heart by serving as a long term reminder that I am loved. Something that is easier to forget while trapped on the couch.
• Tiny loves it when I eat and seems to like 3 o'clock in the afternoon best.
• Gavin had his first playdate ever and everyone survived.
• My printer will always work, as long as I do not want to use it. As soon as I want to use it, the network will not allow me to do so.

Overall, it's been an interesting day.

1 down - 134 to go (assuming I make it to my due date)

Today was going to be a good day. My wife was getting the weekly visit from our nurse and we got to hear the baby. Happy to report, besides all the other problems tiny seems to be going really well..

At 10:30am this morning we had a very nice woman from the county wrap around program come to our house to help us with everything we have going on. She makes resources available for us and helps us to preserve the integrity of our family. They help find respite care for Gavin and help fund other things for us. They are very good people.

We were in the process of explaining what was going on and where we were now with all of the old court stuff. No sooner did we say that Gavin's father and grandmother had disappeared 8 months ago we got a knock at the door. We had a certified letter from the courts were they live. They are seeking to have my pregnant wife put in jail for something she didn't do. We can prove everything but we still have to make the 3 hour drive appear and defend ourselves.

The problem is that Lizze cannot appear in court for obvious reasons. The court date is set for May 5, 2008. It's really cut and dry, we did nothing wrong and we can easily prove it but this woman will not stop. We offered for her to see Gavin up here (which is all we are allowed to do)but she refuses to see him unless he goes to her house. Gavin really misses her and it breaks our heart to know she won't see her grandson unless it is on her terms. She has proven she cannot be trusted so all the doctors, case workers and the court said she gets supervised visits. Those visits were to only take place when the father set them up and he refuses to do that. So we offered to allow her to see Gavin even if the father wasn't involved(because Gavin has the right to see his family in a safe, controlled environment). We couldn't give her more if we wanted to because when we ended all the court stuff last year we all agreed to work together and that the doctors would decide if and when unsupervised visits would resume.

So we now have to go to court and defend my wife. We have been told that they may not allow her to stay home regardless of the risk to her life or the baby's. So if she doesn't show up she will be in contempt of court. We are going to try to get her a reprieve. Dr. D isn't going to allow her to go if he has anything to say about it.

We spoke with our attorney today and he may not be able to represent us anymore because of how much money we owe him. This whole thing has cost us over $50,000 we still owe about $37,000.00 and all of it is because of things like this. So we are in limbo at this point and have no idea what we are going to do. We have tried everything to work with her but she is simply impossible. We are willing to allow contact but not willing to put Gavin in danger. We have the complete support of all people involved up here, however she is trying to circumvent the system by going to another county.

I have a meeting with Gavin's therapist tonight and we will devise a plan of attack. Hopefully this will go away and his grandmother will be willing to see Gavin regardless of her personal inconvenience. We will keep you all posted...

Lizze's mother is going to take Gavin for awhile because Lizze and I are complete wrecks and we have to much on our plate. Gavin is so sensitive and will pick up on the stress and react accordingly. Gavin will have a good time and Grandma gets a better understanding of whats going on with him and she will be able to help shield him from some of this. Thank You so much mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please keep us in your prayers. We need them.... Thank You

Three 17P injections down! Woo whoo!

Lisa just left a little bit ago. She's so sweet. She always asks me how my week has been and then is so disappointed when she hears how crazy it was. I told her all about my emergency appointment with Dr. D last Tuesday. The contractions and whatnot on Saturday. The trip to L&D on Sunday. And my appointment with Dr. D yesterday. She suggested that maybe Dr. D would be willing to ask for a home monitor now to keep an eye on the contractions and irrititabilities. That way if my insurance fights us on it we can get it figured out by 24 weeks, which is when the monitor is usually started at home. Or if they don't fight it we can just start to monitor at home a few weeks early. Then she took my stats and gave me my injection. Pretty straight forward appointment today. Although she did tell me that she will be on vacation for the next two weeks!!! ACK!

Here are the stats from the morning:

BP: 120/70
Tiny's HB: 140bpm

I also spoke with Dr. D's nurse, Lori, about my Procardia prescription. He's angry at my pharmacy for "jepordizing the life of his patient because the pharmacist thinks she knows better than a doctor". So they are working that out.

I'm sorry this is such a lame post...I woke up extremely nauseated this morning so I took my Phenergan. Now I'm extremely exhausted.

Nathan posted about a mom who had made a list of "Mommy Things" that she wishes for Tricia. She then urged other moms to do the same, for Tricia. So Tricia, I've never met you face-to-face and I likely never will...but this is for you. *hugs*

Mommy Wishes for Tricia

• baby spit up - in your hair, on your clothes, and in your mouth - at
  3am.
• walking out the door with spit up all down the back of your shirt - only you
  don't know.
• standing at the pediatrician's office - signing in while juggling a diaper
  bag, baby carrier, insurance cards.
• the miracle of every new word and new milestone.
• walking downstairs (after you've been gone for 5 mins to pee) to hear
  "MOMMY" as if she was convinced you'd never return.
• the realization that you will never get to pee in peace again for the next
  decade.
• those rare moments with your darling husband sprinkled with intense
  listening for cries, squeaks, sneezes, coughes and general signs of no sleeping
  taking place.
• the tears shed during vaccines - your's not her's.
• the moment when she turns to you for comfort after those tears are shed - no
  one else will do.
• the first time she looks into your eyes and realizes that Mommy is sad and
  she hugs you before running off to play.
• that one show that you hate above all other children's shows is the one show that she loves above all else - no other show will do.
• falling sleep on the couch with her on your chest (watching the afore
  mentioned show and the remote is out of reach) but you wouldn't move for all the money in the world.
• the moment when you know there's a stinky diaper calling your name but when you call her name she runs (wobbly and arms flying) in the other direction - what a great game Mommy's invented!
• chasing her playfully through the house and scooping her up to shower her with kisses in the midst of giggles.

Tricia, I wish you all of these things and more. I wish that you know the extreme joy as well as the sorrows that come with parenthood. The love that threatens to overwhelm you and consume you at a moment's notice. I wish for you, a million and one kisses. I wish for you, the realization that you and Nathan created the miracle that will love you and break your heart in the blink of an eye.

I think we must have a big red target paint on us of something because it just never seems to end. We came home from the appointments today only to find that the roof above my office is leaking like a sieve. The carpet is soaked and the ceiling is collapsing. I spent the last hour and a half shoveling 14 inches of snow off of my roof to try and stop the water from coming through my ceiling. ARGGGGGGGGHHH

My office or "Man Cave" if you will, was my place to escape. Now it's raining all over my stuff......Hopefully with most of the snow gone it should stop by morning and I will have to climb back up there and try to find the leak and tar it once it drys enough. That should last until spring or summer when I can really tear into it.....

Defendant: Lizze
Charges: 1 Felony count preterm labor, 1 misdemeanor count placenta previa, 1 misdemeanor count of pressure, 1 misdemeanor count of cramping/contractions
Additional Info: Defendant has a history of 1 Felony count preterm labor leading to premature birth and 1 Felony count PROM (Premature Rupture Of Membranes)

Sentencing took place at 3:20 pm EST Monday March 10, 2008. Dr. D acting as residing judge/jury.

Sentence: Modified bed rest and general loss of freedom. Defendant shall also submit to twice daily injections, twice daily doses of medications and continue the weekly injections already sentenced by the courts. Defendant shall also submit monthly blood tests to track the proper administration of said injections and medications.

Duration: Defendant shall follow sentence until Wednesday, July 23, 2008 or the birth of 1 minor, Tiny, which ever comes first.

I had an appointment at 3:20pm today with Dr. D to discuss our "plan of attack". Starting tonight/tomorrow I am taking Procardia to help with the contractions and "irritabilities". My modified bed rest is now defined as "resting 90% of every day" which equals about 2 hours/day of movement permitted. I did the math...that's about 5 10-15 min bathroom breaks and 1 half hour shower (prep, shower and getting dressed included) per day. That leaves 15 mins for snack grabbing, sippy refills and other misc. Because of the bed rest, he has also started me on the blood thinner, Heparin, twice a day until further notice. He said he would have used Lovenox if we were sure that I was going to make it to 34 weeks. Since we don't have that guarantee, we are using Heparin because there is an antidote that can be given in case of emergency procedures. I also have to see him every week so that he can keep an eye on things. I had my blood drawn tonight to get a "base line" and I will have it redrawn once a month until Tiny is born to check my clotting factors.

I'm not sure how I feel about it all yet. Rob took me for my "last meal" after my appointment. Then we went to pick up the boys from his parents house (Thanks Mom, Dad and Kate!) since they had watched them while all this took place. We stayed for a brief visit since it would be my last trip out until next Tuesday when I go see Dr. D again.

If you are interested, here are the stats from my appointment:

Weight: 169 lb.
Tiny's HB: 156 bpm
Fundal Height: 21 cm

This is my care package still in the box. Before Elliott Richard realized there were "balls" in there. lol

These are all the goodies from my care package. Allow me to give you the run down: yarn (white, marroon, baby blue, and mauve), 3 different sets of knitting needles (the big orange ones are my favorites based on looks alone lol), 6 different crochet needles, 3 different sets of what appear to be connected knitting needles (these confuse me), 2 how to knit books, some yarn needles (in the pink packages), some yummy smelling samples of perfume and stuff (the one in the gold glitter package is my favorite), some Dove dark chocolates, a box of mints (I think) that say "Knitting Girl" on the tin, a card and a picture (both are going straight into the pregnancy journal). I haven't been able to really check everything out yet because Elliott Richard believes Merrilee sent the balls of yarn for him to throw and chase and unravel. (What fun!) So I stashed my goodies right after I took this picture (see his foot in the upper right corner - he's trying to steal my yarn!) and I'll look everything over later after Kate comes for the boys.

Thank you so much Merrilee! I can't express just how much this package lifted my spirits today.

Elliott Richard chillin' in my haven.
A better picture of my haven, which Elliott Richard snuck out of.

The black bag holds my puzzle books, magazines, and pregnancy journals/calendars. My laptop is on the table there in front. With my water bottle, date book (complete with calendar and contacts list), baby wipes (for mess and for diaper changes lol). Of course, I've got my Snoogle pillow all curled up on the couch with my fuzzy blanket to help keep me warm while I watch anything and everything that looks semi-entertaining on cable TV.

I figured since I will be spending most of my days for the remainder of the pregnancy on bed rest, which you'll probably be hearing about often; I should take some pictures to show you my set-up. Depending on how strict the bed rest becomes, I'm thinking of getting a lunch cooler to keep some snacks and drinks etc handy and making other modifications from there.

A black & white picture just for Rob. ;)
Elliott Richard snuggling with the belly while Mommy sleeps.
The "tear drop" shaped belly from the front. Wow, my hair is getting long!

I figured out this morning why Elliott Richard is so in love with the belly.

We were snuggling in bed this morning while I tried to work up the energy to drag myself out of bed. Elliott Richard discovered the belly, which let's face it isn't hard to do these days. lol So he shifted around so he could give the belly some "lovins" and this is the conversation that followed:

Mommy: Do you love that belly?
Elliott Richard: nods
Mommy: Is there a baby in the belly?
Elliott Richard: shakes his head "no"
Mommy: No?! What's in the belly then?
Elliott Richard: Toy. (in a very matter of fact, "Duh Mom" kind of way)
Mommy: *shocked* A toy?!
Elliott Richard: nods
Mommy: What kind of toy?
Elliott Richard: Car.

There you have it! Now we know why Elliott Richard is so invested in the belly. He's waiting for his really cool, new toy car to come out! lol

Okay, the boys are now home and passed out in bed. Rob is watching his Stargate movie. I am working my way through the shows I recorded today. Here's my account of the 4-5 hours we spent in the L&D this evening...

Starting late yesterday morning, early afternoon I began having 6 contractions in an hour inconsistantly. Meaning I could have 6 in one hour then 3 the next, on and on. Then on top of that, there was the pressure. If I sat for too long, the pressure would start. If I stood up, forget about it! The pressure was crazy and not a good sign. Problem was that with the "Ohio Blizzard of '08" we weren't able to get to L&D before this afternoon.

The city finally came through this morning and plowed the streets, effectively plowing us in! (THANK YOU FOR THAT! *insert sarcasm here*) I drank water, layed on my left side and waited to see if today was going to be a repeat of yesterday. It was. So around noon, I ate (because they always starve you in L&D) and took a shower and got dressed. Then I called and spoke with the nurse. She sent me to L&D. Once in L&D they took the "vitals" (see below) and hooked me up to the monitor to watch my contractions. The contractions I was feeling (and I mean feeling) weren't showing up on the monitor. But every 5-10 minutes I was having these little blips but the doctor said they weren't anything to worry about. My guess is that they were "irritabilities", which basically means that my uterus is kind of twitching but not accomplishing anything right now. That's good and bad. Good, because it's not accomplishing anything. Bad, because twitching is just bad in general. He checked me and said I wasn't dilating. Dr. D told him to order an ultrasound just to be sure though. The ultrasound showed everything just as it should be. (yay!)

In the end, they sent me home with orders to come back if anything changed drastically and to call Dr. D's office first thing in the morning. Dr. D wants to discuss a.s.a.p. what we do from here on out and the very real possibility of blood thinners and meds to stop the contractions and irritabilities. They don't want me to start my full modified bed rest before I start the blood thinners because they don't want another DVT like I had with Elliott Richard. We have a jam packed day tomorrow, without adding Dr. D to the mix, so I'll post as soon as I can when we know more.

Prayers would be greatly appreciated at this point. Pray that Tiny stays put. Pray that the contractions and irritabilities continue to be ineffective. Pray that I start the meds tomorrow and begin to get some relief and piece of mind that Rob and I so desperately need. A little extra sanity wouldn't hurt either. (I keep shopping around for some sanity but it seems everyone, every where is OUT! lol)

Weight: 169.5 lb
BP: 120/70
Tiny's HB: 125 bpm (via doppler)
Tiny's HB: 136 bpm (via ultrasound)
Pulse: 91 bpm

We just got home. The doctor said we have to see Dr. D in the morning. At this point Lizze will most likely start the meds this week to stop the contractions and prevent blood clots. Things will officially begin to get difficult now. We will post more later cause we need to get the kids back...


Rob

On our way to L&D again. Prayers will be much appreciated. Will update upon return.

"Disbelief"

(Did you say modified bed rest for 20+ weeks is in my future?!)

"Punch Drunk"

(Yeah, well you know what I have to say to that? Kiss it!)
"Sarcastic"

(Fine, see. I'm the perfect little pregnant woman, who needs a life.)

Just an update. Lizze is having about 5 contractions an hour. She is constantly cramped and feeling "pressure". This not very good. We have debated calling the hospital but there really isn't anything they can do at this point. Also we have 14 inches of snow keeping us from going anywhere. Our roads have not seen a plow yet. I am still not feeling good and I go out in sperts and try and dig us out but that puts me down for a few hours after.

I have informed Lizze that if it gets any worse then I will have to call 911 and get her to the hospital via ambulance. She has spent the past 2 days on complete bed rest because as soon as she get up the contractions hit really hard. I am not sure what we are going to do. The paramedic in me is screaming HOSPITAL. However the reality of it is nothing can really be done yet and it would be all but impossible to get there. It would have to be via ambulance. Dr. D said everything is ok so far and the contractions aren't causing any major problems at this point.

We were told to call if she starts having 6 per hour and we are really close to that. The more she rests the better off she is right now. I think we can make it to monday and then call Dr. D and see if he wants her to start the medications we have been waiting to start.

I think I am supposed to work Monday but I am not sure what I am going to do because Gavin has Dr. R and we have to go. Lizze shouldn't be doing anything.

Gavin is at her mom's. He is snowed in and won't be home until at least Sunday. That has helped because I know that would make things so much harder.....Thanks Mom..
I know it's a "challange" but we are grateful.

I will keep you all posted...

Thanks

That's a play on words of sorts from a standup commedien, Ron White. He does a bit called, "They call me...Tatter Salad". (Please keep in mind that Ron White is part of the "Blue Collar Comedy Tour" and they are hilarious but they aren't always...kid (or mother-in-law) friendly. ;) lol Also the audio works for this clip but the video didn't work for me, just an FYI.)

I'm slowly going stir crazy, already. I'm so uncomfortable, which doesn't bode well for the next 20 weeks. My RLS (Restless Leg Syndrome) is in full swing but I can't do the things I need to make it go away. I can't get up and walk or stretch on the stairs because of the pelvic pressure. I tried taking a warm bath to help with the RLS and in the hopes that a bath would relax me enough to give me a break in the cramps/contractions. No such luck. It didn't accomplish anything on either front. My legs are still "twitchy" and my cramps haven't given up. Elliott Richard has gotten really clingy over the past few days, which isn't helping either. He wants to be right on top of me, all the time.

Believe it or not there are people out there who think bed rest should be "easy". After all, we're just laying around, watching television and eating bon-bons; right? WRONG!!! Bed rest is un-nerving, emotionally and physically draining. Honestly, I'm not sure if it's the bed rest or the baby that sucks more out of me. Both literally and figuritively speaking, of course.

I've been cruising the net lately and I came across a blog written by a women while on bedrest. Okay, I've found two. Shannon is still on bed rest. Ashley also kept a blog while on bed rest but she's since given birth. Ashley's is so cute because each title is the Day of bed rest that she's on. That doesn't really work for me because I've been on "light-modified bed rest" for about 7 weeks. Now I'm moved to the more typical "modified bed rest". The only step left is "strict bed rest". For bed rest type definitions see below. Keep in mind these are the definitions as written for me by Dr. D and they may vary from case to case, doctor to doctor.

light-modified bed rest: brief trips out and about, no bending over, no
lifting, don't carry anything "heavier than my dinner plate" (especially lifting
and carrying Elliott Richard), light chores (dishes, loading washer and dryer,
sweeping etc), limited stair use, unlimited shower and bathroom privileges,
rest as much as possible without being a couch-potato

modified bed rest: limited trip out and about, still no bending, no
lifting, don't carry anything "heavier than my dinner plate" (still includes
Elliot Richard), no chores (light or otherwise), stairs are permitted but
frowned upon, brief shower and bathroom privileges, rest as much as possible (preferably on my left side while drinking water)

strict bed rest: the couch/bed is your home, you have no life, you leave
the house only to go to the OB's office, no stairs, forget about shower and
bathroom privileges, count your blessings if you aren't in the hospital

I've been having a lot of cramping and contractions today. I'm having 3-4 contractions an hour. I'm supposed to call once I have 4-6 an hour, so I'm still okay for now. Which is a good thing since there's about 3 inches of snow outside and we're due to get 5-8 inches before all is said and done. Needless to say, somedays I can get up more than others. Today isn't one of those days. I've been on the couch pretty much all day. It's not helping much, except the cramps get worse when I get up and move around...as does the pressure. So here I shall stay, at least for the rest of the day.

Gavin is at my mother's (Thanks Mom!) to spend the night - but realistically, he'll probably be there until Sunday because of the snow. He's excited about it and they have a huge hill for a front yard so at least he can go sledding. He'll have a blast and we'll get a brief break. It's win, win for everyone. ;)