Cheerio Confessions

This blog was started as a way for us to document our lives. This has been very therapeutic for us over the years. We are not writing to insight some type of riot or online warfare. We are not asking for anything. We write this for us. However it seems that there are a few ignorant people out there who can't keep their opinions to themselves. I would like to say that you quite obviously don't know how to read or you would know that this whole thing goes back 7 years. If you taken the time it took to post your comments and used that time to look back through our posts perhaps you would have realized there are details missing. This post was not meant for you. I was updating the people who have been following us for awhile and are familiar with what has been going on. I clearly said this was the "dime store version". If you had taken the time to read then you would know that everything that can be done has been done. You would know that the doctors and other professionals that were working for reunification have given up because not everyone likes to play by the rules. And just so you know, there is only one rule, Gavin comes first. You would know that not all families are the same. You erroneously lump everyone together in a very stereotypical fashion. Anyone with a thread of common sense would know that the system is not perfect. People slip through the cracks and yes, believe it or not there is corruption out there. I know that you don't like to admit that but in reality it is there whether you choose to see it or not. Honestly I don't even know why I am even dignifying you with a response but you have struck a nerve with me and I will speak my peace.

This blog, while public, is not intended for people like you to post cruel, arrogant and unintelligent responses simply to cause trouble or be hurtful. While we are grateful for you stopping by to peek into our lives we would appreciate it if you would TROLL somewhere else. This is in fact our actual life. I realise that it is difficult to believe but imagine what it is like for us to live it. While you may find this entertaining and an outlet for your obvious agenda we are all living through very difficult times. What we post here is true (believe me, at times I wish it wasn't)and while you are not privy to all the information, you will just have to accept that.
Did you even entertain the idea that this just may be really happening? Did you even stop to think that if this is really happening what our lives must be like? What Gavin's life must be like? If what's happening in our lives makes you that uncomfortable then please don't read about it.

I am sorry for whatever has happened to you in your life that has made you so angry and judgemental. However, we have done nothing to deserve your thoughtless comments. I quite honestly don't care whether you believe what you read here or not. We know what the truth is and that's all that matters. While I don't know you (anymore then you you know me)I do hope that your comments aren't a reflection of who you are as a person. I feel sorry for you and I truly hope your life improves and you can find something more fulfilling to do with your time.

We appreciate all the support we have received over the years and thank you all for your continued prayers. I also want to thank those of you that have defended us against these unwarranted attacks. We are proud to call you friends. I have never taken down a blogger comment or one of our posts before but I don't want this to get out of hand. We cling to this blog and I am more concerned with keeping it's integrity intact then entertaining the few that post comments looking to get attention. Let's move on and let them be.

Again I want to thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. They have made such a difference in our lives. We will always keep you in ours.

Thanks Again....

I've been thinking about calling Emmett John "Tiny Bubbles" because of the foam he's gotten so good at producing. There's even a song by Don Ho about "Tiny Bubbes"...how perfect!

Tiny Bubbles
words & music by Leon Pober
sung by Don Ho

Tiny bubbles (tiny bubbles)
In the wine (in the wine)
Make me happy (make me happy)
Make me feel fine (make me feel fine)

Tiny bubbles (tiny bubbles)
Make me warm all over
With a feeling that I'm gonna
Love you till the end of time

So here's to the golden moon
And here's to the silver sea
And mostly here's a toast
To you and me

So here's to the ginger lei
I give to you today
And here's a kiss
That will not fade away

Ah, true love and how it came to be...there are few things sweeter in life than a good love story. Don't you agree? Well, so do I. Here is the Story of how Rob and I met all those years ago. Then as a bonus, I'll tell you all of the ways we almost met and nearly did but didn't. :)

The Park (Coming Soon!)

The Fire (Coming Soon!)

The Engagement (Coming Soon!)

Our 1st Apartment (Coming Soon!)

I Do! (Coming Soon!)

Our Home (Coming Soon!)

***Bonus Content*** Coulda Been & Almost Was (Coming Soon!)

Our Support Teams

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

As I'm writing these, it's occuring to me that there is a lot you guys don't know about me and my history. So as I feel the need. As I feel okay with it...I am going to share my story with you as well. Who I am. Where I've been. What I've been through. What I'm going through.

Crazy (Coming Soon!)

Nick (Coming Soon!)

What is PTSD?

PTSD to Me (Coming Soon!)

What is Fibromyalgia?

Fibromyalgia to Me (Coming Soon!)

Who I was/Who I wanted to be (Coming Soon!)

Who I am now (Coming Soon!)

*All of those old reruns of ''Full House" are suddenly funny again. (Even though you know they aren't.)

*Likewise, the Olsen twins are cute again. (Again, even though you know they aren't.)

*You fall asleep in mid-sentence while talking to your hubby.

*You can't seem to win a single game of solitaire because all of the cards look alike.

*That *thump* you felt on your chest was the hand holding your Hostess snack cake falling on its way to your mouth because you fell asleep in the middle of eating it.

*After looking everywhere for your lost keys you find them...In the freezer.

*After looking everywhere for your lost cell phone you find it... clipped to your jeans (that you are currently wearing). (Notice a theme here? lol)

*Remember all of those movies and television shows you watched with your hubby? Yeah, I didn't think so.

*Where you once needed a dark and completely quiet room in order to sleep...you now only need to be still for a few moments - sitting, standing, laying, walking...position is irrelevant.

*You're so tired and its been so long since you've slept that your body has forgotten how to fall and stay asleep. (My current state...)

***These are all very true and have happened to me at least once lately.***

I'm laying on the couch watching cheesy reality television with my Tiny little space heater on my chest. This child puts out more heat than most furnaces! Seriously. So it occurred to me tonight that I posted we were going home and then I just jumped into picture mode (because it's the easiest way for me to post anymore). So now that I've made good on my promise of pictures it's time for me to update on Emmett John.

First, allow me to take a moment to thank those of you who have been praying for my Tiny. He needs all the help he can get at this point. With that said, Emmett John is actually doing really well.

The Respiratory Therapist came to the hospital at about 5:30pm yesterday. She took about a half an hour to teach Rob and I how to use the Home Apnea Monitor. Once we learned about all the different lights and alarms I nursed Emmett John and we were released at around 6:30 pm.

On our way home we stopped at the grocery store to pick up a few things. We had Emmett hooked up but opted to leave the monitor in the car since we would be with him. So of course, in keeping with the crappy luck this is our lives, he had an episode in the store but since he wasn't hooked up the monitor didn't record it. *sigh*

He's been hooked up from then on. We made it all night last night without any episodes and only one alarm because his leads came loose. (For a baby that doesn't sweat, these leads are sure sneaky and migrate really easily.) When we woke up I was freaked out at first because I had remembered the episodes but momentarily forgotten about the monitor so it scared me that he slept so well last night.

He made it most of the day without any issues too. Then this afternoon he was in his swing while I was updating some things on the blog. I heard him cough so I stopped and listened. Then I heard him cough again followed by gagging and choking. I can honestly say I haven't moved so fast in a very long time. I don't know how long the episode lasted. I know it was less than 20 seconds because the alarm didn't sound. I don't know if it was less than 16 seconds, which is the amount of time needed to trip the monitor to record. As horrible as I'm sure this sounds, I can only hope that the episode lasted at least 16 seconds so that Dr. H can see it and maybe find some answers. He sees Dr. H on Wednesday for his 2 month appointment so hopefully we'll know more then.

Other than that, he's had a pretty good day. As I write this, he's laying next to me on the couch trying to decide if he wants to smile and talk to me or fuss. Oops...sounds like he's chosen fuss. Gotta go.

These are pictures of Emmett John with his Apnea Monitor. Luckily, it's small enough that it's portable and easy to take every where he goes. I was worried that the pack part would be big and bulky like the Wallaby blanket box was.

We have our choice of two ways to use the monitor. We can keep it on him only when we have to leave him alone (ie in the swing, bouncy seat or while he sleeps). Or we can leave it on him all the time. Right now, I'm opting to leave it on all the time because I want to be sure that we catch whatever is going on. That way they can hopefully figure it out difinitively. Rather than stating what they "think it might be". As it is, we stopped at the grocery store yesterday on our way home from the hospital and decided to not use it since we would be with him. And of course, it happened while we were in the store. *sigh* So now he wears it all the time - except for bath time because that would be bad.

Mr. Emmett John and his monitor. The white one is on the right (white on right) and keeps track of his respirations. If he stops breathing for 16 seconds the monitor begins to record the episode. If he still isn't breathing after 20 seconds the alarm sounds. Believe me when I say that you can't miss this alarm. It hurts your ears and your head too for that matter. The black one is on the left (smoke over fire) and keeps track of his heartrate. If his heartrate drops below 80bpm or spikes above 220bpm the alarm will sound.

Emmett John checking out his new attachment. ;)

All dressed...can you find the wires? (Hint: They are not in his diaper. Wet diaper + electricity = super bad idea. And yes, the respiratory therapist said she tells everyone and she's had people actually question why it's a bad idea.)

Smiling Mr. Emmett John - he really doesn't seem to mind the wires too much. Although he is less than thrilled with the noise it makes. lol

More Brotherly Love

Emmett John (a.k.a. Captain Adorable) and his Rainbow

11lb. 13oz. of absolutely adorable chub and chunk!

Elliott Richard & Emmett John...Brotherly Love

Grandma & Pa-Pa G are on their way to pick-up Elliott Richard & Gavin so that Rob can come and pick Emmett John and I up. The Respiratory Therapist and our apnea monitor should be here in 1 hour at 5:30pm. After we learn how to use it...We are free to go! (Woo who!)

Our only medically related snag today is the fact that our insurance company apparently only pays for an apnea home monitor if the hospital staff witnesses an apnic episode. Since they haven't, insurance is fighting us. They'll pay for it in the end. And if they don't then I'll have a pretty hefty medical bill.

C'est la vie.

Elliott is ready for mommy and emmett to come home. He started cooking dinner.

Ah the joys of blogging from my phone...I accidentally sent the email/blog before I was finished.

Anyway. After using the monitor for a few days we will bring Emmett and monitor back in so they can download the information and review it. At that point Dr. H will decide if Emmett is okay or if he needs to be referred to the Apnea Clinic.

For now we are just hanging out. Emmett John is asleep on my shoulder. I'm watching reruns on bravo and having a pretty crappy day. (Lord knows I didn't have enough to worry about with Emmett in the hospital and having breathing issues - I need some family drama thrown in just for fun.) Thankfully, Emmett is doing really well.

Unfortunately, today is my cousin Sam's daughter, Sofia's 1st birthday party. I really wanted to go and take Elliott Richard and Emmett John. (Gavin and parties with large groups of people - especially with a lot of kids - don't mix well.) However, I obviously can't do that now that Emmett John is in the hospital and having health issues. Such is life the of a parent - so I know Sam will understand.

***Sorry we missed the fun, Sammers. I hope Sofia has a wonderful day. Happy 1st birthday Sofia!***

Honey,

Elliott and I are thinking of you guys.

Love Rob\Elliott

We're still here. Emmett John is doing well. He finally went back to sleep at about 6am, which allowed me tonal a few hours sleep...bringing my total grand to 3hrs! Woo who!

He hasn't had any more episodes of breathing issues. So the current plan of attack is to keep him until late afternoon, early evening. If during that time he still is incident- free they will discharge him with an apnea monitor.

Last night Rob and I made the decision for Rob to go home and be with Elliott Richard so that he could get some sleep and maintain his usual routine. This wasn't an easy choice by any means. I want Rob here with us. He wants to be here with us. However, Elliott Richard needed sleep and as his parents it was our responsibility to see that he got it. So they are at home while Mr. Emmett John and I are here in the hospital.

It's now nearly 3am. Emmett went to sleep at around 9pm. He slept through his 11pm feeding and then he finally woke up at 1:35am starving! I must admit it was nice to get a few hours sleep except he's not going back to sleep as easily as he went to sleep earlier. Of course he keeps setting the super sensitive alarms off, which makes sleep next to impossible. So now...2 hours later ...we are still awake.

Strike that. Our wonderful nurse, Cindy, just came in and turned his monitors down so he could sleep. (Yay!) So now his sleeping. Overall, he's doing really well and I'm thrilled to report that he hasn't had any more breathing issues or periods of gasping for air. Which is amazing and very encouraging.

With that, I leave you with these early morning pictures of our patient. Notice I even managed to catch him smiling (Just barely and yes, I know it's blurry. But he's still too stinking adorable even blurred. lol). And now I'm going to try and get some more sleep.

(Hi Daddy, Elliott Richard & Gavin! We love you! We miss you! We'll be home soon!)

I am writing this from my hospital bed in Emmett John's hospital room. He's been a fussy for few days so his ped, Dr. H increased his zantac dose yesterday. Then today he was still fussy. I actually had to wake him for a few feelings. The biggest concern were the 2 times he was gasping for air...trying to catch his breath.

We saw Dr. H at 4:30pm. Emmett John new weighs 12lb. 11oz! That's nearly a one pound gain since his appointment last week. Dr. H said the fussiness is probably reflux and a little tummy bug, which is giving Emmett John the runs. The missed feelings and gasping were his biggest concerns. Those concerns earned him the admission to the peds unit at the hospital.

So here we are. They are watching him on the monitors for the night. They are also keeping an eye on his intake (times he nurses) and output (diapers) to make sure the tummy bug doesn't dehydrate him. The current plan is to watch him tonight and send us home tomorrow with an apnea monitor. So long as no surprises happen tonight. I don't see a whole lot of sleep in my future tonight so I'll update if anything changes.

Okay, I should try and sleep now; while he's asleep since I don't know how long it will last. Oh and not only is my "Tiny" gaining nearly a pound a week but he's grown 3 inches in a month!!!! He's now 24.5 inches long! I swear he's going to pass Rob up at this rate!

Prayers (even though I'm still boycotting there's no need to punish Emmett John) and positive thoughts would be much appreciated. Thank you.

And here is Mr. Elliott Richard sportin' his new do! (It reminds me of Andy (the kid brother) on the 80's show "Family Ties".)

Smooches!

Er...cheese?

Silly boy!

There's my sweet little Twitterbug! :)

After he was mistaken for girl (again) Rob and I finally decided it was time to take the plunge and get his haircut. These are the pictures during his first haircut. (For before pictures, just click the "Elliott Richard" tag-link in the sidebar. There are even a few pictures just of his curls that I took in January, or there about.)

We took him to a local place that only cuts kids' hair. The inside is brightly decorated. They have toys to play with. Movies to watch. And cute little Merry-Go-Round animals to sit on. When I took Gavin there once (at about the same age - so before he really "changed") he absolutely HATED it. So I really wasn't sure what to expect from Elliott Richard.

He did beautifully! The only snag was that he refused to sit on a little animal. So he sat on my lap. Then he wanted nothing to do with the cape. So we both ended up covered in hair. It was a small price to pay for a hassle-free haircut.

(After shots are coming...)

Before

And away we go....