Cheerio Confessions

A- Attached or single: Attached

B- Best Friend(s): Rob & My Mommy

C- Cake or Pie: Cake

D- Day of Choice: Monday

E- Essential Item (s): Pop, journals, art supplies, pens, cell phone, PC

F-Favorite type of music: Christian and Country

G- Gummy Bears or Worms: Sour Patch Kids

H- Hometown: NE Ohio

I-Indulgence(s): pop, chocolate, art supplies, pens, journals

J- January or July: July (for mine and Tiny's birthdays) January (for the weather - I hate the HEAT!)

K- Kids: 2.5

L- Last movie: August Rush (awesome flick!)

M- Marriage Date: September 2003

N- Number of Siblings: 1 brother (2 - 1/2 sisters I don't have contact/relationships with)

O- Oranges or Apples: Both

P- Phobias or Fears: Small Spaces, needles, water, spiders

Q- Quote(s): Bad luck is something we endure. Good luck is something we create. ~ Bobby Kennedy

R- Reason To Smile: My family

S- Season: Spring

T- Tag : Nikky (because it's so much fun to mess with her lol), Julie, Slade, Apple

U- Unknown Fact About Me:

V-Vegetarian or Oppressor of Animals: I eat meat. Does that mean I'm an oppressor of animals?

W-Worst Habit: Procrastination

X- X-Rays or Ultrasounds: Ultrasounds

Y- Your Favorite Food: Mexican

Z- Zodiac: Cancer

89 down ~ 46 to go

Lizze and I wanted to take a minute and say thank you to Gavin's very "GIFTED", patient, kind and caring teachers (including staff). You know who you are... We would have been lost without you. Gavin has done so much better as your student then he ever has before. Thank you for your patients, understanding and compassion this past year. You are trully a credit to your perfession. We really hope we are woking with you again next year.There's a few containers of "box tops" in it for you... :) lol

Thanks Again for all your hard work. All of you have made a "HUGE" difference in our lives.....

Rob and Lizze

Today has been pretty uneventful thus far. My parents are taking the kids for a little while to go celebrate my Grandma G's birthday.... Happy Birthday Grandma...

We have only had 1 or 2 minor meltdowns today (Thank God). Mostly today is just not listening. It's not like he is ignoring us, or disobaying us. He is just lost in his own little world and so we are literally repeating ourselves a dozen times for everything.. It quite exhusting acctually. However, no violent tantrums so far... Great job Gavin!!!!!

Well we are going to try and rest while they are gone.

It has been asked by Anonymous "why do you all have ptsd?" I have it as a "parting gift" from my ex-husband and our previous disaster of a marriage. Rob has it from all the horrors he witnessed while saving lives as a firefighter/paramedic. Gavin has it...well, he's a minor and my son...so just take my word for it...he has it. His Autism actually puts him at an increased risk because he can't process the world around him, let alone tell; which makes him the "perfect victim". Elliott Richard doesn't have it. Thank God for small favors. (When I have more time, I may eloborate on my "parting gift". But seeing as how it's currently 11:07pm and I've been having wicked contractionns all day and Elliott has been super fusy...it can wait. Most of you know it already anyway and no one likes repeats. lol)

Thank you for the question.. :)

Good Night........

The first day of summer vacation has been a disaster. It started at 7am with Gavin beating on our door because he thought his TV wasn't working (even though he hadn't even turned it on, cause if he had he would have seen it was working). Then he beat on the door an hour later because we were sleeping to long, I guess.

I lost track of the meltdowns today. It started first thing this morning and continued until about 7pm this evening. I think Gavin scared the teller at the bank today because out of nowhere he started screaming and screaming as loud as he could. Then he started to lash out at Elliott who was trying to kiss it and make it better. Gavin hasn't listened ALL DAY LONG. I am losing my mind. Elliott is not feeling good again and keeps waking up and screaming and we are having a hard time comforting him..

Lizze isn't doing good. Her contractions are raging right now. Some are lasting pretty long and are really painful... We are living in our bedroom because we have a window air conditioner in there (Gavin can't stand the air so he hangs in his room). We have to keep the windows on the first floor closed because the people in our neighborhood are not nice and have zero class. They curse and yell and do drugs right outside my house. We cannot allow the kids to play out side in our fenced in yard because our neighborhood is going down the drain.

I keep wondering what kind of life we are giving our kids. It breaks my heart to see my family falling apart and I don't know what to do about it... Our quality of life is nothing anymore... I want so much more for my wife and kids but no matter what I do nothing works or something else happens and drags us right back down.

Elliott is screaming I got to go. Hopefully tomorrow is better....

I will keep you posted on Lizze's condition...

Well last night Elliott went to bed a little before 7pm. That was really good because he was tired. But we soon learned that he was tired because he was getting sick. He was up all night long, waking up every 30 mins or so crying. He woke up with a fever of 100 F. Another night with no sleep is par for the coarse.

Gavin seems to have slept better last night but was up by 6am and watching cartoons. We got of to school with to many problems. This is the last day of school for the summer and we are both on edge because we know what that is going to mean.

Lizze and I have been trying to figure what the sleeping arrangements are going to be for the Elliott and the baby. We are waiting to find out if Gavins MRDD rep was able to get us funding to increase our home security system so it will monitor Gavins room at night. At this point we don't feel comfortable putting Elliott in his room unless we lock Gavin in his (which we are also uncomfortable with)room at night. That brings up safety concerns for Gavin and it will also encourage him to use is carpet as a toilet again (WE DON"T WANT HIM TO START THAT AGAIN)...

Today my goal is to try to get the kitchen caught up (it fell apart with all the plumbing problems) and laundry done.

Lizze is resting but is in a tremendous amount of pain still. She is distracting herself by working on some greeting card orders she has in right now (thank you for the orders).

Elliott is feeling a little better and is all over the place once again.

I am going to keep setting small goals and try to accomplish them.

The mail just got here and still no check. Our economic stimulus check was supposed to be here by May 30th and we still haven't seen it yet. It is starting to make me nervous (but I am constantly on edge so that doesn't take much) because our income tax return direct deposit got lost this year and was delayed because of that... I just hope it shows up eventually...


That's all for now... More later....

I can't believe it's morning already. Last night seemed to go on....forever.


Elliott Richard is getting sick. He doesn't seem to have any symptoms other than a fever and a grumpy disposition at the moment. He didn't sleep for crap last night, which in turn means that we didn't sleep for crap either. We gave him some tylenol and he seems to slowly be making a come-back. Genetics seem to work in his favor here because Rob and I both tend to get sick and then recover pretty quick. (Rob just tends to get sicker since he doesn't get sick very often. Whereas I tend to get whatever it is to a lesser degree but I get it more often.)


I woke up feeling like I had a night of charlie horses in my right leg and uterus all night. I am so incredibly sore it's unreal to me right now. I don't know how I managed to sleep through a bunch of charlie horses but it feels as if I did. My stomach feels as if I was beaten on in my sleep. Rob keeps asking me if I need to call Dr. D's office because I'm in so much pain and discomfort at the moment. I don't think I'm in labor or anything. It's probably just normal pregnancy related torture. (Thank you, Tiny.)


Today is officially the last day of school. I honestly can't take the time to feel overwhelmed at the idea of Gavin home all day everyday.


87 down ~ 48 to go

I started this post a few days ago and I really struggled with this. I don't know if this will make any sense but it has been swimming around in my head and I needed to get it out.....

First of all I wanted to express our many thanks to all you out there that come by and visit us here, or at our card store. I cannot begin to explain to you how good it feels to know there are still caring people out there. Most of you don't know us outside of this blog but still choose to leave kind words and encouragement. Your kindness is so very appreciated. We have been living through some very difficult times for the past 7 or 8 years now. It's comforting to know people care....We will forever be grateful for your thoughts and prayers..Please know we keep all of you in ours....

Secondly I would like to re-emphasize the purpose of this blog. As I said earlier we are living and have been living through some very difficult times. We have been defending ourselves and Gavin (our 8 year old with Autism/bipolar disorder/adhd/ptsd/ocd and sensory integration disorder) from his drug and alcohol addicted father and abusive grandmother. They have been waging war on us for almost 7 years now. Even with EVERY doctor,caseworker and teacher 150% behind us, we still cannot stop the barrage of contempt motions and the psychological warfare from continuing. These attempts never go anywhere but we still have to go to court to address them. Currently there are 2 motions pending to have Lizze put in jail for up to 60 days. Again they CANNOT win but we still have to drive 2 hrs to appear in court in another part of the state and pay our attorney a crap load of money we don't have just to make this go away only for it to happen again. Lizze has been on bed rest for many months now and the stress of all this stuff doesn't help. Our attorney along with her doctor told the court that if forced to appear in court now, it could very well kill her and or the baby. The court then had to force a continuance because her ex mother and law refused to postpone court till after the pregnancy despite knowing what could happened to Lizze or our unborn son. In the end Lizze was granted about 5 days recover from labor and delivery before she must appear in court and deal with this stuff. We are hoping this will be the very last time we are put through this and we intend to close any possible loop hole that may exist to ensure this cannot continue to happen in the future.

Gavin.....

Gavin is a sweet, compassionate child with a huge heart and spirit. Gavin is also Autistic and Bipolar (just to name a few). He is struggling with every single aspect of life right now. He is severely regressed and best we can figure he is somewhere between 2 and 4 years of age emotionally. He cannot handle anything anymore. He is violent to himself and his little brother. We cannot allow them to play together because Gavin can snap in a second. Gavin is a good kid but is troubled. We have exhausted all our resources (physically, emotionally and financially)trying to protect him and ensure early intervention for his disorders. We are doing everything we can to ensure he has a good life and as bright a future as possible. Unfortunately, right now there is nothing more we can do for Gavin because he has so many problems we have to wait until he cycles down and we can pick them apart and see what is what. The most painful part is now our lives have been reduced to "ensuring the health of the healthy". The various Doctors we see have all told us that the only thing we can do at this point and for the foreseeable future is to "Physically Survive". We can no longer pour everything into Gavin because we have other kids to worry about now.

The best way to explain it is like this: Think of all of us as bank accounts. Gavin's account is always in the negative no matter how much we deposit. Elliott has a growing balance and retains anything we can give him. Lizze and I have over the years "spent" or "deposited" all our money into Gavin's account. No matter how much we deposit into Gavin's account it will never have a positive balance (at least at this point). Over the many years we have been doing this we have been beaten down so many times that we have lost all our money. What very little we have left has to be divided up between everyone. However, there isn't enough to go around. So with what little we have left, we have to figure out how to "spend" it. As I stated earlier we have been advised by the doctors to "invest" the money into Elliott and the baby because they will benefit from our efforts. This again is because no matter what we do we cannot fix Gavin. If we continued to pour money into Gavins account then Elliott and the baby would be negatively effected and we cannot allow that.

I know this sounds bad and unless your in our shoes it might not make any sense. I know some of you out there know what we are talking about. All we can do for Gavin at this time is Love him, care for him, keep him from hurting himself or others and keep trudging along. However we are to the point where residential treatment is once again being kicked around. Our family is crumbling under the years of trauma, stress and pressure. Our health is going down the drain. Pattie said she cannot believe we have made it this far for this long. She said we "HAD" to get immediate relief or we would completely fall apart and whats left of our family could be lost. She said it wasn't a matter of "if" but "when".
We had to make one of the most difficult decisions of our life. We sent Gavin to stay with Lizze's parents. My parents picked him up from school and her mom took him after work and then to school in the morning. They have been doing this for 6 or 8 weeks now. This has helped Lizze get through the past 6 or 8 weeks of the pregnancy. Gavin is in a kind loving environment and was shielded from all the stress from the pregnancy and the court things... It was the lesser of 2 evils.However, not a day goes by that we don't feel like complete failures as parents. We are reassured by his therapist Pattie that we have done "absolutely everything we can" and now we have to survive. We are and have been for a while at the point where we are having to choose between our kids. Gavin does not tolerate Elliott very often anymore. Elliott has been hit, pushed, screamed at and kicked across the floor for simply touching Gavin. Elliott is paying a very high and we owe it to him to continue to protect him from that. We have to ensure that Elliott has a safe and loving home and the only way we can do that with Gavin there is to keep them seperated. That is very difficult and not always possible. Elliott still has his toddler bed in the corner of our room because it's not safe for him to be in his own room unless we lock Gavin in his at night.
School is out for the summer this Thursday and Gavin will be back home full time again and I don't know what we are going to do.

If all this wasn't enough all of this has taken its toll on our health. Lizze has been diagnosed with fibromyalgia (due to the extreme amount of long term stress and trauma), ptsd, depression and a few other things. Her body has basically turned on itself. I am suffering from a career ending back injury,ptsd,depression and degenerative disc through out my spine. Lizze and I both live in constant physical pain every single day. It makes things so much more difficult to deal with. However we push through it and do what we need to do for our family...

Wow I got off track...
Sorry about all that the flood gates opened....

SOOOOOOOO, back to the point...

This blog is our ONLY outlet. Over the past few months we have had the honor of meeting some really kind people on our blog. It has been very therapeutic to be able to use this as a forum to vent our frustrations with the major setbacks and share our miracle moments also.. We spent years keeping this all to ourselves and "sugar coating" everything because we knew its was to overwhelming for people to hear about. Since then we have come to the realization that it doesn't help us much to hide all this. So now we use this as a (most of the time) journal of our daily trials. I am sorry if anyone felt like we had different motives (ie looking for free stuff or money or anything else like that). I want to make it clear this blog is here for us to tell our story and that's it...
We have been overwhelmed by all of your thoughts and prayers, and honestly, sometimes that's all that gets us though the day. Through this blog we have found that there are indeed kind, selfless, compassionate people still left in the world and they seem to have migrated here. We are asked many times by people how they can help. Honestly, we aren't looking for anything. Your thoughts and prayers are more then we could ever have asked for or even imagined. But to honestly answer those who are asking to do more, you can feel free to visit our card store. Lizze has opened a greeting card store in an attempt to help us finacially make ends meet. So if you need a card just check her store out or pass the link along. This store is hopefully going to help us to continue to survive. Again, PLEASE don't feel you have to do anything. All we humbly ask for is your continued thoughts and prayers.

My head hurts and I need to make dinner. I hope this made sense. It sounded right in my head but that doesn't mean anything anymore...

Thank You for your support.
Please know that we keep all of you in our thoughts and prayers each day.

What Tiny is up to this week: For all the weight and bulk you’re lugging around these days, you’d think your little champ should weigh much more than a mere 5 lbs and measly 17 inches in height, but nope, that’s about the average size for a baby in its thirty-third week. In terms of appearances, they’re getting cuter and pudgier every minute as they pile on the baby fat for those adorable little wrist rolls and chubby toes. And as we’re sure you’ve already noticed they’re getting stronger with every passing day. Nowadays, it’s possible to observe a well-placed kick just by watching your belly—but you already knew that didn’t you? Although they’re getting stronger, your bigger-by-the-day baby is losing space to move around, so the actual rate of movement will drop off in the last few weeks, despite that powerful drop-kick they’ve been working on. Hey, did you know you’ll continue feeling their movements even during labor?

As you can see from the sidebar, Tiny has gone back to Tiny because we can't decide on a name. Again. *sigh*

It's shaping up to be "one of those days".

I should have known when I woke up 5:30 - 6:00am with a charlie horse so bad that all I could do was cry, that it wasn't likely to be a good day. Poor Rob asking me which leg it was so that he could rub it but I couldn't even talk I was in so much pain. After that charlie horse went away, I had...I'm not sure what it was. It felt like a charlie horse only it was in my uterus not my legs. By the time I worked my way through all of those, it was time to get up and get Gavin ready for school.

That's when the fun really began! When we got up, Gavin was already awake and watching cartoons when I stumbled out of the bedroom at 7:30-ish. When Rob asked him to get dressed and put his socks on, Gavin lost it. He started screaming how we woke him up (we didn't), we were mean (we try not to be), he hated his life (we're doing our jobs as parents then). On and on he went. I can't wait for the last day of school tomorrow. Then he'll be home with us all day, every day. (Um...yay?)

86 down ~ 49 to go

Just got home from my NST, BPP and appointment with Dr. D. Things went well. (Yay!) We had the BPP first. Tiny is looking good. She didn't take measurements because she does those every two weeks and we just measured him on Thursday. So he'll get measured next week at the hospital. He was such a trooper. Breathing as soon as we started and then breathing through the whole BPP. He was moving his hands and fingers around. He's still head down and from what I can tell "locked and loaded". Barb was trying to get us a picture of his profile and it was so cute because the umbilical cord was right in front of his mouth (the cord looks like bubbles on an ultrasound) and Tiny had his lips puckered so it looked like he was blowing bubbles! (lol) Barb tried to get a picture of it for us but she couldn't get a good one because my hip bone was in the way (that's how far "head down" he is!). It was so cute to see though. So Tiny passed his BPP with flying colors again. (Double yay!)

After the BPP we had the NST. I passed even though I had 3 contractions during the half hour test. Tiny was moving around and his heartrate was having all the appropriate decells and whatnot. I think he only moves because the monitors on my belly make him so angry; other wise I don't know that he'd move that much. (lol) Those 3 contractions were kicking my butt though. It was bad enough that I woke up with morning sickness again this morning. Then the contractions were making my back hurt and giving me cramps. It sucked.

Once we finished up with the NST we got to see Dr. D for a minutes. I asked him about the return of the evil morning sickness. He said it was normal. I told him I have been taking my phenergan for it. He said, "Oh the 12.5mg?" I laughed and told him that I was taking the full 25 mg and I was lucky if that took the edge off, forget about getting rid of it. (lol)

Now we just hang out until next week. I have to go to the hospital next Wednesday for my BPP and NST because Barb is on vacation. Then I see Dr. D on Thursday to go over the results. (Yay!) I can't wait to see how much he's grown in two weeks. :)

The Stats
Weight: 179lb
at least I managed to maintain my weight with the return of the morning sickness)BP: 96/63
Tiny's Heartrate: 137bpm
Fundal Height: 33 cm
(right on target which is good considering he's already head down and locked in place)
BPP: Passed
NST: Passed (only 3 contractions)

After we finished up at Dr. D's office we had to stop and pay a bill. Then Rob took me for Chic-Fil-A on our way back to Mom and Dad G's to pick up Elliott Richard. (It was being delivered to Dr. D's office as we were leaving and it smelled heavenly!) We hung out at Mom's for a little while. I finished off my lunch. Elliott Richard took bites from each end of his kickin' strips. Then we headed for school to pick Gavin up.

I admit it. I cheated. I went in to the school and said Hi to everyone. It was so great to be there! I can't even tell you how much I have missed picking Gavin up and seeing everyone 5 days a week. That was by far the best "pick me up" I've had in a while. (Not that the sprinkle wasn't an awesome "pick me up" because it was. It was just different.) Plus, not to sound completely narcissistic here but it was nice just to be missed. (lol)

Now I'm back at home with my feet up. Just like I'm supposed to be. I'm trying to listen to the radio on the internet but they are being difficult! The only one I can get to work is MSN/Pandora's and they don't have a very large selection. It's mostly mainstream rock/pop/r&B stuff, which I don't really care for. I was looking for a good christian pop station but they don't seem to exist. :(

Lisa just left. Only 3 more 17P injections to go! (Woo who!) Apparently since my 18th shot would have fallen on 36 weeks and 6 days my insurance company doesn't see the benefit. Dr. D agrees so it's all good. Plus let's face it, it's one less shot for me! (Yay!)

The Stats
BP: 100/60
Tiny's Heartrate: 130bpm

I've got an appointment at 10:20am for my weekly BPP and NST. I can't wait to see Tiny again! :) Hopefully we pass with flying colors again.

I need to scan last weeks BPP pics and post them. I also have some of the sprinkle pictures ready but I need to upload them before I can post them. Maybe I'll get it all done this afternoon.

You know for a woman on bed rest, you'd think I'd have plenty of time to get all this done. But you'd be surprised how much I have to do. And how difficult it is to do most of it on bed rest.

85 days down ~ 50 to go
13 injections down ~ 4 to go
12 weeks down ~ 6 to go

I had my sprinkle today. It was so much fun. I had an absolute blast just seeing my cousins. As we've all grown up we've each gone our different ways. As we should. But that's definitely made it difficult to hang out etc. I miss them all greatly. And I loved seeing them and catching up with them.

Wonderful company. Good food. What more could a pregnant gal on bed rest ask for?

(I'll post a more detailed update with lots of pictures tomorrow. For now my morning sickness has returnhed and brought a migraine for company. So I'm going to veg and watch "Andromeda strain" with Rob.)

Hi! Welcome to my blog. :)

I just wanted to take a moment to let you know that I have nothing but respect for you guys. And I would have loved to go with the Roto-Rooter guy who came and gave us an estimate, however, it honestly came down to a matter of money. We need to be able to pay the bills and buy diapers so the difference of $200.00 is a HUGE difference to us. If money were no object, I would have loved to have Roto-Rooter snake the line and "make it like new", as well, as had them replace the entire soil stack and plumbing int the full-bath on the 2nd floor. But that just wasn't feasable.

Thank you for your advice and input. I hope you'll come back and visit us again. I have a feeling that this drama will be on-going for quiet a while. :) lol

Seriously. I quit. I'm done. I want out. I want a new life. If anyone knows of any crimes I can witness that will get us into the Witness Protection Program...please let me know. Because right now, that's the only way I see out of this disaster.

So far we have spent $400.00 on trying to fix this disaster that passes for a "house". When last I updated on "The Leak" we were trying to figure out how we were going to afford to replace 2 toilets for an additional $400.00. Apparently, once again, that was the least of our concerns.

After the guy snaked the lines everything was running much better. We breathed a sigh of relief. We dared to think that maybe, just maybe our luck was beginning to turn around. Maybe the rain was going to stop and things were going to get better. *insert insane laughter here* Yeah, right. That might happen if we were talking about someone else's life. But this is MY LIFE. The life where things rarely go as they should. Where the sh*t storms last for weeks and months at a time. This is my life, where "bad" people do bad things and good people get the crap that bad people deserve.

Then we woke up this morning. We used the bathroom because it was fixed, right? WRONG. WRONG. WRONG.

We flushed the toilet twice and everything was working fine. After the third person flushed, everything came back up. When I say everything, I mean everything. The toilet over-flowed so there's stuff on the floor, which happens to be carpeted for reasons beyond my understanding. Stuff flowed back up into the bathtub. And we think, although we aren't sure, that stuff came up/down from somewhere in the 1/2 bath on the first floor. Which means that snaking the line didn't help the issue. Granted, it needed done anyway. However, financially we only can "afford" to what absolutely must be done. And I use the term "afford" very loosely here.

We are, quite literally, drowning in crap at the moment.

*side note* Does anyone know where my slightly altered quote in my title of this blog came from? It's a movie that I haven't watched since my partying days but the quote fits. (It's supposed to be "F*ck you." rather than "Forget you" but I'm trying not to cuss anymore. So "forget you" it is.)

No, I did not have a nervous breakdown. Although, truthfully, I prayed for one all day yesterday. I prayed for the chance to breakdown. Shut down. Unplug. I was (and still am to some extent) so incredibly over-whelmed it is absolutely unreal to me.

I spend yesterday with absolutely no appetite and feeling as if I were on the verge of a panic attack (something I haven't had it ages). I kept trying to "let go" just enough so that I could have the panic attack and get it over with. If you've had a panic attack (or many), then you understand what I'm talking about. The build up, the slow decent into the actual panic attack is far worse than the panic attack itself. My whole body feels as if it's electrically charged. My heart feels like it is going to literally beat right out of my chest. It's the whole fight or flight response. Only if I don't have the actual panic attack, I never get the end result, which means I'm stuck in fight or flight. While some people may be adrenaline junks and always chasing that "high", I am not one of those people. I prefer to be calm and laid back. (And yes, I realize that me preferring to be calm and laid back contradicts the fact that I have ADHD and am constantly on the go. But being "driven" by ADHD and being "driven" by adrenaline are two completely different things.) I spent a lot of yesterday crying. Mainly because I didn't know what else to and because of the pain in my back.

Rob, bless his heart, tried so hard to distract me and help me. But there are times when I can't be helped. No one can lead me through the "crap" but me. And I just wasn't in the mood to wade through anymore crap. (Afterall, I have more than enough of that in my walls. ;) lol) He put the window AC in our bedroom window. He went to the store for milk and juice and brought me home a rootbeer and some ice cream. He played "Bio Shock". But I just didn't want anything to do with any of it.

Then to rub some salt in my wounds, my satellite DVR box is fried. Julie and Susan will understand exactly what this means for me. My TV is my main source of sanity at the moment. (And let's face it, sanity is something that seems to be slipping through my fingers at an alarming rate these days.) I have a DVR full of shows that I want to watch. Nothing doing. I can't use any of the DVR features. I have to watch live TV. *shivers at the thought* (lol)

I love my life. I love my life. I love my life....

83 down ~ 52 to go

I'm tired of being strong. I want to breakdown like everyone else. I want to shut down. Shut off. Unplug. I'm tired of being sh*t on. (haha I made a funny. Too bad I don't feel much like laughing.)

"The Leak" was apparently the tip of the iceberg.

After spending $200.00 to fix that, we find out the whole sewage line is clogged. The only reason it's been working (for the past 5 years we've lived here!!!) is because of the 3 ft crack that was allowing "stuff" (use your imagination as to what exactly "stuff" is) out into the walls. Now since the crack is gone, the stuff has no other way out. The line is completely clogged. Rendering everything unusable. Toilets - unusable. Sinks - unusable. Washing machine - unusable. Bath tub/shower - unusable. So we had to pay another $200.00 to have the line snaked. (That's $400.00 total so far, that we didn't have. If you are keeping track.)

For the curious, here's what happens when the soil stack/sewage line is clogged. You flush the toilet in our 2nd floor full bathroom (toilet, sink, tub) - the sewage comes up into the tub. (Nice, huh?) You flush the toilet in the 1/2 bath (toilet and a sink) on the 1st floor - the sewage leaks into the basement. You turn on the washer - all sorts of lovely stuff floods the basement.

So the guy Dad G uses comes out. He taps on the cap to get to the line to snake it. The cap and a piece of pipe just fall off because the pipes are so rusted. He tells Rob that from what he can see, there has never been plumbing upkeep done on our house. The snaking will not hold for long. (The Roto Rooter guy quoted us $600.00 to snake the entire line. Making it "like new". The guy we used snaked a path through the...stuff. I'm sorry but if we don't really have the $400.00...we definitely don't have $800.00!)

The toilets are original to the house. Making them nearly 105 years old if they were put in when then house was built. Now we learn those need replaced as well. They are $200.00 a piece. (Putting the grand total at $800.00 not including tax.)

We need out of this house. This money pit. This Hell-hole!

I don't see how though. We will never get financed for a house. We don't have a down payment. Because of Gavin's "something more" we can't live in an apartment because even if the neighbors are understanding at first. Their patience will wear thin and we will wear out our welcome. I don't know where we will go. Or what we will do.

I'm honestly having a hard time holding my tongue at the moment. But Rob has asked me to do just that, for the sake of sanity...so I will. Out of love and respect for my husband, I hold my tongue.

It's true what they say; ignorance is bliss. I wish I were ignorant too. I could use some bliss right about now...

This will be a pity party post. It will not be happy or upbeat. Most likely, it will be bitter and sarcastic. You have been warned.

So I posted the other day about "The Leak". Rob and Dad G were able to fix it. (Yay!) It cost us around $200.00 (Boo!) but that's still better than the $5,000.00. (Yay!) Of course, they didn't replace everything. They just replaced the busted out portion. They even managed to fix the wiring so that I have power in my upstairs bathroom. (Yay!) Not that it matters now because the whole sewage line is backed up. (Ew!) When you flush the upstairs toilet it comes out in the bathtub. (Double ew!) When you flush the toilet in the half-bath on the first floor, the whole basement backs up. (Triple ew!)

This whole thing is just gross and disgusting. Not to mention so not what I need right now.

My back is killing me. I now have sciatic pain shootin down both legs and up my spine if I dare to move. I've been taking my medications that are supposed to help. They don't help. They dope me up pretty good so I don't care quite as much about the pain. But the pain is still there. I really hope this pain goes away after Tiny is here. It should. Although I already have arthritis in my back so there's a chance that this stirred all that up. *sigh*

Tomorrow is my sprinkle. I can't do laundry. I don't think I can take a shower right now either. On the bright side, the sprinkle is at my Aunties Paula's house and I can take a shower there if need be. The Roto-Rooter guy is coming some time between now (9:56am) and noon to give an estimate on "The Leak Part Deux". Rob has to go to the grocery store. And Gavin needs to come home from my mom's at some point. I love my life. *sigh*

82 down ~ 53 to go

Today "Sex and the City" movie is showing in theaters everywhere. I have been waiting for this movie for...ages! Sadly, I will not get to go. I have seriously over done things this week and my sprinkle is Sunday...so I really need to just stay down for the next few days. Plus there's the added issue of my sciatic pain is now in both legs at the same time. So I don't know that I would even be able to sit for a full movie without crying. Rob offered to watch it for me and report back. He was kidding but I know he'd do it if I asked. But that's not the same thing.

Oh well, just another thing to add to my "Things I've Missed While on Bed Rest" list. *sigh*

Pretty quiet day.

Rob and Dad G worked on "The Leak" until about 11:00pm last night. We had a bit of a scare at one point...While Dad was cutting through the soil stack he found an "electrifying" surprise. Apparently at some point a previous owner had run some electrical wiring up the back of the soil stack. While cutting the soil stack Dad G also cut the wires! Flippin' idiots! (Whoever ran the wires there. Not Dad G.) Then the problem was that now we had this leak and these sliced, exposed wires! Not a good combo. So Rob and Dad went and found the wires and capped them off to remove the risk. We were definitely lucky though.

"The Leak" is also far worse than we originally thought. It's not a "leak" so much as a 3 foot CRACK splitting the side of the pipe! They were concerned at one point that the crack extended farther down into the wall than they could reach. Luckily, it stopped just shy of "the point of no return". Now Dad G is back and hopefully they are going to be able to finish the repairs tonight. Although it won't help me much since the cut wires supplied power to the bathroom. I swear if it's not one thing, it's another.

We had our first BPP today at 3:00pm. I read up on BPP's yesterday but I still kind of figured they were just another ultrasound. Nope. Barb, the ultrasound tech at Dr. D's office, said that Tiny had 30 minutes to practice breathing twice for 30 seconds each time, show us 3 good movements, have some good accelerations in his heartrate and have plenty of fluid. Barb said we would sit there until we'd seen everything or 30 minutes had passed, which ever came first. Unfortunately, Rob missed most of the ultrasound because my mom was late picking up Elliott Richard. He'll get to see the rest of them though.

It was actually really cool. Tiny has just the right amount of fluid. (Yay!) He was breathing when she started and he didn't stop the entire time! (Yay!) She said it isn't breathing like we do but it helps him prep the right muscles for after birth. It was really cool to watch his little chest rise and fall. I'd never seen that before in an ultrasound. And while it's not an indicator of lung development, it's definitely a good sign! :)

Then she measured his belly, head and femur. According to his measurements he is the size of a 34 week old fetus (he's 32 weeks 1 day). She figured out that he weighed 4 lb 11oz!!! The average for a 32 week fetus is 3 lb 12 oz. So he's almost a full pound ahead! And here I was worried because my fundal height hadn't changed and I've been struggling to gain weight that he might measure small. Turns out he's been keeping all the weight for himself. (lol)

After she measured him, she watched for the movements. I think he only moved because she was poking him and he hates that. (lol) She didn't give us his score but she did say that had passed with flying colors.

Then we spent a little bit of time just checking out what Tiny looks like since Rob got a late start. She gave us 3 pictures, which I need to upload. One picture is of his foot, which was planted in my right ribs (he's head down just like we thought but she said there's a chance he may pop back out). The second picture is of his face looking at us. We even got to see his eye moving while we were looking at his face. (Very cool.) And the third picture is just of his nose and lips. You can see his tiny little squishie nose (who knew my squishie nose would turn out to be a dominant trait?! lol) and his lips! Seriously, we could see his lips all puckered up as if he wanted a kiss. It's too freaking cute!

We go back on Tuesday for our next NST and BPP. She said she won't measure his weight every week because there usually isn't much change. But they do these NST's and BPP's because of my thrombo-something (the reason I develop the blood clots and have to have the Heparin injections). She said the thrombo-whatever it is could cause Tiny to not get enough blood and nutrients through the umbilical cord. So once a week we get to see Tiny. I can't wait! :)

While we were spying on Tiny, my mom took Elliott Richard to pickup my Grammy for ice cream. Then she brought him home. He had fun and it was good for him to get out of the house and see his grandmas for a bit.

*Leak Update* Dad just finished cutting the piece out. He showed it to me once they removed it and it's *obvious* that this leak has been going on for *ages*. The crack appears to be 1/4 - 1/2 inch wide in some spots! That's just insanity! I can't wait for them to finish because this pregnant woman has got to pee! (lol) And Tiny's break dancing is NOT helping.

80 down ~ 55 to go (I think...)