Cheerio Confessions

Not for us.

Please pray for Angie and her family as they work their way through this difficult time.

Okay so I usually try and take my bed rest very seriously. Really, I do. But I've been struggling this week.

Sunday - I was good.

Monay - Was Memorial Day and we went to Mom & Dad G's house for a family cookout. I behaved. Really, I did. I only got up to pee or change location. I swear I only changed location twice. About 75% of the day was spent in Dad's super comfy Lazy Boy recliner with my feet up watching others play Wii or playing (from the Lazy Boy) with them.

Tuesday - Lisa came. Dropped Elliott Richard at Mom G's. Saw Dr. D. Visited at Mom G's for a while. Again from a reclining chair with my feet up. Came home and hung out in a funky mood. Went to dinner (got up twice to get food but I would have been up that much at home). Went to Pat Catan's (a locally owned craft store) and walked way more than I should have. Came home. Put Elliott to bed. Took my meds for my back and passed out at about 9-10:00pm.

Today - Got up a totally grump from lack of sleep and loads of pain. Took meds at lunch. Took a nap for 2 hours or so. Got up and helped Rob pickup before Dad G got here to investigate "The Leak". Transferred items (food, toys etc) needed for sanity upstairs to the bedroom. Relocated from living room to bedroom with Elliott Richard and Cleo. Oh and Gavin is also home tonight because my little brother has an awards ceremony tonight. So he's all setup in his room. (Thank God we had satellite installed in there!) Once in the bedroom I began refolding laundry that had become unfolded and putting it away. While Elliott has been playing with toys.

So yes, I supposed that's *technically* considered over-doing it. But at least the laundry is folded and put away. Well, the laundry that has been outgrown and now needs packed away.

Every day I *swear* I'm going to stay down all day. And every day I end up doing things that are definitely probably considered "over-doing it".

As I write this (on my phone) Rob and his dad are tearing into my walls. Examining the extent of the damage from "The Leak". It's bad. Real bad. Far worse than we thought. They left for Home Depot a little bit ago to get the part to patch it. Rob is hopeful that even with it beginning as bad as it is, it's still within reach to be patched. I hope so because until it's fixed, we've lost the use of our full bathroom. "Luckily" we have a 1/2 bath (toilet, sink) in our kitchen. (Don't ask. We didn't put it there.) I can't even begin to list all the things I find wrong with using this bathroom. I just pray that they can patch it. And I pray that my back pain doesn't bring me to tears during my u/s tomorrow. Oh and my "over doing it"...I hope and pray that doesn't cause Tiny to come early. (By the way, I talked to Dr. D's office today and my fFN was NEGATIVE! Woo who! So hopefully that will get us another two weeks of baking...that would take us to 34 weeks. Not bad.)

***Not sure when this will post but it was written late, late Wednesday night. Just so you know that the "today" I refer to is Wednesday, not Thursday.***

Okay so I had my weekly 17P injection and my appointment with Dr. D yesterday. I tried to write all about it yesterday but I was exhausted (still am) and it just wasn't happening. Sorry.

So Lisa came at 8:00am, per usual. We sat. We chatted. She took vitals for me and Tiny. Then she gave me my injection. I finally got around to asking her if she knows why some of the injections burn and others don't. She said that's just the way it goes. So nothing to be concerned about. Just one of those things. Overall, it was a rather lovely visit...aside from the whole injection part. :) lol


The we all got dressed and ready and took Elliott Richard to Grandma G's house. Then Rob and I went to my appointment with Dr. D. The appointment was at 10:00am but I didn't take into account the fact that he hadn't seen patients on Monday so the office was PACKED! I swear for every 3 patients they called back another 5 walked through the door. It was craziness.

At 10:45am they finally called me back for my NST. I had a few contractions that seemed to go on forever. But overall it went pretty well. Of course, in keeping with being my son Tiny started moving like a good little boy and then promptly got the hiccups so rather than being done in 10 minutes it took us about a half hour. (lol)

Once that was done, the nurse took me to the exam room. Dr. D came in and did the fFN test, which I guess will be my last one. (woo who!) He said that we are looking good and have done everything we can. Now we wait. He didn't really give any indication of whether he thinks Tiny will come in the next few weeks or not, at least not that I can remember. I asked him about the hot flashes I've been having. He said they were normal. As are the spots within my line of vision during the hot flashes. So all in all, it was a pretty low-key appointment.

Then we had to make an appointment for a BPP on Thursday (I was supposed to have it yesterday but they didn't tell me to schedule it so I have to go back tomorrow.) and an appointment for an NST and BPP for next Tuesday. :) Yup, I now get to see Tiny once a week until he makes his appearance. (Yippee!)

They didn't have the results of my fFN test yesterday when I called. So I have to call in a little bit to find out what they are. Rob still thinks it will come back positive. I'm not sure what I think. All I really know is that I'm sore and exhausted and can't seem to stay awake lately.


After my appointment we went to pick up Elliott Richard from Grandma G's house. We ended up hanging out for a while and just chatting with Mom. Then when it was time to leave we found Elliott passed out on the couch. So we stayed for a while longer. Once we finally got home I was in a funk. No reason really. I think it's just crazy pregnancy hormones.

Rob decided to take me out for one last "hurrah" and we went out for dinner. This is always one of the ways I can tell I'm a mom...Rob offers to take me to dinner and I pass up the places I would typically ask to go for a "kid friendly" place. I finally opted for Golden Corral because it's a buffet and we could get there and get Elliott eating right away. Plus there's the added bonus of I can eat whatever I want and as much as I want. And so can Rob and Elliott. So if Elliott doesn't eat what we picked out the first time, we can just get him something else. All I really cared about was the steak, potatoes, and sauteed mushrooms. :) Yum.

After dinner we made a quick dash to Pat Catan's so I could pick up some card making supplies. I also got to pick up some new stamps which were on sale and some different papers. Now I just have to find the motivation to make the cards. (lol)

What Tiny is up to today: In the latest womb reports, your amazing baby has now developed sensitivity to temperature! This means you’ll probably get a swift kick if you put a hot pad on your ginormous belly. For the Elton John lovers out there-- yes, baby’s got blue eyes. At this point, all babies do, although depending on their chromosomal disposition, this could easily change after birth (or even between now and labor), but for the time being, blue it is. Thanks to their recently matured lungs and a remarkably strong immune system, over 90% of babies born in their 32nd week, survive premature births. So it’s pretty much a done deal. Even if your little monkey’s planning on heading out early, their survival odds are in everyone’s favor. Time to celebrate (no, no, wait until after the birth to crack open the champagne!) We’re talking baby-showers and alcohol-free punch!

Oh and to answer the question some of you have been asking about Tiny's name...I was happy with Alexander. I even thought we may have found a middle name. Then Rob decides that he likes "Reid" and can't live without it. (insert eye roll here) I don't know how I feel about it. As a middle name, maybe. But I don't really care for it as a first name. (Help!)

Good morning. I'm exhausted and still not quite awake, despite having been "awake" for an hour and a half.

Elliott is busy taking my books off my book shelf, stacking them up and knocking them down. I am so sore it is absolutely insane. I woke up at one point last night, as in sat bolt upright from a deep sleep, trying not to scream in pain because I had the worst charlie horse I've had in a while. I felt silly because I was flapping around, trying to smack Rob awake to rub it out for me. (lol) I finally landed a few smacks and woke him up. Although he wasn't exactly awake, he tried to rub it out. He did manage to get it to a tolerable level so I was able to go back to sleep. So now, my leg is still cramped up. My back is cramped up. And for some reason my right arm is killing me!

Today my plan is to work on some things online. Try and make some cards. Eat a lot of food. And generally veg since I seriously over did it on Monday and Tuesday. Fun. Fun.

79 down ~ 56 to go
12 injections down ~ 6 to go
11 weeks down ~ 7 to go

I've been writing blogs on the stories of my boys. So far I've completed the first 3 parts of Elliott Richard's story. Once I finish telling his back story, I will go and write up Gavin's. If you are interested in how my pregnancy, labor and delivery etc with Elliott went...here you go. :)

Again I may be jinxing myself, but I'm thrilled (honestly, I am) to report that Elliott Richard slept THROUGH THE NIGHT!!!! (Woo who!) That makes 3 full nights sleep in a row! Of course, we finally seem to have this down pat and just as we all get used to it...along will come Tiny. (lol)

As for today's plans...we are planning on going to Grandma and Grandpa G's house for a big ole family cookout etc. Before we can go there are a few things we need to do....

1. I need to take a shower.
2. Elliott Richard needs a bath.
3. I need to take my meds and get my "morning torture" (as I've taken to calling my Heparin injections).
4. Gavin needs to pack for Grandma W's.
5. I need to make plans to meet up with her.

I'm looking forward to a change of scenery and Grandpa G's ultra comfy Lazy Boy recliner. (Yes!) And hopefully there will be lots of yummy food to fill my tummy! :) My only concern about the day is that when I'm over there I tend to get up more than I do here at home...and I'm not sure that's such a good idea. I'll just have to make sure Rob is nearby at all times.

I'm still feeling like Tiny is dropped. Although I'm not quite sure if he's "engaged" or not. Meaning I think he's head down and hanging out in the birth canal, ready to come out and play. But I don't know if he's "locked" down there or if he can still pop out. I'm hoping he can still pop out. But I know he's down there pretty good because when he gets the hiccups now (usually 3-4 times a day) I only feel the little "bomp bomp bomp" down there and on my cervix. Before I would feel them all over and my whole belly would jump with them. I keep praying that he's going to pop back out and hang out in there for a while longer (only another 5 and 1/2 weeks) but I'm not sure that's going to happen. *sigh*

So while I'm not going to L&D or anything. And I know that a lot of you are already praying for us. If you could just pray extra hard that we make it to 36-37 weeks, I would really appreciate it.

I hated having Elliott Richard in the NICU, although the staff made it completely bearable and as pleasant an experience as possible. I hate that his medical records will forever read "preemie" because he was 36 and not 37 weeks. Plus on a completely selfish level, I would rather avoid the "bottle v breast" debate in terms of which will get him released faster. And again on the selfish level, I am going to want to be in the NICU all the time but with two kids "on the outside"that isn't going to be nearly as easy as it was with one.

Pray! Pray! Pray!

77 down ~ 58 to go

Now that we all know that Tiny is in fact a boy (If this is news to you, see previous post here.) we can talk names. Gavin has actually picked the first name: Alexander. Rob and Gavin plan to call him "Alex". I plan to call him "Xander". (That's pronounced Zander for those who don't know.) Unfortunately, the family as a whole agrees that he will most likely be stuck with the nickname "Tiny" for the rest of his life. lol (Sorry about that kiddo.) Now we are just trying to come up with a middle name. Rob wants Alexander Joseph. I like Alexander John. I'm open to suggestions. Just bare in mind that I don't have to like or take your suggestions. And it isn't a reflection on you or anything else if I don't take your suggestion. It simply means it wasn't "right".

So let's have some fun with this. Let's have a little contest. I don't have anything to offer as a prize other than the thrill of knowing that you helped me keep from going crazy trying to figure it out on my own. Here are my guidelines. You don't have to follow them. That's why they are guidelines.

I'm big into meaning. (Some ideas are God, gift, firey, fighter.)
It has to sound good with Alexander. (I don't want to feel silly calling out his full name when he's in trouble. lol)
Unique is good.
Crazy and completely out there are not. (I don't want him picked on for sharing his middle name or scared to share it.)

And just for reference purposes, here's the meaning and origin of Alexander.

Alexander: Greek meaning Defender of men

I think I'll leave this open until Tiny is born or I find a winner, which ever comes first. (I'll bump it once a week to keep it fresh in your minds. :) lol)

Okay so I haven't introduced my new blogs recently. Well not my new blogs but the blogs and whatnot that I've found and grown addicted to. :)

Bed Rest and Beyond ~ This is the story of Becci. She started this blog when it was discovered in her second pregnancy that she has I.C. (Incompetent Cervix). She had a cerclage and nearly her entire pregnancy was spent on strict bed rest. She chronicles her entire pregnancy and delivery. Then she goes on to tell the story of their journey on the quest for #2. I love the blog! Now go! Check it out! Read Becci's story - start to finish! :)

Ok...I have other blogs that I have discovered. However, I don't know if I'm going to add them to my Blogs of Note list. So it remains to be seen if they will be listed here. Now on to the other things I've discovered and want to share...

Verve Earth ~ You go. You sign up. You start a little profile-thingie. It plots you on the global map every time you view your blog (I think). And it shows all the other people around the globe who are viewing their blogs. You can search based on keywords etc. It seems pretty cool.

Blogamama ~ You can list your blog here too. I *think* you have to be a mama to list your blog here - but I'm not sure. Since most of you who read my blog are mamas...you're good to go. ;) lol Although in order to list your blog you have put their little graphic button or text link on your blog linking back to the Blogamama page. No big deal really. And that's where I found a bunch of the blogs I'm currently reading and reviewing for you. ;)

The Mom Blogs ~ Now this one I know for sure you have to be a mom in order to list your blog here. However, it operates much like Blogamama. You give them your information. You put their button/icon thingie on your blog - on the actual blog not in a post.

So basically, for an interesting read...check out Becci's blog. To find some cool blogs to read, checdk out Blogamama and The Mom Blogs sites. :)

I'm off to vegge now...seriously...I am. I swear. Maybe...

Double blech! The more Rob and I debate whether Tiny has dropped. The more we are certain that he has. Or he's trying. I've only got one lump now, so I know he isn't laying transverse (side to side). And I'm 90% certain that lump is his butt because he's been spinning and I watch his feet become little lumps as he pushes off and spins. Then I'll get a foot to the ribs and an elbow when he wants to stop. It's interesting. I'm so sore. My whole body just aches! Especially where he's doing all his break-dancing moves - oh dear God. Not to mention the pain when he nabs a ligament with an elbow.

Luckily, I've been sleeping okay the past few nights. Although I probably just jinxed myself by saying that. Elliott Richard has been going to sleep without help, although I'm still sitting nearby. Every night I move a little more away. I'm also trying to get him to fall back to sleep on his own. It's so going...but we're getting there.

I finally got all of our contacts into Outlook. All 204 of them! And I didn't even add all of the contacts in my organizer. I only added the ones we had to have. Well that and all of my email addresses...but still...204 is just insane.

Okay, the "morning sickness" is kicking in again. Time to take my meds. Then find something to eat. And zone in front of the TV - Rob is wants to watch "Norbit". That movie where Eddie Murphy plays most of the characters himself. *shrugs* Whatever.

I've been feeling really crappy today. I don't think I'm getting sick. It's just pregnancy ickies. I woke up this morning to find Tiny out of my ribs and dropped! (Ack!) I'm praying that he's just practicing and will pop back out. It is too early for him to even think of making an appearance!

My morning sickness has been rearing it's ugly head for the past few days. I've been taking my Phenergan but it's only taking the edge off. What really stinks is that I'm starving but when I eat absolutely nothing sits right. Which is just cruel and unfair for a pregnant woman!

I've been feeling a little better contraction wise over the past few days. Still having them but nowhere near as bad as they have been. Today they are back with avengance! Right now they are 10 minutes apart consistantly. My back is killing me with them too.

I refuse to have this baby now! I've got a shower in 8 days darn it! *stomps foot* (at least I would stomp my foot if I weren't laying down to try and stop this mess) Plus I had decided he was going to be full term (even if that's just 37 weeks) so that Rob and I wouldn't have to deal with the nursing over bottle issue again. *sigh*

I wonder what it's like to have a "textbook" pregnancy. *double sigh*

Okay, so I've been thinking about a lot of things lately. Let's face it, I'm a thinker to begin with so I think way more than I should right out of the gate. Then you throw in the bed rest and there really isn't much more for me to do besides think...a lot.

Anyway, one thing I've been thinking about is "Friendship".

I love having friends. (Who doesn't, right?) And I've been blessed enough to have a few true friends off and on my whole late teens/adult life. My best friend from high school, Amanda, said it best a few years when she described our friendship. She said that she's always known we are true friends because even when we go years without seeing or talking to each other (my fault but that's a long story), when we reconnect it's as if no time has passed at all. I love her for her willingness and ability to forgive me.

Truth be told, and I'm sure some may disagree, I feel like I am a horrible friend. I don't know why. I can only guess. There are some friend-things I always do. Then there are other friend-things that I am good at in the beginning but as time goes on, I down right suck. I will always be there for my friends to the best of my ability. It is not unusal for me drop everything to sit with a friend with a broken heart or drive where ever, when ever to help a friend out. As I've grown up and my own responsibilities have increased this has become more difficult to do. Back in the day, I would drop anything and everything to be where ever I was needed. That part I'm good at.

The phone calls. Emails. Remembering to mail birthday cards etc. I'm horrible at. I'm great at remembering the actual days. I'm even great at getting a card (since I make them lol) but I just seem to fall painfully short when it comes time to mail them.

I think that people take my...lack of enthusiasm over phones calls and whatnot as a lack of enthusiasm in the friendship. That honestly couldn't be further from the truth. Part of it is that I go through moods where I want to talk on the phone all the time. Then there are moods when I will talk on the phone if I absolutely have to. Most of the time, I don't like to talk on the phone (except to my Mom). I guess it's kind of like I'm on contact overload after dealing with the boys all day. So when they are napping or down for the night, I just want to be left alone. To sit and do what I need to do or want to do without anyone demanding or needing my attention. Even Rob falls prey to this. I still consider you guys my friends, I just don't talk to you very much. Which sound bad.

*sigh* I just don't know. I miss my friends. I miss the days of being able to do special things for them. I feel guilty that my method of "doing special things for friends" has resorted to me leaving glitter messages on their MySpace pages or Facebook pages. I don't like having to resort to these things, however, something is better than nothing, right?

What am I teaching my boys about friends and friendship? When I was growing up, my mom had this friend that was just suffocating. At least I thought she was. She would call and my mom would be on the phone for hours! Even though they had just had lunch together the day before so seriously how much could they possibly have to discuss? And I learned early on that I did not want that kind of friendship. I didn't want to be the suffocating friend. Nor did I want to be the suffocated friend. Unfortunately, I never learned what that middle road was. I tried my whole childhood to find that middle ground. And I remember failing a lot along the way. But I don't know that I ever figured it out.

So, someone please tell me, where that middle ground is! How do you be a great friend without loosing yourself in the process? I'm open to any and all opinions on this...seriously.

75 down ~ 60 to go

Ok, so Rob gave me this great new phone that's way more than I will ever need. However, he feels better for having given me a really cool phone and I can check my email and instant message from it...so whatever. The problem is that I have needed to enter my contacts for the past...oh let's just say month now. I'm finally getting to doing that. Not because I want to but because I'm tired of getting text messages and not knowing who they are from. Plus, I'm on bed rest and I feel that I should at least accomplish a few "real life" things while I'm laying here.

Anyway, as I'm going through my contacts in Outlook I'm noticing duplicates galore. As well as, email addresses with no names and whatnot. So...I'm cleaning out my contacts. If I disappear from your MSN Messenger list, I'm sorry. If you no longer get emails from me, well, that's not really indicative of anything since I don't really email anyone very much. But you get the idea. I'm not deleting on a personal level. It's strictly a matter of time and space. (Do you have any idea how long it takes to scroll through all those email addresses with no names when I'm just looking for someone's phone number?! It's insane.)

Some Mothers Get Babies With Something More
Written by: Lori Borgman
Columnist and Speaker

Expectant mothers waiting for a newborn's arrival say they don't care what sex the baby is. They just want to have ten fingers and ten toes.

Mothers lie.

Every mother wants so much more. She wants perfectly healthy baby with a round head, rosebud lips, button nose, beautiful eyes and satin skin. She wants a baby so gorgeous that people will pity the Gerber baby for being flat-out ugly. She wants a baby that will roll over, sit up and take those first steps right on schedule (according to the baby development chart on page 57, column two). Every mother wants a baby that can see, hear, run, jump and fire neurons by the billions. She wants a kid that can smack the ball out of the park and do toe points that are the envy of the entire
ballet class. Call it greed if you want, but a mother wants what a mother wants.

Some mothers get babies with something more. Maybe you're one who got a baby with a condition you couldn't pronounce, a spine that didn't fuse, a missing chromosome or a palate that didn't close. The doctor's words took your breath away. It was just like the time at recess in the fourth grade when you didn't see the kick ball coming, and it knocked the wind right out of you.

Some of you left the hospital with a healthy bundle, then, months, even years later, took him in for a routine visit, or scheduled him for a checkup, and crashed head first into a brick wall as you bore the brunt of devastating news. It didn't seem possible. That didn't run in your family. Could this really be happening in your lifetime?

There's no such thing as a perfect body. Everybody will bear something at some time or another. maybe the affliction will be apparent to curious eyes, or maybe it will be unseen, quietly treated with trips to the doctor, therapy or surgery. Mothers of children with disabilities live the limitations with them.

Frankly, I don't know how you do it. Sometimes you mothers scare me. How you lift that kid in and out of the wheelchair twenty times a day. How you monitor tests, track medications, and serve as the gatekeeper to a hundred specialists yammering in your ear. I wonder how you endure the clichés and the platitudes, the well-intentioned souls explaining how God is at work when you've occasionally questioned if God is on strike. I even wonder how you endure schmaltzy columns like this one-saluting you, painting you as hero and saint, when you know you're ordinary. You snap, you bark, you bite. You didn't volunteer for this, you didn't jump up and down
in the motherhood line yelling, "Choose me, God. Choose me? I've got what it
takes."

You're a woman who doesn't have time to step back and put things in perspective, so let me do it for you.

From where I sit, you're way ahead of the pack. You've developed the strength of the draft horse while holding onto the delicacy of a daffodil. You have a heart that melts like chocolate in a glove box in July, counter-balanced against the stubbornness of an Ozark mule. You are the mother, advocate and protector of a child with a disability. You're a neighbor, a friend, a woman I pass at church and my sister-in-law.

You're a wonder.

**********************
I borrowed this from Susie's blog. She borrowed it from someone else. Quite frankly, I don't care where it came from. I'm just content to have found it. I cried the first time I read it. Then I read it to Rob and I cried again. I've always felt that there weren't words to do justice to how it feels to be a mother of a child "with something more". Apparently there are words to do it justice. I simply hadn't found them yet.

I am thrilled to report that I actually got more than a 45 minute stretch of sleep last night! Wooooo Whooooo!!!!!! Rob and I made it to bed at about midnight. And it helped that I had just taken my medications for my back right before we went to bed. I vaguely remember Elliott Richard waking up at one point screaming his head off. Rather than wait for me to drag my pregnant butt out of bed (which is getting more and more difficult everyday) he hopped out of bed and ran over to Rob. Then he climbed over Rob into bed between us and we all fell asleep. We just woke up about a half hour ago. I'm by no means "caught up". (And yes, I know that you can never trully "catch up" on sleep but you get the idea.) But it was nice to get some sleep. Although I'm now more exhausted that I was yesterday because my body has had that taste of sleep and realizes how much it's been missing.

I had a crazy dream too. Rob, the boys and I went on a little mini vacation somewhere. When we got home we discovered that our house had been broken into. Rob started making the phone calls (police etc) while I went and took an inventory of what was missing. Here's the odd part, nothing was missing. Whoever had broken into the house had played with Elliott's toys and gone through his clothes - making a huge mess - but they hadn't taken anything. I'm thinking it has some subconscience meaning having to do with Elliott Richard and Tiny. It was just interesting.

I don't have any big plans for today. Just laying in bed. Staying down as much as possible, which honestly isn't nearly as much as I'm supposed to be down. I've been awake a whole 45 minutes and my back is already throbbing. And could it possibly be any colder this morning?! Ick!

74 down ~ 61 to go

I had plans for today. Even considering the fact that I got up at 4:00am. I even made a To-Do List. Here it is:

1. List new cards on Etsy.
2. Update pregnancy journals.
3. Write Elliott's Story (Before, The Pregnancy, L&D, Home, The Aftermath)
4. Write Gavin's Story (The Pregnancy, L&D, Home, The Aftermath)
5. Write the growing list of emails that needed written.
6. Ship gift tags that were purchased in Etsy store.
7. Mail Elliott's test.
8. Create database in Excel to track the inventory (both listed and purchased) for the Etsy store.

I managed to complete numbers: 1, parts of 3, 7, a portion of 8. I guess all in all that's not too bad.

My day has been pretty quiet. My back has been throbbing today. My morning sickness made an unwelcome appearance. So I've actually had to take my Phenergan as directed rather than as needed like I typically do. Rob was kind enough to allow me to take a 2 hour nap and a bath. I've been having contractions consistently 15 minutes apart for an hour then 20 minutes apart for an hour. Back and forth. Back and forth. All day today.

Elliott Richard appears unfazed by the waking every 45 minutes. I wish I were that resilient. lol

Gavin had a run in with Grandma and Grandpa G's dog, Rogue, this afternoon. She isn't sure what happened first but she does know that Gavin kicked the her (the dog). My mom called a little bit ago and I asked Gavin what happened. He said that Rogue jumped up (she's part Australian Sheppard and loves to jump) and knocked heads with him. He got angry and kicked her. I told him that we don't kick people, animals or things. We are only allowed to kick in martial arts. He said he understood and had told Rogue he was sorry. I just don't know what to do with him anymore. I guess I'll start by calling Dr. R tomorrow and trying to get in earlier. Something has got to give. And right now, that "something" is our sanity...

You Can Only Type One Word
Not as easy as you might think.
Good luck!!!!

1. Where is your cell phone? charging
2. Your significant other? selfless
3. Your hair? long
4. Where's your mother? work
5. Your father? driven
6. Your favorite thing? family
7. Your dream last night? non-existant
8. Your favorite drink? pop
9. Your dream/goal? happiness
10. The room you're in? living room
11. Your ex? pass
12. Your fear? pain
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? happy
14. Where were you last night? bedroom
15. What you're not? comfortable
16. Muffins? blueberry
17. One of your wish list items? sanity
18. Where you grew up? Ohio
19. The last thing you did? kiss
20. What are you wearing? pajamas
21. Your TV? satellite
22. Your pets? irritating
23. Your computer? old
24. Your life? complicated
25. Your mood? exhausted
26. Missing someone? Granny
27. Your car? parked
28. Something you're not wearing? shoes
29. Favorite Store? Amazon
30. Your spring? outside
31. Like someone? sure
32. Your favorite color? blue
33. When is the last time you laughed? yesterday
34. Last time you cried? yesterday
35. Who will/would re-post this? Julie
36. Who won't/wouldn't re-post this? Nikky
37. Favorite sport/activity? writing

I tag:
Julie (because she's bored and bed ridden like me)
Jen (because she hasn't posted in 2 weeks but might be reading and I miss her)
Nikky (because it will bug her and that's fun *evil laugh*)

And if you believe that, I've got bridge to sell you. *sigh*

For...what...the 4th night in a row (I've lost track at this point.) I've had little spurts of sleep. 45 minutes at a time. I don't know what is going on with Elliott Richard. I wish I did though because I honestly may loose my mind from pain + bed rest + lack of sleep. I was so ready to write this post (at maybe 8 or 9am - not 5:10am!) and tell you how yet again Elliott Richard shocked me with his ability to know when it's time for a change for him. I guess, to a certain extent, I can still write that post. Only it won't end quite the way I had hoped.

Elliott has always done things on his own time. Even in the NICU, he knew when he was ready and if we didn't listen, he made it loud and clear. Over the past 6 months or so, I've worked off and on to get Elliott Richard to self-soothe. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't.

Lately our routine has been: Daddy carries him upstairs for me and brushes Elliott's teeth. Then I sit in the bedroom next to his bed and help him fall asleep by patting his back and butt. Usually I ask him, "Do you want Mama to pat?" when he's playing around and he'll stop and say, "Yesh." Well the past few nights I've asked, "Do you want Mama to pat?" and he's answered, "No." Well it didn't occur to me that he was serious.

Then last night I asked. He said, "No." Again, I didn't think he was serious. So I started to pat and then I was distracted and I stopped for a moment or two. When I looked up, he was out cold! :) I was pleasantly surprised. Then all evening while Rob and I were watching the season finales of our shows, Elliott would wake up and fuss. Usually this would require one of us to go upstairs and help him back to sleep. Tonight he handled it on his own! (Yay!)

I had such high hopes for the night. He self-soothed to sleep. He self-soothed a few times during the evening. I thought maybe, just maybe I was going to get a full nights sleep. Nope.

From the moment Rob and I went to bed at midnight, he's been up every 45 minutes! I finally gave up at 4:45am and came down stairs. I turned the baby monitor off so I don't know if he's been up again. But he if he's going to do it again, he should be up any minute now.

I debated trying to sleep on my bed here in the living room but it's not worth it. I'd only get a few hours sleep, more like a nap, which would just make things worse for me during the day. So I'm sitting here. Writing blogs. Watching "The Steve Wilkos Show" that I have recorded. It's going to be a long day...

73 down ~ 62 to go

***Side note: Is anyone else having an issue with Blogger saving drafts as completely seperate posts in draft mode? I just went through my lists of posts because this post errored out when I tried to post it and I had probably 25 posts that were listed as "drafts" but most of them were nothing more than the title of posts that were finished and posted ages ago. Just thought I'd ask.